matt latimer looked back from a telescope on mars

A Veritable Masterpiece Of Savvy Politicking, This Obama Star-Gazing Fete

Barack Obama had a cosmology-themed children’s gala on his lawn last night, wherein he invited 150 local middle schoolers to come over and check out his bitchin telescopes, but not in a braggy way. Buzz Aldrin and Sally Ride were there too! Obama said some Obama-y things about how kids can become scientists; NASA was tangentially involved and somehow neither devolved into histrionics nor launched a missile at Earth’s moon, the Moon. It was, unarguably, the single most successful event to take place at the White House during our time or any other. [The Swamp]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • labdork

    I love my president

  • keglined

    Five bucks says Glenn Beck is crunching “cosmology,” “sally ride,” and “independence day” through his anagram-generator-thingie.

  • finallyhappy

    One of my co-worker’s daughters was there. He isn’t here so I don’t know how it was. I will find out and report.

  • house of the blue lights

    There he goes, indoctrinating children with that education stuff again.

  • ManchuCandidate

    What’s this? A preznit who actually cares about skienze and not blabbering about demons from a book written by Aramaic Shepherds some 2000 years ago? Now, only if he can encourage the little buggers to read.

  • forgracie

    Io, Europa, Callisto and Ganymede. I think they were all Jupiter’s (Zeus’) lovers. Bet the President didn’t mention that Jupiter (Zeus) seduced Europa while in the form of a bull cuz that’s what allowing gay marriage could lead to.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=429416]forgracie[/re]: Man on planet sex…Santorum warned us about this.

  • wx insider

    I heard some of the kids pointed their telescopes
    toward NYC so they could watch Letterman hump some
    staffer.

  • hobospacejunkie

    This is just Obama’s attempt to deflect attention away from the planned bombing of the moon tomorrow The alien civilization which resides on the moon, and which observed previous lunar landings, may strike back by sending a missile toward earth. Then all you libtards who wanted to de-fund the star wars missile shield will finally get your wish: that US America be obliterated off the face of the earth by aliens looking to protect the planet.

  • MARCdMan

    Did Buzz Aldrin punch anybody?

  • Prommie

    I have a 102 mm achromatic refractor, f10, and a Meade 90mm maksutov, 1000mm focal length, also f10. I grow tired of these devices and want to trade for a dobsonian of 8 or 10 inch size, anyone out there interested?

  • Fly Over Girl

    Oh, that silly Barack. All the trouble he had to go to just to get a view of Michelle’s badonkadonk booty.

  • Prommie

    Is “vertiable” like “veritable?”

  • Servo

    “Come see all the pretty li’l planetoids that NASA can blow up, kids”

  • Norbert
  • qwerty42

    The Great Chinese Moon War starts tomorrow (Friday). Was the president telling the kids to take a good look because after tomorrow it wouldn’t be there?
    Victory over the moon people or death!

  • El Pinche

    [re=429424]MARCdMan[/re]: Buzz kicked a kid in the head when he asked ,”Buzz, did you see God when you were in space?” It ain’t a party unless Buzz is jacking some shit up.

  • as.the.world.burns

    [re=429423]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I WANT TO BELIEVE

  • JMP

    HOW DARE MUSLIN NOBAMA ENCURAGE KIDS TO BECUM ATHIEST SECUAR SCIENTISTS!

  • shadowMark

    Barack Obama had a cosmology-themed children’s gala on this lawn last night

    It’s about time someone started kids on makeup right. Too many kids either look like glam rock recjects with too much makeup or like emos with no makeup at all. It’s too bad the president has to get involved but I guess there’s only so much Rachel Zoe can do. Good for Barry! I especially like when girls do rainbow eye makeup with big fake eye lashes if they do it right like Time magazine hippies did.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=429433]El Pinche[/re]: It ain’t a party unless Buzz is shilling for some shady scheiss-sters trying to trade on his moon-landing butt for treasure. Neill Armstrong may have been first on the moon, but Buzz is going to die with the most toys.

  • chascates

    So Obama cares more for non-Christian planets than his own!

    EARTH FIRST!

  • shadowMark

    [re=429425]Prommie[/re]: Last summer I bought a 102mm short focus refractor, f/5, also not apo, but I love it. (In place of my old 60mm long focus Unitron.) Even under Chicago skies I was able to see Uranus in Aquarius and Neptune in Capricornus in beauiful wide-field views. I’m always tempted by bigger bigger bigger things to see deep sky objects in better detail, but bigger scopes mean bigger mounts and all that stuff. Short focus things are like good binoculars and you can carry them around. In fact if I were going to spend money I think I’d buy an image stabilized Canon binocular, just 50mm, easy to carry, easy to travel to some place really dark. For wide field views they’re supposed to be great.

    But I have read if you get up around a 24 inch DOB you can actually see colors in deep sky objects and that must be the coolest thing.

  • El Pinche

    [re=429444]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Damn…I need to read up on that. I’m not surprised. Buzz is the Suge Knight of astronautics.

  • Min

    Obama introduced two 15-year-olds as examples: One had discovered a supernova, the other a pulsar.

    When I was 15, I was reading Tiger Beat magazine and mooning over Donny Osmond. I feel so inadequate.

  • BeWoot

    I’ve always preferred inarguably over unarguably. Turns out I been so wrong for so long.

    By the way, did Bush host backyard astronomy parties?

  • Terry

    No snark, what a wonderful event. We need more things like this.

  • thefrontpage

    Are Buzz Aldrin and Sally Ride dating?

  • thefrontpage

    Apparently, Kal Penn was there, and he reported seeing the Starship Enterprise and Captain Kirk when he looked through the telescopes.

  • shadowMark

    [re=429470]thefrontpage[/re]: All the women astronauts look like Lisa Nowak to me now.

    Out There: The In-Depth Story of the Astronaut Love Triangle Case that Shocked America

  • Jim89048

    Did the Preznit provide lab coats? Because playing doctor while wearing actual lab coats makes the whole experience so much more real!

  • Terry

    [re=429479]Jim89048[/re]:

    At the risk of being scolded for posting URL’s, here’s a music video featuring lab coats. It’s at least 14 kinds of awesome.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWmivumLLLw

  • finallyhappy

    [re=429463]Min[/re]: Tiger Beat! I did love Tiger Beat but actually at 15 I was working on a Presidential campaign(and going to High school).

  • Harvey Birdman

    [re=429422]wx insider[/re]: Topical humor!

  • user-of-owls

    [re=429470]thefrontpage[/re]: Will their love child be named Buzz Ride? Cuz that would be cool.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    We did the looking-at-the-moons-of-Jupiter at my 9th Grader’s curriculum night the other night. It was freaking awesome. Jupiter, sitting there as big as a dinner plate and a whole bevy of little dots around it. My daughter’s science teacher is totes hyper, like a Bill Nye cranked up to ’11.’ Only gay. A lot more gay.

    Needless to say, it was the highlight of an otherwise predictably boring night.

  • S.Luggo
  • loquaciousmusic

    150 middle schoolers? Mark Foley would ride that rocket to the MOON, baby!

  • norbizness

    Were the children all singing “We love you Allah, oh yes we do…”?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, this is nothing but trouble. What’s going to happen when the little ones come home and say that President Obama told them the earth isn’t the center of the universe like they learned in Sunday School?

  • SmutBoffin

    Watch the moon-bombing LIVE on NASA TV!

    That’s edutainment!

  • ladymacbeth

    this is all because he voted to fund that $3 million overhead projector.

    this would never have happened if mccain/palin had been elected.

    i want my america back.

  • sezme

    [re=429539]ladymacbeth[/re]: A+ for long-term memory!

  • Chickensmack

    [re=429425]Prommie[/re]: Sorry, prommie. I’ve got a 130mm reflector and a decent collection of filters, including a UHC, O-III and variable polarizing. I’m not interested in a trade, personally. But there’s a star party in rural western Kentucky all next week… you might find someone who’d trade down there.

    No snark for g33ks, please.

  • zenferret

    [re=429457]shadowMark[/re]: heh heh he said uranus

  • chascates

    The moon bombing is supposed to be at 6:15 am (ET?) which I find very inconvenient as I usually go to bed at that time. Can the next planet spanking be at a more reasonable time, say 2 p.m.?

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=429457]shadowMark[/re]: SWM, 13″ Dobson, seeks late night rendezvous with stars.

  • pondscum

    [re=429457]shadowMark[/re]: You have a telescope in Chicago and you’re pointing it at the sky? Bet you’re the only one…THOSE ARE FOR PEEPING!

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=429425]Prommie[/re]: I believe the proper place for that kind of ad is Craig’s List.

    But seriously, how great is that? He should do something like this every month, like: November White House Children’s Science Event: Bathyscaphe descent into the Potomac!

  • user-of-owls

    [re=429557]Chickensmack[/re]: I wouldn’t have pegged skoalrebel as the amateur astronomer type.

  • bitchincamaro

    Wait ’til the wingnuts find out about the secret tunnel Hopey’s built from his bedroom to the The International Dark Sky Association offices.

  • house of the blue lights

    [re=429416]forgracie[/re]: pretty sure Ganymede’s a boy, but maybe Zeus swings both ways.

  • iburl

    Typical socialist! Don’t he know that science can’t do nothing but distract them kids from the truth of the bible! The Conservapedia version, of course.

  • GreatOldOnesParty

    had a dream last night that Obama turned the entire White House lawn into a giant “muddin'” pit for some white, redneck rapper’s music video.
    Suck on THAT Karl Jung!

  • PoignancySelz

    Damn, I’m seeing the resemblence to the top of “One Nation Under God” in that image.
    Repeat ad nauseum
    Ko Per Nick Us Obama…mmmm, mmmm, mmmm

  • LowerdPeninsula

    Buzz Aldrin is one of the craziest muthafuckers to ever visit space. I love how NASA went to unhamn lengths to find the most unhuman of humands to send up to space, and folks like Buzz slipped through. Aldrin is a total space-whore, and I don’t respect much about him, but boy do I respect his crazy.

    BTW, we’ve all been joking about the moon bombing and such (they must have oil), but on a more serious note, who exactly decides you can just blow up shit in an extra-territorial land? There something that makes me feel very dirty about all of this.

  • thefrontpage

    The U.S. got permission from the Moon People, and the Moon People’s Imperial Leader, Moon God.

    That’s according to the Weekly World News.