A Veritable Masterpiece Of Savvy Politicking, This Obama Star-Gazing Fete

by Juli Weiner

Barack Obama had a cosmology-themed children’s gala on his lawn last night, wherein he invited 150 local middle schoolers to come over and check out his bitchin telescopes, but not in a braggy way. Buzz Aldrin and Sally Ride were there too! Obama said some Obama-y things about how kids can become scientists; NASA was tangentially involved and somehow neither devolved into histrionics nor launched a missile at Earth’s moon, the Moon. It was, unarguably, the single most successful event to take place at the White House during our time or any other. [The Swamp]


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labdork October 8, 2009 at 10:03 am

I love my president

keglined October 8, 2009 at 10:04 am

Five bucks says Glenn Beck is crunching “cosmology,” “sally ride,” and “independence day” through his anagram-generator-thingie.

finallyhappy October 8, 2009 at 10:05 am

One of my co-worker’s daughters was there. He isn’t here so I don’t know how it was. I will find out and report.

house of the blue lights October 8, 2009 at 10:08 am

There he goes, indoctrinating children with that education stuff again.

ManchuCandidate October 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

What’s this? A preznit who actually cares about skienze and not blabbering about demons from a book written by Aramaic Shepherds some 2000 years ago? Now, only if he can encourage the little buggers to read.

forgracie October 8, 2009 at 10:14 am

Io, Europa, Callisto and Ganymede. I think they were all Jupiter’s (Zeus’) lovers. Bet the President didn’t mention that Jupiter (Zeus) seduced Europa while in the form of a bull cuz that’s what allowing gay marriage could lead to.

user-of-owls October 8, 2009 at 10:18 am

[re=429416]forgracie[/re]: Man on planet sex…Santorum warned us about this.

wx insider October 8, 2009 at 10:22 am

I heard some of the kids pointed their telescopes
toward NYC so they could watch Letterman hump some

hobospacejunkie October 8, 2009 at 10:22 am

This is just Obama’s attempt to deflect attention away from the planned bombing of the moon tomorrow The alien civilization which resides on the moon, and which observed previous lunar landings, may strike back by sending a missile toward earth. Then all you libtards who wanted to de-fund the star wars missile shield will finally get your wish: that US America be obliterated off the face of the earth by aliens looking to protect the planet.

MARCdMan October 8, 2009 at 10:24 am

Did Buzz Aldrin punch anybody?

Prommie October 8, 2009 at 10:26 am

I have a 102 mm achromatic refractor, f10, and a Meade 90mm maksutov, 1000mm focal length, also f10. I grow tired of these devices and want to trade for a dobsonian of 8 or 10 inch size, anyone out there interested?

Fly Over Girl October 8, 2009 at 10:26 am

Oh, that silly Barack. All the trouble he had to go to just to get a view of Michelle’s badonkadonk booty.

Prommie October 8, 2009 at 10:27 am

Is “vertiable” like “veritable?”

Servo October 8, 2009 at 10:29 am

“Come see all the pretty li’l planetoids that NASA can blow up, kids”

Norbert October 8, 2009 at 10:29 am
qwerty42 October 8, 2009 at 10:31 am

The Great Chinese Moon War starts tomorrow (Friday). Was the president telling the kids to take a good look because after tomorrow it wouldn’t be there?
Victory over the moon people or death!

El Pinche October 8, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=429424]MARCdMan[/re]: Buzz kicked a kid in the head when he asked ,”Buzz, did you see God when you were in space?” It ain’t a party unless Buzz is jacking some shit up.

as.the.world.burns October 8, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=429423]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I WANT TO BELIEVE

JMP October 8, 2009 at 10:39 am


shadowMark October 8, 2009 at 10:40 am

Barack Obama had a cosmology-themed children’s gala on this lawn last night

It’s about time someone started kids on makeup right. Too many kids either look like glam rock recjects with too much makeup or like emos with no makeup at all. It’s too bad the president has to get involved but I guess there’s only so much Rachel Zoe can do. Good for Barry! I especially like when girls do rainbow eye makeup with big fake eye lashes if they do it right like Time magazine hippies did.

hobospacejunkie October 8, 2009 at 10:41 am

[re=429433]El Pinche[/re]: It ain’t a party unless Buzz is shilling for some shady scheiss-sters trying to trade on his moon-landing butt for treasure. Neill Armstrong may have been first on the moon, but Buzz is going to die with the most toys.

chascates October 8, 2009 at 10:46 am

So Obama cares more for non-Christian planets than his own!


shadowMark October 8, 2009 at 10:56 am

[re=429425]Prommie[/re]: Last summer I bought a 102mm short focus refractor, f/5, also not apo, but I love it. (In place of my old 60mm long focus Unitron.) Even under Chicago skies I was able to see Uranus in Aquarius and Neptune in Capricornus in beauiful wide-field views. I’m always tempted by bigger bigger bigger things to see deep sky objects in better detail, but bigger scopes mean bigger mounts and all that stuff. Short focus things are like good binoculars and you can carry them around. In fact if I were going to spend money I think I’d buy an image stabilized Canon binocular, just 50mm, easy to carry, easy to travel to some place really dark. For wide field views they’re supposed to be great.

But I have read if you get up around a 24 inch DOB you can actually see colors in deep sky objects and that must be the coolest thing.

El Pinche October 8, 2009 at 10:58 am

[re=429444]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Damn…I need to read up on that. I’m not surprised. Buzz is the Suge Knight of astronautics.

Min October 8, 2009 at 11:05 am

Obama introduced two 15-year-olds as examples: One had discovered a supernova, the other a pulsar.

When I was 15, I was reading Tiger Beat magazine and mooning over Donny Osmond. I feel so inadequate.

BeWoot October 8, 2009 at 11:08 am

I’ve always preferred inarguably over unarguably. Turns out I been so wrong for so long.

By the way, did Bush host backyard astronomy parties?

Terry October 8, 2009 at 11:09 am

No snark, what a wonderful event. We need more things like this.

thefrontpage October 8, 2009 at 11:14 am

Are Buzz Aldrin and Sally Ride dating?

thefrontpage October 8, 2009 at 11:15 am

Apparently, Kal Penn was there, and he reported seeing the Starship Enterprise and Captain Kirk when he looked through the telescopes.

shadowMark October 8, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=429470]thefrontpage[/re]: All the women astronauts look like Lisa Nowak to me now.

Out There: The In-Depth Story of the Astronaut Love Triangle Case that Shocked America

Jim89048 October 8, 2009 at 11:26 am

Did the Preznit provide lab coats? Because playing doctor while wearing actual lab coats makes the whole experience so much more real!

Terry October 8, 2009 at 11:30 am


At the risk of being scolded for posting URL’s, here’s a music video featuring lab coats. It’s at least 14 kinds of awesome.


finallyhappy October 8, 2009 at 11:32 am

[re=429463]Min[/re]: Tiger Beat! I did love Tiger Beat but actually at 15 I was working on a Presidential campaign(and going to High school).

Harvey Birdman October 8, 2009 at 11:36 am

[re=429422]wx insider[/re]: Topical humor!

user-of-owls October 8, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=429470]thefrontpage[/re]: Will their love child be named Buzz Ride? Cuz that would be cool.

Lascauxcaveman October 8, 2009 at 11:42 am

We did the looking-at-the-moons-of-Jupiter at my 9th Grader’s curriculum night the other night. It was freaking awesome. Jupiter, sitting there as big as a dinner plate and a whole bevy of little dots around it. My daughter’s science teacher is totes hyper, like a Bill Nye cranked up to ’11.’ Only gay. A lot more gay.

Needless to say, it was the highlight of an otherwise predictably boring night.

S.Luggo October 8, 2009 at 11:42 am
loquaciousmusic October 8, 2009 at 11:46 am

150 middle schoolers? Mark Foley would ride that rocket to the MOON, baby!

norbizness October 8, 2009 at 11:46 am

Were the children all singing “We love you Allah, oh yes we do…”?

SayItWithWookies October 8, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Oh, this is nothing but trouble. What’s going to happen when the little ones come home and say that President Obama told them the earth isn’t the center of the universe like they learned in Sunday School?

SmutBoffin October 8, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Watch the moon-bombing LIVE on NASA TV!

That’s edutainment!

ladymacbeth October 8, 2009 at 12:33 pm

this is all because he voted to fund that $3 million overhead projector.

this would never have happened if mccain/palin had been elected.

i want my america back.

sezme October 8, 2009 at 12:41 pm

[re=429539]ladymacbeth[/re]: A+ for long-term memory!

Chickensmack October 8, 2009 at 12:50 pm

[re=429425]Prommie[/re]: Sorry, prommie. I’ve got a 130mm reflector and a decent collection of filters, including a UHC, O-III and variable polarizing. I’m not interested in a trade, personally. But there’s a star party in rural western Kentucky all next week… you might find someone who’d trade down there.

No snark for g33ks, please.

zenferret October 8, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=429457]shadowMark[/re]: heh heh he said uranus

chascates October 8, 2009 at 12:57 pm

The moon bombing is supposed to be at 6:15 am (ET?) which I find very inconvenient as I usually go to bed at that time. Can the next planet spanking be at a more reasonable time, say 2 p.m.?

Accordion-o-rama October 8, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=429457]shadowMark[/re]: SWM, 13″ Dobson, seeks late night rendezvous with stars.

pondscum October 8, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=429457]shadowMark[/re]: You have a telescope in Chicago and you’re pointing it at the sky? Bet you’re the only one…THOSE ARE FOR PEEPING!

One Yield Regular October 8, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=429425]Prommie[/re]: I believe the proper place for that kind of ad is Craig’s List.

But seriously, how great is that? He should do something like this every month, like: November White House Children’s Science Event: Bathyscaphe descent into the Potomac!

user-of-owls October 8, 2009 at 1:44 pm

[re=429557]Chickensmack[/re]: I wouldn’t have pegged skoalrebel as the amateur astronomer type.

bitchincamaro October 8, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Wait ’til the wingnuts find out about the secret tunnel Hopey’s built from his bedroom to the The International Dark Sky Association offices.

house of the blue lights October 8, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=429416]forgracie[/re]: pretty sure Ganymede’s a boy, but maybe Zeus swings both ways.

iburl October 8, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Typical socialist! Don’t he know that science can’t do nothing but distract them kids from the truth of the bible! The Conservapedia version, of course.

GreatOldOnesParty October 8, 2009 at 3:56 pm

had a dream last night that Obama turned the entire White House lawn into a giant “muddin’” pit for some white, redneck rapper’s music video.
Suck on THAT Karl Jung!

PoignancySelz October 8, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Damn, I’m seeing the resemblence to the top of “One Nation Under God” in that image.
Repeat ad nauseum
Ko Per Nick Us Obama…mmmm, mmmm, mmmm

LowerdPeninsula October 9, 2009 at 2:07 am

Buzz Aldrin is one of the craziest muthafuckers to ever visit space. I love how NASA went to unhamn lengths to find the most unhuman of humands to send up to space, and folks like Buzz slipped through. Aldrin is a total space-whore, and I don’t respect much about him, but boy do I respect his crazy.

BTW, we’ve all been joking about the moon bombing and such (they must have oil), but on a more serious note, who exactly decides you can just blow up shit in an extra-territorial land? There something that makes me feel very dirty about all of this.

thefrontpage October 9, 2009 at 11:52 am

The U.S. got permission from the Moon People, and the Moon People’s Imperial Leader, Moon God.

That’s according to the Weekly World News.

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