Wonkette
What new, innovative methods are there to be a Republican candidate — a REAL MERKN R’pubkin — nowadays? The base expects you to be just like them. This dude has an idea: “[Dave] Westlake is the Republican challenger to Democratic incumbent Russ Feingold of Wisconsin. Westlake says he’ll be wearing his bright orange hunting gear to every campaign appearance leading up to the 2010 election.” Then he’ll wear it in the Senate, just as a “fuck you” to, uh, spending. [AP]
There is something fundamentally wrong with the Midwest.
Here in Texass we wear real camo, not that orangey girly man stuff:
http://www.lullabyebaby.com/baby_camouflage.htm
And no cheese hats, neither.
Have the Wisconsin republicans already chosen Feingold’s opponent a year on advance? That doesn’t strike me as particularly sound strategy. Which is why it’s perfectly believable.
Can we convince the REAL MERKN to wear a real merkin? Camo optional.
MLHencken:
I believe that a “merkin” is a pubic wig?
(Dude on Adam Corolla’s podcast is my cite).
chascates: They wear orange camo in Wisconsin to blend in with the traffic cones and construction barriers associated with year-round road construction.
If we’re going by campaign gimmicks, I’ll take the guy who makes his staffers pay for their cocktail weenies when provided by lobbyists over the retarded gun fetishist who likes to play dress up.
I’m sure Westlake will enjoy great success with the carrying-assault-weapons-to-town-halls demographic. With reasoning humans, maybe not so much.
You know, I’d say there is something fundamentally RIGHT
with my state and my Senator Feingold
Is that my bomb in the picture? Have I just been outed as Ronald McDonald?
How much has Bass Pro given in donations to his campaign?
The Republicans are so fucking stupid that they are now embracing the notion that stupid fucking clothes will help get them elected.
I wear Vans high-tops with peace signs all over them, but I ain’t running for office either.
That gives us fair warning that there’s a republican jackass up ahead, I guess.
Is there something in the baby formula republican moms give their kids here or something? Some ritual blows to the head* they all endure before entering political life? What is it that makes them this way? They’re all just fucking deranged.
*perhaps a poor turn of phrase given the political party in question, but there it is.
republicans are reavers.
dress like them too.
Grean and Grey camo is for home grown terrorists to hide in the bushes and scrub. REAL AMERICANS (TM) wear bright orange.
Besides, any Midwesterner can tell you that is a major faux pas not to dress appropriately for the Wisconsin social season.
All Westlake needs to do now is become a world curling champion, and he’ll have this election locked up.
The Great Pumpkin and his lawyers would like to talk to you, Westlake.
Yaybuls: There used to be a law in San Francisco disallowing the showing of pubic hair by strippers. Instead they wore merkins, thus looking like they had pubic hair but were also obeying the law. Modern strippers mostly shave their nethers so this would no longer work.
His entire stump speech will consist of two short squawks on a duck call.
Precious pink camo is available here:
http://www.thecamoshop.com/camo-diaper-bags/
It’s not too late to get something for SKS’s Lil Trucknutz.
Dave’s website is quite inspiring: http://www.davewestlake.org/
His large head is “Ready to Fight… to Lead… to Win!”
I remember watching a Packers-Buccaneers game about 10 years on the teevee. As they came back from commercial, and the blimp shot slowly panned over Lambeau Field and its huddled, frostbitten, entirely orange-clad crowd at Lambeau Field, the announcer (Madden?) solemnly intoned, “Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the World’s Largest Duck Blind.”
The Packers really should’ve changed their colors to day-glo orange camo years ago. It’s all anyone wears in the winter (and fall, and spring, and summer) up there anyway.
Westlake will also:
* Not eat anything but beer-battered cheese curds for the entire campaign
* Sponsor debates at the House on the Rock and Tommy Bartlett’s Robot World
* Blow all of his campaign dough at Ho-Chunk
* Pretend to care about cranberry subsidies
* Molest cows
* Lose to Feingold
From the future: “Republican Senate candidate Dave Westlake was killed today after a tragic accident involving a merkin and a gallon of moose musk.”
He says he wants people to be able to find him.
He’s a republican, why does he think it will be hard to find him? Just look in any Chuck E Cheese or cub scout meeting.
chascates: To be fair, everyone wears the orange up there during hunting season. Farmers get shot off their tractors if they don’t.
“I swear officer, he looked like an elk!”
Extemporanus: I will refrain from posting comments longer than 20 words until I’m able to gain control of my grammarical assbilities.
Flaming asshole to wear blaze organge everyday. Where’s the news here?
All the easier for Cheney to find him during the big quail hunt.
Gopherit: Folks down here wear blinded green & orange camo while hunting on public land as it is safer. Shoot first and take a really good luck is the norm here.
Go WORT-FM in Madison!
Evil Dr. Puma:
During one of his many campaigns for President, Adlai Stevenson (D-IL) was stopped by a supporter who told him, “Mr. Stevenson, you have the vote of every thinking man in this country.”
Without missing a beat Stevenson replied, “Thank you, sir, but I need a majority to win.”
Coming after Russ in Madison is like coming after a oxy-stuffed sausage on Rush Limbaugh’s dinner plate. This asshole might as well be running for Mayor of Chicago.
WI is just trying to outcrazy MN. But it’ll be damn hard for this guy to match Michelle Bachmann.
Packers fans are feeling stabby these days:
http://www.startribune.com/local/63722707.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUnciaec8O7EyUsl
If he stands next to Boner, how shall we tell them apart?
Orange camo. Orange. Camo. Why does this not work for me?
Maybe it’s to blend in with…the cheese?
Additionally, good luck with that, Rainbow-Not-Very-Bright. Even the Republicans in WI grudgingly don’t exactly really totally always want to hatefuck on Russ.
chascates: GO! I lived right across the street from WORT back in the day.
Palin/Westlake 2012!!!!!
If it wants to get any mileage with this, he’ll need to take a cue from Prince Mongo and don goggles and a blonde hippie fright wig.
He says he wants people to be able to find him.
As if the big mouth and the putrid smell emanating from it aren’t revealing enough.
caieva:
Let’s see if you all re-elect him first.
Native of SL UT: There is a long history of politicans play-acting the “man of the people” role by dressing down or by using some symbol and of voters buying the act. William Henry Harrison got elected on his “born in a log cabin” slogan even though he was really born in a brick Virginia plantation house. Fred Thompson was so transparently acting at being a common man that he leased a red pickup truck to drive around Tennessee for his senate campaign; after winning he quickly returned the truck and got back into his chauffer-driven Town Car and his $5,000 Armani suits.
Native of SL UT: It worked for Lamar Alexander. Him and his stupid red-flannel shirt, and “walking across the state” stunt got him two terms as governor of Tennessee. And now every retard has to find a way to top him.
What an asshole. Sounds like a really stupid gimmic and I wonder how much hunting does he really do? Real deer hunters don’t really like to wear orange, they have to by regulation. Other hunters don’t wear the shit at all (deer can’t see color, most other game can).
Haha, I was in Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago. Overheard at a Subway, an anguished conversation about love, loyalty and loss, the context being Bret Favre. This is one seriously fucked up state.
Sheesh, what a bunch of big city elitists. Hunting orange is the opposite of camo. You wear camo to blend in. You wear orange to stand out. When there are thousands of drunk rednecks running around the woods with deer rifles, you want to make damn sure you’re wearing orange whenever you set foot outside the door. In Wisconsin last year, some stupid fucker shot his own 8 yr old son in the chest because he thought he was a turkey. If you’re going to wear camo during hunting season, you may as well paint a target on your chest.
Boehner, Crist and now Westlake. See a pattern here?
Don’t look in the rear view mirror South Karolina, they catchin’ up.
That’s not enough! Any faggot can dress up in orange hunting clothes, but it takes a real man to pack a couple shotguns, an assault rifle, criss-crossed bandoleros, and a bunch of grenades at every campaign event. Now that’d be somebody every patriot would want in the Senate!
BadKitty: To be fair, 8 year-old boys are delicious.
Especially when they’re served with a side of stuffing, a few brussel sprouts, some cranberry sauce, and a cheese-topped twice-baked potato.
Good luck. Russ Feingold is crafted from a single aged cheddar block of pure fucking awesome, and will be Senator until senility sets it.
Extemporanus: But by the time you field dress them, there’s really not much meat there. Unless you’ve been fattening him up by letting him play video games all day, most 8 yr boys are mostly skin and bones.
Terry: You really have no fucking idea what Madison is like.
WadISay: To be fair, it’s just one fucked up state in a seriously fucked up country.
Sussemilch:
haha yeah - a very fine cheese he is. 16 years and counting in The Senate,
and as he survived his NO vote on the Patriot act, which no-one, even he,
thought he would when re-election rolled around,
nothing will get him this time.
The republicans here are gunning for the Governorship anyway, as our Dem Gov Doyle is retiring.
And yes - orange is the opposit of camo - good thing to Blaze when you are on horseback come November!
Native of SL UT: It worked for ex-Governor Lee Dreyfus and his red vest.
That said, how many elected officials in UT don’t wear The Magic Underpants?
WadISay: Packermania is one thing, but Madison is like another planet compared to rural Wisconsin, or even blue-collar Milwaukee, which will still vote for Feingold over this chump. Seriously, if you ran for city council in that place on a platform of making parking tickets smokeable, you’d win.
hahahaha he is literally 11 years old
When can we have more adults like Feingold run for office? This guy is acting like the class clown and running for class president.
I like to think of Russ Feingold as my Senator, just because my mom lives in Milwaukee and I am stuck with Feinstein out here in CA. I love you Russ! I sent you $25.00, also.
You think this is funny, Republican Congressman Pete “Giving Away Military Location” Hoekstra is riding his bike all across state (in tight biking gear, to boot) in his run for Michigan governor.
Anyone else remember that episode of The Sopranos where Christopher and Paulie get lost in the snow after their encounter with the Russian mobster, and call Tony Soprano for help. One of Tony’s goombahs shows up all decked out in his hunting gear. Tony takes one look at him and starts to laugh. We can only hope…
Why don’t we encourage all the congresscritters to shoot each other,in duels or whatever? Everyone benefits, no matter what.