STERNLY WORDED LETTERS  1:10 pm October 14, 2009

George Bush Sr. Invites Obama To Texas College, Asks Students To Please Not Be Insane

by Jim Newell

Most bored person aliveInsanely old oil monster George H.W. Bush has “pulled a Notre Dame” and invited the terrible President to come speak at Texas A&M University on Friday about the importance of Community Service, gay. George H.W. Bush is allowed to do this because (a) his Presidential Library is on the A&M campus and (b) he owns Texas. But could this be a catastrophe, now that it is controversial for presidents to talk to people in America? “Poppy” understands, though, that a few hundred racists will probably get drunk and protest for “states’ rights” or whatever, and has written an open letter to the students of A&M subtly begging them not to be complete and total assholes.

To My Fellow Members of the Texas A&M Family:

Howdy! As you have probably heard, I have invited the 44th President of the United States of America to come visit the Bush Library and Texas A&M, and President Obama has graciously accepted.

Along with the administration, faculty, and so many of you, I am honored that The President, our President, is taking the time and making the effort to come to College Station on October 16th to talk about an issue that unites all Americans — namely, community service and its vast importance to our continued well-being as a Nation. Our country still faces many tough challenges, and the message that will come out of our Presidential Forum on Service, I hope, is that every American regardless of age has an important part to play in helping us overcome the obstacles to our common progress.

This is not about politics. This is about the importance of service to our communities and our country.

It would be hard to imagine a more deserving college campus to host a Presidential Forum on volunteerism and community service than Texas A&M — which is, after all, a school steeped in a rich tradition of service. That’s why I am so proud to have our Bush Library and Museum and Bush School of Government and Public Service here, and I cannot wait for President Obama to experience the open, decent and welcoming Aggie spirit for himself.

This will be an important national moment, and a moment for Texas A&M to shine in the global spotlight as it always does. I sincerely hope and believe it will serve as a point of Aggie pride for many years to come.

Gig ‘em!

Hey, Old Man, how about you take your “open, decent and welcoming Aggie spirit” and jump off another goddamn plane with it, Old Man. Don’t you know about Obama’s so-called “government spending”?? So much of it! Community service is for finks!

Also: “Gig ‘em.” Does this vernacular go with a Vulcan salute?

Open Letter From Bush 41 to Aggie Family [KBTX via college student operative "Melissa"]

 

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{ 146 comments }

Gopherit October 14, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Asking Aggies to not be complete and total assholes to minorities? Is that even possible?

Texan Bulldoggette October 14, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Barry should come to Austin (UTX);where a majority of the kids are liberal pot-smoking, dreadlock-wearing hippies. Everyone knows A&M is where the folks who couldn’t get into UT end up.

Zadig October 14, 2009 at 1:14 pm

“Gig ‘Em and Prosper”?

ManchuCandidate October 14, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Texas and Demrat Preznits just don’t go together for some reason.

Crank Tango October 14, 2009 at 1:15 pm

gig’em…is that the texas version of “giggity giggity”?

Min October 14, 2009 at 1:16 pm

No good will come of this.

Judas Peckerwood October 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm

“Gig ‘em” is just a thinly veiled racist epithet. Nice try Klansman!

user-of-owls October 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm

[re=434458]Gopherit[/re]: Well the ‘asking’ is. The ‘complying’? No, not at all.

kilgoretrout October 14, 2009 at 1:18 pm

The Bush School of Government and Public Service sounds like a Michael Steele-ism. I went to the Bush school, ON THE STREETS, yo!

facehead October 14, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Senior Bush, he was so quiet for a while. Someone create a Bush tone so we know he’s still alive.

skaboomizzy October 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I’m disappointed in the informal opening of “Howdy”. He should have used the more dignified “What up”.

BadKitty October 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm

“Gig ‘em”? Is this some weird southern sexual act with which I am not familiar?

Sharkey October 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Giggety-giggety-giggety goo! Howdy ho, Poppy!

magic titty October 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Gig’em still classier than Nigger Rig’em.

Maybe.

hobospacejunkie October 14, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Not that I care, but where does this fuckstick get off calling himself part of the Texas A&M family? Let’s see, he’s a fucking carpetbagging Iran/Contra mastermind who married a battle-axe and foisted the most ruinous, deadly & criminal president Satan (Dark Lord hear my prayer) could ever hope for. Make this asshole live in the Astrodome with 80,000 homeless people & no air conditioning in August until he sweats to death, and feed his wife to starving hogs. It’s the least they deserve. Or as Jim says, go jump off another plane, only without the parachute this time.

mullingitover October 14, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Be extremely wary of this offer, Mr. President. Remember the last time a wildly popular president was invited to Texas?

Whitey Did Katrina October 14, 2009 at 1:22 pm

If this is how George “H. W.” Bush begs people not to be total assholes, I now understand why his sons all turned out to be total assholes.

Harvey Birdman October 14, 2009 at 1:22 pm

In the plus column, A&M has the hottest closet cases in the country.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 14, 2009 at 1:22 pm

That’s why I am so proud to have our Bush Library and Museum and Bush School of Government and Public Service here

and this, in a nutshell, is the reason why A&M will always play second fiddle to UT-Austin.

comicbookguy October 14, 2009 at 1:22 pm

I, too, cannot wait for Obama to experience “the open, decent and welcoming Aggie spirit” on live TV.

Terry October 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm

College Station. Worst f’ing college town in America. I know. I graduated from there.

This university got rid of their journalism department a few years back because a group of rich former students (good Aggies don’t use the word “alumni”, you are always an Aggie.) felt that journalism bred liberalism. There was a big kerfluffle over that, the university found a way to white wash the decision, a few profs were moved to the communications department, and the liberal breeding journalism department was gone.

How many universities in the US would do such a thing? I mean outside of Regents and Liberty. None.

I learned a lot at A&M, much of it outside the printed curriculum. My first semester there was the first time anyone told me to my face that: 1. I’m going to burn in Hell for holding different political opinions from them, 2. that white people can’t be Catholics, and 3. If I walk on certain grass I’m desecrating the memory of Aggies who died in combat and I deserve to be chased with a sword.

I wish I was making that stuff up.

4tehlulz October 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm

“Gig ‘em” obviously is code for “you only get one shot, make it count.”

ChernobylSoup v2 October 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm

That’s using a lot of words just to say please nobody point out too loudly that the new president is a ni…

DangerousLiberal October 14, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Actually, fairly graceful letter by 41. Ya know, GHWB was, compared to his misbegotten son, a decent enough guy–for a guy who lied about Iran Contra and who worked at CIA, but still, a real mensch.

I see that he left out the part Sarah Palin wanted to include. About how community service can lead to responsibility-free life of community organizing and dope smoking, also. Why, they wouldn’t even let the poor woman give her own speech on the subject. Epic FAIL.

RoscoePColtraine October 14, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Why are the olds always trying to shame us into being polite and well-behaved? All this “…I know you’ll want to….” and “…like me, so many of you…” Won’t work, won’t work. We now live in a post-Limbaugh America.

comicbookguy October 14, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=434483]hobospacejunkie[/re]: you just described the Texas A&M family perfectly. I don’t understand your confusion here.

rmontcal October 14, 2009 at 1:26 pm

hahaha that this letter is necessary.

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Texas A&M, huh? I’m sorta looking forward to the irony of a bunch of students protesting socialism at a land-grant university.

Carrie_Okie October 14, 2009 at 1:27 pm

It’s a TRAP. Don’t do it Hopey. Grassy Knoll!

Whitey Did Katrina October 14, 2009 at 1:29 pm

[re=434484]mullingitover[/re]: Texas A&M is where magic bullets are forged.

mardam422 October 14, 2009 at 1:29 pm

has written an open letter to the students of A&M subtly begging them not to be complete and total assholes.

In Texas??!!1 Good luck with that.

Woodwards Friend October 14, 2009 at 1:30 pm

What’s this “our president” shit, HW? Maybe Obama isn’t the first Kenyan president of America.

nightshift October 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm

[re=434484]mullingitover[/re]: And 41 was in Dallas in 1963 (see Russ Baker’s book).

PeteJayhawk v2.0 October 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm

They should build a bonfire in honor of the President’s appearance.

glamourdammerung October 14, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Asking Texas A&M to not be stupid towards a non-white is like trying to ask lead to turn to gold.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 14, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=434501]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Another Republican accomplishment. YAY! Wait…

SmutBoffin October 14, 2009 at 1:33 pm

Pleas for civility are actually pretty common on college campuses these days. Back when I worked at the University of Wisconsin, not an athletic event could go by without some Dean (apparently on the verge of tears) asking students not to be drunken yobs all the time. I mean, granted, this is an invited talk by the POTUS and not some hockey game against Minnesota, but there will probably be a buncha drunks there, if I know my undergraduates.

sarcasticusername October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

inviting hopey to texas?!? now the GOP is being a tad too obvious about how they plan to get “their country back.” please tell me hopey politely declined this thoughtful invitation, and if not, that the secret service plans to put him a straight jacket.

sati demise October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: oh good god, I’m with:
[re=434468]Min[/re]:
no good will come of this.

triple up on the Secret Service. Hire the black Panthers and Michael Moore to protect our POTUS!
argh, uck

Pierce Moffett October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

I believe that the phrase “gig em” is typically accompanied by an obscene hand gesture known as “the shocker.”

freakishlystrong October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: Good gawd, horrible! What was your major? Hiding? Fuck Texas, (‘cept for Austin), and Texans, (‘ceptin our Texans here).

norbizness October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=434503]Carrie_Okie[/re]: It’s a good thing Obama appointed Admiral Ackbar to be Secretary of the Intergalactic Navy.

teebob2000 October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

So what’s in it for this so-called “Melissa” person??

comicbookguy October 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

I’m sure they will be very gracious and present him with a laurel, and hardy handshake to our new…

What?

I think he said the sheriff is near.

mardam422 October 14, 2009 at 1:36 pm

[re=434493]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]:
Yeah. If this doesn’t end up looking like that scene in Blazing Saddles I’d be shocked.

octupletsmom October 14, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Oh, it will do Aggieland a lot of good to have this visit. Most of them are basically impressionable utes who like to dress up and play games (football, soldier). They will like the attention and very likely put an exaggerated overall showing of good manners.

And as a school, I don’t think they do at all badly in the community service thing, either.

They have always said “Gig ‘em” and I never thought about why but I guess it’s about U. Texas and the Longhorns. If you “gig” a livestock-type animal, you poke it to make it get going the way you want it to go, or out of your way or whatever. So I guess it’s a slap-down term meant for that UT football stuff, and adopted into everyday vernacular. My former officemate used to say (deadeat) “Gig THEM”, which was howlingly ridiculous. We had it written on his going-away cake when he got a job and went away.

teebob2000 October 14, 2009 at 1:37 pm

[re=434476]BadKitty[/re]: I think he meant “gag ‘em”, as in for the lynching.

rag October 14, 2009 at 1:38 pm
drpangloss October 14, 2009 at 1:38 pm

To bad none of Poppy Bush’s class never rubbed off on Dubya.

SwanSwanH October 14, 2009 at 1:39 pm

I’d say the Nobel committee “pulled a Notre Dame”; TAMU is sorta pulling an Arizona State, minus the smoking-hot chicks.

Gig ‘em also.

proudgrampa October 14, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=434459]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I was going to say – the President would probably get a much warmer reception in Austin.

V572625694 October 14, 2009 at 1:40 pm

The “A” in “A&M” stands for agricultural.
The “M” in “A&M” stands for military, and there was a time when every student was also a cadet.

This pretty much sets the tone for everything that happens there, although the unnatural attachment to class rings is still unexplainable.

Having been educated at Andover and Yale, GHW Bush knows all about the life of college students at public “universities” in the southwest. No wonder they made him president or took his library or whatever.

[re=434494]DangerousLiberal[/re]: You’re right about that. GHW was a baseball star at Yale, a real war hero, a successful businessman, a reliable public servant, and a president who fought a well-defined war for achievable objectives.

Chimpy was a cheerleader at Yale, dodged the draft, failed in business, a lousy governor and….wait for it…Worst President Ever. Kinda sad.

hagajim October 14, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Paw! Gitjer gun the muslins is comin’!!

magic titty October 14, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: So…no drop-top convertibles, for Barry?

user-of-owls October 14, 2009 at 1:46 pm

President Obama tweeted his reply:

Pres Bush while u retiring in Texaa u said ‘come visit A+M’
When you are a “gigger” u think evrything is FROG I’m no FROG

TexasSecessionist October 14, 2009 at 1:50 pm

I went to Texas A&M… for one year… then left. It was 1988, and over 90% of the student body voted in the Republican primary, for GW Bush. I was the loner voting for Dukakis in the Democrat primary. Its not friendly territory for socialist black men.

And another fun fact about A&M? If you’re walking on campus and make eye contact with anybody, you are required to say “Howdy”. Hence old man Bush’s salutation. Its the neighborly way. I looked at the tops of my shoes a lot that year.

Sweet Baby Cheeses October 14, 2009 at 1:50 pm

[re=434532]comicbookguy[/re]: HOWARD JOHNSON WAS RIGHT!

Hart88 October 14, 2009 at 1:50 pm

A&M? That’s like asking Cheney to stop eating live babies.

problemwithcaring October 14, 2009 at 1:51 pm

A&M can give the fake preznit all the honorary doctorates it wants, but they will only pry Alan Keyes’s bloody dead baby fetus dolls and carriages away from his cold dead hands.

Servo October 14, 2009 at 1:52 pm

“Scuse me while I whip this out.”

Egregious October 14, 2009 at 1:52 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]:

I concur. I lived in TX for 25 yrs before escaping. I can tell you that having President Obama address the Aggie student body would be akin to President GW Bush addressing the student body of Berkley on the anniversary of the 2nd Gulf War.

populucious October 14, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Neither the first nor I imagine the last time I am so freakin sad Molly Ivans is dead…what she could do with this!

El Pinche October 14, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Right now, Erick “Erick” Erickson’s tiny neurons are flickering trying to come up with some shitty analogy of killing GHB.

snideinplainsight October 14, 2009 at 1:53 pm

[re=434459]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Maybe College Station doesn’t have as high a clock tower as UT Austin? Just askin’

MLHencken October 14, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Is it really a good idea for a Democratic President to visit Texas while still in office?

Terry October 14, 2009 at 1:54 pm

[re=434529]freakishlystrong[/re]:

Gradual School, thank goodness.

Suds McKenzie October 14, 2009 at 1:56 pm

[re=434532]comicbookguy[/re]: Revre!11

Terry October 14, 2009 at 1:57 pm

[re=434557]TexasSecessionist[/re]:

When I was there, if you looked down and avoided eye contact, the Corps of Cadets guys would come up behind you and YELL “howdy” in your ear to teach you courtesy.

qwerty42 October 14, 2009 at 1:58 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: chased with a sword??? wtf???

so did you wear that 1925 US Cavalry uniform (boots, sam browne and all) your senior year? quite the fashion statement.

drunkaholic October 14, 2009 at 1:58 pm

This is where birfers come to breed. And this is where intellect comes to die; check out their political forum…

beware: Reading this site WILL cause your brain to ooze out your tear ducts.

http://www.texags.com/main/forum.topic.asp?forum_id=16&days=5

Cheney Guevara October 14, 2009 at 2:00 pm

[re=434462]Zadig[/re]: Shock and gig.

Neilist October 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm

I see that A&M took down the post/response about “Showing respect by getting a new rope to HANG that nig . . . .”

But perhaps I’m confusing the post with the lyrics to the latest Toby Keith song?

Hooray For Anything October 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=434570]MLHencken[/re]: I think it’s up there with fighting a land war in Russia in terms of things not to do

[re=434494]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Considering W ran in part to avenge his father, you would have to say he was rather successful at it because W was such a dickish disaster as a President everybody now thinks that his dad wasn’t that bad.

RoscoePColtraine October 14, 2009 at 2:04 pm

How do institutions of higher learning, such as A&M, with a conservative student body handle subjects such as evolution and astronomy? I’ve always assumed the laughing-stock colleges like Regent and Liberty just tell the kids to bring their bibles to science class, but what of the “legit” schools? Are the faculty just as closed off as the kids?

blader October 14, 2009 at 2:06 pm

I’ve decoded Bush’s message:

Removing 11 of every 12 words, and doing a few other substitutions and deletions that are a bit too complicated to go into great detail at this moment, the message reads:

“Please don’t kill the nigger when he is here. Please.”

cashaholic October 14, 2009 at 2:06 pm

And here I thought the salutation for formal correspondence in Texas was “Howdy, _pardner_!”

blader October 14, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=434587]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
No, but their CV’s are constantly in circulation and they are permanently looking for better jobs.

DustBowlBlues October 14, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=434462]Zadig[/re]: “Gig ‘Em”

What are they, the A and M frogs? I didn’t think they even liked Frenchmen in Texas. Actually, I’m grateful for Texas because they make Oklahoma look less evil. We’re way smaller and don’t have nearly as many votes in the Electoral College, which is good for America.

Besides, Fuck Texas. I’d be cool on the whole place seceding, if I knew whether it would fuckup the OU/TX game.

TGY October 14, 2009 at 2:10 pm

‘Howdy’?

PsycGirl October 14, 2009 at 2:11 pm

…George H.W. Bush has “pulled a Notre Dame” and invited the terrible President…
I was certain that by “terrible president” you meant Dubya.
Oh, sarcasm, I think I read about that. Probably in Liberal Journalism 101.

germansteel October 14, 2009 at 2:13 pm

Don’t go, Barry. As soon as you open your mouth and start talking, you’ll remind them what a shitty education they’re getting and next thing you know, you’ll be accused of “who do you think you are, you uppity Presnit you?”

whatever_dc October 14, 2009 at 2:16 pm

oh dear! my brother — who is an alum of texas a&m — is not going to like having teh black dude speechifying at his alma mater!

cashaholic October 14, 2009 at 2:17 pm

[re=434576]drunkaholic[/re]: Holy Shit!

DustBowlBlues October 14, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: “College Station. Worst f’ing college town in America.”

Spoken like someone who has never been to Stillwater, OK.

SystemError October 14, 2009 at 2:20 pm

I did my freshman year of college at A&M, because believe it or not, they have a top notch engineering school. Once I realized I didn’t want to be an engineer, and I wanted to be Dee Dee Ramone instead, I left. I did meet a few like minded librul morans while I was there. They were kept locked away in the honors dorm where we could listen to Pavement, smoke cloves, and be pretentious assholes and away from the fake dress up soldiers assholes and cornpoke assholes whose move to College Station was a move to the “big city”.

For some reason, I haven’t been able to shake my college football allegiance from A&M, who’s chances for winning a national championship rank along the lines of Sarah Palin becoming president.

Prommie October 14, 2009 at 2:21 pm

[re=434587]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Same way they handle it at West Point, I think in academia students are universally loathed and they are alllll conservative now anyway. Among real universities, as opposed to Regent and Liberty and worst of all, Jim Jones, the cargo-cult schools, I think only Air Force has descended to the level of voodoo illiteracy.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 October 14, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=434605]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Eh, Stillwater ain’t that bad. Eskimo Joe’s is really overrated, though.

DustBowlBlues October 14, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=434526]sati demise[/re]: And stock up on lots of that new, designer bullet-proof material for everything the man wears. I want a Popemobil, I want him behind protective glass every minute. I want everyone who looks in his direction too long to be shot. I want a hundred Secret Service Agents who will throw themselves in front of him if anyone so much as farts.

Gibson should just say, “thank you, Bush-who-wasn’t-a-complete-moran, but there are too many crazy, heavily fuckers down there to risk it.”

Prommie October 14, 2009 at 2:24 pm

A&M also has an annual ritual bonfire of the heretics, a dark ages rite of enormous proportions, for which they construct an enormous tower of giant logs, telephone poles, which then collapses, killing dozens of A&M engineering students.

doxastic October 14, 2009 at 2:25 pm

Sigh, another person who should know better weirdly fights against standard capitalization. Only in Texas would you have to specify that The [sic] President is simultaneously “our President.” Consubstantiality is a bitch.

whatever_dc October 14, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=434593]DustBowlBlues[/re]: you know why Texas doesn’t fall into Mexico? because OKLAHOMA SUX!!!!

GO HORNS!!! HOOK ‘EM!!!

TexasSecessionist October 14, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=434574]Terry[/re]: That never happened to me, bastards. I did knowingly ride my bike once over the sacred grass outside the Student Union (nobody’s supposed to touch it, I think its special cuz its for the fallen soldiers or something). That caused quite a kerfuffle.

DustBowlBlues October 14, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=434624]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “heavily fuckers”

Heavily armed fuckers. Damn ragweed headache.

comicbookguy October 14, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=434562]Servo[/re]: And Barry will close his speech by saying, “C’mon. You’d do it for Randolph Scott.”

DustBowlBlues October 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=434545]V572625694[/re]: Isn’t the M for Mechanical? That’s what Oklahoma State was–I lasted a year there and, if you can believe it, the U of O looked great in comparison.

Oh, and for the OU/TX game? PISS ON THE LONGHORNS!! (picture that Hook ‘em horns hand gesture, but upside down.)

Texas is next to heaven? You bet. Because it’s next to Oklahoma. Why is OK windy? Because Kansas blows and Texas sucks.
Texas is God’s country, because only God would have it. How many Texans does it take to eat an armadillo? Two. One to eat and the other to watch for traffic.

I’m sure the wonkeratti looks on with befuddlement as two completely insane states hurl insults at each other.

PickneyPinchback October 14, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Community service my eye. Don’t you really mean communist servitude?

SystemError October 14, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=434656]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I think any Texas vs. OK argument can be easily settled with one simple phrase:

“3.2% Beer”

’nuff said.

AggieDemocrat October 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=434476]BadKitty[/re]: Yes, and it’s awesome.

I secretly am cringing because I know there’s bound to be some sort of wheels-off, racist, teabag shit that will go down when POTUS is there. Trust me, I’m one of the four liberals who has attended A&M in the last 133 years.

V572625694 October 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm

[re=434656]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Looks like you’re correct that it’s mechanical. Having gone to such a school (Purdue) myself, I’m aware of what it’s like: culturally empty, technically quite capable. Both schools did, I believe, require ROTC of every male undergrad at one time.

AggieDemocrat October 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: I was one of the last journalism majors. Class of ’98 here…

AggieDemocrat October 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=434545]V572625694[/re]: Actually, it stood for “mechanical”

smitallica October 14, 2009 at 2:44 pm

I work with plenty of Aggies. They’re a cult, plain and simple. THey’re basically Mormons with a shittier football team.

evan7257 October 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

GHWBush was a professor at Rice, in Houston. But nooo. No one ever goes there. We promise not to be racist!

Spiro Agnew October 14, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Popular young President goes to Texas in the Fall.

Hmmmm where have I heard this before……

problemwithcaring October 14, 2009 at 2:47 pm

[re=434656]DustBowlBlues[/re]: They all (land grant Uni’s) stand for Agricultural and Mechanical.

totoro October 14, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Since the last President presumably has time on his hands, inviting Obama to talk about public service, in Texas, is an elaborate way to tell his son, “I disown you and I will do anything to wash the profound stench of your failure from my own legacy.”

Spiro Agnew October 14, 2009 at 2:54 pm

May I add, having had something to do with both JFK and RFK’s deaths, if I were President Obama I would reconsider the trek…

tranch coat October 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]: As a fellow Two Percenter, I feel your pain. We should trade horror stories.

[re=434562]Servo[/re]: Ha! Back when A&M was all-male and all-military (i.e., the good old days), one of the innumerable stupid traditions was the “elephant walk” — a line of buzz-cut yahoos wandering campus, each one with his hands on the shoulders of the guy in front of him, pants pockets pulled out, ween dangling in the breeze. Once they started admitting girls, they had to put those things away. Women ruin everything!

HuddledMass October 14, 2009 at 2:57 pm

[re=434690]problemwithcaring[/re]: Not Agricultural and Mining? Well live and learn.

Memphis050505 October 14, 2009 at 2:58 pm

Uh, good luck w/that, George.

Way Cool Larry October 14, 2009 at 2:58 pm

I think we need some good Aggie jokes. Such as:

1. Did you her about the “Aggie” that drove his pickup into the lake?
His dog drowned while he was trying to get the tailgate down.

2. Did you hear about the “Aggie” who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

3. Why don’t “Aggies” eat barbecue beans?
They fall through the holes in the grill.

4. Why don’t “Aggies” use 911 in an emergency?
Because they can’t find “eleven” on the phone dial.

5. How many “Aggies” does it take to eat an armadillo?
Two. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

Memphis050505 October 14, 2009 at 3:03 pm

Why do aggies have tgif on the heels of their shoes?

“Toes Go In First.”

iolanthe October 14, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=434532]comicbookguy[/re]: You know “hearty” and “hardy” are different words, right?

And that the phrase was “party hearty” until folks who never read books (i.e. stupid drunk college students) got ahold of it?

And that you probably meant “hearty” in your post?

I know, I know. I suck. Sure. But yeesh.

Crab1 October 14, 2009 at 3:10 pm

George Bush is a RINO.

iolanthe October 14, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Aw, man … don’t do it, Obama!

I see many others here had the same first thought I did: It’s a trap.

mephistopheles jefferson October 14, 2009 at 3:14 pm

As a University of Texas alumnus, I must concur with those who deride and mock the Aggie spirit. Those fuckers were like a cult. They have this strange Aggie Corps, which actually thinks it’s a branch of the Armed Forces, and they haze underclassmen as if they were in high school. You can’t walk on the grass ANYWHERE on campus, because each blade is dedicated to the VETERANS OF OUR WARS. My freshman year we rushed the field at MEMORIAL STADIUM and those psychos tried to, I think, kill us.

Hook ‘em, fuckwads! OU SUCKS!

Zadig October 14, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=434670]SystemError[/re]: Seriously. I lived in Tulsa for a couple years, and on the whole it was a pretty decent place, but this shit, about the beer? INEXCUSABLE. Any state where I can’t walk into a bar and get a Fat Tire needs to be destroyed from orbit.

sagebrush October 14, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Prommie: “A&M also has an annual ritual bonfire of the heretics, a dark ages rite of enormous proportions, for which they construct an enormous tower of giant logs, telephone poles, which then collapses, killing dozens of A&M engineering students.”

It saves the time and effort of having to flunk them out of school. The ancient Romans would do something similar, putting the engineer who designed it underneath the bridge or aqueduct when the scaffolding was removed. It got rid of the bad engineers and explains why Roman bridges and aqueducts are still standing 2,000 years later.

Way Cool Larry October 14, 2009 at 3:25 pm

These are better:

21. Why don’t “Aggies” make good pharmacists?
They can’t get the pill bottles in the typewriter.

22.Did you hear what happened to the “Aggie” when he found out that 90%
of all accidents occur within 25 miles from home?
He moved.

24.What is the difference between an “Aggie” and Ricecrispies?
Ricecrispies know what to do in a bowl.

25.Did you hear about the “Aggie” who put snow tires on his car?
They melted.

26.How do you keep an “Aggie” in the shower all day?
Give him shampoo that says lather, rinse, repeat.

27.Why do “Aggies” keep their diplomas on their dash boards?
So they can park in the handicap zone.

29.Why did the “Aggie” get fired from the M&M plant as a quality control
inspector?
He kept throwing way the W&W’s!

30.What do “Aggies” think Cheerios are?
Donut seeds.

32.Did you hear about the power outage at the A&M library?
Forty “Aggies” where stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.

33.How do you know if an “Aggie” sent you a fax?
There’s a stamp on it.

34.What do you call 144 “Aggies”?
Gross Ignorance.

35.What did the “Aggie” graduate say to the UT graduate upon meeting?
Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order please?

disgustedcitizen October 14, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Obama would be wise to stay in DC. Remember the last time a Texan invited a Democratic President to Texas around this time of year. That did not go so well as I remember.

problemwithcaring October 14, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=434727]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: I read that as “Aggie Crips,” which is patently ridiculous as no Crip is this territorial.

DanG October 14, 2009 at 3:39 pm

There is a “gay = stupid” implication in sentence one. Being gay, of course this irritates. It reveals Wonkette being a “sloppy anti-gay” writer (i.e. the moral equivalent of “I’m sorry I’m such a shitty driver and I hit your car by mistake,” versus the “I’m sorry I put your car in my headlights and pressed on the gas” of obvious anti-gay remarks. End result largely the same, unfortunately. You are equating gay and stupid.

If this was reasonable, George W. Bush would be so gay. He’s not gay, and he’s an idiot.

On the other hand, I am gay, I am smart, and I am sassy to boot, especially in these fabulous pumps!

whatever_dc October 14, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Why did the Aggie jump off the Empire State Building?

He wanted to show his girlfriend he had gutts!

greensprout October 14, 2009 at 3:45 pm

I am assuming the people who are paying real US American dollars to attend the Bush School of Government have yet to realize they will eventually have to look prospective employers in the face and say “I went to the Bush school of government.”

Coke and carpetbombing for all!

comicbookguy October 14, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=434718]iolanthe[/re]: Yes, you suck. And are culturally deprived. Also.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CtGoTmhLGY

thefrontpage October 14, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Yo, what up, Bush I? Apparently, Bush I also invited Richard Harris, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, Buddy Hackett and Hubert Humphrey to come speak at the school, also.

Hey, Bush I–change the game, dawg!

bobtheflob October 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm

Did you hear about the guy who transferred from UT to A&M?
It doubled the IQ of both schools.

Did you hear about the aggie that got locked out of his car?
He spent two hours trying to get his wife and kids out!

There was an Aggie wanting to buy a new sheep, as his old one was getting worn out. He wasn’t sure how he was going to raise the $150 he needed. He decided that in order to raise the money he would kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. (He thought about robbing a pizza delivery boy, but that didn’t work out so well the last time).

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

The Aggie wrote a note saying “Eye stoled your kid. Toomarow morneng, put $150 in a papir bag and put it beeneeth the tree beye the slide at the pleygrownd. Sined, An Aggie.”

The Aggie then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Aggie checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Aggie opened up the bag and found the $150 with a note. The note said, “How cood won Aggie dew this too anuther Aggie?”

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Not only was the other young, popular American president in Texas in the fall — it was also a Friday.

badmuthagoose October 14, 2009 at 5:12 pm

A&M doesn’t officially stand for anything anymore, though it did used to be Agricultural and Mechanical.

“Gig ‘em” comes from the 1930s, when they were about to play the TCU Horned Frogs and the president or head coach of A&M (can’t remember which) yelled out to the student body at yell practice “GIG ‘EM AGS!” When you kill a frog, you “gig” it. It involves their asshole. I will not elaborate further.

The phrase stuck, obviously.

I attended from 88 to 93 and hold a degree from the place. I was a flaming liberal the entire time and going there only solidified my political views, though it was tough going back then (I understand now Aggie Democrats OPENLY wear shirts declaring such while walking across campus–that would have been an invitation to fight back in the day).

I was there recently for a football game and this impossibly old white guy Aggie (class of 17 or something?) held up an Obama sign and a bullhorn and started yelling about how “AGGIELAND IS OBAMA LAND!” I was shocked, pleased and worried for his personal safety all at the same time. I was the only one who cheered him. When I saw other old guys move really menacingly toward him, I looked at my husband who said “do what you gotta do” and then walked over to defend him. Turns out the other old guys were drunk and could do no more than cuss and spit on the ground, so not much defending needed.

June Cleaver 2.0 October 14, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=434484]mullingitover[/re]: Don’t say that! I’ve been praying for Clarence Thomas to have a heart attack. Now you’re trying to give me one.

badmuthagoose October 14, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=434587]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Those things are studied at A&M.

It’s really only politically conservative, not as much socially or academically (though the whole journalism department thing still sucked balls). The student body engages in LOADS AND LOADS of pre-marital sex (seriously–College Station at one time had one of the highest rates of chlamydia of any college in the nation, not sure if that is still true–and that was back when Planned Parenthood was allowed to be in the Memorial Student Center cold handing out condoms right and left–they were banished to Bryan, Texas several years later).

They engage in lots of drinking as they do at any university and some considerable drug use, though alcohol is primarily the drug of choice.

I was an English major getting my secondary teaching certification and lemme tell ya, those English and education professors were hugely liberal–probably more so than they would have been normally because of being in such an environment. Many a professor invited their students to his home for some…smoking, film-watching, and radical talk and such. I’ll never forget one professor from Northwestern, who railed the first day of class against our campus statues, which are local and state heroes. “MOST UNIVERSITIES PAY TRIBUTE TO SOCRATES, PLATO, THE GREAT THINKERS, BUT NO, NOT HERE! NOT IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN PLACE! YOU’VE GOT SOME BASTARD CALLED SUL ROSS! WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT?” I kid you not. I fell in love with the guy right then and there. We all sat very politely listening to him rant. I guess A&M wasn’t exactly his first choice of teaching assignments.

badmuthagoose October 14, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Oh wait, I see Obama has accepted? And it’s day after tomorrow? Dang. Not enough time for me to be able to get off work and see him.

I guarantee you the audience will be polite as hell and every liberal who exists at A&M, both student and faculty, will be there.

And there will be some sort of small protests held very very very far away from his speaking place. Many Aggies will write in to the student newspaper decrying his presence.

And then life will go on.

Whatever Blows Your Skirt October 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=434491]Terry[/re]:Having spent ~17 years in TX (off and on) and 7 this stretch i would say that pretty much describes most TXicans. UT may smoke pot but there are a lot of good old TXicans there too.

[re=434507]mardam422[/re]: I second that!

[re=434529]freakishlystrong[/re]: oh Austin ain’t all THAT special, i would say (generally) Houston is better, just not a “weird.”

[re=434532]comicbookguy[/re]: and [re=434534]mardam422[/re]: i think you covered the typical TXican reaction.

Whatever Blows Your Skirt October 14, 2009 at 5:58 pm

opps forgot,

Howdy. Also.

Whatever Blows Your Skirt October 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm

[re=434656]DustBowlBlues[/re]: teh thing is even those of us that get it smile snidely…

elocin2402 October 14, 2009 at 6:24 pm

The person who wrote this letter makes me ashamed to have the A&M degree hanging on the wall. My only consolation is that hopefully the author’s ignorance stems from his education outside of the university.

DustBowlBlues October 14, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=434730]Zadig[/re]: “but this shit, about the beer? INEXCUSABLE”

OK became a state in 1907. Partially at the insistence of the Indian Chiefs, who had hoped to make easter OK their own state, prohibition was written into the state constitution. Therefore, the legislature couldn’t change the liquor laws.

Later (I think the 1950s) the legislature passed a law defining 3.2 beer as non-intoxicating beverage. My hand to God. Another in the annals of an inherently state but, sadly, most of the okies don’t get the joke. The liquor laws were changed twice, each time by a ballot measure.

First time a young English friend visited and went out for a beer he took one sip, looked up and said, “Seriously?” but in really cool, estuary English kind of way.

Bearbloke October 14, 2009 at 7:26 pm

[re=434484]mullingitover[/re]: Wasn’t Kennedy similar in age and politics to Obama? Wasn’t LJB similar in age and politics to Biden? Didn’t LBJ have similar ideas regarding the impending war as Biden does regarding the currently impending war(s) against Iran, Pakistan and Afghanistan?

Hmmmm…. I don’t thing America could survive a replay of similar circumstances… Please cancel the trip, Barry!!!!

drunkaholic October 14, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=434672]AggieDemocrat[/re]: 5 counting me. class of 98 too!

badmuthagoose October 14, 2009 at 8:02 pm

Class of 92 here. Lookee, all three of us are here on the Wonkette.

LowerdPeninsula October 14, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Texas and Democratic presidents don’t mix, especially when invited down by Texas politicians of any stripe. Don’t go; it’s a trap! Either that, or a curse.

Violenza October 14, 2009 at 8:21 pm

Hey, on the bright side, maybe this just means Obama’s officially part of the Establishment now that he’s down w/GH Dubbs!

octupletsmom October 14, 2009 at 9:10 pm

[re=434672]AggieDemocrat[/re]: Aw, I went and had a bunch of friends who were libtards, as were a bunch of my professors. And I met my BFF there, who is black, and she never complained of ill treatment there (and we went Back In The Day). She married a white boy there, and STILL never complained of ill treatment. Sure, they had sense and moved to Austin after they got their degrees and all, but they took plenty of time in getting those degrees (we went when tuition was a pittance, and lots of us took a long time to get degrees).

It’s true that it’s culturally creepy, but I learned to get a kick out of being in the righteous minority. We were a small but tight group–hell, we still are, even scattered.

TXAggie October 14, 2009 at 11:29 pm

I am a current student at Texas A&M University, and just to let all the ignorant people know, EVERYONE at Texas A&M is not small minded like you may think. Also, to answer someone’s question asking “If the professors are as closed off as the kids?” My professors have been from all around, many of them actually being liberal.

pat robertsons personal trainer October 15, 2009 at 10:58 am

[re=434484]mullingitover[/re]: H.W. has still not fully explained his whereabouts on 11/22/63.

pat robertsons personal trainer October 15, 2009 at 11:11 am

[re=434694]totoro[/re]: he’s been doing that since he buddied up to Clinton (his smart son). now he & babs want to be the old bradgenlina and have a black (& smart) son too.

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