VERY PRECIOUS  4:52 pm October 9, 2009

Arnold Schwarzenegger Going Through Difficult Phase

by Jim Newell

He finds that if he can just make a list of three modest things to accomplish each day, and then accomplish those things, then the day will have been a success, and he can be happy and won’t have to drink so much at night. [Twitter/Arnold Schwarzenegger via SFist]


Hola wonkerados.

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mephistopheles jefferson October 9, 2009 at 4:56 pm

Eef Ah can jus eet de fayce of a fahnnie-looookeeng mahn, eet gets me hahppy fo de rest uh de daie.

Fox n Fiends October 9, 2009 at 4:57 pm

its the steroids

AxmxZ October 9, 2009 at 4:59 pm

The “phase” is called “old age.”

Suds McKenzie October 9, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Arnolds TTD List:

1) Crush your enemies.
2) See them driven before you.
3) Hear the lamentation of their women.

SayItWithWookies October 9, 2009 at 5:00 pm

SFist is a very unfortunate choice of abbreviations.

chascates October 9, 2009 at 5:04 pm

That’s a pretty healthy=looking breakfast. I would imagine he actually eats several brauts, some fried potatoes, a couple of fried eggs, and a dark bock. At least that’s one of my favorites.

S.Luggo October 9, 2009 at 5:06 pm

Fruit, glass of beer, a cigar, and something with rabbit pellets on it. I start my day the same way.

S.Luggo October 9, 2009 at 5:06 pm

[re=431324]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Win.

AnnieGetYourFun October 9, 2009 at 5:06 pm

I can promise you that thinking of nice things and accomplishing stuff does not actually end up affecting how much you need to drink at night.

Downtheroadapiece October 9, 2009 at 5:07 pm

[re=431327]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I think they second guessed it when they fist concocted it. But then said ‘Ah f&#k it, this is San Francisco you know.’

Dave J. October 9, 2009 at 5:08 pm

[not pictured: huge spliff]

iantenna October 9, 2009 at 5:08 pm

apparently our governor is kathy geiss.

Downtheroadapiece October 9, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Anyone have the stones to tell Ahnie his brekkie is for girlie men?

Didn’t think so.

Extemporanus October 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm

[re=431327]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Schwarzenegger puts the “S” in “SFist”, and the “fist” in the “Shriver”.

user-of-owls October 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm

That’s funny. My Wellbutrin isn’t colored blue.

WickedWitch October 9, 2009 at 5:11 pm

[re=431341]S.Luggo[/re]: I agree.

slappypaddy October 9, 2009 at 5:13 pm

so this eating of something smiling at you, this is a teutonic thing?

Extemporanus October 9, 2009 at 5:15 pm

It’s nice to see that Arnold starts his day off in much the same way as SkoalRebel:

A mess o’ grits, a big bowl of under-the-counter pharmaceuticals, and a piping hot dip spit double latte.

Dicentra October 9, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=431362]slappypaddy[/re]: My first thought was that he’s so lonely that he needs an Oatmeal Friend. Whom he then viciously BETRAYS.

Smoke Filled Roommate October 9, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=431363]Extemporanus[/re]: A jerry-rigged breakfast.

x111e7thst October 9, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Dexamyl is good for breakfast, but I’m having trouble getting it these days and have to make due with adderall + fioricet. Life is hard sometimes.

ScaredShitless October 9, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Wait, is that a Bloody Mary?

hobospacejunkie October 9, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Arnold already agreed to not go after all the money Enron stole ($7-$8 billion) as a condition of being elected, so his reward awaits upon his leaving office. Probably in the form of strenous speaking engagements at $100,000 a pop.

Extemporanus October 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

[re=431379]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: It’s so soft and warm, like a shart.

shortsshortsshorts October 9, 2009 at 5:40 pm

This pretty much explains the budget crisis.

assistant/atlas October 9, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Why the hell did we ever think it would be a good idea to have Arnold Schwarzenegger as our Governor?

Less playing with your food, more fixing the goddam state. Kthxbai.

SmutBoffin October 9, 2009 at 5:46 pm

What’s in that glass? Beer and Weight-Gain 3000 formula?

user-of-owls October 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=431387]ScaredShitless[/re]: [re=431415]SmutBoffin[/re]: Duh, Arnold? It’s robot juice.

SmutBoffin October 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=431363]Extemporanus[/re]: I once had a proud redneck acquaintance who would would sometimes eat fried onions seasoned with (swear to G-d) Skoal Wintergreen. He would think that Huckabee’s squirrel stew was effete. He also once said to me: “Ya know, when I first started chewin’ I used to spit.” He didn’t use a spit-cup, and didn’t seem to need one.

Snarkalicious October 9, 2009 at 6:29 pm

What’s the Vegas line on whether he eats it or just cums on it. Cuz I got a fiver burnin a hole in my pocket.

Picture the options.

Have a nice weekend.

liquiddaddy October 9, 2009 at 6:38 pm

That’s a man desperate to have a BM as one of the three things.

yargisbargis October 9, 2009 at 6:40 pm

The berry diversity caucus expresses concern over the governor’s overt discrimination.

Extemporanus October 9, 2009 at 6:50 pm

[re=431423]SmutBoffin[/re]: Hey man, don’t hock it ’til ya try it.

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2009 at 7:06 pm

[re=431423]SmutBoffin[/re]: Did your redneck friend die of throat cancer or stomach cancer?

Smoke Filled Roommate October 9, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=431327]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I was thinking more along the lines of ‘Sfist, like ‘Swonderful.

Fred Wertham Jr. October 9, 2009 at 8:17 pm

There’s the problem right there, Arnie. Your breakfast is backwards. That could fuck you up for the whole day.

edgydrifter October 9, 2009 at 10:14 pm

He keeps the Conan sword beside his desk and he gets smiley faces on his Uberflakes. I fucking love this guy.

the problem child October 9, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Too much fibre. Girly man.

Long Form Def Certificate October 9, 2009 at 10:44 pm

Schwarzenegger really is a new Reagan.

krooskie October 9, 2009 at 11:03 pm

Aww, I feel sorry for him. Maybe he can watch those old Nixon/Humphrey debate tapes he used to talk about so much to cheer him up.

Jim89048 October 10, 2009 at 2:02 am

Sweet baby sky jeebus, I tried to warn everyone, but would they listen to me? Fuck no. Voting against him was my last act of disobedience before leaving CA…

schvitzatura October 10, 2009 at 5:02 am

The Oliver Peoples Riley horn-rims and sparkly highlighter?

Why, he’s nothing but a girly man!

Breakfast should have been a heaping dish of kaiserschmarrn with a Davidoff Dom PĂ©rignon Churchill chaser.

Sacramento has not been good to you, Ahnold…

zhubajie October 10, 2009 at 5:03 am

I guess he’s discovered that real life isn’t like in the movies.

Mavky October 10, 2009 at 8:00 am

The oatmeal looks deranged and could use that spoon as a weapon, possibly as revenge for Jingle All The Way.

alzronnie October 10, 2009 at 9:38 am

1. Sit for Botox touch-up.

2. Choose hairpiece.

3. Eat bag of dicks.

coolcatdaddy October 10, 2009 at 10:14 am

The only thing that Arnold’s happy breakfast is missing is a kitten screaming “ME NO WANT!”.

MrsNateSilver October 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=431688]schvitzatura[/re]: hold on, just googling “Oliver Peoples Riley”…ah, I see, available at Saks, hmmm, um…schvitzatura are you actually Peggy Noona??? Cmon, tell us the truth.

Uncle Glenny October 10, 2009 at 6:45 pm

That’s weisebier in the glass. DenisMN really should just get himself some lube and jerk off.

Captain Swing October 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm

He won office by attracting the votes of people in Fantasyland.

He made grand speeches (well, sort of), to the rapturous applause of the same dipshits.

The very first time he faced the reality of political office, he sprayed the room with his fake machine gun… and no-one fell down.

It’s been all down hill from there.

Scooter October 11, 2009 at 2:48 am

1. Kicken den Exercisemachinen.
2. Ficken die Kalifornialeute.
3. Licken die Mariaarsche.

alkybookworm October 11, 2009 at 3:40 pm

So what’s in the glass? A urine smoothie?

Sleeves October 11, 2009 at 10:50 pm


prizepig October 12, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Healthy breakfast? Check!
Reading glasses? Check!
Important Papers? Check!
Jewel incrusted dildo? Check!


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