Wonkette
Here’s a great new ad from the anti-gay-marriage amendment crusaders in whatever state is “doing that” now… ah, super gay Washington state. God and the Jesus made marriage for men and women, so they could fuck and have children and play in piles of leaves. How would you heteros like it in you’re splashing leaves with your children Little Johnny reaches into the pile only to grab the exposed cock of a hidden homo? You simply would not care for that. UPDATE: Oh hey what is this about permissions now? Just click the link. Dumb “Vimeo.” [Vimeo]
They appear to be ON TO YOU and your Wonkett, Jim Newell. No video for you! Because then people in Washington might see the video, or something.
vimeo plus cockblock!
looks like you’ve been vimeowned, jim
Vimeo is protecting us form the GAY STEALTH COCK
Well, I’m convinced. After all the other bigotry I’ve seen from these folks, finally something broke through.
Gays r bad.
I had no idea Adam and Eve looked so much like the parents from The Brady Bunch. Of course, since the actor who played Mike Brady was gay, I guess this is a tacit approval of the closted-male-to-beard marriage.
I think if you are a Republican Congressman, you’d tell your kids to go home and you’d reach in there and grab that thing with both hands! Also!!
Oh well that’s just great. We so much as MENTION that we’re going to bomb the moon, and suddenly it’s like 30 miles from Earth.
At least SkoalRebel is free with his video goodness.
You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You’re not like the other
people, here, in the trailer park.
Oh, don’t go get me wrong. They’re fine people, they’re
good Americans. But they’re content to sit back, maybe
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick
back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They’re good, fine people,
Stuart. But they don’t know … what the queers are doing
to the leafpiles!
Wow! That was pretty vile and hate-filled for such a short video. Love the seventies sci-fi movie tunics for Adam and Eve and how god created Aryans without the evilution stuff and they just growed and all in a day. In fact they could probably take the EXACT same video and change the voice over to make it about not teaching evilution. Not that they have to scrimp and save as I’m sure they’re probably pretty well funded and not paying taxes.
marioninnyc: You gotta love the Lynard Skynard Jesus as well, also too.
Sorry
The Creator has not given you permission to embed your cock in a pile of leaves.
This is a US Congressman Privilege™.
Hey ! i only like gay hidden cock in my tub of popcorn at the movies…dig deep peoples!
“How would you heteros like it in you’re splashing leaves with your children Little Johnny reaches into the pile only to grab the exposed cock of a hidden homo?”
Assuming that I am Little Johnny, well then, I would like that very much. Yes indeed.
lol@ “WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER!”
How does that make a case either for or against gay marriage?
adam and eve were wearing logan’s run smocks? how 70s!
ACORN has a similar pro-prostipatution vid wherein the hidden gay cock is tucked and taped conveniently up and around the ho grundle.
I like how they got a gayish-sounding black dude to narrate it. I wish I could make some money selling out my people, any of my people.
Not to worry. This apparently only applies to white middle class people like the ones who lived in the garden of eden. And who wants to be one of them, if that’s what they considered fashionable attire for paradise.
problemwithcaring: Sounds more like a case against divorce. Good luck sellin that load o’ shite to the slave states, what with its filthy papist overtones…
How many H’s are there in that G-D fellas name? eh? Narrator sounds like narrator is self sodomizing.
Wait, can you log in and comment on the videos? Because it would be just terrible if some people went over there and FAILED their little video feed.
problemwithcaring: I would have thought that was a statement against divorce, but what do I know, I am neither gay nor married. Also not religious, also.
The leaves are metaphor for all the hundreds of times each day you get to have sexytime after you get married. Gayz will just have to be satisfied with random, anonymous, non-marital sex. Marriage is all about sex amirite?
And I would have non-marital sex with Mr. Groom. A lot.
problemwithcaring: Clearly they are ok with girl-on-girl porn.
Can those of us who don’t believe the part about Adam & Eve get to be gay-married?
All I heard was “GOD blah blah blah GOD blah blah blah GOD”
Apparently being a homophobe fucks with your volume control.
Balls!: +10 for the Dead Milkmen reference.
SayItWithWookies: The fact that Mrs. Brady secretly slept with Greg would imply that they also approve of step-incest.
The earlier version had them hurling fecal matter. It was much more entertaining.
Crank Tango: “I like how they got a blackish-sounding gay dude to narrate it.”
/fixed
RoscoePColtraine: Yes indeedy, especially when you add kids. Having kids makes your marriage a non-stop sex fest. My wife and I had a visit from child protective services the other week because we’ve been having the sex so much that we keep forgetting to feed, wash, and clothe our kids.
sezme: hehehe I stand corrected.
Did the video say, “and he made a woman and brought her into the man?”
uhh… isn’t it usually the guy who comes into the woman… or the other man… or the blowup doll, or the pretty much anything?
problemwithcaring: buttcheeks?
Balls!: Leaf queers alone!
RIGHT NOW! I MEAN IT!!
LEAF QUEERS ALONE!!1!
**sooobbb**
This video is an excellent way to give someone a leaf pile fetish.
“Vimeo” rhymes with “homo”. COINCIDENCE?!?!?!
Sorry?!?!?11? They’re not SORRY. Why does the Vimeo hate the Wonketeo?
Harvey Birdman: Andrew Sullivan once banged a dude for 24 hours in a leaf pile.
Needs a teary eyed eagle and a fag flapping in the breeze.
Err.. flag fapping the breeze.
Dave J.: This is so true, though I always seem to have a problem “closing the deal” when the little one is asking what I’m doing to mommy.
I LOVE Adam’s schmatta!
AND HERE ARE THE VIDEO TAGS THEY USED!
* anti-gay
* anti-equality
* anti-LGBT
* bans
* discrimination
* biased
* hurts families
* bad for washington
* preserves inequality
* bad for the state
* do the fair thing: approve 71!
* religious bigotry
* hurts children
* APPROVE 71 - do the right thing!
* christianist
* bigoted
* american taliban
* evil
* cowards scared of comments
* creationism
That’s right. Cowards scared of comments and AMERICAN FUCKING TALIBAN. Only in ‘merica.
Cicada: “This measure violates God’s man date.”
Oh, so that’s what God calls it when he gets 12 hours of non-stop, analytical-annihilating Satan anal.
I was told this was a simple right of passage all children went through.
So, what? The vimeo is saying that homos are leaf blowers? I don’t get it.
You people are missing the symbolism here. The dead leaves represent all the dead babies that won’t get borned when homosexuals get married and have teh buttsecks and fail to reproduce, which is why homosexuality is basically abortion in advance and therefore bad. But if we ban gay marriage all the babies will get borned so we can be happy and toss them in the air gleefully. See?
So many layers of fail. Such easy funny prey. Why do they entertain us so? It’s like a carnival of crazy parading in front of my brain.
“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.” Deuteronomy 23:1 (ESV).
“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.” Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (NASB)
“She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.” Ezekiel 23:19-20 (NET).
The moral? The bible has a lot of odd shit in it that no one would ever take literally. Except the stuff about evil homos, and maybe the donkey-sized penises.
Crank Tango: I agree. I was just about to say I thought that narrator sounded a little lispy.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Ab-so-loutely. I’d do a response ad saying rejecting the bill will eliminate divorce in Washington State. It’d do well to get 20%.
Very effective ad — just made give more $$$ to the YES on 71 campaign.
Straight life is like white culture…it sucks and is boring. Glenn Beck will fight for our rights to play in a leaf pile even when Obama and Big Brother tell us they’re going to integrate our leaf piles with homos and immigrants etc.
KilgoreTrout_XL: That Ezekiel think actually got me kind of hot.
Accordion-o-rama: Heh, you shoulda left well enough alone.
Wow. Who knew Adam and Eve were from Laguna Beach.
I’m looking out my window now to watch for gays, crazed with anticipation, slowly circling my leaf piles. then I will sell tickets to all my gay acquaintances on Facebook…. Thanks for the idea, Vimeo!!!
Leaf pile needs alt-text. I’m just not getting it, bro.
Anyone else notice the tags for the video? anti-gay, anti-LGBT, bigoted, American Taliban, cowards afraid of comments
KilgoreTrout_XL: these passages will remain in the new Conservative Bible, uncut, with addenda stating “no homo”
Isn’t God going to get mad that Suburban Adam and Malibu Eve are wearing THE SAME CLOTHES? I thought God wanted men to wear pants, not minismocks with their stuff all ajanglin’. It’s nice that the clothes are so clean and freshly pressed, though. Maybe white people had slaves in the Garden of Eden to do their laundry?
i don’t get it, are they wrecking a gay man’s leaf pile he’s been working on all afternoon?
Formerly Known as KevoTron: shortsshortsshorts: yeah i think the tags were added by viewers, no?
I think Referendum 71 is the one that mandates immediate divorce for all hetro couples?
Throw leaves manically in the air while you can, breeders!
Long time reader of Wonkette, but this trash has finally made me have to post something.
R71 is not a gay marriage bill. What it is approval of SB 5688, which is an expansion of Washington’s domestic partnership law. Meaning all people with domestic partnerships, both gay and lesbian couples, and non-married heterosexual couples over the age of 62, would now enjoy all the same tax and legal benefits of “marriage,” without the union being called as such.
Or would have if R71 did not get onto the November ballet. The original petition drive only passed by about 1000 signatures and there is still the question of if you had to be an all ready registered voter, or if you could sign up at the same time. The law is not clear on that.
Can any one else here think of a time when a group would want their own initiative to fail?
Sorry I did not bring the funny for my first time, but this crap really pisses me off.
I saw this. Then I thought of the wedding photo on the Cheech and Chong album, about 30 years ago. You know the one, C & C pair of spastic Siamese twins, the bride heavily pg (probably with another pair of Siamese twins), head inside a paper-bag burqa. I suspect that’s a lot more true to life.
Dave J.: Forgetting to wash, feed, clothe the by-products of your lusts sounds like the Washington State I used to know. Don’t worry, your ship will pull out soon. WA lawmen don’t bother to try to arrest/extradite sailors out at sea.
ScaredShitless: Oh no no no! There is actually a verse in the old testament (don’t know it off the top of my head, but I’ll see if I can find it) that basically damns any guy to hell if he wears pants. My dad looked it up once and used to bring it up anytime wingbats brought “the bible says THIS” into arguments. (This was in the south, so it happened a lot.) It was hilarious to watch their heads explode, but also rather messy, so he finally had to stop.
Redhead: Okay so I can’t find that verse, but I found this AWESOME website with several other ones. (http://www.fallwell.com/selective%20quotation.html) I love the shellfish one.
haha. he said mandate.
hiphophitler: That’s the same argument Anita Bryant used back in the 70’s!
My ideal spouse wouldn’t be someone who got all humanity kicked out of the Garden of Eden for eternity. Just sayin’.
I would love to read “Vimeos” business plan about how they are going to beat youtube by not attracting more viewers and banning domains.
What VC would have bought that idea?
Redhead: Please please find that bible verse. The best way to quote it of course is by page number as there is only one TRUE word of God
It looks like they made this with snippets from Parts: The Clonus Horror.
Bruno: Thou shalt not allow Philistines to embed thy videos, it is an abomination.
“This is a Vimeo Plus feature.”
Preventing people from watching that video is indeed a feature.
Bruno: Well in that case, on page 9873458438 (Old Testament), it clearly says, “and He sayeth unto them, ye shall not wear the long-legged trousers, whether man or woman, or He shall surely smite thee.”
Yeah, totally just pulled that out of my ass. But I’ve kind of always wanted to do that, just make up a quote, in an argument with a wingbat sometime. I mean how many of them have actually READ their bible? How many of them would even know the difference? Half the shit they quote, I really wonder if their own ministers are just making up on the spot Sunday morning (when their hangovers made it a little hard to prepare for the weekend’s sermon).
Extemporanus: God’s a bottom? That explains a lot, including why Sullivan likes to hum “One of Us”.
Washington State? Isn’t that the one that’s perpetually taking it up the Puget Sound from a throbbing Vancouver Island?
Dick in a Leaf Pile?
Balls!: +2 for the Dead Milkmen.
A conservative acquaintance once told me, “if everyone was gay, the human race would soon cease to exist,” to which I replied, “you have a great point.” He smiled and walked away thinking that his reasoning was sound.
imissopus: Best to avoid teh buttsecks if you have piles? Heh, we coulda told ‘em that.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Oh, how I heart you…
Hey, some dude in the commercial was wearing a dress. Does that mean God thinks being transgendered is ok?
I added the tag of “saprize butt secks” ’cause that’s what teh gehs like to do in leaf piles.
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: I had to run some off just last week!
that has mormon written all over it.
Someone’s added a cover shot of “Divorce Magazine” as one of the page images. Brilliant!
Long-time lurker, first time poster. After seeing this video, and since I live in a neighboring state, I thought I would craft a little parody. Hope you enjoy it, wonketteers. (I’m new enough that I don’t get the “also” business, so I won’t pretend I’m in the know). Yes, the video has some weird artifacts, blame the conversion from flv to mp4.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_5ZB-PoIoI
nappyduggs: Ho Grundle!
petehammer: Noice! Oh, and: protect marriage! Wah!
One time I jumped in a leaf pile and wound up getting my starfish cleaved by Bruce Vilanch. It’s science.
I especially liked the sex with ducks skit. Oh, wait…
petehammer: Nice work Petehammer. I loved the creepy skull cap guy. “Also” is Sarah Palin speak, who is greatly admired in these parts for her erudition and perseverance.
butseks whaat??and where? also.
KilgoreTrout_XL:
“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.” Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (NASB)
Would you believe if I told you one version of the Bible replaces “genitals” with the word “secrets”?
A dick in a leaf pile? Must be Schmitts Gay Coctoberfest marketing.
I’m pretty sure the “dad” in that video is not a heterosexual.
Hey! You know what is totally awesome in a pile of leaves? Drinking vodka out of some guy’s anus, that’s what!
Who all voting for Adam and Steve?
The Brady Bunch my aa… Donnie & Marie got married?
The issue that I am going to discuss is a real problem in the adult world. The issue in question involves homo sexuals and lesbians that are part of the education system of teachers. A few months ago I attened a CDL training course in Indiana through the PAM PDS company. I passed the written test but was told that I would not be driving for PAM trucking because I did not meet the requirement’s. When I inquired about what specific requirements had I not met, I was once more informed that I had not met the requirements. While I was taking the course there was an individual taking the course as well whose name I did not happen to ask. He was a male but he had the voice of a women. These types of people both men and women are being used by various groups throughout the United States to corrupt the minds of people through the following psychological use of personalities. When this type of person is driving a truck and uses the radio they will obviously sound like a women to the other drivers who cannot see the person talking. An unsuspecting truck driver make think that the voice their are hearing is possibly an attractive women where they may become infactuated with the male driver because of the female voice that the driver hears. Eventually the real male driver may want to meet the ‘female’ driver to possibly begin a relationship with someone that is on the road and can relate to them. When the real male finds out that who he has been talking to is really a man disguising his voice as a women various courses of action may occur. The male truck male beat the living shit out of the homo-sexual truck driver for misleading him which the ‘female’ voiced truck driver would then file a report of harassment against the male truck driver under the guise of the beating being a form of homosexual discrimination which would cause the real male truck driver to his job and possibly another homosexual or lesbian obtaining a position where they would make alot of money to further their campaign across America where they would use their money to buy influence with those in office who are either homosexual theirself or have hidden homosexual tendacies. The second result of this situation would be that the real male might forsee the legal trap of the homosexual or lesbian and decide to walk away from the person to avoid an incident, The homosexual would then create a problem for the truck driver by spreading rumors that the real male truck driver assaulted him sexually to get him fired or continue to use harassing methods to convince other truck drivers that the real male is in fact a hidden homosexual based on the ploy of the homosexual or lesbian to force the real male to convert to the homosexual lifestyle through constant harassment and paying other truck drivers that may not like him to say that the real male truck driver was homosexual until either the real male truck driver quit allowing more homosexuals into the trucking industry where they would further corrupt the American way of life with their twisted personality.
How this applies in the classroom. If you have a homosexual or lesbian teacher teaching a classroom full of children anywhere from the age of Kindergarten to 11th grade where the child is at their most vulnerable stage of their life, the homosexual or lesbian will attmept to convert whom ever they can by using the following methods Caliguan control methods. The homosexual teacher will always have a few henchmen working for him whom are homosexual theirself but still retain their manly voices or womenly voices. These henchmen will then gather information on the homosexual or lesbian teacher’s target’s by making theirself feel like they are the potential victims friend. The information is then gathered and delivered to the targeted student(s) and various attempts at converting the student into a homosexual or lesbian by using word structures hidden in tests and handouts that are written by the teacher. The teachers henchmen will then have others that they know harass the target calling them homosexual or queer so that the target will be afraid of telling their parents for fear of being shunned or not understanding why they are being badly talked about where the homosexual teachers aid will tell them that they are being harassed because they are different then the other kids. When the hook has been set in this manner the homosexual teacher will then say that the student can confide in them, them being the homosexual or lesbian teacher where the final psychological conditioning of the student to be a homosexual is complete, thus adding another sexual play object for the homosexual or lesbian teacher to have in their Caliguan court.
What it boils down to is keeping the confused sexual intent of the homosexual and lesbian out of the public school system’s where they breed their herds to bolster their number’s where the targets of their homosexual love could have lead normal healthy lives.
Gunner001: “Candycane… candycane.”
I guess Rusty Nail didn’t die at the end of Joy Ride after all… and he never learned about possessives.
Gunner001: Yeah honey, that’s why you have those evil evil urges to suck other men’s cocks in airport restrooms. You had a teacher with a Caligulan court and henchmen who made you that way. That’s totally it.
The original Adam and Eve were created by God as man and wife. To have sex like normal people. They did not date or experiment with alternative lifestyles, except for incest with each other, because they were the same person practically, made out of one person anyway, if that rib business is right, so Adam kind of married himself, which sounds gay to me. Gay as a leaf pile. That pile should not be sundered by Man, leave the sundering to God, he is good at it. Not so good at raking.
Hey, Adam and Eve have the same tailor as Gerry Spence!
Gunner001: Thanks for the closeup look at the twisted machinations of the paranoid/schizoprenic mind. Nadine, is that you?
Anyway, that was a work of art.