DEMOCRACY'S LEGACY  9:42 am October 15, 2009

There Is Nothing That Carly Fiorina Hated More In The 90s Than Voting

by Juli Weiner

Carly Fiorina is notable for exactly one thing: like three weeks ago, she became famous for having the Internet’s worst website. She thought it would be enough, you see, to let people know that the worlds “Carly Fiorina” sort of sound like “California,” and this is how she expected to defeat Barbara Boxer for her Senate seat. Just by pointing out this one thing. But now there’s a new Carly Fiorina thing! Specifically Fiorina, like eBay lady/gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman, doesn’t care for voting, just simply does not care for it.

Some muckraker from the San Jose Mercury News reports that Fiorina didn’t vote from 1989 to 1999, despite the fact that New Jersey, where Fiorina was living at the time, presumably had literally a bunch of elections during that time period. Her spokesperson explains: “She’s clearly on record saying it’s bad not to vote, and she regrets not voting.” Carly Fiorina owes everyone an apology website.

[San Jose Mercury News]

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WarAndG October 15, 2009 at 9:45 am

Carlyfornification is how she could have cashed in the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s finest work.

Formerly Preferred October 15, 2009 at 9:47 am

But in her defense, it’s not like voting in Jersey has any actual impact on election results. She probably bought and paid for her preferred candidates the same way that everyone else in Jersey does. Democracy!

Doglessliberal October 15, 2009 at 9:48 am

Carlyfornia sounds like a sex act. But maybe that is what she is going for.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 15, 2009 at 9:48 am

I swear I thought the website said “Carlyfornia Reamin’.” Which actually seems appropriate.

memzilla October 15, 2009 at 9:49 am

Er, hasn’t the title “Worst Website” been captured by We need a Wonkett Poll!

Advocatus_Diaboli October 15, 2009 at 9:51 am

Voting is hard work, but so is destroying companies, so she’s got that.

AggieDemocrat October 15, 2009 at 9:52 am

[re=435563]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Which makes me wonder what happens if I click the “get involved” button.

Doglessliberal October 15, 2009 at 9:53 am

[re=435567]memzilla[/re]: yeah, that title has a lot of competition. The book burning site I would say is vying in the race for the bottom.

ifthethunderdontgetya" October 15, 2009 at 9:54 am

[re=435560]WarAndG[/re]: At first glance, that is what I thought I saw.

Come here a minute October 15, 2009 at 9:54 am

The only state Boxer is fit to represent is Barboxida.

Woodwards Friend October 15, 2009 at 9:58 am

[re=435567]memzilla[/re]: Someone should combine the sites: Steeleifornia Dreaming! What up, Carly.

DangerousLiberal October 15, 2009 at 10:01 am

[re=435562]Doglessliberal[/re]: I thought that was her porn name.

Buzz Feedback October 15, 2009 at 10:01 am

She was busy that decade working on her plan to destroy HP.

Spike October 15, 2009 at 10:08 am

In her defense, she was busy driving HP into the ground at the time.

Spike October 15, 2009 at 10:09 am

Oh wait… my mistake… that particular decade she was driving Lucent into the ground.

Car Ramrod October 15, 2009 at 10:13 am

[re=435560]WarAndG[/re]: Bzzt. Wrong answer. You mean: Carly Fiorina’s Milk.

hobospacejunkie October 15, 2009 at 10:13 am

Oh look, another stupidly rich person who gained her wealth by destroying the lives of thousands of people. And that silly Barney Frank says CEO incentives are skewed. Suck it, Barney!

jagorev October 15, 2009 at 10:14 am

To be fair, Fiorina and Whitman are both ladies, and its not like we’d count their votes anyway.

elburrito October 15, 2009 at 10:14 am

Ironic that now legions of people are spying on Carly.

hobospacejunkie October 15, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=435587]Car Ramrod[/re]: There’s no need to put Carly Fiorina & milk in the same sentence. That’s just abusing your posting privileges.

The Church of Realism October 15, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=435562]Doglessliberal[/re]: Hmmm..,the Hot Carlyfornia? Which is exactly what she would do to the faces of California voters if she were elected.

jagorev October 15, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=435588]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Wait, how did the CEO of HP-Compaq destroy “the lives of thousands of people”? Plz check ur facts before posting leftie wharrgarble, thx.

couchbound October 15, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=435578]Woodwards Friend[/re]: I tried, but her site’s flash seemed to eat poor Chairman Steele.

One Yield Regular October 15, 2009 at 10:18 am

Civic responsibility is for the poors.

BigDupa October 15, 2009 at 10:21 am

She needs a new slogan, “Burning HP into the ground was just the beginning. Look out world!” Bet she’s way into transparency in government- Government should be able to have all your phone records.

Doglessliberal October 15, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=435594]The Church of Realism[/re]: I see a Savage Love invent-the-sex-act contest here.

WadISay October 15, 2009 at 10:28 am

Considering how she probably would have voted, I’m OK with this. Similarly, I used the “they’re all crooks; nuts with ‘em all” line on my parents a lot.

Cape Clod October 15, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=435590]elburrito[/re]: Yeah, kharma’s a bitch, isn’t it?

charlesdegoal October 15, 2009 at 10:29 am

[re=435572]Doglessliberal[/re]: Don’t you dare put down the “book-burning site”, which represents Americana at its best (and worst, coincidentally).

Josh Fruhlinger October 15, 2009 at 10:30 am

[re=435595]jagorev[/re]: I think by “destroy” he meant not “blow to pieces, with bombs,” but “gut the once-proud company they worked their whole lives for and then fire them.” Admittedly, it’s more metaphorical destruction. The bar for Republicans is set pretty high.

Aflac Shrugged October 15, 2009 at 10:33 am

All that time the peasants wasted “educating themselves on the issues” and “voting,” Carly Fiorina spent on being rich and white.

If that’s not paying attention to what it takes to be governor of any state in America, I don’t know what is.

SayItWithWookies October 15, 2009 at 10:41 am

“She’s clearly on record saying it’s bad not to vote, and she regrets not voting.”

And Ted Haggard is clearly on the record saying it’s bad to have sex with your male prostitute/meth dealer, and regrets doing so. There — integrity restored!

widget09 October 15, 2009 at 10:47 am

Dream of CarlyFornication.

hobospacejunkie October 15, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=435595]jagorev[/re]: I’d say fucking up a company so badly that 20,000 people needlessly lost their jobs counts as destroying. I’m sorry if that’s too hyperbolic for you. Why don’t you give Carly a call & go work for her if you have such a problem with my bashing her.

hobospacejunkie October 15, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=435595]jagorev[/re]: Sorry, my bad. I meant to say if that’s too hyperbolic for you, blow me.

Big Liver October 15, 2009 at 11:00 am

Voting is for the little people.

Johnny Zhivago October 15, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=435642]hobospacejunkie[/re]: It was more than 20000 – more like 40000 – 20000 was the number laid off in the largest SINGLE layoff.

And you’re right – it was needless – almost entirely brought on by the merger with Compaq, which was a total fiasco. Of course the one smart thing Carly tried to do – buy Price Waterhouse – fell through – so that was a fiasco as well.

And BTW, how come no one ever brings up the vendor financing fraud which she was part of at Lucent?

TubeCity October 15, 2009 at 11:09 am

Let’s see… Lucent (the once mighty and renowned Bell Laboratories), Hewlett-Packard (the once mighty and renowned technology company), the McCain campaign (where Carly opined that McCain was not fit to carry the suit bag of a real leader, a CEO)… how much money and fame does she figure she can get out of destroying California?

Johnny Zhivago October 15, 2009 at 11:10 am

Wonder if Carly expects the Senate to spring for a facelift like HP did when she was hired on???

ManchuCandidate October 15, 2009 at 11:11 am

[re=435664]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:
And the reason why she was too busy to vote in NJ.

Lucent, another company that was CarlyFiorinacated.

Johnny Zhivago October 15, 2009 at 11:12 am

[re=435669]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Oh, I forgot – the facelift is one of those things that the Board of Directors demanded…

Johnny Zhivago October 15, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=435671]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Don’t get me started on Carly… I remember when she was hired by HP – the reaction of Lucent people was “you’ve got to be kidding” – because the word was that she was about to be fired by Lucent.

She is as smooth a bullshit artist as you’ve ever met in person, however. Absolutely one of the best.

totoro October 15, 2009 at 11:18 am

Look, voting is for poor people. It’s a little puppet show letting them think they have control over the government. Whitman and Fiorina let their voices be heard via their corporate lobbyists and massive, first-amendment-protected campaign contributions. I bet they even took their grandkids with them to a 50K/plate McCain fundraiser to let them experience Democracy in Action.

And yes, Fiorina was a total failure as a corporate CEO, her apparent claim to competence. And let’s not forget she sucked so bad at politics John McCain FIRED her for talking so much idiocy all the time, for example, announcing that her boss was too dumb to run a corporation. Because she would know.

AggieDemocrat October 15, 2009 at 11:31 am

[re=435705]totoro[/re]: She’s a CEO success just like Bush was a CEO success. And she’ll run on that “success,” too. And we all know how CEO Bush turned out for America.

Watch out, California!

jagorev October 15, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=435648]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Laying off someone != destroying their life.

Anal raping them with a vial of ebola = destroying their life.

GeneralLerong October 15, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=435705]totoro[/re]: Sure, voting is for poor people nowadays. Used to be, we could sell the rich silly trinkets in order to pry their loot away from them. Now we sell our votes, and have the fun of watching corporate oligarchs spending gazillions, duking it out with each other to control the government.

GeneralLerong October 15, 2009 at 11:47 am

And she’s also sulking because Sarah Palin looks better in the French maid Halloween costume, not her.

PabaBritannica October 15, 2009 at 11:55 am

Wow, I just learned that Carly Fiorina is the reason my mom had to go be a teacher when Western Electric/Bell Labs/Lucent got killed. Actually I think my mom liked teaching better. Thanks Carlyforniacator!

More great CEO legislators:

-Mittens Romney
-John Corzine
-G-Dubbs Bush

Fine company, indeed!

asier October 15, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=435740]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Bush was not a CEO success. His enterprises failed one after another, until daddy bought the Rangers for him. It had to be Baseball that saved him, it’s as american as invading other countries

comicbookguy October 15, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=435843]asier[/re]: Methinks your sarcasm detector needs recalibration.

asier October 15, 2009 at 12:35 pm

CarlyFornia! Wutta n Idea! I really get her train of thought. My Name is Asier. I’m gonna change it to Assier, that surely will get me a lot of ass. Or maybe just make me feel like one.

richardwb1 October 15, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Let’s put the “mi” back in Voting!


(Salinas, Caliph Ornia)

lawrenceofthedesert October 15, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Carly is of the Mies Van Der Rohe school that thinks voting is petty, messy business meant for the masses, just like the sterile boxes Ludwig designed for their petty, messy existence. Not to worry — considering that there are 14 Republicans left in California, it’s the sound of one stump clapping.

Paul Tardy October 15, 2009 at 2:09 pm

Anyone who doesn’t understand that voting is a futile and only serves to allow little people to live in a false reality where they are considered top shelf citizens would never get my vote.

problemwithcaring October 15, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=436030]Paul Tardy[/re]: And anyone too dumb to fake like they don’t hate poor people and think they can still get elected by liberals is probably a Paultard.

coolcatdaddy October 15, 2009 at 3:17 pm


Failed politicians go off and form a think tank, become a lobbyist, or harmlessly teach college somewhere.

Failed CEOS, unfortunately, turn to politics as something else they can screw up.

proudgrampa October 15, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Carly Fiorina is a Total Dick. If you like what she did to Lucent and HP, you’ll love what she can do to CA, USA, the Earth.

Jukesgrrl October 15, 2009 at 4:39 pm

[re=435606]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: A similar thing happened to me and now look how much time I have to spend with you folks. So it’s not all bad. I now have time to look at Meghan’s tits, worry about the balloon boy, and send evil vibes to Max Baucus all day, without that pesky “work” thing getting in the way.

Senile Agitation October 15, 2009 at 4:58 pm

Luckily, California is already incredibly pre-fucked for her convenience, she’d really only have to sit back, count fires and wonder whatever happened to that balloon kid…

the bf October 15, 2009 at 6:33 pm

I would say something bad about Carly, but I’m afraid she’d have my phone tapped.

Johnny Zhivago October 15, 2009 at 8:37 pm

Actually some sad news about Carly – no snark here at all – her 35 year old step daughter apparently died on Monday… Just awful, and btw, Frank Fiorina is a really nice guy.

LowerdPeninsula October 16, 2009 at 1:29 am

[re=435757]jagorev[/re]: HP/Carly hack says what? Seriously, dude, STFU, already.

Captain Swing October 16, 2009 at 4:56 am

Electing Fiorina as your Senate Representative. Hey, Califoridudes, does the term putting the last nail in the coffin mean anything to ya?

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