Wonkette
- One hundred years from now, school children will marvel at how obtuse Americans in 2009 really were. “How could they not have known Barack Obama was a Reptilian Shapeshifter?” the children will ask. And then their civics teacher Mr. Floyd will chuckle and reply, “They were very stupid. Very very stupid.” [True/Slant: Harmon Leon]
- Meanwhile, Michelle Obama goes on Sesame Street. But does she compose an awesome song about geometry, just like Philip Glass did? [The Caucus]
- Glenn Beck is the loneliest man on the earth. [Think Progress]
- Is it at all surprising that Creigh Deeds loves taxes more than he loves his children, but also hates Democracy with all his heart? No. No, it is not. [RedState]
- There is serious money to be made disrespecting Republicans. Just ask Alan Grayson, who is now officially rich. [TPM]
republicans are all closeted retards, and are hella gay for dead reagan. Also they are really racist, moreover. can I get my check made out to cash please?
Joe Wilson didn’t yell “You lie!” he yelled “You eat flies!“
See, we just didn’t have the incentives right. What it takes to get the attention of democratic congresscritters is not an appeal for what’s right — it’s the moniez. HOOOOR! (But our HOOOR)
Glenn Beck: one more victim of the Lindsay clap.
“Bay Area UFO Expo”? They must be stacking the crazies up like cordwood, ‘cuz that shit was near about full up before some genius organized an “Expo”.
God, I love David Icke; his theories make even the LaRouchists sound sane.
When Glenn Beck was a kid, he’d run to the mirror every time he cried to see how good it looked. (Okay, Roscoe did too…difference is, I stopped before I growed up.)
JMP: Put the pieces together like SkoalRebel would. If birds are descended from dinosaurs that would make chickens some kind of feathery reptiles and if some people are really reptiles that just look like people that would explain all the chicken fucking that is apparently going on. Ipso facto quod erat demonstrandum. Spit.
Crikies, I think most righties would find comfort in knowing Obama is a lizard-man just so long as he’s not a Kenyan, muslin, socialist, facsist lizard man who wants socialized veterinary care for cold-blooded creatures. Also what’s with the breeding with non-human races, whatever happened to interbreeding among species?
queeraselvis v 2.0: Also known as “Grahamorrhea”.
No wonder the birfers can’t find Obama’s birth certificate in Kenya. They should be calling PetSmart.
Don’t act so surprised. Minnesota tried to ward us about the Lizard People, but we were too proud to listen!
queeraselvis v 2.0: The phrase “Lindsey clap” immediately made me think of Lohan, and now you’ve put an image in my head that I can’t get out of it. Uggh.
Beck is “not aligned with any party.” Nice try Lindsay. But he’s yours. So suck it.
Weirdly enough, if you skip the parts about reptiles, most of what David Ickes said makes sense:
Even people who we think, people who are on top of the power– Prime Ministers, Presidents—are nowhere near the top…“The idea that George Bush is Big Brother? Crikey! He’s not even Little Sister—he’s just a vehicle for these people. These Prime Ministers and Presidents are there to introduce whatever is told to them by the powers above them. ” Icke describes Obama and McCain as two masks on the same face…
“This guy came absolutely out of nowhere to become the presidential candidate. But he didn’t come out of nowhere—he was backed by the powers that be!”
IT is time to go to the White House to kick ass and chew gum, and we are all out of gum.
we will need some of those nifty sunglasses so we can tell the lizards from the real people.
Seseme Street?? Indoctrinating our littlest patriots into becoming Stalin/Hitler lovers who will turn in their parents and tell the census takers where the guns and bullets are stored???
I’d take my kids to work that day, if I had kids that age and if I didn’t work at home.
JMP: Lizard Baby Glenn Beck makes David Icke seem reasonable, so, there’s that.
Uncle Joe: and i bet he sucks it well! not that i want him on mine
SayItWithWookies: I took your suggestion and contacted PetSmart.
They acted suspiciously cagey when questioned, but ultimately directed me to this website for further information. What I found there was shocking!
I was then able to track down even more incontrovertible proof of Obama’s reptilian roots. David Ickes is right: Our president is one cold blooded motherfucker!
Native of SL UT: They live…but not for long! “V” is for “victory”!
(To mix my movie metaphors…)
slavojzizek: Like anti-Semitism is socialism for morons, David Icke is critical theory for retards.
At a rally in Northern Virginia, someone was holding up a “What About Taxes” sign. A Deeds staffer went after the guy. I mean, how dare anyone ask Creigh Deeds tough questions.
If “What about taxes?” is a tough question in the teabaggers’ minds, then our national conversation for the next few years will probably sound like one you’d have with a small child. Specifically, one that the delivery-room nurse dropped on its head.
“Experts say Senator John Ensign may have violated ethics laws by helping an aide get work after having an affair with her husband.” This is a caption on the top page of NYTimes web right now. Can someone explain this to me?
I thought Ensign was the one who had sex with some lady, and then had his parents pay her off. Did he then have sex with her husband too, maybe just for reasons of fairness?
slavojzizek: definitely true– Icke makes some decent points. But the reptile bit is ridiculous.
Ha ha, NY Times says Sen. Ensign is teh ghey. Well, if FOX can call miscreant republickers Democrats, why the hell not?
Quoth Grayson’s aide, in a response to an angry Republican constituent:
“As you know, we do support the health care plan and feel failure to act is similar to murdering the uninsured. On the other hand, we respect differences of opinion and I will let him know how you feel.”
Grayson aide makes boss look like a linguistic conservative
Seriously, I can’t be the only one here subscribed to the Orlando Sentinel’s politics feed.
Extemporanus: Wow — that first site — and I thought people who saw Jesus on a slice of toast were crazy.
don’t tell anyone, but mister floyd looks an awful lot like a komodo dragon.
SayItWithWookies: Obama’s etheric entities totally give me the chills!
And I don’t know if you checked out the other amazing articles linked to at the top of the page, but I can guaran-fucking-ty you that Glenn Beck’s writers have.
Alan Grayson was already rich — estimated net worth of $45 million. Rockefeller has been fighting for the p.o., Kennedy would have presumably. This is why we must agree to only elect the obscenely wealthy. Guys like Baucus and Conrad can be bribed for chickenfeed. Literally.
Guppy06: the only one here? you might be the only one anywhere
Norbert: That’s the principle that the ancient Romans used to have. Caesar’s collaborator Marcius Licinius Crassus ran for office on the platform that “I am so incredibly rich no-one could possibly bribe me”.
Know what? When I was a little girl (a long, long time ago, in a place far away) and just learning to roller-skate, I got some “entities” on MY knees when I hit the sidewalk.
Please don’t turn me in.
Norbert, I like the way you think. Now if we could just make the obscenely wealthy with a social conscience bullet-proof, we might stand a chance.
doloras: o sapientia maiorum aeterna!
I’m horrified that I share a line of thinking with Lindsey Graham. Horrified.
Perhaps if Peter Weller were a bit more convincing as Buckaroo Bonsai, we would still be dealing with these shape-shifting reptilian hybrids from the 8th dimension anymore.
Limbaugh criticized Glenn Beck for being…well, Glenn Beck? As Eric Stratton, Delta House Rush Chairman (Damned glad to meet you) says “Heh! That makes sense.”
“Glenn Beck is the loneliest man on the earth.”
Good.
Evil Dr. Puma:
“Glenn is the loneliest, numbnut Glenn is the loneliest
Numbnut Glenn is the loneliest numbnut that you’ll ever view
Glenn is the loneliest, Glenn is the loneliest
Glenn is the loneliest numbnut that you’ll ever view”
Godot: exactly what i was thinking. obama IS the lizard people!!! as well as al franken.
All of our politicians are reptiles, especially in the Rep(tile) Party.
Way Cool Larry: That’s right! As slimy as most of our pols are, they have to be amphibians!
doloras: The Athenians were astonishingly successful choosing their leaders by lottery! Of course. the average Athenian may have been smarter than the average American….
Norbert:
The intention of the founding Fathers all along was that the Senate be composed of landed, wealthy individuals, who, by virtue of not being democratically elected (appointment by state legislatures = no campaign funding, get it?), said wealth (not to mention their inner bestest civic virtue) would render them immune to the bribes, importuning and selfish cajoling of the blood-sucking merchant/banking class.
BTW, the FF hated them some bankers.
Knee entities. I’ve got to remember that one.
Oooh, Lindsay Graham, you catty bitch. Only in America can you make that much money crying. MeeOW!
zhubajie: The vast majority of Athenians were ineligible to serve (or vote), because they were underage, female, poor, or enslaved. Democracy, my eye.
Whew. I read that as “One hundred years from now, school children will marvel at how obese Americans in 2009 really were.” Which suggests that they’ll be less obese in 100 years. Which I see no evidence of.
Wooo-hoooo - you go, Alan Grayson!!! Next I want him to put John Boner in a head-lock and mess up his hair on national teevee.
Guppy06: Well, after that aide’s comment I am.
Zadig: …Also. If Lindsay Graham thinks you’re a whiny little bitch-baby, there are officially no lower depths to sink to.
This is just to say…I have clicked on the Phllip Glass Link and watched it. I loved the nostalgia it brewed in me, so juicy and delicious. THANKS FOR THE RANDOM LINK RILEY!