metro section

Have You Signed Your ‘Real World’ STD Waiver Yet? Oh, You Simply Must

Add to Flipboard Magazine.
  • Before you appear on a reality tee-vee program, make sure to read the STD clause in your release very carefully. Very very carefully. Because MTV will not fix your genitals if you dry-hump a love sack and then contract the crotch rot. Contractually, MTV is simply not responsible. It’s in your contract, understand? Good. Now sign here please. [Washington Examiner]
  • Please stop randomly shooting your glock or desert eagle or blunderbuss or whatever. You are lowering the property value in Petworth! [Prince of Petworth]
  • Re: big black cocks. If you hang around Union Station, they will come. [Holla Back DC]
  • Anna Karenina meets Woyzeck meets generic detective novel meets the Washington Redskins. Basically the saddest thing you will ever read, ever. [Washington Examiner]
  • The SDS (aka “75 high schoolers who skipped gym class”) marched around McPherson Square in celebration of Barack Obama’s Peace Prize. [DCist]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Mahousu

    Was that crotch rot or couch rot?

    Because of the love sacks, you see. A furniture joke. Ha ha.

    I wonder if Dancing with the Stars uses the same contract? And is The Hammer now finding this out to his regret?

  • zhubajie

    What if you get crabs from another reality show person? That’s part of reality, isn’t it?