ANGRY TYPING BATTLES  5:09 pm October 12, 2009

White House Official Position: Weird Gay Bloggers Are Fine, Can Wear Pajamas If They Want

by Jim Newell

Pajamas are a relative thingThe secret White House advisor (RAHMBO?) who upset Andrew Sullivan and other members of the “Internet left fringe” so greatly by telling them to wear real pants instead of pajamas, guess what his or her sentiment doesn’t represent? “That sentiment does not reflect White House thinking at all,” according to White House deputy communications director Dan Pfeiffer, “we’ve held easily a dozen calls with the progressive online community because we believe the online communities can often keep the focus on how policy will affect the American people rather than just the political back-and-forth.” Oooh, “phone calls.” “A dozen calls.” Has anyone ever not worn pajamas to talk on the telephone? [Greg Sargent]

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OzoneTom October 12, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Two pictures of Jonah Goldberg in one day?

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Please stop publishing my photo, Jim. I’ve asked you nicely.

scubaix October 12, 2009 at 5:13 pm

cease and desist, wonket! my morning time is MY TIME! cease and desist!

chascates October 12, 2009 at 5:14 pm

I wear socks and a pair of cheap shorts. Pajamas are elitist.

Tommmcatt October 12, 2009 at 5:16 pm

I will personally buy pajamas and mail them to that guy, as long as you promise to take a picture of him wearing them and use it from now on instead of this one .

Oh, and alt twice in one day. It’s an embarrassment of riches. Don’t think I didn’t notice.

SayItWithWookies October 12, 2009 at 5:17 pm

The White House also said it doesn’t mind that I’m usually baked off my ass when they talk to me about my opinion.

scubaix October 12, 2009 at 5:17 pm

is that a grease gun on the wall? what is that?

nbawriter October 12, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Newell, did you eat Chris Christie?

Extemporanus October 12, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=432550]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: You are a weird gay blobber.

scubaix October 12, 2009 at 5:21 pm

then i think…there’s some sort of ass under that whole unit. what does it portend for us humans, Dan Pfeffenshnauser? Yes? Not so smart with your dozen phone calls at the “white house” when faced with a gastro global event are you?

Accordion-o-rama October 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

I’m not wearing pajamas as I type this.

Scruffy_The_Janitor October 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Dear Jim Newell:

It has come to my attention that you have made an unauthorized use of Mr. Roscoe P. Coltraine’s personal morning photographs(the “Work”) in the preparation of a work derived therefrom. Mr. Coltraine has reserved all rights in the Work, first published in 1987. Your work entitled White House Official Position: Weird Gay Bloggers Are Fine, Can Wear Pajamas If They Want is essentially taking Mr. Coltrain’s copyrighted material and clearly used the Work as its basis.

As you neither asked for nor received permission to use the Work as the basis for White House Official Position: Weird Gay Bloggers Are Fine, Can Wear Pajamas If They Want nor to make or distribute copies, including electronic copies, of same, I believe you have willfully infringed Mr. Coltrain’s rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages as high as $150,000 as set forth in Section 504(c)(2) therein.

We demand that you immediately cease the use and distribution of all infringing works derived from the Work, and all copies, including electronic copies, of same, that you deliver to me, if applicable, all unused, undistributed copies of same, or destroy such copies immediately and that you desist from this or any other infringement of my rights in the future. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by Monday October 12 COB indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, I shall take further action against you.

Mr. Scruffy.

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=432561]Extemporanus[/re]: You’re JUST NOW figuring that out?

Extemporanus October 12, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=432557]scubaix[/re]: Read the comments on this post.

They’ll explaing everything.

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 5:26 pm

[re=432564]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: You do realize I don’t have much money to pay you? Maybe we’ll whip up some publicity, then we’ll both cruise to rich-ville.

AngryBlakGuy October 12, 2009 at 5:27 pm

…what? No reference to living in their mothers basement?!

Suds McKenzie October 12, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Well OK then, I’m changing out of my dungaree’s and back into my pajamas. Jeebus

Scruffy_The_Janitor October 12, 2009 at 5:30 pm

[re=432574]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I am taking your case on a contingency basis. 45% is my usual fee, but for you, I’m only charging 55%. Jim Newell has deep pockets and is sure to cave in the moment I filed the complaint in federal court. Make sure you bring pants to court.

rocktonsammy October 12, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Me and Skoalrebel don’t wear no none peejammies.

Thats going rouge.

proudgrampa October 12, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=432571]Extemporanus[/re]: The best one was about putting bacon and melted cheese on your vegetables to make them taste better. What a great idea!!

Extemporanus October 12, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=432566]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I always knew that you were weird and gay.

However, your relatively fit avatard mislead me into thinking that you were not a booby-havin’ blobber with a baby-sized bobber.

I sit in my pajamas corrected.

nightshift October 12, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Dear Lord, the Huckabee’s really packing it on! And he’s grown a beard too…

Min October 12, 2009 at 5:33 pm

Hey, at least he didn’t tell them to move out of their parents’ basements. Oh, wait. That’s Trek fans, not weird gay bloggers.

My bad.

ifthethunderdontgetya" October 12, 2009 at 5:34 pm

[re=432575]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Vprogressive online community

So no mom’s basement, Cheetos™, or Mountain Dew. Those are of Redstate.

bobwurst October 12, 2009 at 5:34 pm

scubaix, that’s one of those things people use to grab stuff up on high shelves. I’m guessing santablogs uses it to pick up his hot pockets when they fall on the floor. And to wipe his ass, of course…

Nappied Hypotenuse October 12, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Sure, sure “Pajamas are a relative thing,” but in this case pajamas would be a fucking valuable thing. (Also, as a reminder, Cookies are a sometime thing, love is a sparkin’ thing, and it ain’t nuthin’ but a g thing.)

scubaix October 12, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=432571]Extemporanus[/re]: i got to the debate as to whether it was a caulk gun or an obese elder picker upper thing. I think I don’t want to know. I think the knowing would hurt more than the not knowing. Chris, was i so employed in July that I missed that hurtful thing?

Extemporanus October 12, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=432583]Extemporanus[/re]: Sorry for the excessively slanty blogger wordy things. They slipped on some anal leakage whilst trying to escape from that comment.

Now I know why you wear that beard bib and dingleberry diaper!

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=432580]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: ‘Twon’t be easy. Hard to find waist size 81, (my “skinny jeans” damn near split) and I refuse to wear expandable sweat pants in public. They make me look like a slob.

OKAY folks, show’s over. Don’t make me humiliate myself on this topic again. K-MART wants me to pay for that scooter, so I got enough problems.

scubaix October 12, 2009 at 5:40 pm

[re=432588]bobwurst[/re]: see [re=410201] Extemporanus[/re]: if you don’t really want to know the answer.

Extemporanus October 12, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=432592]scubaix[/re]: It’s a cock gun.

Oh, wait…I just spoiled the mystery, didn’t I? Sorry ’bout that…

Scruffy_The_Janitor October 12, 2009 at 5:44 pm


Dear Sir or Madam:

This CEASE AND DESIST LETTER is to inform you that your slanderous and libelous actions against the Mr. Coltraine has become unbearable. Such anti-social behavior is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in any way, shape or form. This letter is to demand that your continuing involvement in, planning, and encouragement of, damaging and untruthful comments towards Mr. Coltrain must CEASE AND DESIST immediately. Should you continue to pursue these activities in violation of this CEASE AND DESIST LETTER, we will not hesitate to pursue legal action against you

Mr. Coltrain has never been a booby-havin’ blobber and has never had a a baby-sized bobber.
This shameful campaign tactic must stop immediately before any further libelous damage to Mr. Coltrain reputations occurs.
Mr. Coltrain and his peers have a right to remain free from slanderous, manipulative and high-pressure tactics, and we will take the responsibility upon ourselves to protect that right. Note that a copy of this letter and a record of its delivery will be stored. Note too that it is admissible as evidence in a court of law and will be used as such if need be in the future.

This CEASE AND DESIST LETTER demands that you immediately discontinue and do not at any point in the future under any circumstances do the following: misrepresent my personal views, fabricate lies about our slate serving alcohol to minors, or make any other slanderous or libelous comments about Mr. Coltrain.


scubaix October 12, 2009 at 5:48 pm

[re=432603]Extemporanus[/re]: I prefer ruined over spoiled. Thanks for making me wish I was dead though. Haven’t felt that since childhood.

El Pinche October 12, 2009 at 5:50 pm

Jon McNaughton’s next project is called “One Hell – Where Bad Conservatives Go” , it will be a painting of this fat guys office chair complete with scratch n sniff fly-overs.

Country Club Jihadi October 12, 2009 at 5:50 pm

That dude looks like God after he ate the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 5:51 pm

So, this is how it feels.

One thing I can tell you for SURE. The guy in that photo ain’t gay.

Extemporanus October 12, 2009 at 6:18 pm

[re=432609]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: [re=432615]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I take it back.

He’s apparently not gay. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree about the other stuff.

Perhaps we could meet over a cold one to discuss things—what kind of cooking oil do you two drink?

user-of-owls October 12, 2009 at 6:24 pm

The use of that photo this close to November is iron-clad proof: Wonkette is in the tank for Big Corzine.

Naked Bunny with a Whip October 12, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Mock the poor photo man as you will, you monsters, but he has kept many an orphan alive through the winter, nourishing them in his warm folds. He is my hero, and I would give him a great hug if I had much longer arms.

sati demise October 12, 2009 at 6:32 pm

[re=432574]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: sounds like ‘buttsecs’ is going to be involved in this transaction.


RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 6:34 pm

[re=432644]Extemporanus[/re]: Let’s all be sure we understand why we know he’s not gay. It’s the decor, right?

ForTheTurnstiles October 12, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Creepy blogger lives down the way from our place, registering his creepiness by flying the pre-1994, Yay Apartheid! flag of South Africa.

Few weeks back, it was the Yay Bigotry! christian identity flag.

I think he’s doing this on purpose, when he’s not blogging in his homo pajamas.

sati demise October 12, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Oh sure, they say the White House didnt think those things. oh sure.

Pfieffer is going to blow a different tune when the phone calls lead to actual meetings.

MortSinclair October 12, 2009 at 6:45 pm

Where do you get these photos? Damn!

BobTheBuilder October 12, 2009 at 7:00 pm

A cautionary tale to all us Americans: if you let yourself go like this, you too will no longer be able to jerk off to internet porn.

artpepper October 12, 2009 at 7:45 pm

I only wear pants when my friends come over to play Dungeons & Dragons in my mom’s basement.

OK, when my friend comes over.

OK, I play D&D with Mr Gingham my cat.

Damn you, Secret White House Advisor!

Neilist October 12, 2009 at 7:49 pm

Newell, I really wish you would stop posting my picture in here without my permission.

And that thing on the wall is only part of my gun collection.

Jukesgrrl October 12, 2009 at 7:51 pm

Just for the record: I am clothed in a T-shirt and yoga pants. This absolutely is NOT pajamas. In bed I wear an OLD T-shirt and OLD yoga pants. And my mother doesn’t have a basement; in Arizona houses are built on slabs. So suck it, Rahm.

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 7:56 pm

[re=432715]Neilist[/re]: Neilist, late much?

hobospacejunkie October 12, 2009 at 8:10 pm

I don’t blog. I don’t wear pajama. We don’t have basements in central Texas. But holy hell we surely rival Mississippi & wherever Fat Guy here is from in morbidly obese per capita.

Bruno October 12, 2009 at 8:23 pm

Wonkette, you’re the “Best Liberal Blog” for god’s sake. Who is in on those progressive blogging calls if not you?

If you’re not the lucky baker’s dozen, we’ll fix them all good.

If you are, please ask lots of questions about organic watermellon growing and Carter-era ‘stains’ on the Oval Office carpet

Bruno October 12, 2009 at 8:27 pm

[re=432715]Neilist[/re]: You know, you’re comments are usually too long for my short attention span that is usually impared by booze and other prescribed and non-prescribed drugs, but this was what I can deal with. Keep it up bro

Bruno October 12, 2009 at 8:33 pm


pre-Apartheid flag…ugg, I have to deal with an idiot now who insists he is Rhodesian. What, does someone have a problem with Canaan Banana?

zaccapeters October 12, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Would someone please give this guy just one tiny, wafer-thin mint so I am never tempted again to zoom up his pic to check his wall decor? Bllurrf.

bago October 12, 2009 at 10:55 pm

Quoth Jim Newell: “Moolti-alt!”

hiphophitler October 13, 2009 at 1:19 am

That picture always makes me want to quote that noted secular humanist Morgan Freeman when he and his partner, Brad Pitt, discovered the “glutton” victim in the movie “Seven”:

“Why, this poor fella’s a shut-in.”

Jukesgrrl October 13, 2009 at 2:04 am

Rahm wears pajamas, too, but his are decorated with whore diamonds.

IonaTrailer October 26, 2009 at 11:43 am

My eyes! My eyes”

Eee-uuuu-oooo – that picture…

IonaTrailer October 26, 2009 at 11:46 am

Do you think there is vaseline on the keyboard…?

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