WEDNESDAY FUN VIDEO  2:02 pm September 30, 2009

Skoalrebel: “finally a new vid dippin good ole grizz bear green”

by Jim Newell

“I’m up to 223 subscribers… I don’t know why y’all motherfuckers fuckin’ subscribe to me when all y’all gonna do is fuckin’ talk shit about me.” [YouTube]

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 218 comments }

shortsshortsshorts September 30, 2009 at 2:03 pm

Yup.

Come here a minute September 30, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Toaster oven next to sink — DON’T DO IT MAN!

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:06 pm

The bulbousness of his nose was underplayed in the previous episode.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:07 pm

For the first 30 seconds I thought he was about to break up with me.

Julius Drinkwater September 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

How’d he get so scabby?

Atheist Nun September 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

I like to go to the zoo and poke big dumb animals with a pointy stick watch ‘Skoalrebel’ on the YouTubes.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:10 pm

GAH! Check out that backbent thumb!!

KilgoreTrout_XL September 30, 2009 at 2:11 pm

I like him a whole shitload more than Joe the Pluumber and that trampy smurf from hot’laska.

Sick Puppy September 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm

He makes my heart break. What’s wrong with me???

Jim Demintia September 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm

This guy is begging, *begging* for his own reality TV series. But would the introduction of the concept of editing ruin his on-screen charisma?

hobospacejunkie September 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm

skoalrebel : You ever heard of Porntube? It’s the next step in your personal film evolution.

Tommmcatt September 30, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I wonder what delicate thing is in his soul that causes him to want to entertain? What muse inspires him?

Buzz Feedback September 30, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I enjoy the hint of an Eddie Munster widow’s peak he’s got going there. Alluring.

jodyleek September 30, 2009 at 2:13 pm

[re=423411]Julius Drinkwater[/re]: Go to facesofmeth.us. That’s how.

coastingdownhill September 30, 2009 at 2:14 pm

He’s kind of attractive in that Southern je ne sais quoi sort of way. Not quite a Beverly Hills pool boy, but intellect isn’t everything.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Um, that’s precisely why people are gonna subscribe to you. And is it just me, or is this dude letting himself go a bit?

Monsieur Grumpe September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Mouth Cancer Poster Boy needs to get one of those word of the day calendars.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

He seemed more lucid. Must be that code weather he was complaining about.

norbizness September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

Your plan to have us all commit mass suicide is proceeding nicely.

Tommmcatt September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=423421]hobospacejunkie[/re]:

Oh dear god no.

Mac W Cheese September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

I tried to set him up with my Republican friend. Even she wasn’t interested. Oh yeah, she is a woman.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=423417]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: My thoughts exactly. Somewhere deep down inside I actually find myself pulling for this guy.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:17 pm

[re=423424]jodyleek[/re]: I hear his record (as in album) is less blemished.

american mutt September 30, 2009 at 2:18 pm

I now feel nothing by sympathy for him. He’s still retarded but it makes baby jesus sad.

Scarab September 30, 2009 at 2:18 pm

I predict that next week we’ll find out that the Skoalrebel is actually a graduate student at Stanford producing these videos using a NEA Foundation Grant.

It’s satrical performance art and we’ve all been Punk’d.. either that or the he’s real and the GOP will draft him to run for congress. One or the other.

nappyduggs September 30, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Interim Commander-in-Chief? Anyone?

BadKitty September 30, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Eeeek! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?

NopantsMcGee September 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm

See, this is why I read Wonkette comments. I learn vaulable things here. Like there is a site called ‘Porntube’ and that ‘dippin’ means ‘chewin’ tabaccy.

Please don’t hate me because I’m elitist. Or because I have enormous genitals, also, too.

Hedley Lamar September 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm

I was particularly moved by the scene wherein he stuffs his pie-hole with the brown goo. Bravo!

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm

[re=423422]Tommmcatt[/re]: Skoalman Polanski.

samsuncle September 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm

The hipsters in the dipping crowd call Grizzley Wintergreen the “welfare bear” because it is the cheapest dip and is what they buy at the end of the month when their unemployment runs out.

badmuthagoose September 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm

I had to do this before I could finish watching:

I’m from the south, still live there, and I need subtitles for this bitch.

The faces one makes when getting that chaw just right in your mouth are so sexy I can’t stand it.

His flat affect makes me think:

actually mentally disabled
on meth
both.

Unemployed? That is SHOCKING.

And now, finally, one thing I wish every single retarded person out there would understand, from that stupid couple with eight kids to this guy: if you put yourself OUT THERE, you are OPEN TO CRITICISM.

It’s a simple concept, really.

Now I’m going back to watching this so I can pick up some home decor tips. I had never thought of using a lawn chair in my kitchen!

AngryBlakGuy September 30, 2009 at 2:21 pm

…is this the “silent majority” that Rethuglicans are always talking about?!

thefrontpage September 30, 2009 at 2:21 pm

It’s great to see Rush Limbaugh without the make-up.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello September 30, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Skoalrebel is about 2 vlogs away from becoming the 2012 RNC keynote speaker.

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=423432]Click[/re]: < Somewhere deep down inside I actually find myself pulling for this guy.

You should have that part of yourself cut out as quickly as possible.

Julius Drinkwater September 30, 2009 at 2:23 pm

I’m not sure if I’m more distracted by the scabby scabberson meth face, or the audible squirting sounds every time he leans over. Either way, it’s the full spectrum of yuck. Thank god he’s yet to contract the tongue cancer, or the world would be deprived.

StoneAge September 30, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Am I the only one mystified by his ability to record a video, transfer it onto a computer, and upload it onto the internet?

american mutt September 30, 2009 at 2:23 pm

[re=423444]badmuthagoose[/re]: I once brought lawn chairs to high school and refused to sit in anything else all day.

american mutt September 30, 2009 at 2:24 pm

[re=423452]StoneAge[/re]: You’re not the only one. Although he probably recorded the video directly on to the computer and thus there was no transferring.

Que miras, cabron! September 30, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Yet another reason for cutting off funding to N.E.A. First Coulter, then Malkin, now this goober doing performance art?

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 2:25 pm

[re=423427]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: There are 365 synonyms for ‘fuck’?

NopantsMcGee September 30, 2009 at 2:25 pm

When he kinda bends over like that and leaves the camera frame for a few seconds I keep thinking he’s gonna start singing “Chocolate Rain”.

Julius Drinkwater September 30, 2009 at 2:25 pm

Can we deport this guy and keep the beaners? I’m going to write up a position paper immediately and send it to Barry.

Raph September 30, 2009 at 2:26 pm

do u think he just does the video and uploads it or checks them over and is like perfect?

shadowMark September 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

I don’t know why y’all motherfuckers fuckin’ subscribe to me when all y’all gonna do is fuckin’ talk shit about me”

Modern romance.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

maybe we can chip in and buy him some dip. and teach him how to speak english, perhaps by teaching him french first. he could be our own holly golightly.

obfuscator September 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

the bits where his head is out of frame and you can hear him spitting into what i can only assume is a three week old half full large cup of mcdonald’s sweet tea… that’s what made my soul cry.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=423436]american mutt[/re]: In all honesty, I find his utter lack of pretense to be completely disarming. When I saw the photo of him holding his cat I knew I could never bring myself to hate him the way I do Glenn Beck.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 2:28 pm

In the mind of a simpleton, it is inconceivable why a person would subscribe to a video they don’t like.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:28 pm

[re=423450]user-of-owls[/re]: If I had a pecker I would have totally grossed myself out with my comment.

rachelv September 30, 2009 at 2:29 pm

I actually dreamed that I changed my user name to “Kohlsrebel” in his honor …

Monsieur Grumpe September 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm

I played in a band with a guy who “chewed”. The idiot was constantly knocking over his spittoon or mudbucket as Cletus likes to say. Disgusting black spit everywhere. I can imagine what this guy’s orange shag carpet looks like.

EdFlinstone September 30, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Man this just makes me want to go out try me some of the chewin tabacky, cause when he puts it in this mouth, you can just see the enjoyment on his face. The plastic bag tied to the drawer handle is a nice touch to the home decor. I double dare any wonkette female that is willing to tongue kiss slingblade a minute or so after that wad of dip has been in his mouth. Seriously.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm

This can’t be meth, people. He’s either got a lifetime prescription for Oxycontin or he’s huffing cans of Pam.

Pithaughn September 30, 2009 at 2:31 pm

[re=423444]badmuthagoose[/re]: Oh you give him way too much credit. Ask yourself why the lawnchair in the kitchen ( I happen to be a world renouned expert on folding lawnchairs : this is not a plug, it is a citation : http://www.vaillawnchairteam.com/carnes/index.html and no we are not gay, sorry to dissapoint ). I’m sorry what was the question? Oh, he did not decide to use that particular chair as the result of some chain of thought related to decor, he repurposed that chair from a neighbours porch. See, it’s the neighbour’s fault that it was so easy to steal, they should either chain it or get a gaurd dog.

badmuthagoose September 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Oh and y’all muthafuckers better enjoy his fucking ass while y’all can because my prediction is this: in the next week or so, a couple of his buddies are gonna stop by his uninsulated cracker box trailer to see if he has anything they can steal to pawn for a meth hit, but he’ll be home, of course, because the truck was repoed last week muthafuckers.

So the old middle school buddies of his will act like they just wanted to say HEY and hang out, and man, shit, I love that wintergreen shit muthafucker, gimme somma that. So they’ll chill in that drafty firetrap for a while, then crank up some Limp Bizkit from when they were in ninth grade and things’ll get a bit heated and Crackity Moonface Jones there will think about all the muthafuckers givin him shit on the youtubes and under the influence of too much wintergreen and the last wee bit of meth in a foil packet, he’ll kick the SHEYIT outta the 15″ Acer monitor he got on layaway at Wal-Mart and that’ll be the end of that.

Muthafuckers.

problemwithcaring September 30, 2009 at 2:33 pm

[re=423437]Scarab[/re]: I’m not sure, but I think it’s against the law to be that fat in Palo Alto.

CrunchyKnee September 30, 2009 at 2:33 pm

“You all mother fuckers can kiss my god damned ass, seriously.”

SkoalRebel is the Woody Guthrie of his generation, also too.

Click September 30, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Did I just say “cans of Pam?” Jesus, Skoalrebel couldn’t even get that tiny little mouth of his around one of her nizzles – uh, nozzles.

Accordion-o-rama September 30, 2009 at 2:35 pm

I suppose after Palin and JTP, this guy was the obvious next step.

My favorite U-tube comment from his previous video (paraphrased): “Impeached” is spelled with an M. “Inbred” is spelled with an N.

shadowMark September 30, 2009 at 2:35 pm

SkoalRebel, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Skoal-reb-bal; the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps through the middle of the mouth to flirt with the lips. Skoal. Reb. Bal.

He was Skoal, plain Skoal in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. He was Rebel in slacks. He was SR at school. He was skoalrebel on YouTube. But in my arms he was always SkoalRebel.

[Yes those are the first two paragraphs of Sarah Palin's book and it's gonna rock.]

obfuscator September 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm

the audible mouthbreathing sounds are also wonderfully horrible.

AbstinenceOnly Ed September 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Joe the Plumper here can talk circles around Palin. SkoalRebel/BabyTrig ’12

vdoll September 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=423477]EdFlinstone[/re]: I just threw up in my mouth a little. Not really. I just threw up in my mouth a lot. Seriously.

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Two hundred plus subscribers.

Guess who’s going to be on the cover of the next issue of “Celebrating Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.”

Chain Tattoo September 30, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Taken as a whole, the oeurve of skoalrebel is a seminal contribution to the metadiscourse of American film. Radically interrogating traditional notions of content, form, plot, character, and narrative, skoalrebel inverts the late bourgeois cinematic aesthetic. By remaining perpetually out of focus, he invites us to focus on ourselves. In his framing he constantly leaves part of his scabby head out of the shot –challenging the viewer to look beyond the borders of the screen and glimpse a fully-lived life outside the trailer. The snuff, lawn chair, and toaster oven are the only props. But what more evocative scenery has Hollywood ever produced? Dipping, sitting, and spitting in front of the toaster oven, skoalrebel invites us into the trailer park that is the real America. The influence of David Mamet’s screenwriting is clear in skoalrebel’s language. We are clearly in the presence of a master who says, with Mamet, “Fuck y’all if y’all don’t wanna play my game.”

Oscarworthy? Of course. A lifetime achievement award is the least the Academy can do for this brilliant auteur.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=423477]EdFlinstone[/re]: Like when a kid tries whiskey for the first time, they’re all goddamn that shits good! while their face says the agony isn’t quite worth the nasty taste. Anything to fit in, kids, anything to be part of the club.

badmuthagoose September 30, 2009 at 2:39 pm

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: what the fuck you say? Sounded like a buncha fuckin blah blee bloo muthafucker.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:40 pm

[re=423469]Click[/re]: He had me when under high school graduation he put N/A. On his myspace page, that is.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=423507]badmuthagoose[/re]: some kinda fuckin ching chong french talk i bet.

HipHopOpotamus September 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=423467]Crank Tango[/re]: I’d say he’s along the Eliza Doolittle path…

TGY September 30, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=423422]Tommmcatt[/re]: I’m pretty sure it’s Adenoid, the Muse of Banjos.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 2:44 pm

[re=423490]Click[/re]: that’s what the paper bag is for. Or should I say paper bags, cuz she is gonna need one for his head, and one for hers in case his falls off. and one for the huffing. so three.

LazloHollyfeld September 30, 2009 at 2:47 pm

“You motherfuckers out there think you know it all…y’all don’t know shit… fuck you… you can go fuck off.”

Finally, someone with the balls to tell you motherfuckers to fuck off. Especially all you know it alls. Fucking know it alls with your bullshit math and seatbelts. How dare you. I think it says something that he hasn’t wished AIDS on -anybody-. Now there’s a mensch.

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: That’s fuckin’ gay.

ushekim September 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm

He looks like an unshaven Glenn Beck.

Megapteronica September 30, 2009 at 2:51 pm

At last we have the mighty Chewbacky!

Mista Eko September 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm

I like how the Wonkette ad immediately proceeding this video tells me how to whiten my yellow teeth. There is no more brilliant wit than Google Adsense.

Hedley Lamar September 30, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: You are my new favorite film critic.

Chain Tattoo September 30, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=423525]user-of-owls[/re]: And I say, with skoalrebel, “fuck all you motherfuckers who think you know it all.” *dip*

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=423427]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: He’s got one. Says, “Monday,” “Tuesday,”, “Wednesday,”…

Egregious September 30, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Hurray! We’ve discovered a youth vote the GOP can cater to!

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=423440]NopantsMcGee[/re]: Ma’am, please don’t mention your overgrown labia again. Thank you.

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 3:03 pm

This is news!!!1!! ??? !! *dip*
I heard Tom Delay flashed his vagina on his geigh dance show. *cold straight dip*

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=423553]teebob2000[/re]: I actually guffawed at that one. Now I need to take a shower.

Flanders September 30, 2009 at 3:05 pm

[re=423417]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: After an initial impression of nausea and “no freakin’ way”, I too am beginning to pull for this guy. At least he’s keeping it real-io and all that.

Chickensmack September 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=423490]Click[/re]: oh, I was naturally presuming you meant the cooking spray. He won’t use the soft margarine, because that’s what his pappy uses to lube skoalrebel’s taterhole… right after mawmaw starts a’snorin’.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 3:09 pm

[re=423479]Click[/re]: [re=423490]Click[/re]: I appreciate your follow-through on that one!

snoidoid September 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm

From what I can tell, he’s toasting that Skoal laying on the counter in that toaster oven, but he’s using that oven mitt to get it out, so he’s being safe.

And I keep hearing squeaks whenever he leans over. He either needs to oil his chair, or his belt.

user-of-owls September 30, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=423546]Chain Tattoo[/re]: Brilliant! A true Tour de Merde!!

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Skoalrebel is so on FoxNews next week.

Cavuto: “Why do you think liberals, cat lovers, and liberal jew media hate you and America?”

skoalrebel: “argggrhhgg crfffgg rgghgg Cuz theyre gay *dip*.”

Lil' Kim Jong-Il September 30, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Today we are all dippin good ole grizz bear green

Downtheroadapiece September 30, 2009 at 3:13 pm

I’ve been troubled with the feeling that there’s just something missing in this whole setup ever since his appearance last week. The lawn chair is perfect as is the plastic bag hung on the corner. I didn’t know the toaster oven was needed but now there we are! Still something is missing.

Faygo. The boy needs more Faygo. Then the picture will be complete.

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=423417]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Yeah, I’d lower skoalrebel into a woodchipper face first, but I’d lower Joe the Plumber feet first to hear him scream and prolong the suffering.

badmuthagoose September 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

[re=423563]snoidoid[/re]: I think the squeaks are his actual spitting. He has the mike turned up pretty high on his junk; you can hear every single pant, spit, and sucking sound.

It needs smell, too. Smell-O-Vision. Then it would be perfection.

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 3:17 pm

He’s an entertainer! Who DOESN’T want him to keep making these videos???

Love the snot-catch at 1:22; movie magic!

freeatlast September 30, 2009 at 3:18 pm

You can all thank Best Buy for this. Because if it weren’t for the Geek Squad coming out to his trailer to set up his computer, Skoalrebel would have gone home with an Xbox 360 that fateful day. (which would have been pawned long ago for meth money)

slappypaddy September 30, 2009 at 3:19 pm

the opacity is remarkable. it is transparent as pure air, yet still thick as a brick.

mardam422 September 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Others have greatness thrust upon them.

jetjaguar September 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

How the fuck can you people watch this?

RubberSoul September 30, 2009 at 3:24 pm

How can someone who’s proably half my age look twice my age?

Probably has something to do with meth, doesn’t it?

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 3:26 pm

[re=423577]badmuthagoose[/re]: Mmmmmmm the smell of apple-flavored skoal, swamp ass, stale armpit, ass, and skoal.

Old Redneck September 30, 2009 at 3:29 pm

In response to NopantsMcGee: No, “dippin’ ‘ is NOT chewing tobacco. Dipping and chewing are different activities.

In chewing, one uses chewing tobacco — which is tobacco that’s been cured then cut into tiny strips — imagine spaghetti cut into strips about 1 inch long. You take a wad of this stuff, sitck it your mouth, roll it around with your tongue so it’s in a tight ball, then — using your tongue — shove it into your cheek. Occassionally you gently chew that wad. The tobacco causes your salivary glands to generate saliva which you then spit out — the saliva is mixed with the juice that comes from the tobacco when it’s chewed. If you’re outside, spit on the ground. If you’re driving, spit out the car window — which can have disastrous results for people in the back seat if you’re moving faster than about 15 MPH and the rear windows are open. If you’re in your pickup, make certain your dogs are in the cab with you and not riding in the back of the truck — that way, you don’t spit on them.

Dipping is done with snuff. Snuff is tobacco that has been cured and dried then ground into very fine powder. You take a big pinch of snuff and insert it behind your lower lip, in the front of your mouth, in the space between yuor front teeth and gum, and, lower lip. Let it sit there — no chewing. The snuff will cause saliva to flow which you must spit out now and then. Spitting while dipping follows the same rules as spitting while chewing.

If you are dipping or chewing inside, or, while settin’ on the porch and you can’t spit onto the ground, you use a “spit cup.” Any container will do — an McDonald’s soda cup, empty beer can, anything — just spit into it. Be careful — if a bunch of good ol’ boys are settin’ around dippin’, chewin’, spittin’, and drinking beer, it’s not unheard of for someone to — mistakenly, of course — use someone else’s beer for a spit can . . . this has lead to shootings.

Way Cool Larry September 30, 2009 at 3:29 pm

A STAR IS BORN!

NopantsMcGee September 30, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=423553]teebob2000[/re]: I’ll have you know my labia, while enormous, can be used as a floatation device, and I’ve had FEMA officials inquire about borrowing it’s design for emergency shelter.

Smartass.

Way Cool Larry September 30, 2009 at 3:31 pm

[re=423452]StoneAge[/re]: NO

Way Cool Larry September 30, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=423451]Julius Drinkwater[/re]: “Thank god he’s yet to contract the tongue cancer”

Won’t be long, I’m sure.

NopantsMcGee September 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[quote] You take a wad of this stuff, sitck it your mouth, roll it around with your tongue so it’s in a tight ball, then — using your tongue — shove it into your cheek. [/quote]

See the cultural divide before us?

In my community we call that activity ‘fellatio’. Different drums!

(I ‘preciate the explano, tho.)

shadowMark September 30, 2009 at 3:36 pm

[re=423602]Old Redneck[/re]: There’s a scene in “Dirty Harry” when Harry tapes an open switchblade knife to his ankle and his boss says something like “It’s a shame a policeman knows how to use a weapon like that” it’s a shame that everyone here now knows the difference between chew and dip.

Formerly Known as KevoTron September 30, 2009 at 3:37 pm

This one’s my favorite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-__2uzQ5za0&feature=channel_page

Him and his “cuz” are awake at 2 AM and they showcase about twenty different cans of chew and call everything “gay” and “queer.”

qaf September 30, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=423589]mardam422[/re]: …And some have greatness thrust into them. Usually not the same thrustee, though.

Jefferson Davis Hogg September 30, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Meth addiction fail.

jetjaguar September 30, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=423607]NopantsMcGee[/re]: You HEAR THAT teebob2000? NopantsMcGee’s labia can SAVE LIVES. What has YOUR labia done for mankind recently? Oh, you don’t have a labia? Well then, I guess we COULD talk about your (most likely selfish) penis, if, that is, people would rather hear about IT than a giant labia that can SAVE LIVES.

Jefferson Davis Hogg September 30, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Meth addiction fail

qaf September 30, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=423625]TBFKAKevoTron[/re]: See? Bisexuals (or as I prefer, ambisexuals) not only get no respect, most people don’t even know they exist.

snoidoid September 30, 2009 at 3:42 pm

[re=423591]jetjaguar[/re]: There useta be a surgery channel. They’d show stuff like resections of colons and nasal surgery. After watching that, this stuff is pure honey.

snoidoid September 30, 2009 at 3:48 pm

[re=423625]Formerly Known as KevoTron[/re]: Hey! You’re right! And is there a connection between everything being “gay” and “queer” and the fact that “cuz” has no shirt on?

Also, he has a toaster oven sitting next to a hot plate, which is on top of the stove. I’m thinking he has not mastered the skill of cooking on any one of those, hence the fire extinguisher on the counter.

Too, is that a window buried halfway behind the stove?

Way Cool Larry September 30, 2009 at 3:50 pm

[re=423483]badmuthagoose[/re]: Limp Bizkit? I figure he’s more of a Juggalo.

Spiro Agnew September 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm

That his vote is equal to mine makes me hate Washington, Jefferson and Adams even more than for giving him the right to bear as many arms as he’d like.

steve September 30, 2009 at 3:52 pm

Old Redneck: why don’t peeple dip and chew at the same time? You’d get twice as wired in half the time?

Click September 30, 2009 at 3:53 pm

[re=423633]jetjaguar[/re]: Swedish labia saved my life once.

Waco Bandito September 30, 2009 at 3:54 pm

You kin tell he’s a bonyfide Democrat by the way he gags off camera. Classy.

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=423633]jetjaguar[/re]: *head hung in abject shame*

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 4:19 pm

[re=423661]Spiro Agnew[/re]: His vote??? What vote?? Have you watched his videos?

June Cleaver 2.0 September 30, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Couldn’t take any more than 49 seconds — too gross.

proudgrampa September 30, 2009 at 4:32 pm

[re=423446]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yeah. And don’t you just wish they’d STFU?

[re=423437]Scarab[/re]: Actually, I think Scarab is on to something. I agree that we have probably been punk’d…

Click September 30, 2009 at 4:37 pm

[re=423664]steve[/re]: Chew gets you wired?? Then someone’s been filling up Skoalrebel’s grizz cans with pencil shavings.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 4:51 pm

[re=423666]Click[/re]: pics please

Aloysius September 30, 2009 at 4:52 pm

In all seriousness, what is he saying at the end about a rifle and Obama?

skoal rebel September 30, 2009 at 4:55 pm

fuckin bullshit fuckin gay ass fuckin assholes

kewlguy42069 September 30, 2009 at 5:01 pm

skoal rebel owns

skoal rebel September 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=423802]kewlguy42069[/re]: i own you little bitch howd you like me and my buddy to make you the meet of a man sandwich?

teebob2000 September 30, 2009 at 5:10 pm

[re=423777]Aloysius[/re]: He says, “all a’you fuckin harass me about Obama.”

He really has no idea why people would be giving him shit. Y’know, it’s kind of touching, in a Simple Jack kind of way.

Crank Tango September 30, 2009 at 5:12 pm

[re=423826]teebob2000[/re]: All he wanted to do was get himself some klan tang and all the nigger/jew/homos gotta get in the way of that. Which is probably better for society, because should this dude really be breeding?

sezme September 30, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Are we participating in a scene from Infinite Jest where we sit around watching a doofus chew dip will he calls us fuckers? Will future anthropologists and historians be the slightest bit confused why this is entertainment in 2009? Even poor benighted Skoal Rebel doesn’t seem to have an answer for that.

rachelv September 30, 2009 at 5:19 pm

[re=423625]Formerly Known as KevoTron[/re]:
He and his cuz should are like a real-life iCarly show.

itgetter September 30, 2009 at 5:25 pm

[re=423481]Pithaughn[/re]: You are my hero. I would like my copy of the nude calendar signed please.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 5:28 pm

[re=423823]skoal rebel[/re]: Oh…no no no. Two things you must never mention in the same breath, my large-headed, malodorous friend: food and sex. We need our appetites for both intact to ensure the survival of our species.

Neoyorquino September 30, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Sarah Palin is such a poser. ‘Skoalrebel’ is a true rogue.

sezme September 30, 2009 at 5:36 pm

But seriously, dip, man: Never has drug addiction looked like such a chore.

Wonderman September 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Who helped him hook up his computer? There has to be someone behind his curtain.

Click September 30, 2009 at 5:53 pm

[re=423787]skoal rebel[/re]: You already blew your cover when you spelled “surprise” correctly in an earlier post. Dead fuckin giveaway.

Potater September 30, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=423481]Pithaughn[/re]: Y’all some hairyass muthafuckas

Potater September 30, 2009 at 5:55 pm

[re=423625]Formerly Known as KevoTron[/re]: “Cuz on my shit”

I think I saw a man-on-man porno with that title.

OReillysVibrator September 30, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Glenn Beck on Xanax.

RabidHamster September 30, 2009 at 6:05 pm

Damn. Someone should alert Megs McCain — this guy sounds seriously depressed. Maybe she can twat his suicide. Why a man who obviously can blow himself, and is willing to do so repeatedly on camera, is so sad is beyond me, though.

FlipOffResearch September 30, 2009 at 6:09 pm

[re=423569]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: I think last time he was wasted, like on whiskey.
Am I misinterpreting this video or did he keep stopping to suck his own dick. Because it looked that way to me.

NJB September 30, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Let me guess – this is an infomercial on the neurological dangers of inbreeding. Right?

RabidHamster September 30, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Damn again, guess I should have watched more of his videos. He’s taking Seroquel, apparently, which he calls his antidepressant and the rest of the world calls an anti-psychotic. Boy’s got real issues beyond sheer stupidity.

ServiceJervixJuice September 30, 2009 at 6:16 pm

[re=423607]NopantsMcGee[/re]: How many homunculi could you shelter? Can we pencil you in for Kucinich AND his wife?

Smoke Filled Roommate September 30, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=423418]Sick Puppy[/re]: Nothing. I laughed till I practically shit my pants, but truthfully, the whole thing is depressing. Bored guy goes nowhere [for generations]. Isn’t that on KY’s license plate or something?

Oh, Skoalrebel, the emotions you evoke.

Smoke Filled Roommate September 30, 2009 at 6:21 pm

[re=423909]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Er, ‘Bored and stupid’ guy. Or Appalachian Man.

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 6:24 pm

When evil conservatives die, they’re sent directly to skoalrebel’s Mouth for an Eternity.

Click September 30, 2009 at 6:25 pm

[re=423904]RabidHamster[/re]: I mis-read that initially. I thought you said, “he’s talking sequel.” I went from thrilled back to melancholic.

chauncey September 30, 2009 at 6:25 pm

[re=423602]Old Redneck[/re]: Don’t forget: put wadded up napkins (Sonic or Dairy Queen) in the cup. This soaks up the spit, preventing messes, even if it falls off the dash into the floorboard.

Spiro Agnew September 30, 2009 at 6:32 pm

[re=423701]teebob2000[/re]: I admit not all of them, I laughed too hard at one

AnSnarkist September 30, 2009 at 6:33 pm

“I try to entertain people.” You have succeeded. Maybe, not in the way you wanted, but you should have phrased your question better when you used your first wish. Beware the Monkey Paw.

RabidHamster September 30, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=423913]Click[/re]: The more of SkoalRebel’s videos I watch, the more I want to dig up Ronald Reagan and piss on his corpse for cutting funding for mental health programs. Judging by his videos, SkoalRebel needs a bit more supervision.

AnSnarkist September 30, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=423933]RabidHamster[/re]: I have two theories as to why Reagan cut funding to mental health programs. 1)He realized that he had Alzheimer’s and in a moment of lucidity decided that he would be in one in an institution if he didn’t act fast. 2) He knew that by closing down mental institutions he would bring in leagues of paranoid schizophrenic voters that could be scared into voting Republican by creating rumors of vast government conspiracies.

Click September 30, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=423939]AnSnarkist[/re]: Then there’s my theory: He was a giant prick.

Dashboard_Buddha September 30, 2009 at 7:01 pm

[re=423607]NopantsMcGee[/re]: I have a question for the labialy blessed. First let me apologize for the impending grossness…but I have to know.

Ahem…if Skoalreble had a girlfriend and he went “down there”, would that cause a serious yeast infection, the mother of all yeast infections, or a fatal yeast infection.

ms_mcgee September 30, 2009 at 7:10 pm

Is that a class ring he’s sporting? No! It can’t be!

RabidHamster September 30, 2009 at 7:10 pm

[re=423946]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Toxic Shock Syndrome.

ms_mcgee September 30, 2009 at 7:11 pm

No skool for Skoalrebel.

Whatever Blows Your Skirt September 30, 2009 at 7:19 pm

[re=423444]badmuthagoose[/re]: “if you put yourself OUT THERE, you are OPEN TO CRITICISM.” Hear hear!!

You know, I just had a scary thought. While we’re all sitting here being elitist, he is posting MOVIE TO THE INTERTUBES!!! That means that ANYONE in the world can see him in all his glory and say: “but for the grace of god I too could be an american”

Ouch!

MortSinclair September 30, 2009 at 7:22 pm

I swear that mouth-hole is gettin smaller. Evolution. Accelerated. Real time. Close that sucker up.

Click September 30, 2009 at 7:34 pm

[re=423946]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: His ex appeared to have more of a yeast affection.

El Pinche September 30, 2009 at 7:35 pm

[re=423958]MortSinclair[/re]: Or a liberal in disguise. I’m beginning to wonder.

Attack Macaque September 30, 2009 at 7:50 pm

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we have laws against incest.

Neilist September 30, 2009 at 7:54 pm

I submit that, in terms of description, only Hunter S. Thompson could do this guy justice. He has that unique blend of Stupid, Inbred, Cruelty-to-Animals Mean that Thompson had nailed.

Scandalabra September 30, 2009 at 7:56 pm

He’s skoalrebel and he’ll never ever be any good
He’s skoalrebel and he’ll never ever be understood
And just because he doesn’t do what everybody else does
That’s no reason why I can’t give him all my love

Click September 30, 2009 at 8:02 pm

[re=423986]Neilist[/re]: Plus he’s dead, so there’s that.

ZombieRichardFeynman September 30, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Back in the 60′s there was a common phrase I haven’t heard for years, but this gave me a flashiebackie…”too stoned to function”

blargh September 30, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=423958]MortSinclair[/re]: Skoalrebel knows that evolution ain’t real. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvWlQGx2Y4I&feature=channel_page He’ll be voting, all right, so he can atone for touching hisself.

Click September 30, 2009 at 8:35 pm

[re=424001]blargh[/re]: It’s true, he don’t cuss no more.

BitchyMel September 30, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Every time I see this mouth-breathing, inbred, jackass I can’t help but think of Idiocracy. He definitely would be the Surgeon General in the movie.

tootsieroll September 30, 2009 at 9:04 pm

[re=423946]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Did you read The Stand? I think it would be like when Randall Flagg finally gives his tube snake boogie to Nadine and her hair goes white and she loses her mind.

Oldskool September 30, 2009 at 9:07 pm

Allow me to interpret: Skoalrebel is upset and he’s put everyone on notice.

I think he needs a new, pithier, speechwriter.

ladymacbeth September 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm

[re=423437]Scarab[/re]: i have thought from the very beginning this was a performance. actually less me, more my southern boy who chews (well, used to…).

if it is in fact a performance:

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]: yes

rocktonsammy September 30, 2009 at 9:14 pm

He and Bristol would be a nice a couple.

Flanders September 30, 2009 at 9:31 pm

[re=424038]rocktonsammy[/re]: He would be the perfect father for Trig!

boy_howdy September 30, 2009 at 9:32 pm

I was hoping for more guitar. If y’all stop harassing him about Obama he might take a few requests. I wonder if he knows anything off the first Dexy’s Midnight Runners album? Y’know, the one with the green cover, Searching For The Young Skoalrebel.

boy_howdy September 30, 2009 at 9:35 pm

[re=424038]rocktonsammy[/re]: Whatever happened to the hillbilly Paultard girl from last year, the one with the bloody bandages on her arms? Creatures of the night, what sweet YouPorn music they would make…

as.the.world.burns September 30, 2009 at 9:39 pm

i think he’s watching himself on the monitor as he’s recording.
has anyone tried to friend him on myspace, to mess with him ?
after the first vid where he rips obama, i kinda considered it…(i re-posted his geetar videos here and there, for laffs)…but now, watching him waste his life away, addicted to dip and making 180+ homemade commercials for it…i haz a serious sad.

DoctorCulturae September 30, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Okay Skoal dahling, let’s do another one straight away. Yes, straight away, and this time dear could you pick up your cues a tad. Not too much, but just a bit. The Grizzley business is brilliant, but the cues dearie, the cues.

leaveskoalreblealone September 30, 2009 at 9:44 pm

i used to end arguments with ‘you don t know shit…fuck you!’ all the time but i got tired of looking for a new job afterwards.

Dashboard_Buddha September 30, 2009 at 9:49 pm

It just dawned on me…this is the Numa Numa guy for the new generation. Call marketing!

Servo September 30, 2009 at 9:51 pm

Still wondering why our jobs are going overseas?

Veritas78 September 30, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Let’s make a project of this misdirected young layabout. We can be his Professor Higgins, and he can be our Eliza Doolittle!

Todomy September 30, 2009 at 10:48 pm

Hmm, I wonder if it was his idea to keep Palin’s book of the Kindle

misterzero42 September 30, 2009 at 10:50 pm

Has anyone else seen this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6jEBfOrFDw

This is either his girlfriend or his sister (both?) or his ex-girlfriend; who knows. Either way, not exactly what I expected, but somehow it makes perfect sense.

notwavingbutdrowning September 30, 2009 at 10:51 pm

[re=423904]RabidHamster[/re]: It is used for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder. Also to treat the effects of withdrawal from meth addiction.

It is one of the most sedating of all antipsychotics. Common side effects include weight gain, constipation, headache and dry mouth. Six to seven percent of patients may experience tachycardia. Less common side effects (less than 1% of patients) include abnormal liver tests, dizziness, upset stomach, akathisia and increased paranoia.

It is also becoming a recreational downer drug.

It is not yet available as a generic so to pay for this drug skoalrebel must have health insurance or, more likely, his mental illness is severe enough to qualify him as disabled and he gets medicaid.

This would support [re=423939]AnSnarkist[/re] theory. Cutting government programs that supported the mentally ill. And cutting funding of public education. Helped to create people like skoalrebel who could be manipulated through fear into voting against their own interests.

This is not inconsistent with [re=423945]Click[/re]‘s theory that Reagan was a gigantic prick.

None of this excuses being a hateful ignorant bigot. Or as [re=423986]Neilist[/re]: put it: “Stupid, Inbred, Cruelty-to-Animals Mean.”

All of this makes me think that his use of firearms to prove his point is more likely than not.

Click September 30, 2009 at 11:01 pm

So what do you think gals – is this guy down to fuck, or what?

Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat September 30, 2009 at 11:16 pm

[re=424121]misterzero42[/re]: god help us they are going to breed! His video proclamation of his love for her was better than “The Notebook”. When he crammed the skoal in his maw and muttered those three words my panties flew off! okay not really. It was just really f*cking frightening to think that he gets laid.

bitchincamaro September 30, 2009 at 11:31 pm

That ain’t no purdy mouth, that’s just a hole in his tumor.

blargh September 30, 2009 at 11:49 pm

[re=424055]as.the.world.burns[/re]: Yeah, he’ll never be happier, healthier or more fulfilled than he is right now; too late for the gay FEMA indoctrination crèche to help. It’s his diseased pigfucker puppeteers who deserve the shattering helpless rage that becomes snark for trying to “take back” our country.

RoscoePColtraine September 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm

Tomorrow, or the next day, skoalrebel will come out with another video complaining and telling us to fuck off all y’all and gay this and gay that and stuffing candy ass dip into his breathing hole and making the cow-chewing-it’s-cud face and bending over every 10 seconds to do god only knows what, not realizing for a second that he’s feeding the animals wonketeers again.

idiot son of an asshole October 1, 2009 at 12:15 am
MFAWG October 1, 2009 at 12:22 am

ROFL, SkoalRebel just outsnarked the Home Of Snark.

Did somebody get told?

No.

Tell Them!

I’m up to 223 subscribers… I don’t know why y’all motherfuckers fuckin’ subscribe to me when all y’all gonna do is fuckin’ talk shit about me.

Oh, SNAP!

blargh October 1, 2009 at 12:26 am

[re=424121]misterzero42[/re]: It’s his ex; her MySpace is abubble over a different guy who came with two babies under two all ready-made. His MySpace lists his occupation as “certified sex machine”, so lightning might strike again.

hunter.blatherer October 1, 2009 at 1:11 am

Oh no, I’ve been blocked by skoal rebel on the yootoobes!!! And all I did was defend him against accusations that he is a gay. (I said we would never stoop so low by accepting him, in my capacity of representative of all gays – except Andrew Sullivan).

Maybe there is something to the skoalrebel/Sully national park rumors.

RoscoePColtraine October 1, 2009 at 1:18 am

[re=424237]hunter.blatherer[/re]: Funny, I would have expected him to be appreciative.

Smoke Filled Roommate October 1, 2009 at 1:31 am

[re=424121]misterzero42[/re]: I’ve seen it. She’s waaay too good for him, honestly.

[re=424125]Click[/re]: He’ll have to hollow out the Grizz can and put it on the end of a Fleshlight.

Bearbloke October 1, 2009 at 2:03 am

Has anyone yet noticed that this fine Confederate-American’s FB page list him as a 21 years old who has been in high school for just the past 2 years but not yet graduated?…

Lascauxcaveman October 1, 2009 at 2:04 am

Y’all just go ahead and laugh. Go ahead, laugh.

But I’m pretty sure this is how Tom Arnold and Bruce Willis both got their start.

schvitzatura October 1, 2009 at 3:13 am

[re=423503]Chain Tattoo[/re]:

James Lipton puts Skoalrebel to the test:

1. What is your favorite word? Grizzdip, fucker!
2. What is your least favorite word? Obama
3. What turns you on? Fuck off!
4. What turns you off? Fuck off!
5. What sound or noise you love? Thumpin’ my Cope can…
6. What sound or noise you hate? Obama on ma TV…
7. What is your favorite curse word? FUCK!
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pro-what? Fuck you, asshole!
9. What profession would you not like to do? (bends over for 10 seconds, making spitty noises)
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Free dip with grampa forever!

REBEL RANDLE October 1, 2009 at 8:19 am

WOOW THIS IS AMAZING! I FIND THIS NEW SITE CALLED WONKETTE WHERE ADULTS HURL CHILDISH INSULTS AT DUDES THAT MAKE WEIRD VIDEOS!!! IT IS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL!!! WAY TO TOTALLY JUSTIFY ANY VIEWS HE HOLDS ON LIBERAL ELITISM!!! OH AND THE BEST PART IS NONE OF YOU ARE EVEN FUNNY????????????????? GROW THE FUCK UPpppppppppppppppppppp

tootsieroll October 1, 2009 at 8:21 am

[re=424212]idiot son of an asshole[/re]:

All kinds of awesome.

NopantsMcGee October 1, 2009 at 9:48 am

[re=424299]REBEL RANDLE[/re]: All in caps?

Thank you for confirming our Elitist French Gay jokes about Skoalretard and his buttboy cousin.

bbqboy October 1, 2009 at 10:03 am

When one misspells the first word of a post and it is only 3 letters, 2 of which are the same, well….
maybe it really is the rebel in all his glory.

Flanders October 1, 2009 at 10:52 am

[re=424122]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: In fact, it is so sedating that it is considered a “chemical restraint”, similar to the way a straight jacket is classified as a physical restraint.

freerangemink October 1, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=423538]Megapteronica[/re]: I get it!

Click October 1, 2009 at 11:21 am

[re=424299]REBEL RANDLE[/re]: How DARE you come in here and start throwing around your lower case ‘p’s.

iolanthe October 1, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=424411]Flanders[/re]: Word weenieism: That’s “strait jacket”, like “straits of Gibraltar”.

Not “straight”. But then, who really is, 100%?

Flanders October 1, 2009 at 1:01 pm

[re=424506]iolanthe[/re]: damn! I should have gone with “leather straps”, I knew I was heading into risky terrority there. sorry. *hangs head*

not_very_snarky October 1, 2009 at 1:42 pm

A girl can dream about wearing that giant plated-gold class ring on her wedding finger. A girl can dream…

WendyK October 1, 2009 at 5:01 pm

I’d hit that.

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