Wonkette
Fake war person Bill Kristol went on the Fox News over the weekend to talk about how Barack Obama “lost the Olympics,” oh boy. Now in spite of the Weekly Standard’s furious scrubbing attempts, we already knew, thanks to the magic of the Internets, how Bill Kristol and his chums at the Standard responded to Friday’s announcement: with raging monster boners. So the real treat in this clip is to hear Bill Kristol do his “Obama voice” (around :24). It is that of a Muppet. [YouTube]
Here’s another irony: after years of failed predictions and overt factual mistakes, what the bleeding hell are you doing sharing opinions with anyone/anything other than your collection of stuffed animals, Bill? Oh wait, that’s a travesty.
Bill Kristol is a Megadouche.
In China, it used to be that a son was expected to take several years off work for mourning when his father died. Just saying…
Bill Kristol: in our national epidemic of stupidity, he’s Patient Zero.
Just when I think this guy *can’t* be any more of an ignorant, incompetent asshat…
But he was pretty funny in Shitty Lickers.
This weekend, on a walk, I was outside the building in NYC where Fox news has its studios. The biggest thing was some mobile game vans where you could play Wii and Guitar Hero and other games for free on the street. I guess some Fox whore was going to do a story abut this? I didn’t know, didn’t play and didn’t stay around lest my brain cells started to rot by my proximity to the many morons inside.
Yes, totally bullied them by doing a presentation and ASKING NICELY. SO RUDE. ZOMG Bill Kristol attempts irony and satire with a license!
Next up: fare recreations of the presentation the President used for the Olympic committee with a clunky old overhead projector!
Bill finds life good. No more sharing the spotlight with crazy old Irving.
Oh yes, that bullying and hegemonic “let’s work together” theme. How gauche.
They are jerking each other off under the desk, aren’t they?
Poor Bill Kristol–it’s not his fault that he got humped by Andrew Sullivan for twelve hours one time and lost his capacity for analytical thought.
the importance of this event does not match the republicant response. is that ironic? you decide.
Chicago lost the Olympics because high school kids are systematically beaten in the streets, the government is a bunch of organized grifters, and the weather is horrendous.
Or, Obama just blew it personally. Whatevs.
I fucking hate Obama for handing them this. This is like all the short bussers laughing at the class valedictorian for stepping in dog poo.
What about the part where he says our economy doesn’t need the boost? Though granted, the 2016 games are quite a ways away and HOPEFULLY we’ll be doing better by then, it’s more than a little tone-deaf to say right now that our economy doesn’t need a boost.
FIRST they whined and stamped their little feet because Obama went to Copenhagen in the first damn place. THEN they’re all “haw haw stupid Obama, you didn’t get the Olympics, way to go Mr. Dumb President, if he can’t get the Olympics how can he yarda yarkel yappity.” And the thing is, if Obama HAD succeeded in getting the Olympics these douchetards would all be whinging about “Chicago political thuggery!” “OMG all the security and $$$ blah blah blah that’ll have to be spent!” “Why doesn’t O’Bammy stay HOME and do something useful blart snorkel blargh!” Fuck ‘em all. They’re useless. Why do they hate America besides.
imagine if George Bush had done this.
Hmmmm, Billy, I don’t have to “imagine” that.
http://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2008/01/20080107-3.html
fucking douche
WadISay: A+
Yeah well he’s right of course. Obama showing up to ask for the Olympics ALONG WITH THE KING OF SPAIN AND OTHER WORLD LEADERS was SO heavy-handed, so W. the exact same thing as ignoring intel reports about terrorists determined to use planes as bombs, and creating fake WMD connections and invading Iraq. Oh THE IRONY!!!
RoscoePColtraine: I don’t think Obama handed the tards anything. If he hadn’t gone, they would’ve said he doesn’t care blah blah blah; if the 2016 games ended up in Chicago without him going, they would’ve said it was no thanks to him; if he went and got the games, they would’ve cried Chicago corruption etc. Obama could cure cancer and prove that eating McDonalds is healthy and the asswipes would still complain.
RoscoePColtraine: Pah — it’s more a reflection on how completely bankrupt the right is than on Obama’s persuasiveness. If Chicago had won the 2016 games, you can bet they would’ve found a way to criticize him over that. Let them act like self-serving brats — it’ll turn off more of the voters.
I just love how Kristol is eating this up because he’s staying on the topic rather than backing off. When are the Republicans going to realize that their ideological keynoter has the gesticulations of Mussolini, the strategic vision of William Westmoreland and the face of Mr. Limpet?
marioninnyc: You do realize that the King of Spain doesn’t actually lead the country, right?
I think that’s the voice he uses when Hume is blowing him to set the mood.
This was a no-winner for Obama. He was going to catch shit from the Republitards and tebaggers no matter how it came out.
“How dare he consort with the Foreigns! This is just another move towards World Government!”
There is nothing funnier than Bill Kristol discussing hegemony on Fox.
or nothing more predictable.
Can we do physical appearance on this pant-load? Cuz he has some *huge* tits.
WadISay: The Washington Poost must be very proud.
~
It’s fascinating to hear what it sounds like when the valve is opened on a guano faucet.
Billy Kristol is not a very good comedian anyway.
Advocatus_Diaboli: SayItWithWookies: Points taken. And I agree with your assessment. Now that I think about it, my comment reflected my own personal opinion that Obama didn’t need to spend the energy and resources to personally appear in Denmark. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m about zero when it comes to caring about the Olympics. So now that he went and came back empty handed, I figure, well, shit happens.
Advocatus_Diaboli: I just read that a got a glimpse back at what it was like with the Frat-Boy-in-Chief. Let’s not forget that. What a relief to have a President who can speak intelligently.
RoscoePColtraine: Well neither does Barry.
Billy Meth, what a guy.
The US doesn’t get the Olympics even though Hopey went and asked nicely? Ironic…
Spending a decade begging that we invade Iraq based on a fevered violence-profit-power wet dream of the Republican party?
Not ironic at all, actually.
It’s nice to see that even while we’re still paying for his mistakes, he’s managed to put the past behind him…what a guy
they are a bunch of war criminals, they make me want to puke
If being a fuckhead were an Olympic event, Billy would be on the Wheaties box.
Anti-American scum like Kristol should be put on trial for treason.
Well, yeah, cause Billy’s always right about everything, (it’s the SMUGNESS).
widget09: Yeah, get off TV and go make City Slickers 3.
I am repeatedly punching Kristol right through my monitor with my mind.
That vile shared chuckle at the end–Kristol, Hume and Juan Williams–caused hate and loathing and rage I haven’t felt since, well, since the last Fox circle jerk made the internet rounds. A death panel for the douche panel, please.
When it looked like Chicago might win, wee genius Robert Reich was on MSNBC saying, Oh yes Olympics good, immediate jobs, money just pouring in. But in fact the claims that this conclave of spoiled baby professional athletes is an net economic benefit are mostly if not all bogus, just like the claims about NFL or MLB teams bringing jobs and moniez. The Beijing bird’s nest stadium hasn’t been used once since the 2008 Chauvanistics, and costs $10M/year to maintain.
Actually seeing graceful, capable athletes at the peak of their careers perform is wonderful. All the medal-counting, flag waving and anthem-playing is disgusting.
Crank Tango: No, we have the Duke of Earl.
RoscoePColtraine: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
RoscoePColtraine: And Obama does?
V572625694: “The Beijing bird’s nest stadium hasn’t been used once since the 2008 Chauvanistics, and costs $10M/year to maintain.”
They should just let it rot, then let Hollywood pay to blow it up for the climax of Terminator 7.
widget09: Dick Cohen’s funnier.
We all know why Chicago didn’t get the Lympics
That’s right…. Bill Ayers is still there, and that Rev. America-hater,
maybe we should bomb the IOC too, also
First Cris Cyborg vs Gina Carano, now Sao Paulo vs Chicago. What’s next Embraer vs Boeing?
dr.giraud: Yeah, that got me too. They are all so gemütlich.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Xactly
And I thought John Edwards was a douche.
RoscoePColtraine: Is that like the Earl of Bud?
…will someone give him a vagina punch please!
Advocatus_Diaboli: Yup. Obama is damned no matter what he does or doesn’t do. The Republitards just make me sick.
But for the record, I think Brazil deserves the Olympics…
Once again, and now very appropriately: penis.
Schadenfreude FAIL! This is High School schadenfreude, even. Kinderschadenfreude, yea Kinderkristolschadenfreude in the Germanic traditions.
widget09: my joke had more poo
AbstinenceOnly Ed: see?
slappypaddy: BK is employing the Alanis Morrissette definition of irony, i.e. it means whatever the fuck he wants it to mean. Or nothing.
Whatever. Let it not be said that Roger Ailes is not the world’s most talented puppet master.
Hey, at least Little Orphan Billie finally did an honest appraisal of the Bush administration. Pointz for putzes where pointz iz due.
Even Bill Kristol’s stuffed animals laugh at him for his many, many failed predictions.
Correction: Bill Kristol does not now and never did possess a giant boner. A tiny pez dispenser shooting blanks is more like it.
dr.giraud: Awesome idea! End-of-the-World movies are back in style now that a muslin democrat’s in the “White” House.
TGY: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Technische Hochschule in Garmish-Partenkirchen freude.
RoscoePColtraine: Thats a win, +1
V572625694: The Beijing bird’s nest stadium hasn’t been used once since the 2008 Chauvanistics, and costs $10M/year to maintain.
Yeah, Chicago already has a $10M/yr Bird’s Nest: Oprah’s minge!
(And I’m with ya on the other stuff.)
Ooohh, Israel is poking the hornets nest again, blocking access of muslims to Al Aqsa. This guarantees that Ahmadenijad will spit in the general direction of Isreal. Bill is gonna be busy explaining why this means we must nuke Iran now, because when Obama asks other international countries to do things, he gets dissed like the IOC dissed him, so international pressure anmd sanctions can’t work because of Obama’s Olympics fail. Therefore, Nuke Iran, QED.
V572625694: It seems to depend on what the city builds. If it’s all just bird’s nests or actual practical infrastructure, like Athens public transport system.
roscoepcoltrain @ 1:45 pm: The King of Spain is technically the Head of State, while the Prime Minister (who was also there) is the Head of Government. The Japanese Prime Minister was there, as were the Presidents (Head of State AND Head of Government) of Brazil and the United States.
GEM_in_Orange: well, the King couldn’t go. Let’s face it, Elivs has left the room.
GEM_in_Orange: Noted. I was replying to “King of Spain and OTHER world leaders.” Ah, never mind.
I kinda like how Barry leaves them to make asswipes of themselves day-in and day-out. And you have to admit they do a great job without trying very hard. Imagine if they really applied themselves.
How come kristol always has splooge on his face?
MzNicky: Don’t forget if he Hadn’t gone and we LOST anyway, they would be saying “way to go Obama, you lazy jerk if you had gone you could have saved America’s pride on this”.
And if he didn’t go and we had won, they would say “see what a loser Obama is, they won it without his big fat help, ha ha ha…”
Jeebus, what a prick. That’s the first (and last) time I ever talk myself into watching him.
This boob should have a bevy of dancing bananas with “PENIS” signs following him in perpetuity, LITERALLY.
Sorry, ambiguously phrased, I said “king of Spain” because I meant to separate from the world leaders. Should have been: obama and other world leaders as well as the king of Spain. god you people are so literal. But loved the riffs.
I was about to upbraid the Kristol Unit for general douchebaggery, but he’s in mourning. So I’ll limit this to upbraiding him for mourning a douchebag. Splat! Got ‘em both.
marioninnyc: Hey didn’t Sting or the police sing about that guy in their song “King of Spain?”
“You’ll always be/King of Spain…”
It’s been a while since “William the Bloody” had anything to smirk about. As you can see, it does not take much.
Love the objection and beat-down. “He wasn’t trying to bully-” “He WAS trying to bully them! On your knees and kiss my luscious feet, you peon! Or do i have to start using the ball gag again?” “Yes, Mistress Kristol! Please don’t beat me again, mistress!” *nervous laughter around the table*