Wonkette
Stray boys and cats are already camping outside of Target in hopes of procuring a SARAH PALIN NAUGHTY ALASKAN MAID HALLOWEEN COSTUME (one size fits all). Complete with a moose pelt mini skirt, an apron/Twitter feed, a GOP debit card and a boner-inducing book deal, industry analysts predict the nipple-hardening Alaskan get-up will be an easier sell than IRAQI WMDS! …
Culinary Jeebus WOLFGANG PUCK is known for his illustrious cuisine, but did you also know that his Asian-fusion restaurant The Source practically won the Nobel Peace Prize? Not to be curt, but it’s simply an Obamination that the Norwegian Nobel Committee overlooked RAEKWON THE CHEF, who serves up the hottest dishes in all of Shaolin …
BEGUILING SMALL TALK: Chairman of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ADMIRAL MIKE MULLEN wished the UNITED STATES NAVY a very happy 234th birthday using special sailor talk: “234 years as a force for good. Happy Bday Shipmates! Thx 2 all U.S. Navy Sailors, except 4 the faggots.” … REP. DAVID WU (D-OR) drives an enormous automobile that could easily fit the entire state of Oregon, JOHN BOEHNER’S inflatable tanning salon, PAUL BUNYAN and all his many pancakes and still have plenty of room for baby strollers and bottles of water and soccer gear or whatever …
Hitler’s prom date NANCY PELOSI is encouraging Congressional offices to place unwanted INTERNS and other refuse in a compost, instead of the usual dumpster behind the Library of Congress. Nancy thinks Green.
Riley Waggaman’s WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com
Well, it’s better than the Pantless Naughty Fred Astaire costume you’ve been sporting these last several months.
234 years? The Navy doesn’t look a day over 200.
Scary, huh kids?
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/sarah-palin-mask/
http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/sarah-palin-kit/
Is product number 15678 “Retarded Baby” included, or does it have to be purchased separately?
SARAH PALIN NAUGHTY ALASKAN MAID HALLOWEEN COSTUME
She can see the dust bunnies from her house.
This will surely provide “stiff” competition to Super K-Mart’s Halloween costume cum-on sale of a Michelle Bachman Census worker slasher motif, accessorized with “life”-like partial-birth aborted babies and unBirther certificates.
Nanzi Pelosi encourages the proper disposal of unwanted pregnancies in the congressional compost, also.
Save your money. If the woman’s not already sexy, that “naughty” costume isn’t going to help one fucking bit.
Fucking Swedish Chef had it goin’ on, all along!
germansteel:
HeHeHe.
So the Sarah Palin costume is just a reworked “slutty flight attendant” get-up?
From the GOP comments:
Maria:
OK Becky… You call someone “deranged” then finish off your post saying “Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!” Complete with numerous exclamations points.
That time of the month, sweetie?
October 13, 2009 8:14 PM
gjdodger said…
OK, “Maria”…you call a woman “Sweetie”. That time of the election cycle, Crossdresser?
This is some Wonkette-worthy commenting.
Michelle Bachman has undoubtedly papered her carpet with Palin photos, so she can stomp on and puncture them with stiletto heels - “I was supposed to be the French maid!”
Monsieur Grumpe: I can’t wear those masks because they are soooo HOT.
Color me disappointed, Riley. What do you mean Sarah’s costume doesn’t have a strap-on Baby Trig that would fit perfectly over the costume wearer’s naughty bits? For shame!
queeraselvis v 2.0:
Bristols costume has that particular attachment.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Sheesh, that’s a tad harsh, I meant product number 15677– “Down Syndrome Baby With Fangs”.
I think I click through and read these posts mostly because of Riley’s be-top-hatted picture. It’s just so adorable.
No homo.
This outstanding feature would be even better if read aloud by Danny DeVito.
If the U.S. Navy went back to “rum, sodomy, and the lash” they’d probably have more right-wingers enlisting.
“Hitler’s prom date”
Bwahahaha!!!1!
As for Pelosi’s banana fetish, I vote “yea”. Run that bitch, Nancy! Run that bitch like they are about to take it away from you. Because, WWHD (What Would Hitler Do?), right?
Oh, and Representative Wu should be the subject of a recall, not because he’s expediating the destruction of the entire world forevah, but because he chose the ugliest of domestic auto industry’s boats to do it with. Hell, if you’re going to do it, get a fucking Hummer, Excursion, Tahoe or Yukon. Better yet, get a stylish Cadillac Escalade. Gah, don’t you know how to properly and fashionably annihilate a planet?
LowerdPeninsula: Meh. Wu = Asian = small penis = SUV driver. Doesn’t matter which SUV, really, they’re all butt ugly.
Chinese SUV buyers are the only reason GM is still up and running. And god bless ‘em. Elsewise thousand of babies in olde Detroit would starve. Let’s hope the Chevy Volt will be the next penis-extender of the fashionable moneyed set.
TGY: After 60 days at sea, you, too, might find someone in a Sarah Palin costume attractive.
Lascauxcaveman: Don’t know if you heard, but the domestics are making (and have been for a few years now) their money off of honest-to-goodness pick-ups, not those tarted-up faux-trucks (SUVs). But, yes, let us pray for the sake of the planet (and the running punchline that has become the State of Michigan) that the Volt extends it’s popularity beyond the Prius set and that GM doesn’t set the price so high that they doom it to an early death. To me, that’ll be the sign of whether GM’s really changed or not.
I ate at “The Source” once. Never again. There were eight of us and the bill was over $2000. If you put all eight dishes together a field mouse would have gone away hungry. I was so hungry, I ate the garnish. But the biggest insult was when walking down the stairs after dinner, my stomach rumbling, I passed a guy at the bar with a plate full of BBQ spare ribs. My wife had to keep me from stealing the guy’s plate.
GeneralLerong: Indeed, and here’s the proof of her annoyance
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/15/us/politics/15bachmann.html