In the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress! According to some sort of ‘Save Glenn Beck’ online petition, Americans overwhelmingly chose WALMART as the symbol of our great Union! Other popular symbols that didn’t make the cut: a bald eagle clenching a Kenyan birth certificate with its razor-sharp talons, LYNNDIE ENGLAND pointing at at pyramid of naked LOLCATS, and the piano box casket …
FRESH GOSSIP-ON-THE-COB: Egad! Silver cuddlebear ANDERSON COOPER has contracted the KANDAHAR KRUP! What is this Krup? A rare and elusive STD, sought after by venereal disease enthusiasts and big-game hunters? Or maybe Kandahar street lingo for fentanyl-laced heroin? Let’s ask DR. SANJAY … Loony Iowan CHUCK GRASSLEY swears on his grandma’s Twitter that he served four tours of duty as a young, dashing Zouave during the CIVIL WAR — and he still has the grapeshot lodged in his anus to prove it … FRED THOMPSON quotes a memorable line from TOM CLANCY’S latest international hostage crisis thriller …
MICHELLE MALKIN is horrified that millions of Americans worship BARACK OBAMA as the one true son of a Luo tribesman. Why are you sheeple so impressed that Obama can turn water into KOOL-AID? Michelle will not break bread with you. She is not your neighbor.
Riley Waggaman’s WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual tips@wonkette.com
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- Marco Rubio Downloads Sarah Palin's Brain Torrent, And The RNC Goes Green
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{ 28 comments }
I think I am falling in love with Riley.
perusing riley’s bogg-waggging is like dropping acid without the disabling side-effects. doctor proctor prescribes a hit a day to keep the blues away.
Malkin speaks white trailer trash.
Bread is not the type of loaf I have in mind for Michelle Malkin.
Chuck Grassley’s grandmammy’s twitter is overrated.
That is all.
Umm, that’s not grapeshot lodged in chugrass’s anus.
Believe me, grapeshot ain’t the only thing lodged in Chuck Grassley’s anus.
Can’t understand a word he says, but I love him just the same…
water into kool aid LOLOL
[re=423250]AuntieLola[/re]: it’s the hat and bow tie, isn’t it? I tried to get my girlfriend to wear them, but it’s a no go.
Actually, I think I get about 60%.
(Riley, you had me at “guano faucet.”)
Grapeshot? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
“There were particles of dust and even excrement in the air.” HaHa! Anderson Cooper eats shit.
And Chugass, like all old people who think they have a clever sense of humor, is just embarrassing.
Is there really a pic of Lindy England pointing to a pile of LOLcats? Cuz I want to make a birthday card with that.
The piano-box casket, and zouaves, in one post? This Waggaman is a pop, trash, middle, and high culture encyclopedia!
Fred Thompson’s tweets are all links to other sites. He’s the old fart’s Matt Drudge.
[re=423291]chascates[/re]: Fred’s lucky if he can get to 140 characters before nap time comes on again.
WALMART as the symbol of our great Union!
Fuck.
Why are you sheeple so impressed that Obama can turn water into KOOL-AID?
Winner.
[re=423259]Sharkey[/re]: Not Grapeshot but a skull. Senator Grassley suffers from rectocranial insertion syndrome. RCIS-Break the silence-Break the vacuum.
Michelle Malkin is a racist stereotype come to life, especially those buckteeth which feature so prominently in everyone’s favorite sneering photo of her. Woof woof.
I hope it’s pointed out to these freedom-loving Americans that Wal-Mart is pro-healthcare reform.
Walmart is the symbol of U.S. America? And here some godless hippie PBS film maker was just telling me last night that the National Parks are the true symbols of U.S. America. Damn anti-capitalist liberals always putting down wage-depressing retailers of made-in-China plastic gizmos.
[re=423337]Rotundo[/re]: Oh no! Lemmiwinks!
“WALMART as the symbol of our great Union!” That must be why WALMART is getting to build a new store on the battleground of the Battle of the Wilderness.
[re=423337]Rotundo[/re]: This can be accomplished only if you Break the Wind. HA! I kill me.
[re=423433]Snarkalicious[/re]: Great album by Spinal Tap! If there ever is an RCIS telethon they would kill!
I move that from now on, Muchelle Malkin is referred to as “That Buck-Toothed Jap”
Grassely joking about burning down Atlanta? This Michigander is in love, now.
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