For those of you who like terrible Keith Olbermann, because he was the “only television host to make you happy during the Bush Administration,” tomorrow’s your lucky night, according to this frightening press release: “NEW YORK – Oct. 6, 2009 – Tomorrow night on MSNBC’s ‘Countdown,’ Keith Olbermann will present a Special Comment for the full hour on the need for and meaning of health care reform in the United States. ‘Health Care Reform: The Fight Against Death’ will be a program-length Special Comment by Olbermann, in which he’ll propose group action by patients, and how patients can reclaim the debate over health care reform.” The patients’ group action will be to meet at someone’s house every night to watch Keith Olbermann. THE OUTRAGE!
ALL CABLE TELEVISION IS POISON
October 6, 2009
{ 67 comments }
I’m pro-death.
The real test is whether or not he can keep up the outrage glare for the full hour. If not, its a total fail.
Will there be any commercial interruptions? Because when you take breaks it lasts longer.
The fight against death? Doesn’t KO know he’s not supposed to fear the reaper?
[re=427589]GayInMaine[/re]: I can already picture the saliva formation in the corner of his mouth.
“The fight against death?” Why, Keith Olbermann’s mother just died! How dare you be so insensitive, Keith Olbermann, about the death of Keith Olbermann’s mother!
If he had any nuts, he’d do the entire rant on helium.
At least I know that, tomorrow, someone will call me “sir”.
One hour of uninterrupted loud nose-breathing.
I wonder if he’ll include any endearing affectations he employs on his regular broadcasts, such as turning to the left and away from the camera and pretending to move/shuffle some papers while still finishing whatever remarks he is making. It really does impress me.
[re=427596]JMP[/re]: Dude, that was, like, only 4 blocks away from me…
This will be funny only if he forgoes a chair and spends the hour sitting on Betsy McCaughey.
A Mighty Wind.
Unfortunately Max Baucus just got to the script, and it’s now “The Halfhearted Effort against Most Serious Injury.”
i would defy any nfl or nhl or nba or mlb star to be in the kind of shape ko’s in — his ability to talk so fast and so accurately and so long, without on-air access to oxygen masks, is unmatched in broadcast television, or any of the four major professional sports. dude’s a stone cold marathoner. more to the point: he could play soccer for a full half. rock on, keith.
Keith Olbermann is Harry Potter, the boy who lived!
Hey, I liked his couple of little cameos on The Soup. Maybe he could have the interns laugh and hoot off-camera and act out some skits, that would be pretty great.
Jim, you’ve really got to let this Olbermann thing go. I know, he asked that spunky lesbian to the school dance instead of you, but he’s moved on. You should, too.
But, if there’s no “Worst Person in the Wooooorld”, how will libruls know who to hate?
WE NEED MORE ALL-CAPS OUTRAGE!!!!
Sorry Keith, the outcome of the battle against death has already been decided:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/10/Thetriumphofdeath.jpg
I’ll be watching if it’s not up against CBS’s new reality competition, So You Think You Can Blackmail David Letterman.
I hope he blames Bush for everything, and very scoldily.
Awe, I like Keith. He’s a goon of some sort, but I like that sort of thing.
After an hour of KO’s pompous brow-beating, my brain would feel a bit like Andrew Sullivan’s…area.
Better an hour of Olbermann’s outrage than five minutes of Leno’s “humor.”
I can’t stand his eight-second interludes with obscure references on Sunday Night Football… are there actually people who watch him for a full 30-60 minutes? Weird.
Damn, I’m gonna miss it. That’s when Mark Levine is on.
I love it when Keith does one of these long “Special Comments” and gets all drama-y. And the Oscar for the best Righteous-Indignation-If-That-Doesn’t-Work-Go-Slightly-Weepy-Voice-Cracking-While-Ranting-On-A-Cable-TV Show” goes to…(drum roll)…
No, I really do love it, and I love Keith.
To be fair, I like Keith because I have severe daddy issues. The issues are regarding someone else’s daddy obviously, as my father is short, bald, and actually a nice guy who never damaged me in any way. But I can’t find much of a reason for getting hot and bothered for men with gray hair and expensive suits, so I keep chalking it up to “daddy issues”.
[re=427628]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Maybe this picture, in which he looks like the bastard son of Charles in Charge-era Scott Baio and Groucho Marx, will assist you in a speedy resolution of such issues.
I hope the camera people have a spit shield in place ala Luby’s, Golden Corral & any cheesy ‘restaurant’ where you can get an all u can eat buffet.
[re=427628]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Any time a “straight” guy is this liberal I fall in love. He’s like my very own John Wayne.
He’s a loud nose-breather. Some of those self-serving exhales when he’s being “witty” drive me round the bend. Yet I watch. I watch.
Does this mean KO is against Death Panels? Cuz so far that’s been my favorite aspect of the Health Care Reform. I’ve been compiling a list of people to submit to the Death Panel, once they are formed. Don’t sh*t on my joy, Keith!
Well. I’m sure this will fix everything …
[re=427610]Godless Liberal[/re]: and, yes if you still have a grudge against “giant head”, you have got to let this go. There are much better grudges.
That was my special comment to the editors.
I know one day I will gay marry him
[re=427605]Prommie[/re]: If he spoke in front of one of those giant windmill generators, he could heat detroit for a week.
I like him because he is the only one in the MSM who actually calls those Fox fux out.
I also liked his Special Sauce rant about Spalin last year re: palin’ around w/ terrorists.
I actually thought he was…..patriotic. (Is there an emoticon for queasy?)
Instead, I think that I will watch Ben Affleck play Keith Olbermann. It was the only good thing that Ben Affleck has ever done.
a) Doesn’t he mean “Fight to the Death” instead of “Against Death.” That would mean more ratings.
b) Two things are inevitable… death and taxes. It is good that everyone is now addressing both. The Republicans are against taxes and pro death, while the democrats are pro taxes and against death. Now I understand.
I hear O’Reilly is counter-programming with an hour denouncing sexual harassment of co-workers.
What? How many millions?
[re=427591]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I really hate to comment on my own comment, but don’t you think it would be funny if they went to commercials in the middle of his ranting, and came back, and he was still going and had never stopped! No? Well, that idea struck me as funny.
[re=427628]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: So, you like the expensive suits? Mrs. Santa will be out of town this weekend. Just saying, you know, me, home alone, plenty of Rumple Mintz.
Hey, wouldn’t it be something if he got so angry and outraged that he had a heart attack right there on TV? And then he actually had to fight against death, right in front of us while we watched? Hey, maybe that’s what they’re planning.
[re=427638]you cannot be serious[/re]: For real. And don’t tell me the crew doesn’t have yards of outtakes of flying nose effluvia.
[re=427630]norbizness[/re]:
Well, that picture cured me. Of what, I’m not sure.
I’d loved to watch, but I have to wash my hair.
[re=427630]norbizness[/re]: And Dan Patrick looks exactly the same. Wow. He’s got some kind of time machine.
Did somebody kill his cat, Mrs Precious Perfect?
Keith Olbermann doesn’t stand a chance. He’s just one talking head vs. Death and a whole army of it panels already roaming the countryside killing the olds.
[re=427630]norbizness[/re]: Porn-stache Olbermann for the win! Or maybe he’s just the Drama Prairie Dog come to life!
I got nothing, but [re=427630]norbizness[/re]: that pic is teh win.
I really love me some Keith, probably because I can also be a righteous blowhard know-it-all, so I feel his pain. But I always skip his Special Comments because, and he seems not to realize this, it is him preaching to the choir, in the extreme. Lots of certain kinds of people need to hear his commenting specially, but those people wouldn’t watch his show in a million years. Tomorrow night’s spasm will be slightly different from the norm, so my comment on his special comments don’t really apply to tomorrow’s.
This is the 2,394th day since I declared Bill O’Reilly is a Douche.
[re=427630]norbizness[/re]: Great pic, but it would be better with Blingee
Especially the phallus on his tie
NOOOOO!!!! I used to love Keith before he went crazy with the rage. Now, he just comes off as bitter. If only Russert were still alive! Russert could have saved Keith (and us) from this insanity.
Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like Olberman’s little talks remind me of an attempted seance with Edward R. Murrow.
Less fighting with death, more Being-towards-death
To illustrate poor health, Keith will cook and eat Bob Costas.
How many times will they change camera angles for dramatic effect? Will KO take his glasses on and off to make a point? He’s really good when spit starts flying out of his mouth.
[re=427705]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Rush, BillO, and Glenn also preach to the choir. We need our choir, too. The problem is that Rush, BillO, and Glenn’s tune is the MSM’s earworm.
[re=427736]marioninnyc[/re]: Maybe the word you’re looking for is “shrill.”
Yep, his outrage has peaked. He should make football jokes like on Sunday night instead of special comments.
Keef,
Your not helping. Stick to sports.
STFU, please.
sorry, keithy. i’m afraid you loose this one. http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=keith+olbermann&word2=death
[re=427736]marioninnyc[/re]: Russert was a self-absorbed dumbfuck: hardly buoyancy for KO
[re=428251]Oldskool[/re]: Who the fuck of any interest watches football?
Nuthin’ wrong with KO. Don’t like a little hot air? Then watch DN’s Amy Goodman or the rat-eyed McNeil on PBS.
[re=428354]MGBYG[/re]: Word. It’s like you’re reading my mind, man.
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