Michael Steele you have got to stop it with the funny today, we can’t take much more. NO NO DON’T GO ON TV! Oh no he’s going to say something too hilarious! Uh oh: “It’s a new platform for us. It’s not even really a web site.” No! A website is *exactly* what it is! This is too much. Let’s read some arbitrary news outlet to get away from all this, it doesn’t matter which… ah, New York Daily News, as good a choice as any, let’s see what’s in the ollll’ NYDN“GOP Posts Password, Admin Instructions on New Web Site.” GAHH. [TPM, NYDN]

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  • Sharkey

    You need better than a 386 to run a website these days. Who knew?

  • memzilla

    What’s worse, all the GOP carrier pigeons have the Bird AIDS.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh man — if their site is ever more than a network error message, I’m going to have some fun.

  • imissopus

    He is just too adorable.

  • Enturbulate

    Since it loads all ass-backwards it’s the PERFECT website for the GOP. Steele FAIL. Again.

  • Country Club Jihadi

    It’s more like a Splatform.

  • schvitzatura

    Zero Bothans died to bring us this information.

    It’s so full of WIN!

  • snideinplainsight

    Maybe he should twitter something to discuss his appearance on the teevee to respond to reporting on his not-a-website.

  • gurukalehuru

    Michael Steele should get a Nobel fail prize. Yeah, Michael!

  • Suds McKenzie

    yeah, that’s what the GOP needs, a “new tool”.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    Michael Steele is not even really a black man. Or a man. He is a Dreyfussbot 3000, a rogue machine engineered during Richard Dreyfuss’s heyday. Michael Steele, a.k.a DBot3000.176XR, is characterized by his overactive pigment chip and penchant for unintelligible verball diarrhea. He is considered robo-armed and extremely embarrassing.

  • bored with gravity

    Steele’s not even really black. And the Republicans are really even a party anymore. And I’m not really that bored with gravity, now that I think about it.

  • Noodle Salad

    The GOP does everything in a humiliatingly public beta fashion. “the kinks have to get worked out.” Just like the Iraq War, Sarah Palin, the Contract with America, foreign diplomacy, etc. Heckuva job, GOP web designerz.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Apparently “The Intertubes for Dummies” is too high level even for Steele.

    As a telecom engineer, I recommend that the GOP forget that whole intertubes, wireless or even old wireline phones (and certainly no Jitterbug phones) and look into “Tin Cans with String” technology as it is more their, er, speed.

  • Snookums

    It’s not a website. It’s It’s a beta site, but it’s not a really a site, it’s just a beta website at Don’t you ass-wholes understand?

  • snideinplainsight

    “ is officially recruiting volunteer coders to work with our API. If you write in PHP (the base code of Facebook), and develop applications that we approve of and use at, you will be eligible to join the Founder’s Club, the team that starts-up the first open API effort for any major political party. Members of the Founder’s Club will enjoy direct access to the RNC’s new media and technology teams, product previews and will also visit regularly with RNC Chairman, Michael Steele. For instructions on how to access our sandbox,” […]


  • Native of SL UT

    This is not really a website. It is more like a billboard painted on your computer monitor. Our a magazine page transmitted through magic tubes with electrons and stuff.

  • JMP

    “It’s not a house”, said Judas Priest
    “It’s not a house, it’s a home”

  • Downtheroadapiece

    Oh me. Oh my, this made me giggle.

  • Chumley

    What, he’s a French Surrealist now? Ceci n’est pas une website.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Like most conservatives who go on the teevee to talk about the intertubes, Steele probably has no fucking idea what a web site actually is. Or a platform.

  • geminisunmars

    [re=433625]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: Nice.

    And that’s what we need, another webshit.

  • Mustang

    Oh man. This reminds me of when the fat girl who has a huge crush on the asshole jock and the asshole jock finds out and he and his asshole buddies makes oinking noises when she walks by and she says she never really liked him anyway. This was never really a website anyway, was it Michael? Oh, man.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    plat⋅form –noun
    a place for public discussion; forum. (Like on your website, ya choad?)

    Or maybe he meant ‘a decklike construction on which the drill rig of an offshore oil or gas well is erected’.

  • Native of SL UT

    “Republican faces need yours”
    What the fuck does that even mean?

  • Saxby Coburg

    I kept getting a PHP error message. But PHP is free, public domain (socialist!) software designed by some sort of Marxist Danish guy. Why does the GOP hate capitalism so much?

  • PrairiePossum

    I suspect their IT Dept. consists of Larry the Cable Guy, Joe the Plumber, a role of duct tape, some aluminum foil and a bible.

  • Dave J.

    [re=433631]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: I’ve been saying forever that “Michael Steele” is actually Larry David doing some Borat-level gonzo performance art.

  • bureaucrap

    If only the GOP website featured a walk on greeting by Jeebus. That would get my vote.

  • Enturbulate

    The “I’m a Republican because…” part of the Republican Faces thingy is hysterical. “I’m a Republican because I lack any real knowledge of what the party is about. I really like buzz words like ‘family values’ but I lack the understanding to realize the GOP is taking away my power to live an even marginally decent life by redistributing all the wealth to the top 1% or less of the population and giving all real power to corporations only concerned with their own profits.”
    Good times!

  • EdFlinstone

    Suprisingly, the website is clear as a whistle on Skoalrebels commodore 64.

  • polar_bear

    I went to the site and it simply loaded a blank white page. It certainly is a very creative way to illustrate the general orientation of the GOP.

  • problemwithcaring

    Skoalrebel has a better grasp of the internet than these fools.

  • bureaucrap

    “a new tool to communicate the new GOP” — in other words, it was programmed by some overweight white guy in Toledo while he was drinking his PBR and cleaning his AK-47.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=433630]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Nice.

  • Tommmcatt

    “It’s a new GOP”

    OH! The NEW Grand OLD Party!

    It’s like getting your virginity back !

  • Atheist Nun

    It’s a floor wax and a dessert topping!

  • MOG

    Just keep repeating, “this is not a Web site, this is not a Web site”. It’s not a Web site until Michael says it is. So there!

  • SenatePage

    I adore the fact that under “accomplishments” 2003 Operation Iraqi Freedom is listed without a hint of irony. Oh, and that apparently the last GOP “accomplishment” was in 2004.

  • teebob2000

    MS, no, don’t say it!! I’ve laughed too much today already at your monumental fails!!!


    *choke choke*

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=433618]Sharkey[/re]: But, they even paid extra to have that “math chip” installed. And they lost the receipt.

  • Red Zeppelin

    [re=433642]Chumley[/re]: Belgian surrealist. I know– I used up my pedant quota for the week and its only Tuesday.

  • rev_matt_y

    [re=433649]Saxby Coburg[/re]: I am genuinely surprised that they aren’t running on some kind of .Net solution, big business and all that.

  • snideinplainsight

    PHP has encountered an Access Violation at 7C82A01A

    This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no fooling around …

  • EdFlinstone

    The GOP IT department has obviously not been praying hard enough.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=433652]Dave J.[/re]: You say David, I say Dreyfuss, the world’s a meshuggenah place!

  • The Cold Sea

    Hollah, GOP! What up, my nizzles?! Gettin’ funky like an ol’ mess a collard greens! Suburban-Urban hip hop flavah, stove top style right atchah!

  • TheJerkStoreCalled

    I would go there but I’m afraid of teh compuder trojan AIDS.

    And what the fuck is a “republican engineer or coder”? Do they have, like, different schools? Can html, you know… trickle down?

  • Oldskool

    He wants to “take this party to the streets”? So he’s having a party and his non-website is for invites? Or, he’s taking the Republican Part to the streets Doobie Brothers style? He’s so not on his game today.

  • Crank Tango

    well, it’s cool cuz the GOP isn’t even a party. It’s more like a movement, a steamy, corn-studded movement.

  • god.was.stingy

    “We’re taking this party to the streets, which is why we’re launching a website.” [re=433618]Sharkey[/re]: Pfft.; a 386? Ballin’ shot callahs like Michael ‘Tha Steal’ Steele use only the finest of TRS-80s. But they might better spend their time doing some actual work, instead of playing Dungeons of Daggorath for hours on end.

  • JMP

    Don’t worry about the security problems, either; didn’t really post the administrator’s password, it posted the access code.

  • ManchuCandidate

    GOP 2009 Accomplishment:

    Created the best laugh on teh Web since LOLcatz.

  • slappypaddy

    the repeatedly demonstrated disjunction with reality is the central defining characteristic of the republican party, as it has been for the past half-century or so. occasionally during that time they have gotten lucky and have achieved what may pass for a while as success, but their resting state has been that of an ideology essentially out of touch and floundering about. this latest snafu is no exception, it is their rule.

  • JerkStore


    We cannot both exist at the same time, or the universe will implode. How do propose we resolve this temporal disturbance?

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=433625]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: You mean, like this?

  • El Pinche

    In short,

    Shep: “Gay gay gay .. gay gay gay gay”
    Steele: “Yo man…takin it to the streets boyeeeee. GOP is Hip Hop. I hate myself. ”
    Shep: “Gay gay.”
    Steele: “You’re gaycom”

  • Lazy Media

    Hard to believe that Michael Steele got the job over this guy.

  • Cheney Guevara
  • lochnessmonster

    Ummm why are they advertising something that doesn’t work? Is that the new “on the streets”…they sayin’ people ain’t workin’so the interwires and tubes ain’t either, you got to get out on the street?

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=433696]Cheney Guevara[/re]: You are a human monkey wrench. Ha!

  • tsunami

    why are you a republican?

    uhhh…because i’m white and stupid?

    [what do i win?]

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Awwww, the GOP’s “Heroes” section is simply pweshus. Why, they’ve even included this Louisiana rapscallion, right alongside Saint Ronnie. So inclusive and timely!

  • TheJerkStoreCalled

    [re=433684]JerkStore[/re]: What the…?

    I yield to your more succinct moniker. Now make us proud (sniff)

  • DangerousLiberal

    [re=433637]snideinplainsight[/re]: Product reviews? Of what? Guns? Spell checkers for “Wake Up Morans!” signs? Stars and Bars flags?

    Also, what’s sadder–the epic FAIL that is Mr. Steele, or the fact that more than about 10 people take the GOP seriously? The G(r)OPers are doing half the job for us, but the rest of us need to step up and finish the job, so that, by 2012, the GOP is as relevant as the Whigs. Actually, the GOP would improve if they became the Whigs. No word yet on how good the Whigs were at html coding, however.

  • A Better American Than You!

    Why doesn’t Ronald Reagan return from the dead and make this all run like clockwork?

    I am just amazed that our belovéd America has not completely collapsed in on itself before now. If any Republican is ever elected to anything again, I leaving the United States for some other country like Alaska.

  • ScaredShitless

    Highlighted Republican hero on Picney Pinchback. Huh? WTF? Did a Wonketeer hack the site to Mr. Pinchback that or is it for real? Or did they hire the staff from The Onion to do this?

  • Bruno

    This is why chillren don’t need no edumucation. High school should be about football and only football.

  • S.Luggo

    The Steele non-website loads, so to speak. Not many commenters, tho. I SAID, NOT MANY COMMENTERS, THO. :

    13 Oct
    Discussing the Blogs
    Posted by: alexa
    Welcome to the all-new! We are happy to have you. Please take some time to look around.

    Under the Discuss tab, you will find several dedicated blogs:

    •The Action Blog will ask you to go beyond reading and start doing
    •What up? By Michael Steele is where you can find out what the Chairman thinks
    •Co-Blog is the blog of Jan Larimer, the Co-Chairman of the Republican National Committee
    •Stomping Grounds features blog posts from the RNC Research department
    •Say It Loud is the blog for our Coalitions department
    •Communications features blogs from the RNC Communications division
    •Political is where our colleagues in the field report from
    •Feeding the Machine is the more tech-minded blog from New Media [HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH, a-heh.]

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=433704]TheJerkStoreCalled[/re]: I like yours better, quitter. Did Michael Steele quit when the doctor’s told him he had terminal Uncle Tom-itis? NO! Did Glenn Beck quit when his parents informed him he had a sow’s vagina for a mouth? I THINK NOT! Did Rush Limbaugh quit when his Oxy dealer fucked him in the ass so hard his rectum prolapsed like a pink sock!? NEVARRRRRRR!

    Keep on chooglin’….

  • Neilist

    I warned them that relying on a Steam Powered Website was a Bad Idea.

  • Terry


    Michael Steele is inviting code kiddies to join him in the GOP sandbox? Yep, he’s a Republican.

  • V572625694

    It’s a shame they can’t find somebody to nigger-rig it.

  • Flanders

    [re=433708]ScaredShitless[/re]: I had to check Wikipedia on that one myself, I thought Shortsx3 had been hard at work. But, alas, he was one of the first african-american govenor of a state, or something like that.

  • Aflac Shrugged

    I proceeded under the assumption that the website would greet me as a liberator.

  • loquaciousmusic

    [re=433720]Flanders[/re]: From the Wikipedia entry:

    …he served as the governor of Louisiana for 35 days…

    You Republicans are really reaching, ain’t you?

  • Sharkey

    [re=433679]god.was.stingy[/re]: “finest of TRS-80s”

    Let’s hope they made a backup of that cassette tape – looks like the h4XX0RZ erased everything in its RAM!

  • S.Luggo
    Featured Group: Chris Christie [It’s true. The man is his own group.]

  • MzNicky

    This is really just such a pathetically awful pile of Fail I almost feel sorry for these pathetic awful looser [sic] faily McFailFails.

    JUST KIDDING!! haw haw haw haw I’ve been laughing my ass off all DAY!! haw haw. Now I have to go make dinner. I can’t wait to see what new dimension of Fail this platformy non-web site has entered when I get back! Haw haw haw

  • Terry


    They appear to be moderating the comments. Probably a smart move. LOL

  • nbawriter

    Next up: it isn’t really, but, a site for golden shower fetish fans.

    Actually, that sounds like something followers might like.

  • comicbookguy

    [re=433714]Neilist[/re]: Oh but they had to go for that retro charm.

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    bringin’ tha Blingage!

  • assistant/atlas

    [re=433637]snideinplainsight[/re]: Hey! I’m apparently a lot better at coding PHP than Republicans! I’m totally gonna sign….whoa, whoa, whoa, “volunteer” coders? Fuck you, you socialist communist Republican hippies!

  • GreatOldOnesParty
  • RoscoePColtraine

    We’re making fun of the website becuz it has teh kinks? I thought it was becuz it was full of funny looking faces. And it looks like it was designed by skoalrebel. Or skoalrebel’s retarded cousin.

    Okay, consider me “briefed” and “up-to-speed.”

  • Sharkey

    [re=433719]V572625694[/re]: That’s what they asked for, but they got a jury-rig instead. Stupid contractors.

  • Lazy Media

    Yeah, the comments show up slower than on Wonkette (ZING!). They may have a keyword filter for lobotomy, tho.

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=433742]Sharkey[/re]: don’t you mean…
    N*gger Rigged?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Oh, and I heard that it’s possible to design and build a website before you publish it. Can somebody check on this?

  • PoignancySelz

    [re=433691]El Pinche[/re]: I got one driving home. G{[El Pinche avatar]}P + blingee. I’d do it myself but those learning curves kill me and I have to wash my SmartCar before tonite’s airing of Frontline, Obama’s War, Poignancy Sells, and/or why we need more troops.

  • Cheney Guevara

    [re=433701]bitchincamaro[/re]: a human evolved from monkey wrench

  • AnSnarkist

    [re=433684]JerkStore[/re]: What’s the difference? You’re their all-time best seller.

  • Sharkey

    [re=433747]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: One of us just got sucked into a Large Hadron Collidor, or something.

  • Atheist Nun
  • Atheist Nun
  • coolcatdaddy

    It’s not a website?


    The same way that Bush wasn’t really a President?

  • 1ofUS

    [re=433618]Sharkey[/re]: You mean better than a 386 on the SAT? Really?

  • bopumofu

    From the blog:

    Why are you are Republican? Think about that for a minute.

    Is tough question is.

  • Moleman v2.5

    This is not a website…

    Thiiiiis is not a website

    Somewhere out there, Johnny Lydon is laughing.

    I’m going over to the other side
    I’m happy to have not to have not
    Big business is very wise
    I’m inside free enterprise

  • Extemporanus

    [re=433737]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: For all you do, this face of the GOP is for you!

    (It needs blood, huh?)

  • stolichnayaaa

    This is my favorite aspect of the site so far- in the (presumably heavily moderated) comments on Steele’s first blog entry, there are the following two sequential comments by the same guy.


    Posted by Joe McGee on 10/13/2009 10:49:30 AM

    Sometimes I wonder what brings one to, what mentality and under what circumstances does one come to the conclusion that they are a certain political affiliation? Must one keep the faith once they make the decision? I have always been a Republican and am proud of it. Next time someone asks, I’ll just show them my card.

    Posted by Joe McGee on 10/13/2009 11:07:26 AM

    Why bother with screen names if users’ real names are going to show up in public anyway?

    Please tell me – who is Joe McGee? Which one of you is “Joe McGee”?

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=433830]Extemporanus[/re]: beautiful!
    That template will see a lot of use in the future.
    In case you didn’t see it in the other thread…

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=433846]stolichnayaaa[/re]: i actually think he’s posted in here before.

  • notwavingbutdrowning

    [re=433696]Cheney Guevara[/re]: That is the kicker.
    I can’t take anymore. My stomach aches from laughing too much.

  • MzNicky

    [re=433737]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: That black dude looks like Cornell West swallowed Rash Phlegmball. The face of the New GOP! Now with Blingee!

  • Scandalabra

    Heckuvajob Steely.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=433852]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: HA!

    I actually started to make a goatse one, but I had to bail out. Maybe I’ll try again when it’s not so close to dinner time.

    Or perhaps there’s a brave, sick soul among us willing to step into the breach?..

  • Mike Steele

    On the “Our GOP” tab, one of us has put in Ted Bundy as a member in two places. Laughed till the back of my head hurt.

  • GreatOldOnesParty
  • Terry

    Darn it. They definitely blocked my comment. All I did was suggest that some of those people in the banner looked like potential Obama voters and need to be checked out.

  • ALIVE!

    It’s not a truck!

  • Cathangover

    Hey guys, sorry if this has been brought up somewhere else, but what the fuck is up with the site referring to Reagan as “Ronaldus Magnus”? Am I missing something?

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=433987]Cathangover[/re]: I totally called BS on that!
    This thing has ‘parody’ written all over it.
    Could it be that the republitards are beginning to understand irony?
    and I still prefer the terms “Reaganus Maximus” or “Ronaldus Prime”.

  • Terry


    Oh, it’s about what you thought. I googled it. Extreme worship of Ronald W. Reagan.

  • ThisIsn’tAboutSexGaryItsAboutTrust

    Let’s see if there’s any intelligent discussion on these new forums…

    “We shold ban snowe from the senate. she is more like a demoncrat than a member of the republican party. she should just join that traitor from PA in the demoncrat party (i can’t even say his name because he’s scum) – Where is Maine’s Toomey?!”

    Fuck. Never mind.

  • BMK

    [re=433651]PrairiePossum[/re]: And a pinch of SkoalRebel.

  • Flanders

    [re=433830]Extemporanus[/re]: Nice!

  • notwavingbutdrowning

    [re=433647]Native of SL UT[/re]: “Republican faces need yours”
    What the fuck does that even mean?

    They want faces to sit on. For the tea-baggers.

  • CthuNHu


    My favorite steelefail:

    Discuss–>Sound Reasoning–>Categories:Faith and Values

    “There are no entries to show.”

    True dat.

  • CthuNHu

    [re=433713]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: lil pink sock, lil pink sock /Mutts

    You may now commence bleaching your brain.

  • TheJerkStoreCalled

    [re=433713]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: But I’m like a point guard, knowing exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can… ah, fuck it.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    Come on, guys! This isn’t even reality? It’s just a manifestation of some consciousness in another dimension! Really, guys! Cut it out!

  • mardam422

    They truly are shockingly incompetent. And they want to what?…run the country again?

    If the American people fall for this again, I’m telling you, I’m on the first fucking flight to Canada.

  • Lilybart

    Can I just start the day by telling all of you how funny you are and how it makes my day when I come here and remember that not all Americans are f*ing stupid.

  • hunter.blatherer

    No, guys, he’s right; it’s literally a platform. This new “” is something you can set up on a street corner, stand on, and make speeches from. And the passwords were given out because this is a real grassroots operation! No astroturf; everyone’s a leader, just like in those anarchist demonstrations.

  • renomartini

    Not only is it a “website” but it is possibly Christmas come early. Create and account and a login, (no email verification needed, natch. Or maybe my choice of flew under the radar) and begin participating in their discussions. Question 1: “Why are you a Republican?” Its like a softball from Jesus!!!

  • wallythepug

    Just looked at the “Heroes” section…didn’t anyone tell them that Jackie Robinson was NOT a Republican?

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=433647]Native of SL UT[/re]: They’re not longer satisfied with just brains.

  • adsnews

    thank you so much

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