• February 15, 2012


Do you know how many candy canes were killed in order to make Tom DeLay’s dance outfit he wore on the dancing show the other night? This is a rough estimate, but… ~all of them. Anyway, bitchin’ rhinestone elephant decal on the back! It really catches the light, especially when Tom DeLay throws his arms up, mid-samba, to throw what appears to be dollar bills at his dance partner, a Job-like figure named Cheryl Dance. Ooh, and note how the light show is in red, white and blue, the official colors of candy canes who have been murdered. [YouTube]

{ 45 comments }

nbawriter October 6, 2009 at 2:57 pm

How come that clown from The Apollo hasn’t shoved this turd sausage off the stage yet?

PoignancySelz October 6, 2009 at 3:02 pm

His dancing is so brave. It’s like he interrupted his legal concerns to volunteer in Vietnam.
I’m not saying the two are the same, but, Keep fighting Tom, you gay gangster

SayItWithWookies October 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Tom Delay — the forgotten Huckabee.

freakishlystrong October 6, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Gawd what an oily, smug gasbag that old hack is. And her partner looks like an old lesbian…

AbstinenceOnly Ed October 6, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Lovin’ that inverted cross on his chest. Look at this queen sashaying about! You go, Auntie Christ!

ManchuCandidate October 6, 2009 at 3:06 pm

What a feeling (I am vomiting now), bein’s believin’ (I am dying now)
Douchebag comes alive, you can dance right through your crimes
What a feeling (I can really have it all)
What a feeling (Tom Delay stays alive when they call)
I have seen it all (I really have seen it all)
Have it all (Tom Delay stays alive when they call)
(call, call, call, call, what a feeling) He can have it all
(Bein’s believin’) bein’s believin’
(Take your douchiness, make it happen) make it happen
(What a feeling) what a feeling… [to fade]

RoscoePColtraine October 6, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Tom Delay insisted that if he wore a totally gay outfit on the show, that he be allowed to put the emblem of the republican party somewhere on his backside. Love the red, size three dancing pumps, Tom!!!

CorkPopper October 6, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Those are some mighty high heels on his red dancin’ shoes, is all I’m saying.

BobTheBuilder October 6, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Pretty cool that Tom took this opportunity to debut the new, official GOP dress uniform.

sanantonerose October 6, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Dear sweet heavenly Lord…could the judges cram their tongues any further up his slimy ass?

He’s. bought. every. single. last. one. of. ‘em. Or has something on them. Most likely the latter.

Jukesgrrl October 6, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Where on earth does one procure red Sans-a-belt pants in 2009?

RoscoePColtraine October 6, 2009 at 3:19 pm

[re=427842]Jukesgrrl[/re]: If anyone would know, it’d be Tom. He had to tell the costume designer, as a matter of fact.

Aurelio October 6, 2009 at 3:29 pm

They are gonna love him in prison.

Evil Dr. Puma October 6, 2009 at 3:31 pm

Has DeLay yet done “The Twist,” “The Hustle,” or “The Perp Walk?”

norbizness October 6, 2009 at 3:32 pm

MAKE ME A ROOT BEER FLOAT YOU OILY LITTLE SHITSTAIN

greywindz October 6, 2009 at 3:38 pm

la la la la laa bamba…

vladster October 6, 2009 at 3:39 pm

He needs 12 hours with Sully. SWEET JESUS!!!

lampadadog October 6, 2009 at 3:41 pm

The hip rotation he’s achieving is unbelievable.

BeWoot October 6, 2009 at 3:48 pm

If you watched the whole show, you’d know that Tommy Twinkletoes has a note from his doctor certifying that he has actual cloven hooves.

MLHencken October 6, 2009 at 3:48 pm

It hurts my eyes.

Aurelio October 6, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Since when is “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” a samba? “Desafinado” is a samba. “The One Note Samba” is a samba. If “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” is a samba, then anything can be a samba, except maybe a waltz.

But Tom’s cellmate won’t care what Tom calls it, will he? Just so long as Tom keeps moving his buttocks that way, he can call it anything he wants.

Aurelio October 6, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Guard: What are you guys doing in there?
Tom: The samba.

Blue_in_VA October 6, 2009 at 3:53 pm

Gah, I hope he never gets voted off. Best part? He was panting before the music even started.

greywindz October 6, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Rutherfraud B. Hayes October 6, 2009 at 3:55 pm

How could they leave out the vital, subliminal, arch-Conservative message of right-wing Funkaspiracy band War?:
“I see you standing in the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time”
Delay is dancing with communism.

Blue_in_VA October 6, 2009 at 3:56 pm

We should also note the odd synergy between barbershop quarter and samba. Such as.

PoignancySelz October 6, 2009 at 3:59 pm

[re=427952]Aurelio[/re]: your on a roll, aurelio. I wonder if he’ll refuse his presidential pardon from Palin

Blue_in_VA October 6, 2009 at 4:00 pm

See? This is why I never post on Wonkette. That’s barbershop quartet.

RoscoePColtraine October 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Delay is dropping out. I just learned it on FACEBOOK.

eclecticbrotha October 6, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Worst.
Cover.
Of.
A.
War.
Song.
EVAH.

I’m so glad this assclown hung up his dancing shoes. Slipping out of the GOP’s standard issue clown shoes is probably what caused the stress fractures. Also.

DangerousLiberal October 6, 2009 at 4:22 pm

[re=427892]Aurelio[/re]: Well, he looks great in stripes.

nightshift October 6, 2009 at 4:51 pm

I think I saw Liberace wear that outfit once, minus the elephant on the back.

randomsausage October 6, 2009 at 5:28 pm

say what you will, but wingnuts have great natural rhythm

Darkness October 6, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Somehow, this guy is SO gay, he’s all the way out the other side into idiotically, blithely straight.

bozofish October 6, 2009 at 7:44 pm

According to People Magazine, Dancing Tommy has hung up his death-dealing, high-heeled red shoes which have pulverized his feet into fractions of fractures. On doctor’s advice, he has “a bone stimulator machine that I put on them.” Um, yeah. But it’s not his long-suffering partner Cheryl who will now be a life-long Democrat. And who knew the Delay loves The Pixies.

donner_froh October 6, 2009 at 8:59 pm

[re=428295]bozofish[/re]: This is what a yahoo gossip site sez:

In addition to being a generally disgraced politician, he is one of the creepiest old white dudes with a t-shirt tucked into his sweatpants we have ever seen. Everything about him on this show makes us uncomfortable.

They list him as the second worst contestant ever.

http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/dancing-with-the-stars-the-shows-worst-celebs-ever–655

AutomaticPilot October 6, 2009 at 9:21 pm

If Obama was dancing it, would it be called the Sambo? (at least Sarah Palin would think so)

nightshift October 6, 2009 at 9:51 pm

[re=428295]bozofish[/re]: Wha? He likem the Pixies? I’ve been a fan of theirs for 15 or so years? What does this say about me? I have something in common with Hot Tub Tommy?

Cold War Unicorns October 7, 2009 at 12:26 am
artbot2000 October 7, 2009 at 12:38 am

He was saving the Texas two-step for last.

artbot2000 October 7, 2009 at 12:47 am

[re=427901]norbizness[/re]:

Win.

Rascalcat October 7, 2009 at 10:39 am

Dear Jesus,

Is there anything I can do to remove the images of Tom Delay shaking his flabby-ass, from my tortured soul? I know that “good taste” should have caused me to avert my eyes, but I was weak and am now willing to perform any pennance to have this dance blasphemy erased from my simple mind.

I promise to never watch such a thing again.

The “Cat”

ms_mcgee October 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm

He makes Steve Wozniak look GOOD.

jinxykb October 7, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Delay can always get a job working at Farrells Ice Cream Parlour.

Hu Jardon October 7, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Is it my imagination or is that an up-side-down crucifix being worn by Tom Delay? Is this Republican advocating Satan?

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