• May 27, 2012

Funny That Bob McDonnell Despises Sarah Palin, Considering He Used To Basically Be In Love With Her

by Juli Weiner  9:40 am October 12, 2009

On Friday, America’s spokesperson Meg Stapleton publicly announced that Sarah Palin was totally willing to help out Bob McDonnell win his governor’s race in Virgina, which is like the “contiguous states equivalent” of avoiding being elected governor of Alaska. Anyway, McDonnell did not appear to be too excited about this, which is funny, considering how into it he used to be, back in August. Says McDonnell: “There was a time earlier on when she was governor when I thought she would come here. But I think she seems to be busy with books and other things like that. We’ve still got about 20 different events scheduled down the road and she’s not one of them.” He was pretty sure it was a casual summer thing, is the point.

Oh but so Meg Stapleton and Sarah Palin are being so awkward about the whole thing, really. It is simply not becoming! Some low-level staffer from Palin’s fake PalinPAC slipped McDonnell’s campaign a $2,500 check at a fundraiser, plus Palin offered to fly from Alaska to Virginia at her own expense. “Make no mistake, the Governor will move mountains if the campaign wishes,” Stapleton pleaded sadly, gratuitously. Oh and relevancy lexicon tip: the term “The Governor” here appears to function as an ironic metonym for Sarah Palin.

[Washington Post]

{ 62 comments }

Tundra Grifter October 12, 2009 at 9:45 am

“He was pretty sure it was a casual summer thing, is the point.” I’m pretty sure he’s the first boy to not call after he went back to the city. And hooked up with his former girlfriend because absence does make the heart go yonder.

WestEdEd October 12, 2009 at 9:46 am

Sadly, every couple of elections the GOP snows people into thinking they are not all batshit crazy racist, American Taliabm equivalents.

This is one of those elections.

hobospacejunkie October 12, 2009 at 9:48 am

The only mountains the Snowbilliken will be moving are the mountains of bullshit stinking up her soon to be published book, amirite?

SwanSwanH October 12, 2009 at 9:50 am

[re=431959]Tundra Grifter[/re]: “Summer fling, don’t mean a thing, but uh-oh those Northern Lights”

Aflac Shrugged October 12, 2009 at 9:52 am

Sarah Palin is the drunken freshman who got passed around by every member of the Republican Candidate of Any Consequence frat house.

Of course, McCain is too much of a gentleman to say that his campaign hit it and quit it, in public, but as soon as they tap the first Septuagenarian Weekender kegs in the Senate offices, it’s a different story.

t_rax October 12, 2009 at 9:52 am

Juli Weiner loves her some commas,,,

jodyleek October 12, 2009 at 9:55 am

[re=431962]hobospacejunkie[/re]: If Palin’s book is a pile of shit, does that mean I can’t use it for toilet paper? Because I really wanted to use it for toilet paper. So confused.

Monsieur Grumpe October 12, 2009 at 9:56 am

Knock Knock. “Heeeeellooooooo? It’s me, Sara Palin! I’ve come to help with the campaign.” Knock, knock, knock pound, pound, pound, “Listen I know you’re in there. I saw you shut off the lights when I pulled in the driveway. Come on. I won’t say nothing stupid!”

ManchuCandidate October 12, 2009 at 10:01 am

The GOPers picked her up while drunk on Racistohol and Freedumb Beer thinking she was hot in her thigh high go-go boots and short skirts. They kept doing her as everyone else wondered what the fuck were they thinking. They were getting some and it didn’t matter if she stole from their wallets and made them look foolish at social events or briefly had a fling with that guy in Hong Kong. Hey, they were getting some! The phone calls for money, the jealous rages, the noticeable sag on her boobs and the unexplained itching down there made the GOPers finally realize they weren’t the only ones doing the screwing.

The GOPers will be sad and all till the next Palin comes down the pipe to do it all over again.

dijetlo October 12, 2009 at 10:05 am

Well, you can’t really blame him. Sarah should stay in the kitchen and raise that passel of youngens in a good Christian environment, according to Bob McDonnell. If it doesn’t involve ejaculation or the consequences there of, they’ve got no business involving themselves in it.

Cape Clod October 12, 2009 at 10:08 am

[re=431972]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Sounds like Bob McDonnell is the first Republican to take off his beer goggles.

PabaBritannica October 12, 2009 at 10:09 am

yeah, mcdonnel is prob gonna win b/c the attitude in va. is basically “we voted for change but we were tricked into thinking obama would not be such a muslim!”

Jim Demintia October 12, 2009 at 10:09 am

Oh Sarah, I lost you, I lost you to the summer wind…

Prommie October 12, 2009 at 10:15 am

She forgot that she famous for being in politics, she quit governoring to cash in on political fame, but now she ain’t in politics no more, so no more fame, no fame = no book sales, no0 book sales = no money, no money = no cash in, its like catch-22, I need to be in politics to cash in, but if I cash in, I can’t be in politics. Ya ever notice that people in showbizz sometimes move into politics, but almost never the other way?

Prommie October 12, 2009 at 10:16 am

Maybe shorter way of saying this is, McDonnel and Christie are refusing to be a part of the Palin book promotion tour.

germansteel October 12, 2009 at 10:19 am

The last thing McDonnell needs is to remind voters what batshit crazy, evangelical/pentecostal religious stupid means when you elect it governor.

nbawriter October 12, 2009 at 10:20 am

Sarah Palin is political mittelschmerz.

PabaBritannica October 12, 2009 at 10:22 am

but bob mcdonnell is one of us! he’s from virginia beach, hampton, fairfax, arlington, richmond, roanoke, charlottesvile, and tazewell county!

norbizness October 12, 2009 at 10:25 am

palinpalinpalinpalinpalinpalin mushroom

Minnie Mean October 12, 2009 at 10:28 am

I sure hope this frees up her schedule so she can come to TX and help our own Gov Good-Hair with his upcoming campaign. Yessiree! C’mon Sarah – come hike the Pecos trail with Gov Perry. Be sure to bring some boys though. He’s not that into you.

hobospacejunkie October 12, 2009 at 10:30 am

[re=431970]jodyleek[/re]: If you don’t mind getting sand in your vagina, like Palin seems to have, constantly, then go right ahead.

Doris Ziffel October 12, 2009 at 10:32 am

McDonnell spokesman Tucker Martin declined to comment except to say: “We do not anticipate Governor Palin campaigning in Virginia at this point. We appreciate her support of Bob McDonnell and her historic run as the Republican nominee for vice president.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Key word: “historic.” Translation: she’s too old.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Flanders October 12, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=431979]Prommie[/re]: nicely put.

BeWoot October 12, 2009 at 10:43 am

You people keep slagging my Sarah. I still think they should have let her keep the clothes. (Please run the beaver/cheetohs shot again!)

gurukalehuru October 12, 2009 at 10:45 am

The winner of the beauty pageant will see her beauty fade with age, but Miss Congeniality will….oh, that doesn’t work, does it?

aleks October 12, 2009 at 10:51 am

When I saw the title I knew Juli had written it. No man would see anything odd with “Despises Her, Used To Be In Love With Her”

TGY October 12, 2009 at 10:56 am

That was a long 15 minutes of fame.

Johnny Zhivago October 12, 2009 at 11:02 am

We suggest you stay up in Alaska moving some mountains around, and don’t bother coming down to Virgina.

teebob2000 October 12, 2009 at 11:19 am

>>It is simply not becoming!

OH, but it IS becoming… embarrassing to everyone involved!!

Flanders October 12, 2009 at 11:27 am

[re=431986]Minnie Mean[/re]: I for one would pay money for the video of Perry petting Palin, however.

Dreadful Gate October 12, 2009 at 11:28 am

Try to remember the size of my member and….swallow!

yargisbargis October 12, 2009 at 11:28 am

[re=431984]norbizness[/re]: You and I are probably the only people getting that reference. Palin/Skoal Rebel as Team Laser Explosion 2012.

proudgrampa October 12, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=431979]Prommie[/re]: Bingo!!!

geminisunmars October 12, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=432021]yargisbargis[/re]: Plez to esplain

Gallowglass October 12, 2009 at 11:45 am

Then we made our true love vows,
Wonder what he’s doing now?

aleks October 12, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=432029]Gallowglass[/re]: Bristol. Someone had to say it.

ifthethunderdontgetya" October 12, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=432021]yargisbargis[/re]: Ahem.
~

RoscoePColtraine October 12, 2009 at 11:56 am

“But she is a polarizing figure…”

She just needs to make clear that she doesn’t want to polarize him.

Minnie Mean October 12, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=432019]Flanders[/re]: with guns! and Uncle Ted, also.

WhatTheHeck October 12, 2009 at 11:59 am

Oh, the same way Wonkette liked looking up her skirt… years ago. Before we knew what was in her head. or what wasn’t.

Snarkalicious October 12, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=431984]norbizness[/re]: No no no. Badgers are the ones without the big, flat tails.

prizepig October 12, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=431967]t_rax[/re]:
Chapter 1 of the Wonkette Style Manual: Using run-on sentences for comedic effect

ifthethunderdontgetya" October 12, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=431983]PabaBritannica[/re]: and Ballston?
~

shypixel2 October 12, 2009 at 12:06 pm

I want to have sex with Sarah Palin’s corpse. Not because I am a necrophiliac or anything, but just because that would mean she was dead…

Crank Tango October 12, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=431964]SwanSwanH[/re]: win.

comicbookguy October 12, 2009 at 12:13 pm

[re=432046]shypixel2[/re]: Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

comicbookguy October 12, 2009 at 12:27 pm

I hope somebody accepts her help. If everyone responds like this: “No we don’t need a crazy lady endorsement today, we’re trying to win a majority of votes, not an iPod from Wonkette” then I has a sad.

Come on Republicans, get her face out there!

ladymacbeth October 12, 2009 at 12:34 pm

juli does some mighty fine sarah sassing and word-smitherhy. she should win a prize or something.

Baconbits October 12, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=432021]yargisbargis[/re]: snake!

yargisbargis October 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=432025]geminisunmars[/re]: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/Team+Laser+Explosion+5/

Enjoy all.

yargisbargis October 12, 2009 at 1:17 pm

I should add by the same folks who did the Badger Song.

Minnie Mean October 12, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Sarah joined this party: Build your own Blingee

Accordion-o-rama October 12, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=432036]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: She’s not a polarizing figure to real Americans!

Minnie Mean October 12, 2009 at 1:40 pm

[re=432127]Minnie Mean[/re]: duh!
Make your own Glitter Graphics

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 12, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Come on people. Do you think teenage sex rooms just clean themselves? Quitting Governor Palin is very busy!

Minnie Mean October 12, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=432143]Minnie Mean[/re]: sheesh – I give up. I’ll have to get my 5-year-old to post this fabulous blingee for me when he gets up from his nap. gah

Lilybart October 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm

McDonell’s college thesis is all about his religious extremism and while he runs away from THAT, he also has to run from Miss Wasilla, who will tell everyone she LOVED his thesis and supports him 100%.

But then, the others don’t want her either.

I think the word went out that moosepucky is about to hit the fan.

aleks October 12, 2009 at 2:45 pm

[re=432201]Lilybart[/re]: Perhaps McDonnell’s thesis can be an appendix to Going Rouge?

Click October 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

[re=431979]Prommie[/re]: Yep.

cashaholic October 12, 2009 at 3:06 pm

“The Governor”!! Eat my shorts, Alaska racist redneck ignoramuses.

comicbookguy October 12, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Just wait. Redstate is about to take over the party and then Caribou Barbie will be campaigning for everyone, whether they like it or not.

villageatrois October 12, 2009 at 10:16 pm

She just wants on a payroll, any payroll. Lots of Real Merkins are going through that. But the Real Merkins didn’t just quit their six-figure jobs with those perkey perks.

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