pulitzer much?

Washington Post Furry Gets Blown In Back Alley

Sep 30 9:53 pm 2009

Wonkette’s Newspaper Furry operative “Dan” sends this disturbing, secret sex picture and writes: “Attached for your pleasure is a digital photograph my girlfriend captured from my balcony. It was taken at this past weekend’s ‘Fiesta DC’ Latino block-party in Mount Pleasant. The dog-thing is apparently the Washington Post’s mascot (they have one??) who was getting dressed in a parking spot behind my building.” Official furries paying for back-alley blowjobs while on duty: this is what the Washington Post calls “journalism” now.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • joe twelve pack

    what a dream!

  • glamourdammerung

    Still better than “Mouthpiece Theatre”.

  • btwbfdimho

    While the young guy plays with the dog’s tail. Take that one, you Moonies at the The Washington Times!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sometimes I feel I’ve got to
    Run away I’ve got to
    Get away
    From the fur that you drive into the face of me
    The love we share
    Seems to go nowhere
    And I’ve lost my light
    For I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night

    (chorus)
    Once I read you (I read)
    Now I’ll blow on you
    This furry love I’ve given
    I give you all a subscriber could give you
    I’ll buy your paper and that’s not nearly all
    Oh…furry love
    Furry love

  • CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us

    Haha– Wapo furry getting head from lady lolrus and a reach-around from her baby. O wait. Those are people. My bad

  • Crank Tango

    Dickie Cohen? Or George Will?

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=424079]Crank Tango[/re]: Cohen wears a female fox costume, Will is a psychedelic walrus..so that has to be Gerson or Kristol.

  • sezme

    Bad dog!

  • obfuscator

    GIVIN’ THE DOG A BONE!!!

  • Extemporanus

    By the looks of her, I think it’s safe to assume that swallows.

  • SparkleKitty

    OMG…those Latino-istas are all about sex. Or something. Thank GWB I’m not a G-child of dead Latinos. They’d be so offended.

  • SparkleKitty

    Oh, actually I am a g-child of dead latinos! They are offended!!! But they’d probably laugh, after they got over their offense.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    That bitch is gonna give him fleas.

  • shadowMark

    Girls go down for dogs in hats.

  • Oldskool

    Disturbing on many levels. Wonder what happens when the kid pumps the tail up and down.

  • DangerousLiberal

    If only Katherine Graham were around to see the depths to which the Stanley Kaplan Post has fallen….

  • Extemporanus

    [re=424081]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: It’s obviously William Kristol.

    And though she would’ve done it for free, he slipped K-Lo a fiver to keep a facet of Irving Kristol’s awesomeness alive.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=424096]Extemporanus[/re]: Possible. Kristol doesn’t use alleys anymore though. He prefers Holiday Inns and the GWU athletic center bathroom.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=424079]Crank Tango[/re]: You can’t see it because K-Lo’s head is in the way, but Kristol just got spayed and is wearing a Dick Cohen to keep him from licking his own empty ball sack.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=424102]Extemporanus[/re]: That should actually be “neutered”, not “spayed”.

    On second thought…

  • tbogg

    So I see that Kathryn Jean Lopez is still interviewing for that post-NRO job. I always figured that she would be better at oral than the written exam.

  • chascates

    K. Lo’s a fur-vert? No wonder she goes to Mass every day!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=424106]chascates[/re]: She doesn’t go to Mass, she is Mass.

  • bitchincamaro

    C’mon. That’s a Detroit oil change, fer chrissakes.

  • El Kabong

    She is taking the contest for America’s Next Great Blowhard a little too literally…
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions/pundit-contest/index.html

  • Buzz Feedback

    Head so awesome you’ll have to bite down on a rolled up Post. What is cabeza de queso doing there off to the right?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Is that Bob Woodward?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=424112]Buzz Feedback[/re]: And why is he wearing two different zapatos, and holding a third?

  • tootsieroll

    [re=424074]ManchuCandidate[/re]: <3

  • Crank Tango

    [re=424112]Buzz Feedback[/re]: I think the newspaper is for hitting him with after he cums, turns tail, and gives a hot carl to k-lo.

  • TVarmy

    This calls for a Defund WaPo bill, at the very least.

  • bitchincamaro

    Oh, I get it. WaPo is finally hosting one of those “salons” they’ve been promising. Two lobbiests, one pup?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Come on guys…who doesn’t like a third person’s hand on their ass while someone polishes their chrome?

  • Crank Tango

    [re=424120]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: that must be why old Bill Kristol has that guilty look in his eyes.

  • Sgt. Lincoln Osiris

    Well, let those of us who HAVEN’T been simultaneously blown by a chola and fisted by an underage boy cast the first stone.

  • Zadig

    [re=424081]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: It’s definitely Bill Kristol. Jo-Glo already gave us the down-low on this earlier this week, the Kristols are real dog-lovers.

  • the problem child

    [re=424117]TVarmy[/re]: “This calls for a Defund WaPo bill, at the very least.”
    This calls for defunding the WaPo pitbull, at the very least.
    /fixed for your <3

  • choinski

    A “Grey Lady” is 50 bucks extra.

  • Can O Whoopass

    Well, you must’ve never seen Hannity or Coulter greet Bush at the Ranch.

  • jasper f. krone

    We gotta find another pawprint, put it in our notebook.

  • bynrdskynrd

    I guess K.Lo knows how to give good brain–the dog is cross-eyed…

  • hunter.blatherer

    It could be a wise move. This sort of thing may generate ad revenue.

  • HipHopOpotamus

    So they sprinkled moondust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue,

  • El Pinche

    [re=424171]bynrdskynrd[/re]: I was gonna say…K.Lo knows Great American Pundits don’t grow on trees. That WaPo furry ain’t gonna suck itself.

  • President Beeblebrox

    Alleyway blowjobs are not unknown in DC, especially if they involve teh crack.

  • Crank Tango

    [re=424180]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I heard he turned a bitch out in Denver…

  • El Pinche

    Kinky….K-Lo lets Johan watch.

  • jasper f. krone

    [re=424180]President Beeblebrox[/re]: I assumed that “Alleyway blowhobs are not unknown in DC” was somebody’s username. I was instantly jealous.

  • Helio

    If he’s holding the op-ed page, he probably cums really angry neo-conservative comments? I hope she gets outta the way first, cause those bitches sting.

  • magic titty

    [re=424113]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Seems more like W. Mark Felt to me.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=424206]magic titty[/re]: And that is why you are a magical titty.

  • SparkleKitty

    It is just so uncouth, here in the south, to see her acktually go down. Gawd, that is something all married women do in private…to their husbands best friends.

  • Joshua Norton

    Did Riley lose another bet?

  • Joshua Norton

    No, no, no. The vet said to give him Head & SHOULDERS for his dandruff.

    I guess she couldn’t figure out how to give Shoulders.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    OK, sad to say, Monica Lewinsky has really let herself go. I mean, she was actually kinda cute when she was performing this service for the POTUS.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Pulitzer? Damn near choked her!

  • NYNYNY

    [re=424244]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: A pulitzer, a peabody and a quick polk is all the recognition I need.

  • PeteJayhawk v2.0

    OK, does this picture mean we can finally put to rest all the Sonia-Sotomayor-hates-America theories?

  • zhubajie

    So is Ma giving her son some sex education? I wish my parents had been so liberal!

  • teebob2000

    Today, we are all furries getting blown.

  • Dreckster

    The look on Furry’s face as she uses ‘too much teeth': priceless.
    Poor thing looks downright concerned.

  • mardam422

    [re=424085]obfuscator[/re]: Nice.

  • Godot

    Just to be clear, this is a photograph of an ACTUAL BLOWJOB, correct? Not just some “haw haw it looks like she’s suckin his pecker” joke, right?

  • norbizness

    I thought that the WaPo’s mascot was Fred Hiatt in a gimp costume.

  • thefrontpage

    Is THIS what the term “furry” means?

  • Ashley Todd’s Other Cheek

    [re=424373]Godot[/re]: I was on the scene and I can verify it is as it appears. It went down pretty similar to this: http://keithiskneedeepinmud.blogspot.com/2007/10/crack-is-whack.html

  • Min

    What I want to know is why the kid is holding that shoe, and where, exactly, he has put the other shoe.

  • chaste everywhere

    “Official furries paying for back-alley blowjobs while on duty: this is what the Washington Post calls “journalism” now.”

    What did the Washington Post call “journalism” before now? (And how do you know Mr Furry had to pay?)

  • NYNYNY

    The Post employees have such a great health plan, medical and dental.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    My goodness, that whippersnapper is quite a player for his age! Hustling furries and already awash in glam — wearing two kinds of sneaker and holding a third! How hip-hop can one sixth grader be? (And his girls aren’t going hungry, fer sure!)

  • Little Old Lady

    If y’all keep making me laff this hard, I am not going to be able to “hold my water” if you catch my meaning.
    Oh, well, Wonkette got me through the Bush administration, so I’ll go to adult diapers if I have to.

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=424180]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Today we are all androgynous diaper-wearing crack whores having the butt secks in an alley.

  • Pizzuti

    It’s clear that we finally have an identity for DEEP THROAT; Mark Felt can move over, because the woman on her knees in front of the WaPo furry is the one.

  • lesleyjf

    The crossed eyes kind of tell what’s really going on here.