PULITZER MUCH?  9:53 pm September 30, 2009

Washington Post Furry Gets Blown In Back Alley

by Jim Newell

Wonkette’s Newspaper Furry operative “Dan” sends this disturbing, secret sex picture and writes: “Attached for your pleasure is a digital photograph my girlfriend captured from my balcony. It was taken at this past weekend’s ‘Fiesta DC’ Latino block-party in Mount Pleasant. The dog-thing is apparently the Washington Post’s mascot (they have one??) who was getting dressed in a parking spot behind my building.” Official furries paying for back-alley blowjobs while on duty: this is what the Washington Post calls “journalism” now.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 74 comments }

joe twelve pack September 30, 2009 at 9:58 pm

what a dream!

glamourdammerung September 30, 2009 at 9:58 pm

Still better than “Mouthpiece Theatre”.

btwbfdimho September 30, 2009 at 9:59 pm

While the young guy plays with the dog’s tail. Take that one, you Moonies at the The Washington Times!

ManchuCandidate September 30, 2009 at 10:01 pm

Sometimes I feel I’ve got to
Run away I’ve got to
Get away
From the fur that you drive into the face of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I’ve lost my light
For I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night

(chorus)
Once I read you (I read)
Now I’ll blow on you
This furry love I’ve given
I give you all a subscriber could give you
I’ll buy your paper and that’s not nearly all
Oh…furry love
Furry love

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us September 30, 2009 at 10:03 pm

Haha– Wapo furry getting head from lady lolrus and a reach-around from her baby. O wait. Those are people. My bad

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 10:07 pm

Dickie Cohen? Or George Will?

FunkyPalmettoBug September 30, 2009 at 10:09 pm

[re=424079]Crank Tango[/re]: Cohen wears a female fox costume, Will is a psychedelic walrus..so that has to be Gerson or Kristol.

sezme September 30, 2009 at 10:10 pm

Bad dog!

obfuscator September 30, 2009 at 10:12 pm

GIVIN’ THE DOG A BONE!!!

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 10:13 pm

By the looks of her, I think it’s safe to assume that swallows.

SparkleKitty September 30, 2009 at 10:14 pm

OMG…those Latino-istas are all about sex. Or something. Thank GWB I’m not a G-child of dead Latinos. They’d be so offended.

SparkleKitty September 30, 2009 at 10:16 pm

Oh, actually I am a g-child of dead latinos! They are offended!!! But they’d probably laugh, after they got over their offense.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 10:16 pm

That bitch is gonna give him fleas.

shadowMark September 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm

Girls go down for dogs in hats.

Oldskool September 30, 2009 at 10:20 pm

Disturbing on many levels. Wonder what happens when the kid pumps the tail up and down.

DangerousLiberal September 30, 2009 at 10:20 pm

If only Katherine Graham were around to see the depths to which the Stanley Kaplan Post has fallen….

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm

[re=424081]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: It’s obviously William Kristol.

And though she would’ve done it for free, he slipped K-Lo a fiver to keep a facet of Irving Kristol’s awesomeness alive.

FunkyPalmettoBug September 30, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=424096]Extemporanus[/re]: Possible. Kristol doesn’t use alleys anymore though. He prefers Holiday Inns and the GWU athletic center bathroom.

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 10:26 pm

[re=424079]Crank Tango[/re]: You can’t see it because K-Lo’s head is in the way, but Kristol just got spayed and is wearing a Dick Cohen to keep him from licking his own empty ball sack.

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 10:29 pm

[re=424102]Extemporanus[/re]: That should actually be “neutered”, not “spayed”.

On second thought…

tbogg September 30, 2009 at 10:30 pm

So I see that Kathryn Jean Lopez is still interviewing for that post-NRO job. I always figured that she would be better at oral than the written exam.

chascates September 30, 2009 at 10:32 pm

K. Lo’s a fur-vert? No wonder she goes to Mass every day!

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 10:34 pm

[re=424106]chascates[/re]: She doesn’t go to Mass, she is Mass.

bitchincamaro September 30, 2009 at 10:37 pm

C’mon. That’s a Detroit oil change, fer chrissakes.

El Kabong September 30, 2009 at 10:38 pm

She is taking the contest for America’s Next Great Blowhard a little too literally…
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/pundit-contest/index.html

Buzz Feedback September 30, 2009 at 10:39 pm

Head so awesome you’ll have to bite down on a rolled up Post. What is cabeza de queso doing there off to the right?

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2009 at 10:44 pm

Is that Bob Woodward?

Extemporanus September 30, 2009 at 10:46 pm

[re=424112]Buzz Feedback[/re]: And why is he wearing two different zapatos, and holding a third?

tootsieroll September 30, 2009 at 10:46 pm

[re=424074]ManchuCandidate[/re]: <3

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 10:46 pm

[re=424112]Buzz Feedback[/re]: I think the newspaper is for hitting him with after he cums, turns tail, and gives a hot carl to k-lo.

TVarmy September 30, 2009 at 10:47 pm

This calls for a Defund WaPo bill, at the very least.

bitchincamaro September 30, 2009 at 10:48 pm

Oh, I get it. WaPo is finally hosting one of those “salons” they’ve been promising. Two lobbiests, one pup?

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 10:49 pm

Come on guys…who doesn’t like a third person’s hand on their ass while someone polishes their chrome?

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 10:53 pm

[re=424120]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: that must be why old Bill Kristol has that guilty look in his eyes.

Sgt. Lincoln Osiris September 30, 2009 at 11:04 pm

Well, let those of us who HAVEN’T been simultaneously blown by a chola and fisted by an underage boy cast the first stone.

Zadig September 30, 2009 at 11:06 pm

[re=424081]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: It’s definitely Bill Kristol. Jo-Glo already gave us the down-low on this earlier this week, the Kristols are real dog-lovers.

the problem child September 30, 2009 at 11:09 pm

[re=424117]TVarmy[/re]: “This calls for a Defund WaPo bill, at the very least.”
This calls for defunding the WaPo pitbull, at the very least.
/fixed for your <3

choinski September 30, 2009 at 11:18 pm

A “Grey Lady” is 50 bucks extra.

Can O Whoopass September 30, 2009 at 11:28 pm

Well, you must’ve never seen Hannity or Coulter greet Bush at the Ranch.

jasper f. krone September 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm

We gotta find another pawprint, put it in our notebook.

bynrdskynrd September 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm

I guess K.Lo knows how to give good brain–the dog is cross-eyed…

hunter.blatherer September 30, 2009 at 11:40 pm

It could be a wise move. This sort of thing may generate ad revenue.

HipHopOpotamus September 30, 2009 at 11:41 pm

So they sprinkled moondust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue,

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 11:47 pm

[re=424171]bynrdskynrd[/re]: I was gonna say…K.Lo knows Great American Pundits don’t grow on trees. That WaPo furry ain’t gonna suck itself.

President Beeblebrox September 30, 2009 at 11:47 pm

Alleyway blowjobs are not unknown in DC, especially if they involve teh crack.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 11:48 pm

[re=424180]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I heard he turned a bitch out in Denver…

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 11:49 pm

Kinky….K-Lo lets Johan watch.

jasper f. krone October 1, 2009 at 12:00 am

[re=424180]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I assumed that “Alleyway blowhobs are not unknown in DC” was somebody’s username. I was instantly jealous.

Helio October 1, 2009 at 12:03 am

If he’s holding the op-ed page, he probably cums really angry neo-conservative comments? I hope she gets outta the way first, cause those bitches sting.

magic titty October 1, 2009 at 12:05 am

[re=424113]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Seems more like W. Mark Felt to me.

shortsshortsshorts October 1, 2009 at 12:10 am

[re=424206]magic titty[/re]: And that is why you are a magical titty.

SparkleKitty October 1, 2009 at 1:05 am

It is just so uncouth, here in the south, to see her acktually go down. Gawd, that is something all married women do in private…to their husbands best friends.

Joshua Norton October 1, 2009 at 1:07 am

Did Riley lose another bet?

Joshua Norton October 1, 2009 at 1:15 am

No, no, no. The vet said to give him Head & SHOULDERS for his dandruff.

I guess she couldn’t figure out how to give Shoulders.

Lascauxcaveman October 1, 2009 at 1:28 am

OK, sad to say, Monica Lewinsky has really let herself go. I mean, she was actually kinda cute when she was performing this service for the POTUS.

RoscoePColtraine October 1, 2009 at 1:38 am

Pulitzer? Damn near choked her!

NYNYNY October 1, 2009 at 2:13 am

[re=424244]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: A pulitzer, a peabody and a quick polk is all the recognition I need.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 October 1, 2009 at 2:52 am

OK, does this picture mean we can finally put to rest all the Sonia-Sotomayor-hates-America theories?

zhubajie October 1, 2009 at 4:44 am

So is Ma giving her son some sex education? I wish my parents had been so liberal!

teebob2000 October 1, 2009 at 7:42 am

Today, we are all furries getting blown.

Dreckster October 1, 2009 at 8:00 am

The look on Furry’s face as she uses ‘too much teeth’: priceless.
Poor thing looks downright concerned.

mardam422 October 1, 2009 at 8:17 am

[re=424085]obfuscator[/re]: Nice.

Godot October 1, 2009 at 10:24 am

Just to be clear, this is a photograph of an ACTUAL BLOWJOB, correct? Not just some “haw haw it looks like she’s suckin his pecker” joke, right?

norbizness October 1, 2009 at 10:29 am

I thought that the WaPo’s mascot was Fred Hiatt in a gimp costume.

thefrontpage October 1, 2009 at 10:39 am

Is THIS what the term “furry” means?

Ashley Todd's Other Cheek October 1, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=424373]Godot[/re]: I was on the scene and I can verify it is as it appears. It went down pretty similar to this: http://keithiskneedeepinmud.blogspot.com/2007/10/crack-is-whack.html

Min October 1, 2009 at 11:22 am

What I want to know is why the kid is holding that shoe, and where, exactly, he has put the other shoe.

chaste everywhere October 1, 2009 at 11:46 am

“Official furries paying for back-alley blowjobs while on duty: this is what the Washington Post calls “journalism” now.”

What did the Washington Post call “journalism” before now? (And how do you know Mr Furry had to pay?)

NYNYNY October 1, 2009 at 6:03 pm

The Post employees have such a great health plan, medical and dental.

lawrenceofthedesert October 1, 2009 at 6:12 pm

My goodness, that whippersnapper is quite a player for his age! Hustling furries and already awash in glam — wearing two kinds of sneaker and holding a third! How hip-hop can one sixth grader be? (And his girls aren’t going hungry, fer sure!)

Little Old Lady October 1, 2009 at 8:20 pm

If y’all keep making me laff this hard, I am not going to be able to “hold my water” if you catch my meaning.
Oh, well, Wonkette got me through the Bush administration, so I’ll go to adult diapers if I have to.

Tundra Grifter October 1, 2009 at 9:33 pm

[re=424180]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Today we are all androgynous diaper-wearing crack whores having the butt secks in an alley.

Pizzuti October 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm

It’s clear that we finally have an identity for DEEP THROAT; Mark Felt can move over, because the woman on her knees in front of the WaPo furry is the one.

lesleyjf April 1, 2010 at 3:19 am

The crossed eyes kind of tell what’s really going on here.

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