• February 15, 2012

When the producers told Tom DeLay not to dance, Tom DeLay danced. When the Cheryl person was like, “Seriously… just. You know what, it’s really okay?” Tom DeLay danced on. When the doctors reminded DeLay of his equal parts vague and debilitating foot injury, Tom DeLay chose samba, not fear. But the ambiguity of the foot injury has simply become too much to bear! And now he hath danced too much and there is no more dancing left in the world. DeLay: “If you can’t practice you’ll make a fool out of yourself out here, and I don’t want to do that to Cheryl.” No… avoid that for sure. [HuffPost]

{ 53 comments }

BeWoot October 7, 2009 at 9:59 am

Smeg.

Oldskool October 7, 2009 at 9:59 am

Lucky for him he can hobble in front of the judge at his sentencing. But he’d be better off with a cast on his soon-to-be-sore ass.

greywindz October 7, 2009 at 9:59 am

Long live Twinkletoes, at his suavest and chivalric best…

ManchuCandidate October 7, 2009 at 10:00 am

It appears that even Tom’s feet hate him.

takes12no1 October 7, 2009 at 10:02 am

Thank Gawd! But too late on not making a fool out of anyone Tom.

bitchincamaro October 7, 2009 at 10:02 am

What? Snakes with feet?

TGY October 7, 2009 at 10:02 am

Maybe there is a god, after all.

Nah.

phineas_bounderby October 7, 2009 at 10:03 am

Very disappointing. I viewed DeLay as the next Ginger Rogers. Or at least Arthur Treacher …

KilgoreTrout_XL October 7, 2009 at 10:04 am

Hmmm, you’re going to discard your precious publicity for the sake of another person, Tom? This doesn’t sound like the man who shamelessly pimped a terribly suffering and terminally ill woman he’d never met for political gain (pod person?)

Nanks October 7, 2009 at 10:04 am

QUITTER! But still more plausible than Piven’s mercury poisoning.

[re=428496]bitchincamaro[/re]: big LOL

TGY October 7, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=428499]phineas_bounderby[/re]: Not Ginger Rogers or Fred Astaire, but Fred Rogers.

FMA October 7, 2009 at 10:08 am

[re=428496]bitchincamaro[/re]: I don’t know. I don’t think the bug man is that advanced on the evolutionary ladder.

Crank Tango October 7, 2009 at 10:08 am

Work like you don’t need the money, because you are corrupt, Love like you’ve never been hurt, because that’s what hookers are for, dance like you’re not under indictment, and don’t shed a tear for the hammer.

hobospacejunkie October 7, 2009 at 10:11 am

Tom Delay’s mother sucks cocks in hell. Or sells socks that smell. One of the two.

Rascalcat October 7, 2009 at 10:14 am

On the bright side, the lovely and lithe Cheryl, has agreed to tour with the flabby-assed Delay once his delicate feet have healed.

They are doing a remake of “Beauty and the Beast”.

facehead October 7, 2009 at 10:14 am

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

chascates October 7, 2009 at 10:17 am

I just wished someone had slapped him and made both of his eyes focus on the same spot.

phineas_bounderby October 7, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=428504]TGY[/re]: “It’s a beautiful day with the lobbyists, a wonderful day in the smoke-filled room … please grease my palm … please grease my palm …”

Monsieur Grumpe October 7, 2009 at 10:20 am

He needs to get back to what he’s good at; poisoning things.

chascates October 7, 2009 at 10:22 am

Juli, any new pictures of SKS’s little critter?

ttommyunger October 7, 2009 at 10:24 am

Which answers the age-old question: how many fat-assed turds can dance on the head of a pin? NONE!!! by the way, too late on embarrassing your partner, mission accomplished there the first time she showed up next to you, Hot Tub.

S.Luggo October 7, 2009 at 10:26 am
phineas_bounderby October 7, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=428516]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yes, and I think his samba would have been much more impressive if he’d done it with one of those hand pressurized spray tanks strapped to his back. He could’ve danced to a syncopated version of “La Cucaracha”, and all the other bug men would’ve appreciated the in joke.

bfstevie October 7, 2009 at 10:26 am

He’s not quiting. A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket… and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. Also.

The Huffington Pogue October 7, 2009 at 10:28 am

He’s always one step behind Todd in trying to win over Sarah Palin’s heart.

geminisunmars October 7, 2009 at 10:30 am

He was just unDeLaying the inevitable.

norbizness October 7, 2009 at 10:31 am

I’ll start following Tom on Twitter when they can cram a criminal indictment into 140 characters or less.

S.Luggo October 7, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=428517]chascates[/re]: http://www.jonco48.com/blog/redhead.jpg

magic titty October 7, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=428526]geminisunmars[/re]: that’s just really bad.

Joshua Norton October 7, 2009 at 10:39 am

Gad! If Tommy Boy ever did the Samba his man-boobs would have knocked him senseless.

Extemporanus October 7, 2009 at 10:40 am

Goddamn pussyfoot.

Jumping Jim October 7, 2009 at 10:43 am

If there’s one thing Tom DeLay knows, it’s that if someone points a gun at your feet and says “Dance” you dance.

freakishlystrong October 7, 2009 at 10:44 am

Hopefully, he can use his new dance skills to get out of being the wife when he gets to prison.

chascates October 7, 2009 at 10:48 am

[re=428528]S.Luggo[/re]: Lad growed up fast. And has a suspiciously looking Newell/ginger-type of hair.

hobospacejunkie October 7, 2009 at 10:48 am

[re=428528]S.Luggo[/re]: Newell as baby billiken — that is frightening!

Gopherit October 7, 2009 at 11:07 am

[re=428528]S.Luggo[/re]: So young to have no soul.

Yes You Can Own A Piece of History October 7, 2009 at 11:09 am

[re=428512]chascates[/re]: There’s still time!

BigBrainOnBrad October 7, 2009 at 11:09 am

I sure hope Tom doesn’t have some rare form of foot cancer that will spread through his bones and kill him slowly with a lot of pain. That would be very sad.

Gopherit October 7, 2009 at 11:09 am

All those years of carrying around those giant cans of bug poison finally caught up to him. He can call it his war injurty.

zenferret October 7, 2009 at 11:29 am

He is quitting for the troops!

Accordion-o-rama October 7, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=428509]Rascalcat[/re]: How about “Cheryl and the Cyst”?

Barrelhse October 7, 2009 at 11:53 am

Cheryl must be one vapid airhead to partner with that asshat. Birds of a feather, don’t you know.

geminisunmars October 7, 2009 at 12:03 pm

[re=428529]magic titty[/re]: Thank you. He just brings out my best.

yargisbargis October 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm

[re=428587]zenferret[/re]: NO he’s quitting to save the the taxpayers money…somehow….

zenferret October 7, 2009 at 12:44 pm

[re=428613]Barrelhse[/re]: Just paid to do the show and drew the obviously short straw.

Rotund straw.

Portly straw.

Ancient straw.

Depends wearing straw.

Quit before getting kicked off straw.

ms_mcgee October 7, 2009 at 12:58 pm

“I don’t want to do that to Cheryl.” Hmmm. Was there a horizontal Samba going on here?

CaptWillard October 7, 2009 at 1:00 pm

First Kyle Busch doesn’t make The Chase, now this. I has a sad.

greywindz October 7, 2009 at 1:11 pm

[re=428657]ms_mcgee[/re]: You copied my photo…copyrights!!!

AbstinenceOnly Ed October 7, 2009 at 1:50 pm

The hammer done shattered like glass.

hiphophitler October 7, 2009 at 1:51 pm

The real problem was the Tom was too sexy for his shirt.

ShortShadey October 7, 2009 at 4:36 pm

[re=428526]geminisunmars[/re]: Win!

PlanetWingnuta October 7, 2009 at 5:12 pm

she should kick him in the nuts and get another celeberity to dance with her cause she aint a quitter like sarah palin..whut?

OzoneTom October 7, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Hey hey Tom DeLay!
God gave you
feet of clay.

Yes she did.

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