• May 26, 2012
DAILY BRIEFING

October 14, 2009

There’s… Literally An Opportunity To Capitalize On Your Oregon Trail Faceobok Group Membership

by Juli Weiner  

  • JPMorgan Chase reported $3.6 billion profits for the third quarter. This is one of those folkloric “good economic news” stories! [New York Times]
  • Now that Obama (& Olympia Snowe!) have defeated Chuck Grassley, Baucus, etc., he must now combat Big Health Insurance Lobby. [Washington Post]
  • There’s a second gold rush, except it’s a rare minerals rush, happening right now in California’s Mojave Desert. Go west, young man. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Hillary Clinton yelled at America and Russia for running around like this is still the Cold War. It’s not, apparently, was her point. [CNN]
  • Exciting job opening! Lots of potential for growth: Rep. Robert Wexler of Florida has quit and taken a job at Center for Middle East Peace and Economic Cooperation.
  • McChrystal is worried that all corruption in Afghanistan might basically cancel out the work that new troops could (will) be doing over there. [AP]

{ 28 comments }

Cape Clod October 14, 2009 at 8:56 am

Bummer about Wexler. Must have been all those hookers and blow.

hobospacejunkie October 14, 2009 at 8:58 am

I will await Matt Taibbi’s explanation of how this really shouldn’t count as profit for JPMChase.

It appears our Ken Layne has chosen exactly the wrong time to take leave of the Mojave Desert.

I assume we can expect word of former Rep. Wexler’s kid-diddling any moment now. Or at least word of his impending bankruptcy. Kid-diddling would be preferable, apart from how it involves younglings.

It’s a little late in the day to be worrying about corruption in Afghaniland, McCrystalPepsi, you fuckwit.

norbizness October 14, 2009 at 8:59 am

New AP Headline: Indiscriminate Bombing of Afghan Civilians by Robot Planes, Entire Campaign Run by Headline-Grabbing Cover-up Artist concern Corporal Norbizness.

MattW October 14, 2009 at 9:00 am

Of course the Mojave Mineral Rush had to start while Layne is wandering along Pismo Beach. Call him back! A little lanthanum could keep Wonkette going for years.

glamourdammerung October 14, 2009 at 9:07 am

Nice to see McChrystal is concerned about Afghanistan now after undermining the President.

bluehenken October 14, 2009 at 9:10 am

What’s a Faceobok?

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 14, 2009 at 9:11 am

*ahem* Big Heath Insurance Lobby? *ahem*

/grammar Nazi

JMP October 14, 2009 at 9:17 am

Hillary Clinton … admonished those in the U.S. and Russian governments who haven’t moved beyond a Cold War mentality. She then covered her mouth and let out an odd cough, that sounded like she was saying “McCain”.

ManchuCandidate October 14, 2009 at 9:17 am

Yay, bank profits! With the joy of trickle down, those down and out Ferrari and Yacht salesmen will have happy days again!!!

MattW October 14, 2009 at 9:21 am

[re=434133]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Um, that’s not a grammar error, it’s a spelling error. Ahem, also.

/Nazi

BadKitty October 14, 2009 at 9:24 am

[re=434135]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I believe it is spelled “tinkle down”

freakishlystrong October 14, 2009 at 9:29 am

Thank God Olympia Snowe worked so tirelessly to fuck up the health care reform bill so we could cum together and call in “bi-partisan”. Yes, no mention of all the heavy lifting Democrats have done in the run-up to this horseshit.

hobospacejunkie October 14, 2009 at 9:35 am

Godammit I hope this health care fiasco doesn’t short-circuit Barney Frank’s efforts to re-regulate finance. There is nothing more odious in these times of 17% real unemployment (apart from war) than obscene bank profits. Because those bank profits will go into the back pockets of the very people responsible for the 17% unemployment.

freakishlystrong October 14, 2009 at 9:37 am

[re=434139]freakishlystrong[/re]: “it”. “yet”

/IdiotNazi

TGY October 14, 2009 at 9:41 am

[re=434132]bluehenken[/re]: It means ‘to get obok all over your face’, hence it’s another variant of ‘BJ’.

Terry October 14, 2009 at 9:59 am

[re=434132]bluehenken[/re]:
“What’s a Faceobok?”

Type of African gazelle.

Aflac Shrugged October 14, 2009 at 10:01 am

I’d like [re=434140]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Socialism is bad, the worst of all possible things. Feudalism, on the other hand, is apparently okay.

Aflac Shrugged October 14, 2009 at 10:05 am

[re=434174]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Typographical errors, incidentally, are awesome.

S.Luggo October 14, 2009 at 10:31 am

[re=434126]Cape Clod[/re]:
That’s elderly Jewish hookers from the Miami Beach and the so-called blow is Motzah meal.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1282088.html

Rep. Wexler: The Nobel Committee awarded the job at the Center for Middle East Peace and Economic Cooperation to Barry, undeserving though he may be.

DangerousLiberal October 14, 2009 at 10:32 am

[re=434132]bluehenken[/re]: It’s a social networking site for animals that kind of look like gazelles, in Africa, also.

S.Luggo October 14, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=434135]ManchuCandidate[/re]: A round of Sterno on me.

donner_froh October 14, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=434133]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I had a big Heath Bar for breakfast. Better than cereal but not as good as whiskey.

proudgrampa October 14, 2009 at 11:09 am

Where do I sign up for Faceobok? Is that anything like Twirtte?

MARCdMan October 14, 2009 at 11:35 am

[re=434129]MattW[/re]: For real, having an editor that pretty much lives there would position this war-and-assfucking blog for perpetual success.

MzNicky October 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Great news about JPMorgan Chase! Now they can pay the gubbmint back for those bailout loans, right? Right?

zenferret October 14, 2009 at 12:56 pm

[re=434133]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: So its eaten too much and put on a little weight, why go all Nazi?

bitchincamaro October 14, 2009 at 3:03 pm

[re=434128]norbizness[/re]: Thanks for the link. I’d not seen that before.

LowerdPeninsula October 14, 2009 at 7:25 pm

Isn’t it kind of funny how McChrystal was screaming bloody murder for new troops, and then we find out that he doesn’t believe the new troops can make a difference, anyway, because of the corruption? Isn’t there some moral compass thingy in the military where you only call for more warring (i.e. the inevitable death of more American troops) if you believe the price is worth it? So, let me get this straight, he’s calling for more troops to fight a war he’s not sure if we could win, anyway?

Sorry, it’s time to fire his ass. His drama queenery has got to stop. It’s really too bad, because he seemed like a decent, competent guy when they promoted him.

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