About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

73 comments

  1. JamesMichaelCurley

    One of the GOP “Young Leaders” I’m look forward to see in campaign party mode.

    GOP Assembly candidate sells sex toys for women

    This year’s Most Interesting Job for an Assembly Candidate Award goes to District 5 Republican Stepfanie Velez-Gentry, who runs a business specializing in… well, what amounts to naughty Tupper Ware parties. Velez-Gentry, 29, who’s running against South Jersey power broker George Norcross’s brother, Donald Norcross, runs Nookie Parties LLC, which organizes “adult romance parties for women & couples.” (Edge, PolitickerNJ)

    http://www.politickernj.com/wallye/33983/gop-assembly-candidate-sells-sex-toys-women

  2. bureaucrap

    They were going to put in Aaron Shock (the hot one), but after 2010 he’s just going to be a personal trainer.

  3. Chain Tattoo

    I remember 404 Error — one of the great Republican leaders of years gone by. He had the spine to say “what you seek cannot be found.” Never bothered with opinion polls, couldn’t care less what pages the whiny liberal elite wanted to load, always ready to tell the straight, unvarnished truth: “There’s nothing for you here, now go away and cut taxes!” What a man. The party sure could use another like him.

  4. The Toot

    I notice that a lot of the GOP heroes are of a certain, um, hue, as if party realignments never happened.

    WHY DO THEY REFUSE TO HONOR TRUE GOP HEROES LIKE STROM THURMOND, JESSE HELMS, AND ROBERT BORK?

    /sorry, low on the snark today, blame these bastards

  5. hockeymom

    Where is Meg McCain?
    She is both a Young Leader AND a Hero.

    Also, that chick with the backwards B carved on her face?
    She should be on that website, post-haste.

  6. freakishlystrong

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! And they list as one of their “accomplishments” as creating the Buffalo Soldiers! Yay, we were the first ones to send all the darkies to fight our wars! Mission Accomplished!

  7. GreatOldOnesParty

    and people are still named Leonidas?

    i don’t know if that should be the coolest thing evAR or just incredibly gay.

    “THIS! IS! REPUBLICA!!!” (kicks Michael Steele down a well)

  8. Lazy Media

    In case you’re wondering who that old dude is standing in as the O, that’s Leonidas C. Dyer, an 11-term Republican Congressman (1911-33) best known for introducing a (failed) federal anti-lynching law (it foundered on a Dixiecratic Senatorial filibuster). Here’s the real reason he’s so inspiring to today’s GOP, though: “Dyer ran unsuccessfully for reelection in 1932, 1934 and 1936.”

  9. teebob2000

    Yep, something’s definitely fucked up here. I got a picture of big black lady from aCORN!!!!11 as the “O” in “GOP” when I went there. Really!

  10. Formerly Preferred

    [re=433020]The Toot[/re]: Yeah, I noticed that, too. There’s something remarkably odious about the current GOP claiming people like Pinchback as a “hero;” as if the current GOP would actually have supported Reconstruction leaders in their fight against the Klan and the White League.

    http://www.gop.com/index.php/learn/heroes/

    Does this strategy of claiming ownership of past Republican heroes (some of whom were legitimately heroic) backfire? Does it remind people of just how upside down the modern Republican party is compared to the party that had that name in 1870? Probably not.

    Somehow, though, I am comforted by the fact that G.W. Bush and P.B.S. Pinchback will never, ever be mentioned together in another sentence again, after this one.

  11. TVarmy

    Notice the Blingee American flag at the bottom? I think they’re trying to make a Wonkett parody site.

  12. hobospacejunkie

    [re=433023]Sussemilch[/re]: Adults who feel the need to call sex nookie are icky. But bonus points for the sex toys, though making your friends come to a nookie party is kind of oppressive.

  13. The Sea Farmer

    Republican hero #4 (50% as heroic as Reagan according to rankings) – Octavius Catto, murdered by Democrats.

  14. GreatOldOnesParty

    From the Reagan entry: “Our country has to decide,” said RONALDUS MAGNUS, “whether we believe in our capacity for self-government or whether to abandon the American Revolution and confess that a little intellectual elite in a far-distant capital can plan our lives better than we can plan them ourselves.” (emphasis mine)

    Ronaldus Magnus?

    Holy fuck, it’s a parody site!

  15. norbizness

    GOP Heroes? I thought maybe it would be a CGI Strom Thurmond with power bands and a robot dog sidekick.

  16. Cicada

    [re=433020]The Toot[/re]: The “certain hue” in this screencap appears to be a corpse-like gray.

    The GOP, white and oh-so-modern! Wonder why they do so badly with the under 35s?

  17. GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=433057]norbizness[/re]: you’ll note that ALL OF THEM ARE DEAD and Reagan is the only relatively recent one.
    Where are Kenneth Starr and Newt Gingrich?

  18. PabaBritannica

    Yes, Edward Brooke, the great Massachusetts Senator who boned Barbara Walters and was kept off the VP ticket in 1976 by…Jesse Helms.

    Which one of these men do conservatives admire more these days?

  19. PsycGirl

    [re=433014]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: She sez her products have “helped save marriages”. If only Mark Sanford had known.

  20. binarian

    [re=433088]jetjaguar[/re]: They must’ve hired some tech guys…..who quit before finishing the site….

  21. PabaBritannica

    They should put up a poll and have it list choices for greatest GOP hero and just put Jesse Helms and then everyone else on that list except Reagan. That would learn them.

  22. binarian

    Ok, they fixed the 404 issue….but there’s no actually people on the page….just a plea to become a leader.

  23. Mustang

    Is it just me, or does that young rebublican leader girl look like a horny slut? Because I just wanted to tell Michael Steele that’s probably a better approach than the dog.

  24. Mustang

    Oh! Faces! I get it. More than one. They keep changing. Cool. But this one still looks like a horny slut. I tell you. The GOP is onto something here.

  25. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=433023]Sussemilch[/re]: She seems nice enough for a professional dildo salesman. Still it kinda bothers me that all these barely-making-it ‘entrepreneurs’ and Amway suckers are pimping for GOP because they think they are going to be wealthy someday.

    Same thing with all the small business people in my family. Last election season, I can’t remember how many times I had to ask, “Really? You make over $250,000 a year?” The answer, of course, was ‘No, but…’

  26. SmutBoffin

    [re=433122]IrksomeKitty[/re]: Are you new here or have you just been away for a few weeks?

    [re=433119]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: “She seems nice enough for a professional dildo sales(wo)man.” This is funny!

  27. Johnny Zhivago

    Holy G.O.P…. I was about to join the Republican Party – but – sheeeesh… don’t tell anyone, they’re like loaded with black people!!! Like every other person!!! I mean, their website, it looks like they’re the freaking Nation of Islam or something….

    Whew….

  28. Snarkalicious

    [re=433023]Sussemilch[/re]: I call double BS. You’re telling me this dildo vending single (?) mother of 2, who cares for the old, the sick, the poor and the children is a Rethug? Not buyin it. I will take an 18″ Nobama Black Water Dong, a ball gag, a can of disinfectant spray and Karl Rove’s home address please. Oh, and some of them edible, crotchless panties. I’ll need to keep my energy up.

  29. TastyCakes

    I love that The Chairman is, like Wonkette, taken to using commas, for humor:

    The Internet has been around a while, now. But, I still find it an amazing platform for innovation, not just in technology, but in life.

  30. imissopus

    Somebody with video editing software MUST edit Michael Steele into one of those old Budweiser commercials.

  31. yellowdogdem

    Edward Brooke? From my home state of Massachusetts? No way would he be a Rethug if he were alive today. Which he isn’t. In fact, he’s turning over in his grave.

  32. yellowdogdem

    Octomom! I want Octomom as a GOP hero! Become an attention whore and have as many babies as possible!

  33. rxaver

    But the search engine works flawlessly:

    Your search “legitimate, alternative health care reform”
    did not match any documents

  34. teebob2000

    [re=433014]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: She’s involved in so-called “Toys for Tots”. What kind of sick woman is this!!!????

  35. A Better American Than You!

    Agnew. Joe McCarthy. Nixon. Ferdinand Marcos. Augusto Pinochet.

    Ah, those old school Republicans were so much grabbier than the Mark Sanfords, John Ensigns, and Duke Cunninghams.

  36. Mahousu

    I just went to the site, but I didn’t get an “O” face. Instead, it just says “P FACES beta.” So I guess they’re transitioning it to some sort of golden shower fetish site. Good move.

  37. One Yield Regular

    Who’s that guy in the photo? I can’t read the name, but he looks like Roy Cohn, the GOP’s bestest hero ever.

  38. foog

    Looks like there’s a submit-yer-own-pic plus quote option on the site. Y’all know what to do, right?

  39. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=433027]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Baby, I’m ready to go. From the rooftop, shout it out. Shout. It. Out.

  40. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=433260]teebob2000[/re]: Like when Tom Green had his grandmother use a vibrator as an egg-beater.

    … Actually, that’s pretty much use as advertised.

Comments are closed.