Skoalrebel: “finally a new vid dippin good ole grizz bear green”

[re=423444]badmuthagoose[/re]: Oh you give him way too much credit. Ask yourself why the lawnchair in the kitchen ( I happen to be a world renouned expert on folding lawnchairs : this is not a plug, it is a citation : http://www.vaillawnchairteam.com/carnes/index.html and no we are not gay, sorry to dissapoint ). I’m sorry what was the question? Oh, he did not decide to use that particular chair as the result of some chain of thought related to decor, he repurposed that chair from a neighbours porch. See, it’s the neighbour’s fault that it was so easy to steal, they should either chain it or get a gaurd dog.

[re=423437]Scarab[/re]: I’m not sure, but I think it’s against the law to be that fat in Palo Alto.

Did I just say “cans of Pam?” Jesus, Skoalrebel couldn’t even get that tiny little mouth of his around one of her nizzles – uh, nozzles.

SkoalRebel, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Skoal-reb-bal; the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps through the middle of the mouth to flirt with the lips. Skoal. Reb. Bal.

He was Skoal, plain Skoal in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. He was Rebel in slacks. He was SR at school. He was skoalrebel on YouTube. But in my arms he was always SkoalRebel.

[Yes those are the first two paragraphs of Sarah Palin’s book and it’s gonna rock.]

Joe the Plumper here can talk circles around Palin. SkoalRebel/BabyTrig ’12

Two hundred plus subscribers.

Guess who’s going to be on the cover of the next issue of “Celebrating Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.”

[re=423477]EdFlinstone[/re]: Like when a kid tries whiskey for the first time, they’re all goddamn that shits good! while their face says the agony isn’t quite worth the nasty taste. Anything to fit in, kids, anything to be part of the club.

[re=423469]Click[/re]: He had me when under high school graduation he put N/A. On his myspace page, that is.

[re=423467]Crank Tango[/re]: I’d say he’s along the Eliza Doolittle path…

[re=423490]Click[/re]: that’s what the paper bag is for. Or should I say paper bags, cuz she is gonna need one for his head, and one for hers in case his falls off. and one for the huffing. so three.

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: That’s fuckin’ gay.

At last we have the mighty Chewbacky!

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: You are my new favorite film critic.

[re=423427]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: He’s got one. Says, “Monday,” “Tuesday,”, “Wednesday,”…

[re=423440]NopantsMcGee[/re]: Ma’am, please don’t mention your overgrown labia again. Thank you.

[re=423553]teebob2000[/re]: I actually guffawed at that one. Now I need to take a shower.

[re=423490]Click[/re]: oh, I was naturally presuming you meant the cooking spray. He won’t use the soft margarine, because that’s what his pappy uses to lube skoalrebel’s taterhole… right after mawmaw starts a’snorin’.

From what I can tell, he’s toasting that Skoal laying on the counter in that toaster oven, but he’s using that oven mitt to get it out, so he’s being safe.

And I keep hearing squeaks whenever he leans over. He either needs to oil his chair, or his belt.

Skoalrebel is so on FoxNews next week.

Cavuto: “Why do you think liberals, cat lovers, and liberal jew media hate you and America?”

skoalrebel: “argggrhhgg crfffgg rgghgg Cuz theyre gay *dip*.”

I’ve been troubled with the feeling that there’s just something missing in this whole setup ever since his appearance last week. The lawn chair is perfect as is the plastic bag hung on the corner. I didn’t know the toaster oven was needed but now there we are! Still something is missing.

Faygo. The boy needs more Faygo. Then the picture will be complete.

[re=423563]snoidoid[/re]: I think the squeaks are his actual spitting. He has the mike turned up pretty high on his junk; you can hear every single pant, spit, and sucking sound.

It needs smell, too. Smell-O-Vision. Then it would be perfection.

You can all thank Best Buy for this. Because if it weren’t for the Geek Squad coming out to his trailer to set up his computer, Skoalrebel would have gone home with an Xbox 360 that fateful day. (which would have been pawned long ago for meth money)

Others have greatness thrust upon them.

How can someone who’s proably half my age look twice my age?

Probably has something to do with meth, doesn’t it?

In response to NopantsMcGee: No, “dippin’ ‘ is NOT chewing tobacco. Dipping and chewing are different activities.

In chewing, one uses chewing tobacco — which is tobacco that’s been cured then cut into tiny strips — imagine spaghetti cut into strips about 1 inch long. You take a wad of this stuff, sitck it your mouth, roll it around with your tongue so it’s in a tight ball, then — using your tongue — shove it into your cheek. Occassionally you gently chew that wad. The tobacco causes your salivary glands to generate saliva which you then spit out — the saliva is mixed with the juice that comes from the tobacco when it’s chewed. If you’re outside, spit on the ground. If you’re driving, spit out the car window — which can have disastrous results for people in the back seat if you’re moving faster than about 15 MPH and the rear windows are open. If you’re in your pickup, make certain your dogs are in the cab with you and not riding in the back of the truck — that way, you don’t spit on them.

Dipping is done with snuff. Snuff is tobacco that has been cured and dried then ground into very fine powder. You take a big pinch of snuff and insert it behind your lower lip, in the front of your mouth, in the space between yuor front teeth and gum, and, lower lip. Let it sit there — no chewing. The snuff will cause saliva to flow which you must spit out now and then. Spitting while dipping follows the same rules as spitting while chewing.

If you are dipping or chewing inside, or, while settin’ on the porch and you can’t spit onto the ground, you use a “spit cup.” Any container will do — an McDonald’s soda cup, empty beer can, anything — just spit into it. Be careful — if a bunch of good ol’ boys are settin’ around dippin’, chewin’, spittin’, and drinking beer, it’s not unheard of for someone to — mistakenly, of course — use someone else’s beer for a spit can . . . this has lead to shootings.

[re=423553]teebob2000[/re]: I’ll have you know my labia, while enormous, can be used as a floatation device, and I’ve had FEMA officials inquire about borrowing it’s design for emergency shelter.

Smartass.

[re=423451]Julius Drinkwater[/re]: “Thank god he’s yet to contract the tongue cancer”

Won’t be long, I’m sure.

[re=423602]Old Redneck[/re]: There’s a scene in “Dirty Harry” when Harry tapes an open switchblade knife to his ankle and his boss says something like “It’s a shame a policeman knows how to use a weapon like that” it’s a shame that everyone here now knows the difference between chew and dip.

[re=423589]mardam422[/re]: …And some have greatness thrust into them. Usually not the same thrustee, though.

[re=423607]NopantsMcGee[/re]: You HEAR THAT teebob2000? NopantsMcGee’s labia can SAVE LIVES. What has YOUR labia done for mankind recently? Oh, you don’t have a labia? Well then, I guess we COULD talk about your (most likely selfish) penis, if, that is, people would rather hear about IT than a giant labia that can SAVE LIVES.

[re=423625]TBFKAKevoTron[/re]: See? Bisexuals (or as I prefer, ambisexuals) not only get no respect, most people don’t even know they exist.

[re=423625]Formerly Known as KevoTron[/re]: Hey! You’re right! And is there a connection between everything being “gay” and “queer” and the fact that “cuz” has no shirt on?

Also, he has a toaster oven sitting next to a hot plate, which is on top of the stove. I’m thinking he has not mastered the skill of cooking on any one of those, hence the fire extinguisher on the counter.

Too, is that a window buried halfway behind the stove?

That his vote is equal to mine makes me hate Washington, Jefferson and Adams even more than for giving him the right to bear as many arms as he’d like.

[re=423633]jetjaguar[/re]: Swedish labia saved my life once.

[re=423633]jetjaguar[/re]: *head hung in abject shame*

Couldn’t take any more than 49 seconds — too gross.

[re=423664]steve[/re]: Chew gets you wired?? Then someone’s been filling up Skoalrebel’s grizz cans with pencil shavings.

In all seriousness, what is he saying at the end about a rifle and Obama?

skoal rebel owns

[re=423777]Aloysius[/re]: He says, “all a’you fuckin harass me about Obama.”

He really has no idea why people would be giving him shit. Y’know, it’s kind of touching, in a Simple Jack kind of way.

Are we participating in a scene from Infinite Jest where we sit around watching a doofus chew dip will he calls us fuckers? Will future anthropologists and historians be the slightest bit confused why this is entertainment in 2009? Even poor benighted Skoal Rebel doesn’t seem to have an answer for that.

[re=423481]Pithaughn[/re]: You are my hero. I would like my copy of the nude calendar signed please.

Sarah Palin is such a poser. ‘Skoalrebel’ is a true rogue.

Who helped him hook up his computer? There has to be someone behind his curtain.

[re=423481]Pithaughn[/re]: Y’all some hairyass muthafuckas

Glenn Beck on Xanax.

[re=423569]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: I think last time he was wasted, like on whiskey.
Am I misinterpreting this video or did he keep stopping to suck his own dick. Because it looked that way to me.

Damn again, guess I should have watched more of his videos. He’s taking Seroquel, apparently, which he calls his antidepressant and the rest of the world calls an anti-psychotic. Boy’s got real issues beyond sheer stupidity.

[re=423418]Sick Puppy[/re]: Nothing. I laughed till I practically shit my pants, but truthfully, the whole thing is depressing. Bored guy goes nowhere [for generations]. Isn’t that on KY’s license plate or something?

Oh, Skoalrebel, the emotions you evoke.

When evil conservatives die, they’re sent directly to skoalrebel’s Mouth for an Eternity.

[re=423602]Old Redneck[/re]: Don’t forget: put wadded up napkins (Sonic or Dairy Queen) in the cup. This soaks up the spit, preventing messes, even if it falls off the dash into the floorboard.

“I try to entertain people.” You have succeeded. Maybe, not in the way you wanted, but you should have phrased your question better when you used your first wish. Beware the Monkey Paw.

[re=423933]RabidHamster[/re]: I have two theories as to why Reagan cut funding to mental health programs. 1)He realized that he had Alzheimer’s and in a moment of lucidity decided that he would be in one in an institution if he didn’t act fast. 2) He knew that by closing down mental institutions he would bring in leagues of paranoid schizophrenic voters that could be scared into voting Republican by creating rumors of vast government conspiracies.

[re=423607]NopantsMcGee[/re]: I have a question for the labialy blessed. First let me apologize for the impending grossness…but I have to know.

Ahem…if Skoalreble had a girlfriend and he went “down there”, would that cause a serious yeast infection, the mother of all yeast infections, or a fatal yeast infection.

[re=423946]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Toxic Shock Syndrome.

[re=423444]badmuthagoose[/re]: “if you put yourself OUT THERE, you are OPEN TO CRITICISM.” Hear hear!!

You know, I just had a scary thought. While we’re all sitting here being elitist, he is posting MOVIE TO THE INTERTUBES!!! That means that ANYONE in the world can see him in all his glory and say: “but for the grace of god I too could be an american”

Ouch!

[re=423946]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: His ex appeared to have more of a yeast affection.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we have laws against incest.

He’s skoalrebel and he’ll never ever be any good
He’s skoalrebel and he’ll never ever be understood
And just because he doesn’t do what everybody else does
That’s no reason why I can’t give him all my love

Back in the 60’s there was a common phrase I haven’t heard for years, but this gave me a flashiebackie…”too stoned to function”

[re=424001]blargh[/re]: It’s true, he don’t cuss no more.

[re=423946]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Did you read The Stand? I think it would be like when Randall Flagg finally gives his tube snake boogie to Nadine and her hair goes white and she loses her mind.

[re=423437]Scarab[/re]: i have thought from the very beginning this was a performance. actually less me, more my southern boy who chews (well, used to…).

if it is in fact a performance:

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: yes

[re=424038]rocktonsammy[/re]: He would be the perfect father for Trig!

[re=424038]rocktonsammy[/re]: Whatever happened to the hillbilly Paultard girl from last year, the one with the bloody bandages on her arms? Creatures of the night, what sweet YouPorn music they would make…

Okay Skoal dahling, let’s do another one straight away. Yes, straight away, and this time dear could you pick up your cues a tad. Not too much, but just a bit. The Grizzley business is brilliant, but the cues dearie, the cues.

It just dawned on me…this is the Numa Numa guy for the new generation. Call marketing!

Let’s make a project of this misdirected young layabout. We can be his Professor Higgins, and he can be our Eliza Doolittle!

Has anyone else seen this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6jEBfOrFDw

This is either his girlfriend or his sister (both?) or his ex-girlfriend; who knows. Either way, not exactly what I expected, but somehow it makes perfect sense.

So what do you think gals – is this guy down to fuck, or what?

That ain’t no purdy mouth, that’s just a hole in his tumor.

Tomorrow, or the next day, skoalrebel will come out with another video complaining and telling us to fuck off all y’all and gay this and gay that and stuffing candy ass dip into his breathing hole and making the cow-chewing-it’s-cud face and bending over every 10 seconds to do god only knows what, not realizing for a second that he’s feeding the animals wonketeers again.

ROFL, SkoalRebel just outsnarked the Home Of Snark.

Did somebody get told?

No.

Tell Them!

I’m up to 223 subscribers… I don’t know why y’all motherfuckers fuckin’ subscribe to me when all y’all gonna do is fuckin’ talk shit about me.

Oh, SNAP!

Oh no, I’ve been blocked by skoal rebel on the yootoobes!!! And all I did was defend him against accusations that he is a gay. (I said we would never stoop so low by accepting him, in my capacity of representative of all gays – except Andrew Sullivan).

Maybe there is something to the skoalrebel/Sully national park rumors.

[re=424121]misterzero42[/re]: I’ve seen it. She’s waaay too good for him, honestly.

[re=424125]Click[/re]: He’ll have to hollow out the Grizz can and put it on the end of a Fleshlight.

Y’all just go ahead and laugh. Go ahead, laugh.

But I’m pretty sure this is how Tom Arnold and Bruce Willis both got their start.

WOOW THIS IS AMAZING! I FIND THIS NEW SITE CALLED WONKETTE WHERE ADULTS HURL CHILDISH INSULTS AT DUDES THAT MAKE WEIRD VIDEOS!!! IT IS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL!!! WAY TO TOTALLY JUSTIFY ANY VIEWS HE HOLDS ON LIBERAL ELITISM!!! OH AND THE BEST PART IS NONE OF YOU ARE EVEN FUNNY????????????????? GROW THE FUCK UPpppppppppppppppppppp

[re=424299]REBEL RANDLE[/re]: All in caps?

Thank you for confirming our Elitist French Gay jokes about Skoalretard and his buttboy cousin.

[re=424122]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: In fact, it is so sedating that it is considered a “chemical restraint”, similar to the way a straight jacket is classified as a physical restraint.

[re=424299]REBEL RANDLE[/re]: How DARE you come in here and start throwing around your lower case ‘p’s.

[re=424506]iolanthe[/re]: damn! I should have gone with “leather straps”, I knew I was heading into risky terrority there. sorry. *hangs head*

I’d hit that.