Wonkette
- HEY GAYS, HERE’S A ‘BIG VICTORY’ FOR YOU: HA: “WASHINGTON — An administration official says President Barack Obama plans to nominate an openly gay lawyer as the United States’ ambassador to New Zealand and American Samoa.” Ooh, big important job there! Even George W. Bush’s first openly gay ambassador appointee was for Romania, which is somehow gutsier. They have so many homophobic vampires there, just really dangerous. [AP]
Why do we need an ambassador to American Samoa? It’s OUR SAMOA! WE OWN MOSI TATUPU!
Ooh, I can imagine the impassioned reactions to this in Kiwiland. There may be a shrug, or perhaps a wry smile. Perhaps someone will crack a non-homophobic joke about it.
What will Carrie Prejean say?
norbizness: The American Samoa post is just to annoy Pat Robertson. Since God already punished American Samoa with an earthquake and tsunami, he figures it’s safe to send gays there now. Kinda like when that plane crashed into the house in The World According to Garp.
Anything to get them out of the country.
We’ll be the laughing stock of the south pacific
Sure, give ‘em an ambassadorship to the country named after a Girl Scout cookie. Nothing the least bit gay about that, nosiree.
Lazy Media: Considering how totally gay Samwise was for Frodo, there’s really not much Peter Jackson and the rest of those furry-footed Fauxstralians can say about, now is there?
Dracula was so ghey. Biting is metaphorical for fucking. Don’t you guys watch any of those new sexy vampire shows on teevee?
But, New Zealand? TOTAL WIN. And no gypsies, as a bonus.
Seems like New Zealand should rate it’s very own ambassador. But a better choice for the gay ambassador would be Saudi Arabia.
I am not gay, but Barney Frank could totally have his way with me if it would get me named Ambassador to New Zealand.
Where will they hide all those sheep?
blader: Not if he’s finally able to track down bin Laden, who’s been holed-up all this time in a cave near Bora Bora. Then he will be a Gay American Hero.
New Zealand? Really? The country that inspired Aldous Huxley to let it be the sole survivor of a fictional Nuclear Armageddon because it held “no strategic importance”? Seriously, we’ve got the Flight of the Conchords here in the ‘States already, what’s the point of keeping that place around?
HipHopOpotamus:
The fruit maybe? I like the fruit.
after seein’ a few new zealand women, this one is sure to turn
‘House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) and House GOP Conference Chairman Mike Pence (R-Ind.) are voting against the House/Senate fiscal year 2010 defense authorization bill — because it contains hate crimes provisions designed to protect gays and lesbians. ‘
So they’re OK with our ambassadors being targeted while working for our interests?
Nobody else could stand the 14-hour flight.
bitchincamaro: Baaahaha! They are sooo fucked!
HoboNutz: Have you seen the Samoan men? He’s going to be just fine.
HipHopOpotamus: We may have Flight of the Conchords but until we have Ginger Balls himself as president we cannot rest.
New Zealand? Well, it’ll be a switch from the sheep-fuckers we normally appoint.
“Please, sir, may I have Samoa?” [/Oliver Twist]
But isn’t New Zealand the gayest non-European country already?
I’m pretty sure American Samoa burned down, fell over and then sank into the swamp last week.
Anyway NZ’s very nice.
Don’t poke a sleeping dragon, Obama. When Trudeau sent Mark Slackmeyer and Chase to Samoa (to get all gay married), all the volcanoes blew up. Someone have a link?
Rats - I was hoping it would be James Hormel - heir to the meat packing fortune (fudge came later). He almost got Fiji from BillyBob Clinton, but for the fact that in Fiji rogering is punishable with some unsexy jailtime. NZ bonus, though, are the Moari tattoos.
Mull_Man: Just noticed the Mr. Hormel was an ambassador - to Luxemburg ‘99-01, which makes sense. Because they speak gay there, and the restaurants are absolutely fab.
blader: Why not? We’re the laughingstock everywhere else.
We have ambassadors that are gay?
Well, well, we can’t have that, now can we.
It might scare the horses.
Especially if they’re Andrew Sullivan….
bitchincamaro: Where will they hide all those sheep?
No, no, no! It’s straight guys who do sheep.
I thought American Samoa washed away, like Niue did a few years ago (which I imagine will also fall under his ambassadorship).
Obama could appoint a gay person to the Supreme Court and it wouldn’t make up for his position on DADT.
Wow, it’s so great that you’re throwing a meaningless bone to TEH GHEYS, Obama. Really swell of you.
Or you could, you know, get off your ass and repeal DADT like you said you would already.
Gay ambassador to Thailand — best job ever!
Kiwi here:
1) Yes, you can keep the over-exposed and under-talented Rhys “Ginger Balls” Darby;
2) Have you seen the US embassy in Wellington? It’s built like Mad Max’s mediaeval castle. Anti-tank bollards outside and everything. Obviously they fear the few dozen hippies who can be found out there protesting every weekend.
3) The ambassador’s going to be disappointed. Wellington’s got one gay nightclub. [b]One.[/b] Auckland has a whole street of them.
4) Everyone knows that Sydney, Australia, is the gayest place in the world outside Europe.
If American Samoa is American, why do they get an ambassador? Do you mean the independant half of Samoa?
The previous ambassadors to NZ were extremely unpopular, on account of GM crops.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: It is the California of the Commonwealth, in all kinds of ways.
I’d love to be named ambassador to New Zealand. I hear the whitewater is great there.
New Zealander’s speech is like if you took an Australian and told them to suck on a lime while talking. It’s the most pinched version of English I’ve ever heard, and that says something (ever heard South African English? Crikey!)