Michael Steele! It has been a full forty-five minutes since he has last tempted John Boehner to actually murder him. Things are quiet… too quiet. Back on The Streets when things were too quiet, this meant that one of the Street People had to make a move. You can bet your Boston Terrier that Michael Steele has internalized the Street Lessons. John Boehner would be a FOOL if for one second he really believed that Michael Steele considered the GOP’s threats to be hip OR hop, ho ho ho! Manifestly, that sort of arrogance would get him GUN-KILLED back on the Streets! Michael Steele’s hatred of John Boehner is literally the only possible explanation for Steele’s latest thing: publicly announcing how much he loves ACORN’s leader, despite, of course, despising the work that she does and everything she stands for.

Michael Steele, ladies and gentleman:

“Now, I’m not a big fan of ACORN for a whole lot of reasons because of my own dealings with some of their folks over the years,” he continued. “But I do respect that it has a history of working the community and helping the poor. That unfortunately has been tainted in such a way that it now casts doubt on the entire organization.” […]

But three days later, in his statement calling on Democrats to investigate the group, Steele seemed to have made up his mind about the group’s future. ACORN, he said, “should never be allowed near another voter registration effort again.”

RNC spokeswoman Gail Gitcho denied any disconnect between Steele’s statements and his remarks in Arkansas.

“Chairman Steele has been consistent in his profound disappointment with ACORN and believes that until ACORN eliminates their deep and undeniable corruption, the organization shouldn’t be allowed near a ballot box or voter registration effort,” she said in an e-mail to CNN.

Sort of like how the GOP respects Michael Steele, but doesn’t think he should be allowed near… anything…

[CNN Political Ticker]

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  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    That’s not an ACORN it’s POOP!

  • Crank Tango

    Is it just me, or is Michael Steele not “street” enough for fucking Sesame Street?

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed


  • MLHencken

    More posts about Michael Steele, please.

  • Way Cool Larry

    at least this is better than reading about Sullivan coming for 12 hours

  • HopeyDope

    Michael Steele is the Bizzaro version of Obama.

  • Enturbulate

    More Poop-Sex AcrOn/Fisting, please.

  • stew
  • grevillea

    No more electoral taint!

  • SayItWithWookies

    For a black Republican hip-hopper who’s 51 years old, Michael Steele isn’t any more confused than I’d expect him to be. I mean, sometimes you have to take both sides of an issue to articulate the GOP position: one side for their professed principles and the other side for their actions.

  • chascates

    The RNC needs a more credible black spokesman, maybe Mr. T.

    [re=427210]stew[/re]: The word Pharisees has been replaced with intellectuals. And the project is removing government from the text. Not sure how they’ll work in Jesus owning guns but I have faith.

  • memzilla

    I never realized what a fountain of fun the Anagrams of “Michael Steele” are:

    Else The Malice
    Elite Scam Heel
    Ethical Melees

    As for who else shouldn’t be allowed near a ballot box or voter registration effort, that would be Waffentwerpenführer Steele’s own Failenpartei.

  • V572625694

    [re=427207]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Pretty sure Sully’s paying a bounty on hits from Wonkette. Can’t explain the Steele fascination, though.

  • MLHencken


  • V572625694

    [re=427210]stew[/re]: That’s a joke, right?

    The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34:[7]

    Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

    Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.

  • clientnumber8

    [re=427202]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: I’m highly disappointed that I haven’t seen any coverage of Obama’s pedophilia & fisting czar, Kevin Jennings. (google “Fistgate” or check out RegularFolksUnited dot com).

  • stew

    [re=427215]chascates[/re]: Not surprised if “Satan” is replaced with…oh, take a wild guess! Hint: begins with “O” and ends with “bama”.

  • President Beeblebrox


  • Extemporanus

    AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: He stuck ACORN kernel in his POOP, and called it macaroni!

  • crookedE
  • Sweet Baby Cheeses

    Wonkett is all politics, from poop to nuts!

    Seems all kindsa nuts are funny to you Wonkett–ACORNs, pistachios, trucknutz, teabag nuts, etc.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=427219]V572625694[/re]: Putting aside the fact that the Bible is full of mistranslations, Luke 23:34 appears in the King James Version, which many fundies like to claim is TEH ORIGINAL AND ONLIEST TRANSLATION EVAR!!!!!1 So unless King James I was a liberal pantywaist, they’re full of shit, as always.

  • Crank Tango

    [re=427229]crookedE[/re]: LOL so that’s where I got that from!

  • Sweet Baby Cheeses

    [re=427225]Extemporanus[/re]: you said it better than me–I was trying to work the CornNuts angle…

  • qwerty42

    [re=427224]President Beeblebrox[/re]: re: teh ALLCAPS: geeze, she got kinda shouty in a few places didn’t she?

  • doxastic
  • Sharkey

    [re=427220]clientnumber8[/re]: How ’bout you go fist yourself instead?

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427220]clientnumber8[/re]: That is not a real thing, is why. See, wingtards build these nifty opponents, called straw men, and then they attack them, and the straw men don’t fight back, because they’re made of straw, right? And then usually the wingtards, in a fit of repressed-homoerotic rage, generally end up impaling themselves, so we all win. Except for the “regular folks,” whom I advise to go fist themselves, vigorously.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427225]Extemporanus[/re]: These jokes fist themselves.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427248]Sharkey[/re]: Ahem ahem, amen. ‘Ey, men?

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=427220]clientnumber8[/re]: Obvious linkwhoring is obvious. Besides, we already knew the Obamas were into fisting.

  • Sharkey

    [re=427255]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: Indeed.

  • Sharkey

    [re=427255]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: Hey wait a minute, you started this whole fisting thing! Uhhh, so confused…

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427261]President Beeblebrox[/re]: IT’S TERRORIST FIST JAB YOU COMMY. And also, that’s clientnumber “backwards B,” not 8. Ahh, the trolls of cocktober. Banned from the YouTube comment sections, they worm their way to the Wonkett.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=427242]qwerty42[/re]: She also attracts weirdos like shit attracts flies:

    I looked up and immediately recognized an individual entering and approaching the serving counter, due to his well know [sic] TV displayed distinguishing features: his trim upper lip mustache, not large of stature and general olive complexion.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427265]Sharkey[/re]: Hey, all I did was appropriate someone’s observation that Sully was fisting a tree. Mr. Wingtard decided to appropriate my re-fist for himself, and the fist-cycle continued. So don’t tar me with that ACORN POOP! I’m a pacifister.

  • El Pinche

    Well if it’s going to be a Michael Steele party, then im going to stick my dick in the mashed potatoes:

  • ttommyunger

    Oh, Michael, you SO CRAZY!

  • El Pinche

    [re=427273]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: I say we all go fist [re=427220]clientnumber8[/re] with Kevlar oven mitts. He’ll anal leaking shitballs the size of acorns.

  • El Pinche

    [re=427290]El Pinche[/re]: He’ll be leaking…, that is.

  • zhubajie

    [re=427238]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Actually, King James VI of Scotland WAS a liberal pantywaist. Queer as a 3 dollar bill, too.

  • Crank Tango

    [re=427290]El Pinche[/re]: today, we are all fisting [re=427220]clientnumber8[/re] but i am gonna wear my “michael steele”-wool mittens!

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427297]Crank Tango[/re]: joke’s on you, clientnumber”backwardsB” is none other than the Oak-fister Andrew “Quagmire” Sullivan himself! And he can go all night long, and into breakfast.

  • Tommmcatt

    Where are they gonna fire this guy? There must be another African-American Republican somewhere.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427310]Tommmcatt[/re]: JC Watts & Alan Keyes just got gayblackmarried, so I guess that means they’re out! And I must say, FINALLY, sistaz!!!!

  • Darkness

    Chairman Steele has been consistent in his profound disappointment with Blackwater and believes that until Blackwater eliminates their deep and undeniable corruption, the organization shouldn’t be allowed near our armed forces or country rebuilding effort,”

    Consistency would be really really welcome. Hypocritical fuckers.

  • hobospacejunkie

    The more time republicans fritter away wagging their fingers at the misdeeds of ACORN the less energy they have to fuck up really important things. Not that ACORN doesn’t do important work, but these days there are bigger fish to fry, like the salmon of health care & the tilapia of global warming.


    You’re pranging out,
    I see through you,
    This voice is talking to me,
    This aint even funny
    I see through you,
    I’m about to do something stupid.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=427295]zhubajie[/re]: Did you party last week? Parades, fireworks??

  • dijetlo

    The oddest part is they think the bible is the immutable word of God, every syllable to be taken literally.
    ‘Course, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t edit it to suit their current political beliefs…

  • PoignancySelz

    [re=427210]stew[/re]: before you leave the home of the brave, you know they have a failed health care system right? I ain’t far behind.

  • S.Luggo

    No acorns will fit into the Big Tent,
    Nor napppy-haired, field-hand Negroes.
    — Michael “Taking It To The Street” Steele

    I should apologize. The question is, to whom?

  • Johnny Zhivago

    You know what the most awesome thing about Michael Steele is?

    He loves dogs!

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    “Pronunciation from the administration in the situation” Yeah! Hip Hop, Beeotch!
    Although he didn’t say ‘perpetrator’.

    Street cred gone.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    I laugh hysterically every time I see that picture of him an his dog. He looks like an SNL parody of a Bond villain.

    I said it before, but Steele is either laughing all of the way to the bank (i.e. willing to be a clown for the money), or he’s crying himself shitless every night before he goes to bed in recognition of how shameless and silly he is. Actually, there is one other possibility: he’s really that oblivious as to how he’s viewed…

    Sacré bleu! Michael Steele is Michael Scott!

    I’m beginning to think that the Republican Party is just some GOP Fight Club, and that the whole ‘political’ wing of things is just a racket to fund their underground fights.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=427241]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: Chk Grssly is Captain CornNUTZ.

  • Darkness

    [re=427339]dijetlo[/re]: If I were dictator things would be different. I’m sorry, you are not allowed worship the literal word of this God unless you test at 90% proficient at Aramaic, Hebrew and Ancient Greek. As in, you can actually read it in order to obsessively follow it. No? Sorry then. Oh, the Church of Dale Earnhardt’s Ghost is accepting new members down the street . . . try there.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=427327]hobospacejunkie[/re]: and the orca that is overfishing

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=427306]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: And I’ve got the poached eggs to prove it.

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