THE LEGISLATIVE BRANCH  11:40 am October 8, 2009

Lame Joe Lieberman And Russ Feingold Are Still So Into The Czar Meme!

by Juli Weiner

Joe Lieberman, the actual human equivalent of a chain letter forwarded to you by your grandparents, has a very important tuff-guy job as chair of the Homeland Security Committee. And he’ll tell ya, he does not like Obama’s coterie of czars, not one bit. He’ll probably hold some trenchant as shit hearings about the hated czars, or maybe draft some heroic legislation that forbids the President from appointing policy experts. Russ Feingold is down for whatever, so he’s in too! And don’t think he won’t look up “czar” in the dictionary, because he WILL and he HAS.

Feingold read what appears to be a rough draft of a sixth grader’s essay during the very important legislative branch persecution hearing yesterday:

“But historically a czar is an autocrat, and it’s not surprising that some Americans feel uncomfortable about supposedly all-powerful officials taking over areas of the government.”

BAM. Joe Lieberman, can you please legislate that devastating critique into law?? IMMEDIATELY??

“Leslie Phillips, a spokesperson for Lieberman’s committee, confirms by email that Lieberman’s legislation is ‘in the early conceptual stage.’ She also said a hearing is in the works, with its schedule up the air until the committee can nail down witnesses.”

Haha “witnesses”—Joe Lieberman, America is going to criminalize YOU for being so adorable!

[The Caucus, The Plum Line]

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Advocatus_Diaboli October 8, 2009 at 11:44 am

So when did appointing policy experts in the executive branch (aka “czars”) become a bad thing? Oh that’s right, when the keys to the whitehouse were handed over to a black man.

MLHencken October 8, 2009 at 11:44 am

Droopy Dawg wants to make sure NOONE will enjoy blintzes, samovars or anything that has a vague Russian antecedent.

Pithaughn October 8, 2009 at 11:44 am

Is that hussy in the butter ad wearing a sheer skirt? It sure looks like the untrimmed garden I would expect between those thunder thighs.

norbizness October 8, 2009 at 11:44 am

“What about the three-quarters of a trillion dollars we’re throwing down the Pentagon sinkhole every year?”

“Nah, ‘czar’ is shorter and easier to remember.”

ManchuCandidate October 8, 2009 at 11:45 am

The irony of a Pogrom on Czars.

OReillysVibrator October 8, 2009 at 11:47 am

I’d rather there be too much Senate inquiries into at least debatable executive branch activities than too little. This won’t cripple their functions, and it’s a win-win for the senators: Feingold gets to mug for the civil liberty crowd, and Joe Lieberman gets to fulfill his contractual obligation to be a miserable piece of excrement at least once a week.

freakishlystrong October 8, 2009 at 11:47 am

Vinegar Joe is just pissy because if Walnuts had somehow manged to steal the election he’d be a czar now.

Chain Tattoo October 8, 2009 at 11:48 am

Lieberman in the “early conceptual stage, eh?
He looks a bit old and wrinkled to be an embryo, but he does have the psychological capacity of one. Perhaps that is what spokesperson Leslie Phillips meant. And we would all agree.

JMP October 8, 2009 at 11:48 am

Man, it’s so great that the ballless Senate Dems allowed this man to keep his committee chairmanships, even though he campaigned for McCain. Now he’s showing his true colors again by spreading bullshit right-wing memes.

memzilla October 8, 2009 at 11:48 am

Lieberman protesting against czars = “No one asked me to be one (sniff) (whine) (pule).”

chascates October 8, 2009 at 11:50 am

Make Joe Israel Czar and it’ll all be good.

AbstinenceOnly Ed October 8, 2009 at 11:53 am

I’d like to nail Leslie Phillips “up the air” via email, if ya know whad I mean, which you don’t, but I won’t elaborate, as my salacious quip is still in a formative stage, i.e. the comedy equivalent of a homo habilis.

SayItWithWookies October 8, 2009 at 11:53 am

‘The early conceptual stages’ — so that means they really have no idea what kind of law they can pass to say that the president can’t hire people. Probably mostly because they can’t define “czar,” since that’s nobody’s actual title and many of them get confirmed by the Senate and they’re just advisors at various positions within the Executive branch. But way to go, dumbasses, for taking on this important issue.

Mr Blifil October 8, 2009 at 11:58 am

All Czars shall be shot, and it shall be an holocaust.

Cocktoastin October 8, 2009 at 12:01 pm

What a completely worthless sack of shit. This should be an argument for eliminating some of the advantages for the incumbents in Congress. Grandpa Joe can’t even be bothered to mail it in anymore.

magic titty October 8, 2009 at 12:01 pm

I’m sorry – haven’t we heard about these fake czars in every President’s cabinet since oh I don’t know fucking forever? Such as drug czars, etc.

Gah. Barry needs to appoint a Get Off My Dick Czar. This insanity is just mind-melding now.

WhatTheHeck October 8, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Give Joe the title of Czar of Nothing. Then he’ll forever be known as Who-czar.

AbstinenceOnly Ed October 8, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Robert Byrd doesn’t mind czars too much. He knew Tsar Alexander II personally, and he wasn’t a bad guy altogether, though that Rasputin feller always hangin’ around did seem a little jewy.

Cocktoastin October 8, 2009 at 12:13 pm

This should guarantee him a spot on Fox this weekend. I can just imagine the loving tongue bath Rupert’s boys will deliver.

Mustang October 8, 2009 at 12:15 pm

Anagram for Lieberman I REBEL MAN. Which is irony at its nadir. It should be an anagram for I SAY AND DO WHATEVER IS POLITICALLY POPULAR.

artpepper October 8, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Oh please please introduce a bill to rename White Russians “freedom cocktails.”

Johnny Zhivago October 8, 2009 at 12:17 pm

The solution is to appoint an overarchingly powerful Czar of Czars to watch over the Czars and insure they remain all powerful only within their specific area of responsibility.

With their strong knowledge of history, you have to expect conservatives to be upset at the thought of dozens of czars and czarinas dancing around the White House, they way they did back in oletime Russia.

Sort of like the way they fancy those two BFF’s Josef Stalin and Adolph Hiter sitting around Bertesgarten telling jokes, sipping cold ones and watching American movies together.

Sweet Baby Cheeses October 8, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Note to Feingold–if you find yourself in agreement with Joe Lieberman, you’re probably being wrong or more likely, dumb. BONUS HINT: If the Fox News crowd is screaming the loudest about the particular issue, than it’s not only wrong and dumb, it’s probably a complete fucking lie.

Dreadful Gate October 8, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Joo Lieberfuck is a bloated sack of decaying rat’s intestines, and every time he speaks, feces dribble down his chin

sezme October 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Silly Leslie Phillips! There are no (surviving) witnesses. Maybe try Anastasia?

And Juli … alt-text? You really do care about us? Sniff.

Norbert October 8, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Fire the czars! We the People demand Soviets!

p.s. Yo, Feingold, what the fuck. Unless you are planning ahead/establishing precedent for congressional oversight for when Pres. Romney appoints Sarah Palin Czarina of Reproduction in 2012.

Monsieur Grumpe October 8, 2009 at 12:33 pm

“Joe Lieberman, the actual human equivalent of a chain letter forwarded to you by your grandparents,”

Just beautiful Juli and alt text also!
I’m in love with you. Will you father my babies?

An Outhouse October 8, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Anagram for Lieberman: Mrs. Leiberman’s exploding bowels.

okay, not an anagram. shoot me.

nappyduggs October 8, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Sooooo, we’re gonna have to trade in teabaggers for Bolsheviks?

chascates October 8, 2009 at 12:39 pm

[re=429540]An Outhouse[/re]: Great image, tho!

Naked Bunny with a Whip October 8, 2009 at 12:43 pm

All White House employees will now have to get Senate approval, including interns, prostitutes, and the President.

Evil Dr. Puma October 8, 2009 at 12:43 pm

That shot makes Holy Joe look like a stoned gnome.

liquiddaddy October 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm

They are both Jewish, and czars are scary gollems. Imagine what Roland Burris would say if Obama appointed 33 policy grand kleegles? Or, Jim Nighthorse Campbell if there were 33 policy cowboys?

tootsieroll October 8, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=429538]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: except I get them forwarded from my parents. So while funny snark, it re-enforces how old I am.

And Joe sucks. Also.

grendel October 8, 2009 at 12:47 pm

[re=429495]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yakov Smirnoff says: In Russia Czars have pogrom on you

V572625694 October 8, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Lieberman’s greatest crime against government and the people was the creation of the Department of Homeland Security, which sucks in every conceivable way:

(1) The name sounds Germanisch, fascist, tribal. Americans don’t have a “homeland.” Huns and Italians do.
(2) He’s merged together every conceivable agency from the Coast Guard to INS into an unmanageable bureaucratic clusterfuck that will never be untangled, because he chairs the “oversight” committee and likes the frequent diverse blowjobs he gets from the many agencies.
(3) Tom Ridge, more or less appointed by Joe because why not.
(4) Chip Hawley, the Czar of Taking Off Your Shoes to get on an airplanes.

Plus Lieberman is a total whore for Israel, delivering all the goodies on their wishlist year after year.

Plus his wife’s name is Hadassah.

Plus his voice makes me glad Al Gore lost, so we get to hear less of it, but still too much.

Joshua Norton October 8, 2009 at 12:49 pm

So if they’re Czars do they get free Faberge Eggs?

And since when are Repiggies and their cheerleaders against being autocratic? The very thought of it keeps them fapping into the wee hours of the morning.

Evil Dr. Puma October 8, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=429556]Joshua Norton[/re]: “And since when are Repiggies and their cheerleaders against being autocratic?”

Since a black man was elected President.

schvitzatura October 8, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Obama will thusly organize a Loya Jirga of the Vigintisexviri-kaiser-satraps, just to really piss off Droopy Dawg.

Joshua Norton October 8, 2009 at 12:57 pm

Lieberman’s legislation is ‘in the early conceptual stage.’

A more polite way of saying that old shit-for-brains is not only completely clueless, but he’s as lost as Atlantis about the whole thing.

chascates October 8, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=429540]An Outhouse[/re]: Actually, Leiberman’s Exploding Bowels would be a fantastic name for a band.

bitchincamaro October 8, 2009 at 1:00 pm

[re=429540]An Outhouse[/re]: C-z-a-r is worth 15 points in Scrabble; Lieberman 13. Advantage: Czars

El Pinche October 8, 2009 at 1:02 pm

I can’t wait until 2012 when they kick old Joe in his fake Democratic cunt.

samsuncle October 8, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Ssssh! Don’t wake sleepy Joe, he’s having sweet dreams of his Anus Csar Lindsey.

Joshua Norton October 8, 2009 at 1:11 pm

If I was a Czar, I’d have Riley be Rasputin. How cool would that be?

Birdcrash October 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Leiberman is the man for whom the word “putz” was invented.

Prommie October 8, 2009 at 1:16 pm

“Advisors” with autocratic, unlimited power too. . . advise. Scary.

Since when did the US Amurrica start taking its habitual hyperbole literally? A Denny’s “grand slam” is not a 4 run homer, Tom Delay is not actually a “hammer,” and by “eat a bag of dicks, Joe,” all we really mean is “die, fucking die, fucking die a humiliating, messy, and public death, you piece of shit.”

chascates October 8, 2009 at 1:19 pm

[re=429581]Joshua Norton[/re]: Make Juli Grand Duchess Anastasia too.

TGY October 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Appoint Joe Lieberman as Anti-czar.

ManchuCandidate October 8, 2009 at 1:42 pm

A Denny’s Grand Slam is a 4 flusher though.

notwavingbutdrowning October 8, 2009 at 1:46 pm

[re=429534]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: I know. It is like Russ somehow wandered into the fun house and can’t find the way out. Run Russ Run! Run for your life!!!

Juli: “Joe Lieberman, the actual human equivalent of a chain letter forwarded to you by your grandparents” [HA!]

comicbookguy October 8, 2009 at 1:47 pm

[re=429636]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You will be running to home plate, yes.

ifthethunderdontgetya" October 8, 2009 at 2:16 pm

[re=429503]JMP[/re]: Great point. Given how pathetic their 60 vote majority has proven to be, what exactly was the payoff for letting this shill have any seniority at all, let alone a committee chair?

To hell with Holy Joe. Give it to Al Franken, at least he’s worth something.

hobospacejunkie October 8, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Someone please kick Lieberman in the teeth, with a horse.

PoignancySelz October 8, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Yeah, but don’t we all feel safer knowing our yarmulked hero is watching over a useless bureaucracy that was spawned as a knee-jerk, paranoid overreaction to 911 — never to be unraveled.
This is why I am for sterile, legal, uterine curettage.
“early conceptual stages”…ABORT!

DustBowlBlues October 8, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Oklahomans are dumb as a bag of hammers, which is why Inhofe and Spooky Doktor Tom are senators. What’s Connecticut’s excuse?

durn October 8, 2009 at 4:32 pm

But Lieberman wanks and wanks to “Homeland”, the most authoritarian-sounding description of the country ever contrived. The name of his committee sounds like something made up in the basement of the KGB.

Bruno October 8, 2009 at 7:29 pm

[re=429505]chascates[/re]: Yes please. Make Joe a czar (I prefer tsar) and CT can get on with electing a real senator. With principles

hunter.blatherer October 9, 2009 at 2:55 am

Leave Joe Lieberman alone!! The man is a true artist, and all you people making fun of him while he’s still in the “early conceptual stages” of creating what will surely be a masterwork, will be sorry. Very, very sorry.

Especially when he “nails down” witnesses for the installation.
Remember, we (The Jews) did it to Jesus. So what’s protecting you?

Captain Swing October 9, 2009 at 6:39 am

Memo to NASA:

Next time you eggheads decide to crash a rocket into the Moon, make sure Joe Lieberdouche is aboard it.

Oh, and while you’re at it, you might choose a better target, like the Faux News studio.

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