Wonkette
- Introducing: Lip gloss that transforms into a secret date rape drug test kit! Hallelujah! Now you can let that Republican Senator buy you thousands of Flirtinis. Ah, peace of mind. [The Daily Dish]
- Rush Limbaugh can only tell the truth because his son wished it so, when he blew out his birthday candles. Wikiquotes, on the other hand … lies lies lies. [RedState]
- Will Matt Yglesias be able to use his Flux Capacitor to go back in time and prevent himself from reading Infinite Jest? No one knows. [Matt Yglesias]
- The RNC has found new footage that suggests Hitler spent his last days in the Führerbunker pouting about Nancy Pelosi and her shared vision of an Aryan public option. [TPM]
- What will the ’10s be like? Will it be a fun decade? Maybe roller skates will have a comeback? Or will we regress into anarchy and burn tires in the cobblestone streets and eat space ice cream for nourishment? [AMERICAblog]
Yay, if rollerskates make a comeback then maybe people will finally realize what a great classic film Xanadu is.
Ol’ Nance is starting to look more and more like a doberman…
Rush Limbaugh can only tell the truth because his son wished it so,
OMG…do you mean to say that Rush actually reproduced? Isn’t that a violation of international law or something?
Hey man, I like anarchy, burning tires and space ice cream…
Yeah, but why would 14 year-old boys have lip gloss?
I’m prepared for the 2010s. I have hockey pads and leather jacket as I drive the wasteland armed with a shotgun and my trusty Australian Sheep Dog as I kill humans and steal their food. Or things will go smashing and I’ll have a slutoween costume for the next 5 years.
WELLITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME!
I was finally able to get on G[showusyourfuckface]P.com long enough to grab a screenshot and start some desecrating (even though it appears that all “ha-ha” was used up awhile ago).
Sooo, if anyone still gives a shit, you can get a clean G[face]P template—as well as a G[ken]P pic and more—right HERE.
Hoofuckingray.
OzoneTom: Citizen Kane couldn’t hold a candle to that masterpiece.
assistant/atlas: It would be foolish to ignore the Sex Pistols, Grand Master Flash and Buzz Aldrin demographic, wouldn’t it?
OpusOne: Write: I won’t make a GOP joke, I won’t make a GOP joke, I won’t make a GOP joke, one hundred times on the blackboard.
Oh, gack. The only thing more out of touch with the netroots than gop.com (other than people who use the term netroots, of course) is people who think any parody of “Downfall” equals comparison to Nazism. Do not Godwin “Downfall,” libtards.
RedState…RedState…are these the same goose-stepping motherfuckers (literally - I hear Erick Erickson is related to Hitler and raped his mom’s butt in 2000) who said that, even though the Obama birth certificate Orly Taitz quite obviously produced using Office 2007 was fake, it might be real, and we don’t have any proof Barack Obama WASN’T born in Kenya?
Anyhoo…yes, now that Rush wants to get close to as many muscular men in spandex with access to drugs for sports injuries as possible, he’s denying ever saying anything disparaging about black people. But he did admit to saying every composite drawing of a criminal suspect looks like Jesse Jackson and that he once told a black man (maybe, but not necessarily Barack Obama calling from his witch doctor’s office in Haiti) to “take the bone out” of his nose:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/limbaugh.asp
Can RedState have it’s head any further up it’s ass? They’re arguing that the media is unfairly painting Rush Limbaugh as a racist because of a couple of wikiquotes and sourceless web articles. Hey RedState, it’s called YOUTUBE. Your man makes a living talking on the radio and teevee.
“We realized it was in poor taste and pulled it down… I don’t want anyone to think we’re comparing Democrats to Nazis and to Hitler.”
Right — because nothing would put a damper on your comparisons of Democrats to Hitler than people thinking that’s what you’re doing.
Nancy Pelosi got Deathless Frenzy, so it doesn’t even matter.
I don’t know about space ice cream but if we have to eat crickets remember one study has already demonstrated that sweet crickets taste better than bitter crickets. At least to lizards.
Extemporanus: “In a highly unusual move, the Labor Department issued its first ever report detailing a drop in workplace productivity in a single 24-hour period. Spokesman for the Department justified the release on the basis of a ‘historic’ decline in productivity that began at roughly 6:14 p.m. on October 13. In apparently unrelated news, projections of fourth quarter earnings for PhotoShop have soared today…”
shadowMark: Ah, sweet memories of Oaxaca.
Geeze people, Rush never said he had anything against Black quarterbacks. He just really, really likes white quarterbacks. I predict Redstate will have to publish an apology for its inadequate defense of Rush in a day or two.
Extemporanus: It was worth it. You’re well on your way to the Golden “iPhone”. This inspires me to start climbing the steep, oxygen depleted, learning curve of K2, blingee, photoshop hilarity.
This was really not a snarky, witty reply, it was more like a beta test reply, so go ahead, make fun of me.
That video is actually kinda funny. And well done. Whoever put that together should have been the go-to guy for the new GOP website!!
Min: No, Limby has no children. You can’t reproduce from the buttsechs.
user-of-owls: Hey, these rats ain’t gonna fuck themselves, right?
PoignancySelz: Thanks.
But considering the level of my Photoshop skills, I’d be happy to win a Golden Shower. The first desecration I ever did was that one of Palin cradling Ken—give it shot, and I’m guessing you’ll be hooked in no time.
I will now make fun of your snarkless, witless reply behind your back, where you can’t see what I’m typing…
Doesn’t Mush have enough problems wanting to be a minority owner?
“What will the ’10s be like? Will it be a fun decade? Maybe roller skates will have a comeback? Or will we regress into anarchy and burn tires in the cobblestone streets and eat space ice cream for nourishment?”
I predict Spam (the meat simulacrum), frequently, like when I was growing up. Perhaps only black & white TV with hand-wired circuits, produced one-at-a-time by the 5 old people who are the last survivors of the crew who made the last Zenith TV, after China breaks out in civil war and their printed circuit board factories are turned into ruins. And children will have to play outside, because the power supply will brown-out frequently, crashing the video games. In other words, regress to a pretty good situation.
Riley…back to college, now! we can’t “regress” to a state (anarchy) that we have never been in.
Also, how will Sully get dates post-gloss????
Here is all you need to know about Boss BlunderRush. I heard it myself, on the radio - no wiki, no web, no Internets, no borrowed quotes.
It convinced me - if I needed it - that he is one of the biggest jerks of all time, as Kanye is fond of pointing out.
In late 1963, on the day of President Kennedy’s funeral, Mrs. Kennedy held a White House birthday party for their son John, Jr. Now, any reasonable human being can imagine what it took for her to pull herself together on such a day to accomplish this. Actually, most of us probably can’t accurately imagine - but at least we can try.
What did the great humanitarian Boss BlunderRush have to say about this extraordinary event?
Just that it proved Mrs. Kennedy didn’t love her late husband.
I ask you - is there anything else you would possibly care to know about that horrid amalgam of pond scum?
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OzoneTom: When I was a very small child I loved loved loved Olivia Newton-John & that stupid song Xanadu. Never saw the movie, though, so I got to keep my balls & grow to be a man. Who will now search the internet for a copy of that song so I can listen, dissolve into a blubbery crying jag & replay my wasted life.
Extemporanus: It’s amateurish, as I only have MS Paint and am not good at this kind of thing; but you can get the idea:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2631/4009481021_7c30b757e1.jpg
Lazy Media: I would say comparing Pelosi to Hitler counts as comparing Pelosi to Hitler.
ManchuCandidate: Actually, I’m holding out for straw boaters and the WCTU and 14 points and an unfortunate shooting in Sarajevo, also.
Oh, shit. Sorry. I was either channeling the 1910s. Or the 1990s.
All is not lost for Republican officeholders. In addition to that unfortunate bit about the date rape lip gloss, there is also news of a teddy bear spiked with controlled-release aromatherapy and soothing music which can put the little ones to sleep. Just give one as a gift to the Lolita (or Ganymede) of your choice, and her (or his) sweet dreams will soon lead to you fulfilling yours.
ManchuCandidate: WIN!! now you got me rethinking my Slutoween costume.
Well there is always Rohypnol. I’d totally rufie Andrew Sullivan, grrr.
Ok, I really wouldn’t.
…mit dem Führer…mit DEM Führer!!!
Declension is next to godliness.
Can someone please give Riley his own show, or intertube, or intraweb, or whatever?