Paultard Candidate: Don’t Call Me A Hero, But Basically What I’m Doing Is Akin To Singlehandedly Killing Every Nazi In WWII

  same principle

And so he says, 'Where dat baloney?'Connecticut Senate candidate Peter Schiff, who (by default) fills the role of the “Holy Spirit” in the Paultards’ Trinity of masturbatory fever dream starring actors, gave a rather epic quote to the Washington Post in an interview yesterday: “I’m interrupting my career. It’s not like I want my new career in politics. But I’m willing to interrupt it the same way that somebody interrupted their career and joined World War II and went off to fight the Nazis. I don’t think that I’m that heroic, and I don’t think I’m risking as much as a soldier. But it’s the same principle.” No, it’s actually the exact same thing. [Washington Post]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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79 comments

  1. Larry McAwful

    The media filmed him saying this, just like Leni Riefenstahl filmed Adolf Hitler saying things. It’s the same principle.

  2. bureaucrap

    “I’m interrupting my career. It’s not like I want my new career in politics.”

    Uhhh…I don’t even know how to respond to that.

    but back to the matter at hand. I always thought that Chris Dodd looked vaguely like Rudolf Hess. Or perhaps it was Goering. They’re so hard to tell apart.

  3. magic titty

    Everytime I bang my wife, it’s just like when someone else bangs Scarlett Johansson. I didn’t actually bang Scarlett Johansson, but when I bang my wife, it’s the same principle. So yeah, basically, I’m boning Scarlett Johansson. Going on fifteen years next March.

  4. Cape Clod

    Tell you what. I’ll vote for you if you agree to let me shoot at you every day for four years.

  5. thefrontpage

    Hey, Schiff moron: My father faught for this country overseas in World War II, as did millions of his contempories, putting their lives on the line selflessly, with courage, honor, bravery and just plain guts. Many of them were injured, suffering injuries that they courageously lived with for the rest of their lives. Many of them died courageously on the battlefields. Many of them made it back home, but with horrible visions of cold-blooded warfare in their psyches for the rest of their lives.

    All of this, and more associated with World War II, has absolutely zero, zilch, nada, nothing to do with running for some dumb political office. Nothing. Absolutely frickin’ nothing.

    And anyone who says such a stupid thing needs to issue an apology, effective immediately, to the millions of courageous men and women who gave their time, their work, and their lives to fight the good fight in World War II.

  6. shadowMark

    In the remake of “Patton” Drew Barrymore will play Omar Bradley and Dylan McDermott will play Patton because then they can work pretty sex and and boy-girl romance into the transformational arc of their friendship as they destroy the Nazis. It’s the same principle as “real life” it just has more hooks.

  7. JMP

    Yes, such a sacrifice, that you’re willing to leave business to become one of the most powerful people in the country. My, you really are a hero. And you will defend Freedom – as defined by Randian whackjob idiots.

    One word of advice for you, though: Blimp!

  8. Servo

    I don’t know what kind of meds he’s taking, but I want some.
    [re=427545]magic titty[/re]:
    Scarlett is only 24, sicko. Hee-hee.

  9. MLHencken

    I suggest a cage match with Linda McMahon, and the winner does on to a hot dog eating contest with Dodd.

  10. RoscoePColtraine

    “So I’ll be, like, 10 senators all by myself.”

    So he’ll be, like, the first teenage girl in the senate. And he’ll be, like, constantly sending notes over to that hottie Eric Cantor, messages like, hey you wanna come over after you finish work cuz my mom’s not home and I got Flo Rida on iTunes & we can listen to it; like.

  11. El Pinche

    You know..I love good Nazisploitation as much as the next guy, but the Paultards/Teabaggers infatuation with all things Hitler and Nazi is fucked up.

  12. bitchincamaro

    We already have a super regulator. It’s called the free market. The free market regulates if it’s left alone. The problem is, if it’s not left alone, it doesn’t work. Please excuse his idiocy, he’s been living under a rock in CT, apparently.

  13. Middy da Poo

    [re=427547]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I was thinking the same thing. What is it with these guys and their obsession with being a strange orangy-brown. Are they thinking this will help them get the brown peoples’ votes?

  14. mitch42

    Reminds me of Pete “Bad Analogy” Hoekstra.

    What is it with Republicans and their terrible analogies? Everytime they try to be metaphorical, it’s like they’re pissing on all English grammar books everywhere. Just like that.

  15. SmutBoffin

    [re=427555]JMP[/re]: Why does he have to play the whole “self-sacrificing public servant” game, anyway? Why can’t he just say “Look, we all know that I deserve this; not just the authority over you bozos, but all of the perks, fame, and staffer ‘tang. It’s you lousy collectivists who don’t deserve me. IT’S ALL IN THE FOUNTAINHEAD, PEOPLE!”

  16. Snarkalicious

    [re=427545]magic titty[/re]: You and me both brother, you and me both. Unfortunately, next time I ‘bone Scarlett Johansson’ (new meme, anyone?) I’ll be haunted by the image of that orange bastard up there preparing to fellate microphones. I demand an apology.

  17. Prommie

    All Paultards, all birthers, and many nutjob republicans and whackadoodle christians have very active fantasy lives, somewhat like they live in a dungeons and dragons world, or in the World of Warcraft. They have all this fantasy-drama stuff going on in their heads, like they are stuck in pre-adolescence.

    It is everywhere in the way they speak and what they post in teh intrawebs.

    They never just get angry and type shit from their basement, no, they are much more likely to “Take a Stand” and “Mount the Parapets” and Boldly Confront The Traitors in our Midst (they live in a capital letter world, too). They are Patriots, just exactly like the Founding Fathers, they are Saints just exactly like the Apostles, they are Bold, Dashing, Heroic John Gaults, just exactly like the fictional John Gault. They will Gain Glory Rescuing Civilization from the Forces of Evil, they will Restore the Republic and Vanquish the Infidels and Bring this Country Back To Its Christian Heritage.

    Oh, there are liberal examples, too, William Rivers Pitt comes to mind, with a shiver of embarrassment.

  18. Bowdoin

    [re=427544]bureaucrap[/re]: Goering was a ringer for Limbo. Hess, it was said, morphed in later years into the spitting image of LBJ. Tall, gangly, loopy.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    [re=427569]SmutBoffin[/re]: Because it’s pretty much the epitome of Randian self-interest to sacrifice one’s own well-being for the sake of others. That is, as long as you discount the fact that it’s completely antithetical to Randian self-interest to do that. And also the guy’s a self-aggrandizing liar.

  20. S.Luggo

    courant.com 9/17/09
    —Schiff was asked by “Morning Joe” host Joe Scarborough about health-care reform. The solution to rising health-care costs, Schiff said, is the same as the solution to most economic problems facing the nation: “the free market.” —

    Translation: If can afford health insurance, you get it. If you can’t, go off into a corner and die. And ta-ta to Medicare for them free-loading olds.

  21. Katydid

    There are exceptions of course, but when we Nutmeggers do elect Republicans, they’re generally not exceptionally odious. Sometimes we elect evil Dems and “Independents” (see Lieberman), but the Republicans are usually moderate and or even liberal (see Weicker).

    This asshole hasn’t got a prayer.

  22. trondant

    [re=427560]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Yes, and hottie Eric Cantor can get him Britney Spears tickets OMG!!111!

  23. JMP

    [re=427563]bitchincamaro[/re]: His complete lack of knowledge of real-world economics and history is ridiculous; but then, typical of modern Friedman-school economists. Hey, Mr. Randtard, you do know that this country went through a continuous boom-and-bust cycle back when he had the full free market system you want; and the final results were Greatly Depressing. Only government regulation under FDR put an end to it; until the 1980s, when the regulations were dismantled and a new boom-and-bust cycle, with ever-deepening recessions, began.

    To turn the great dipshit’s infamous quote into something that’s actually accurate, the free market isn’t the solution; the free market’s the problem.

  24. zenferret

    [re=427550]thefrontpage[/re]: His daddy fought in the war too. Well the “I don’t wanna pay taxes” war.

    Will they let daddy out of prison to see his brat sworn in?

    Well since he won’t be sworn in we’ll never know.

  25. AnSnarkist

    Peter Schiff, a failed economist, is now going to become a failed politician. Jack of two trades, master of none. Oh well, I guess he can always return to his job selling snake oil to people whose snakes are in need of an oil change.

  26. Big Liver

    About the funny orange color; there was in the medical literature some years ago a case report of a guy who had turned orange as a consequence of an uncontrolled passion for eating carrots. But the remarkable thing was, he couldn’t see it. Everybody else was worried he had something wrong with his liver, and he was like, “Why is everybody so worried about my health?” So he went to the doctor, who figured out that he just had harmless bio-flavonoid excess in his diet. So, maybe the orangeness of those politicians is invisible to them?

  27. magic titty

    [re=427556]Servo[/re]: [re=427570]Snarkalicious[/re]: I meant to put quotes around that, to paraphrase the Paultard, but eh, whatever.

  28. the problem child

    [re=427572]Prommie[/re]: You forgot the pretend blondes busting out of their tops just waiting in the wings for them to finish their pretend wars.

  29. Lascauxcaveman

    Most people manage to repress their self-aggrandizing internal monologues sometime, oh say, in their teen years, perhaps after reading the thoughts of Walter Mitty or Holden Caufield and realizing how comically pathetic those losers were.

    Others merely externalize those monologues.

  30. CaiteeCruelle

    [re=427560]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: OMG, why haven’t we heard from Meghan McCain on this issue? When is she announcing her candidacy?

  31. Norbert

    Peter “Narren” Schiff: “I am going to whip it out right here and now. You may all gaze in wonder, and the luckiest among you may suck it.”

  32. Judas Peckerwood

    I, for one, will celebrate the ascension of our generation’s Audie Murphy into the U.S. Senate.

  33. Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    Who doesn’t love a candidate that reads quotes from his WoW fan fiction during an interview?

  34. Spiro Agnew

    [re=427576]slappypaddy[/re]: Yea I caught that too. How does one join a conflict like that? I’m assuming there’s a significant elephant-walk ceremony.

  35. sezme

    Once I interrupted a masturbation session for awhile because I thought I heard my mom walking up to the door. Same principle.

  36. shadowMark

    [re=427590]Big Liver[/re]: If by “in the medical literature” you mean behind-the-scenes on “The Partridge Family” then I remember that. It was Susan Dey trying to deal with her fame:

    During the run of The Partridge Family, Dey had difficulties coping with fame, and she suffered both bulimia and anorexia. Her weight dropped to just 92 pounds, and she stopped menstruating. Her fingers occasionally turned orange from eating almost nothing but carrots. In 1971, during the program’s second season, she wrote an article for a teen magazine titled, “How I Licked My Weight Problem,” but the article was about how she had successfully lost weight. Eating disorders were not yet common knowledge, so when viewers worried about Dey’s skinniness, they often wrote in wondering whether she had some form of cancer or wasting disease. She has said it was only when Partridge Danny Bonaduce saw her in a bikini and grimaced, “You look disgusting,” that she knew she had a problem. During the Partridge years, Dey moved in with the program’s story editor, a man at least twenty years older than her. In the years since, she has married twice, both times to men many years older than her.

    NNDB Susan Dey

  37. finallyhappy

    [re=427620]CaiteeCruelle[/re]: There was a girl in my high school class who turned orange(many years ago). She was mainly only eating carrots to lose weight but got orangey as an added benefit(?)

  38. ManchuCandidate

    Army Recruiter this way —>

    Only redeeming quality of Peter Schiff was that he was correct that the subprime was about to blow (and boy did it ever.) But his solution for more free market is like prescribing more heroin to cure a heroin junkie’s addiction.

  39. Prommie

    Peter, don’t be a hero, don’t be a fool with your life
    Peter, don’t be a hero, come back and make me your wife.
    And as he started to go, she said Peter, keep your head low
    Peter, don’t be a hero, come back to me.

  40. One Yield Regular

    Ha. I interrupt my career nearly every day – in order to post on this site. But I’d never be so crass as to suggest that it’s like I’m fighting Nazis.

    It only *feels* like I’m fighting Nazis.

  41. problemwithcaring

    Another Jeffersonian quote from the Rosa Parks of historical metaphor. Jesus could have learned a lot from this man.

  42. steve

    I blame the refuklicans’ obsession with all things nazis and commie on (1) the History Channel; (2)the Time Life series on war, and (3) XBox 360 – that and just them being universally bat shit crazy.

  43. CaiteeCruelle

    [re=427634]finallyhappy[/re]: I heard about something similar having to do with a Barnard student in the mid-80′s. She was trying to save money on food by living on carrots, and turned orange. Maybe they will both find love with Germans. Or Paultards.

  44. JadedDIssonance

    [re=427568]mitch42[/re]: I agree, why does Obama have all the best analogies? We must be thankful at this juncture that Pete “LoamPecker” Schiff compared himself to Adolf “Steve Doocy” Hitler instead of Todd “Let’s Roll” Beamer.

  45. shadowMark

    [re=427652]Prommie[/re]: If he’d used a different war (movie) he could have metaphored that he was interrupting his career just for one river mission to go kill Kurtz who’s gone rogue … (but someone might have thought he was promising to kill Palin)

  46. mercure

    I had no idea who this guy is, so I looked him up on Wikipedia and found this quotable gem:

    “In The Wall Street Journal, on February 11, Schiff responded to his critics:

    My central investing premise, a weakening dollar and safety in gold, commodities and foreign stocks, didn’t materialize in 2008. But all the ingredients were (and remain) present for those movements to occur. Over the past year, market reactions that I didn’t foresee—massive global deleveraging, a knee-jerk ‘flight to quality’ into U.S. Treasuries and a sharp counter trend rally in the U.S. dollar—have kept the scenario from playing out.”

    Which is a perfect example of what I just read in my behavioural finance textbook as one of “five common ego defence mechanisms reularly deployed by experts to excuse the dismal falure of their forecasts.” (it’s Number 1, the if-only defence)

  47. bitchincamaro

    Yeah, that carrot over-eating thing can get rough, but not nearly as much as a diet consisting soley of beets.

  48. the deliverator

    [re=427634]finallyhappy[/re]: My kid loved the sweet potatoes and carrots baby food. Ate it CONSTANTLY. Turned orange. Doc said, feed him more green veggies too. went away. Truly bizarre. Maybe this guy is eating lots of carrots and sweet potatoes baby food?

  49. KilgoreTrout_XL

    I know exactly what he means- one time a girl passed out on my couch and I refused- REFUSED- to rape her. It was like I was Neil Armstrong plus the invasion of Grenada rolled into one.

  50. CorkPopper

    [re=427572]Prommie[/re]: Some former fundamentalist Xtian writer (too lazy to google) has said that one of the attractions of being a fundie is that it’s actually exciting if you really buy into it. There are Demons Everywhere, trying to Tempt the Righteous with Deception. The fundie is constantly on guard, battling the forces of evil in the form of sex, drugs, rock n roll etc. It’s like real-life WoW for these people.

  51. shadowMark

    [re=427767]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: I hope that wasn’t the girl’s main move and the next day she wasn’t all depressed/pissed off she didn’t get any sex the night before because some wuss refused to dive in while she was just waiting for it …

  52. lawrenceofthedesert

    Going out on a limb and predicting a burst bubble during the big 2006 bubble wasn’t just like Nostradamus, it was like 10 Nostradami. Every prediction of a downturn or upturn in the market eventually comes true, so predicting them is like saying “the Cardinals are going to lose a game.” In fact, Peter should change his moniker to GI Joe Nostradamus for the duration of the campaign; it would improve his chances of election.

  53. Deacon Frank Orris

    [re=427633]shadowMark[/re]: Yet again, Danny Bonaduce serves as the voice of reason.

  54. wuastwais

    The statement needs context.

    He is referring to the fact that he has been drafted to go to dc. He would be leaving a life and career in the private sector, to serve his country.

    This is not a reference to democrats being equal to the nazi regime. People familiar with schiff realize that he has, and continues to, openly criticized policy and not the party.

    Personally, I am a liberal, but I am not affiliated with any party. I support schiff for senate because he understands how the economic and monetary policies of bush/obama will lead this country to ruin.

    Think For Yourself – Question Authority

  55. shadowMark

    [re=428235]wuastwais[/re]: the economic and monetary policies of bush/obama — I strongly suspect that if you were “passed out” on my couch I wouldn’t fuck you.

  56. wuastwais

    [re=427825]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: The difference was that when he was predicting the decline, he was prediciting it would be sharp, like predicting the cards losing 20 in a row. This was also at a time when the mainstream concensus was that it was crazy, like picking the cubs to win back-to-back titles.

    Also, the final collapse he predicted, has not occured yet. He has predicted de-coupling. This is to say, the rest of the world will dump the dollar and stop financing the biggest debtor nation in the history of the world. You can see starting to happen as the world stops using the dollar as the currency of international trade for oil and other goods, and foreign central banks raise interest rates. The dollar is in serious trouble.

    Of course, the poor and those on fixed incomes will be hurt the worst, because they hold most, if not all, of their monetary value in dollars.

    Think For Yourself – Question Authority

  57. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=428235]wuastwais[/re]: I’m obviously not as bright as you, but would you mind walking me through the process whereby a freshman senator (let’s assume Schiff wins) goes to Washington, DC and fixes all the economic problems of the last three presidents? Because if he’s being drafted because of his wonderful, mysterious powers, I’d vote for him too. Nobody else in the whole senate can figure it out, hmm?

    Unfortunately, he strikes me as a sufferer of delusions of grandeur, just like Republican wunderkind Sarah Palin.

    Thanks for your signature quote. Wonketteers too often rely on the dictates of authority and prefer having what to believe told to them.

  58. AddHomonym

    SRSLY! Can we have some kind of National Day Without Hitler or something? Because we have not had one in a while.

  59. hobospacejunkie

    [re=428287]wuastwais[/re]: So that’s pronounced “what a waste,” right? As in what a waste to believe the bunkum Savior Schiff is selling you. Your earnestness is adorable. Or it would be if it weren’t so annoyingly douchey.

  60. wuastwais

    [re=428357]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Nobody else in the whole senate can figure it out, hmm?

    Nobody in congress can figure out simple things, like “cash for clunkers” was economic insanity, and prohibition of drugs causes the same problems as prohibition of alcohol.

    Also, most politicians are worried about re-election, especially in the senate.

    “Unfortunately, he strikes me as a sufferer of delusions of grandeur, just like Republican wunderkind Sarah Palin.”

    That is why i am replying to terrible articles, like this one, that attempt to paint schiff like palin. The difference is that palin is the idiot darling of the right wing religious fanatics.

  61. wuastwais

    [re=428357]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
    ” I’m obviously not as bright as you, but would you mind walking me through the process whereby a freshman senator (let’s assume Schiff wins) goes to Washington, DC and fixes all the economic problems of the last three presidents? ”

    I would not say it is the problem of the last 3 presidents. I mentioned those 3 because of their impact on the tech stock bubble and the housing bubble. In my opinion, the problem is that monetary and foreign policy do not swing between left and right, but instead are a continuation and are not up for serious discussion or debate.

    I do not believe he can fix all of the problems, but as 1 of 100 senators he can encourage debate and discussion in many ways. I am not optimistic people will listen, just hopeful.

  62. wuastwais

    What is a paultard?

    I know you are bashing ron paul, but why specifically?

    Do most people on this site hate dennis kucinich too, or is it just right wing sites?

    Think For Yourself – Question Authority

  63. wuastwais

    [re=428414]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
    I do not see schiff as a savior, just a reasonable person.

    Actually, wuastwais, is an acronym i used for my youtube channel. It stands for: Wake Up And See The World As It Suffers.

  64. clientnumber8

    Yeah, rag on the guy who spent a couple years pounding the table pointing out that the government was creating a massive housing bubble that would lead to a massive economic collapse! Because, ya know, he’s a paultard (tee hee hee!) and they’re just crazy. Because obviously the war on drugs is awesome, the Fed is innocuous, the PATRIOT Act is widely loved by everybody and only used responsibly, because this thing in Afghanistan is going remarkably well, because that thing in Iraq was oh-so-worth-it, because YES WE CAN spend our way to prosperity as long as it’s done with the BEST INTENTIONS…I mean, shit, who the fuck would support a paultard when this economic recovery (MIRACLE?!) is taking off – fuck, there’s a green shoot RIGHT OVER THERE!

    Yeah, stay away from the WWII analogies.

    “My father faught for this country overseas in World War II, as did millions of his contempories..”

    And what did you do? Apparently not a whole lot of “attending English class.”

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