HAHA ENGLAND  11:15 am October 13, 2009

Meanwhile, In England, Parliament Is Terrified About Something Going Public

by Jim Newell

Blowjobs.England’s Parliament, which is what they call their “Senate Finance Committee,” is being very mean to a newspaper! “The Guardian has been prevented from reporting parliamentary proceedings on legal grounds which appear to call into question privileges guaranteeing free speech established under the 1688 Bill of Rights.” Meh, that was so long ago though.

“Today’s published Commons order papers contain a question to be answered by a minister later this week. The Guardian is prevented from identifying the MP who has asked the question, what the question is, which minister might answer it, or where the question is to be found.”

Blowjobs. The MP (Frodo) and the minister (Harry Potter) are going to talk about blowjobs, in Parliament, while giving each other blowjobs. These stories: they always come down to “blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs.” Can’t let it be published, terrible stuff, very embarrassing…


Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


Crank Tango October 13, 2009 at 11:22 am

If it don’t have a Second Amendment, then it ain’t no Bill of Rights.

norbizness October 13, 2009 at 11:22 am

LIBRARIAN: Mr. Bernstein?

BERNSTEIN: Yes, ma’am.

LIBRARIAN: What I said before? I was wrong. The truth is, I don’t have a card that Mr. Hunt took out any Kennedy material. I remember getting that material out for somebody, but it wasn’t Mr. Hunt. The truth is, I’ve never had any requests at all from Mr. Hunt (pause). The truth is, I don’t know Mr. Hunt.

Min October 13, 2009 at 11:25 am

Oh, I read this one…”Barry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone”.

memzilla October 13, 2009 at 11:26 am

The Guardian is one of the few newspapers in Britain which is not owned by Rupert Murdoch, who is the Master of Sucking. Irony!

SwanSwanH October 13, 2009 at 11:27 am

Sounds confusing. Is this a box score from a cricket match?

freakishlystrong October 13, 2009 at 11:29 am

If you clickee through to the Guardian article, you’ll notice the Gaurdian was “gagged”. So, yes, blowjobs.

hobospacejunkie October 13, 2009 at 11:29 am

This is what happens when you don’t have a constitution. Ass clown lap dogs like Tony Blair lick their finger, hold it up to the political wind & then make up some new law to please W. If they’re not already occupied fudging expense reports.

JMP October 13, 2009 at 11:31 am

The Guardian was, however, allowed to print the answer to the question: 42.

OzoneTom October 13, 2009 at 11:34 am
AnnieGetYourFun October 13, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=433065]freakishlystrong[/re]: I thought that the British were into nannies and paddling each other? Oral sex has probably never occurred to them.

magic titty October 13, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=433053]norbizness[/re]: Hooray for the All The President’s Men reference!

shadowMark October 13, 2009 at 11:40 am

Those people thought Eric Clapton was God.

Maybe Eric will fix their little freedom of speech problem.

Canmon (the Inadequate) October 13, 2009 at 11:41 am

We’ve suspended habeas corpus for those in Guantanamo, and that goes all the way back to 1215. Once again, U.S.A. prevails.

Cicada October 13, 2009 at 11:41 am

[re=433083]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Have you their teeth? Would you want that anywhere near your genitals?

I think I’ve made my point.

Lascauxcaveman October 13, 2009 at 11:45 am

[re=433090]shadowMark[/re]: Blimey. Eric Clapton isn’t God?

freakishlystrong October 13, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=433083]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Uhhh..have you seen their teeth? Would you want anything even closely resembling that anywhere near your bits?

Paul Tardy October 13, 2009 at 11:47 am

1688? My mother chucks perfectly edible stuff after a few months.

>>>>>>Spoiler Alert<<<<<<<

Colonel B and Field Marshal Pink are the same person. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

AggieDemocrat October 13, 2009 at 11:50 am

I’ll say it again: I’m glad I don’t live in a country where some unelected skank can fire the entire elected government just because she has a bad hair day.

freakishlystrong October 13, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=433093]Cicada[/re]: Long lost Sib?

Cicada October 13, 2009 at 11:52 am

[re=433097]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yep. British teeth are so nasty, that joke just writes itself.

N8Ma October 13, 2009 at 11:53 am

oh they took the gag ball out.

it’s something to do with Lord Nelson and toxic sludge.

gurukalehuru October 13, 2009 at 11:55 am

This is the kind of thing that newspapers should do. These are the questions we asked. These are the questions they refused to answer.
Also, Page 3 girls.

WhatTheHeck October 13, 2009 at 11:55 am

The Guardian wouldn’t be in so much bother if only they had some page 3 T&A photos for the honorable members to take under advisement.

SmutBoffin October 13, 2009 at 12:00 pm

The thing in question. (No, I have no idea what it is talking about)

AxmxZ October 13, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Stephen Fry, a renowned British expert on cock and not gagging thereupon, has set his vast Twittering armies against this mysterious gag order.

shadowMark October 13, 2009 at 12:09 pm

[re=433120]SmutBoffin[/re]: A private law firm gets a report about a private company doing bad stuff in Africa and the government gags a newspaper?

It all sounds complicated so I hope somebody asks Hillary what her husband Bill the former president thinks about the issue.

charlesdegoal October 13, 2009 at 12:20 pm

According to none other than the BBC, the matter has now been resolved.
BTW, “The question from Paul Farrelly was related to an injunction stopping the publication of a report commissioned by Trafigura into “alleged dumping of toxic waste in the Ivory Coast”.” and “he publication of internal Barclays reports documenting alleged tax avoidance schemes” Run of the mill gross abuse of authority, in other words.

Decker October 13, 2009 at 1:03 pm

You can see where they want to hush it up, because imagine what dicking over an African country would do to their otherwise sparkling reputations on the Dark Continent. Hail Camilla!

emberglance October 13, 2009 at 1:51 pm

This is a classic case of a PR backfire turning into a PR nightmare. Trafigura’s lawyers managed to persuade a judge to grant an injunction preventing the Guardian from reporting on a question in Parliament about the “alleged dumping”. Twitterers form an instant lynch mob behind the Guardian. Law firm backs down, injunction is lifted, people round the world get to find out about Trafigura and what they’ve been up to. Kudos to the Guardian and the tweeting masses, I say.

Now, please resume the amusing comments about English teeth. They are so terrible!!!

Numbat Dundee October 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm

If a Tory MP is involved, it will be something more bizzare than a straightfoward blowjob. Think asphyxiation, high heels and suspenders. Think gerbils.
They have a tradition to uphold. There big on that there.

Robert Zimmerframe October 14, 2009 at 1:57 am

To clarify:

- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
- The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.
- The Sun is read by people who don’t care who runs the country, as long as she’s got big tits.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: