Trent Franks: What I Meant Was That Obama Likes To Antagonize Fetuses, Just Fetuses

  this is how it's done stapleton!

Okay everyone just hold on for just one sec, we have a REQUEST FOR A RE-DO from Trent Franks, some sort of struggling freelance Congressman who called Obama an “enemy of humanity”: “Bethany Haley, spokeswoman for Franks, said the congressman was referring to ‘unborn humanity’ and should have clarified his statement.” HA! Like four seconds until Trig Palin & the Unborn Humanity is MySpace’s most downloaded aggro-rap outfit. Anyway: astounding. Just… astounding. [AP]

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Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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128 comments

  1. SmutBoffin

    Perhaps he should amend that to say “conceived, but unborn humanity”? We don’t really know what effect Obama’s policies will have on the moon-settlers of the year 2105.

  2. shadowMark

    “Bethany Haley” is a good spokeswoman name. If Trent every flies down to Argentina I’ll look foward to getting daily Appalachian Trail hiking briefings from Bethany Haley. I’ll call her Beth. But some friends will refer to her as Ann. And some of her old friends call her Hallie. But you don’t have to call her Miss Haley.

  3. Decker

    The basic problem with republicans is that their humanity is unborn. Maybe that’s why they enjoy raping us with the holes where their souls should be.

  4. Scruffy_The_Janitor

    What I meant was Obama is the enemy of sperm that meets its fate when it collides with a papertissue instead of allowing to pro-create.

  5. Way Cool Larry

    he’s still a freaky mutant…

    and unless he was against the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan (which I strongly doubt), he is a freaking hypocritical asshole

  6. DustBowlBlues

    I read the original post where he’s quoted as saying the president sees no humanity in these tiny unborns. Sad to tell ya’ this, Trent, but if they tiny unborns look anything like you, I don’t see the humanity in them, either. That is one creepy looking man.

    Is he Asian-Italian, or what?

  7. teebob2000

    Oh, OK. I’m sorry for calling you a harelipped fuckhead dicksmoker. No more harelip. You’re just a fuckhead dicksmoker.

    You’d be OK doing prison time, though. Nobody would think you’s got a purty mouth.

  8. Extemporanus

    [re=422710]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I’ve got a half-eaten platter of mercury-laden rotten tuna twats with his name on it that’s already its way.

  9. user-of-owls

    Hey kids, try this trick at home. If you substitute another word for Obama in the refrain below, do you know what you get?

    “We will fight against [Obama], enemy of humanity”

    Huzzah, venceremos!

  10. Oldskool

    Of course it was libruls taping spoken words again. Damn them and their recording machines. Wait a minute, he’s crazy but he’s not from SC or NC. What a poser.

  11. Crank Tango

    [re=422723]Click[/re]: screw him. he wants to know where Obama’s birth certificate is, and I want to know why his face is melting.

  12. Mr. Todd

    His eyes and mouth look like they’ve been flipped upside down, by God, like in one of those visual brain-teaser dealies.

    Also/Bag-o-Dicks ’12

  13. sati demise

    [re=422740]Oldskool[/re]: Arizona is bringin’ teh crazy lately…what with Kyl sayin’ he dont need no maternity care and WALNUTS and his Meagan all over the tubes mumbling and shouting. geez, hope this gives them at least 3rd place in the crazy category.

  14. Crank Tango

    [re=422748]Click[/re]: as in spelunking? wait a minute, is this the guy that wants to give us all colonoscopies, for jebus?

  15. donner_froh

    Humanity? Now I understand why this was and issue. I thought he said “Hannity” and thought of course he is an enemy of Hannity.

  16. grevillea

    I understand his personal stake in the issue. If his parents had seen an ultrasound of that — weeeell, let’s just say we wouldn’t be discussing his comments here now.

  17. NJB

    The only thing worse than a hypocritical demagogue is a hypocritical demagogue who is also a Grade-A wuss. This backtrack was ULTRA-lame. Of course he’s still got 48 hours to backtrack on his backtrack, and being a Republican shitheel, he probably will.

    Arizona sure can pick-em.

  18. glamourdammerung

    [re=422780]grevillea[/re]: I think that reasoning is pretty much at the heart of the claims of death panels and manditory abortions. I think they realise deep down inside that they are totally useless and fear being treated the way they would treat the useless if they had the power.

  19. shadowMark

    [re=422785]Suds McKenzie[/re]: The good thing about his concern for the unborn is that I’m sure he supports climate change legislation so that when some future fetus is eventually born it will have breathable air outside and I’m sure he supports environmental legislation so that when some future fetus is eventually born it will be able to walk on a beach without stepping over oil soaked birds and I’m sure he supports workers’ rights legislation so that when some future fetus is eventually born it will be able to get a job that pays enough to buy food. So his empathy with unborn humanity is profound and it’s really… What? He doesn’t support any of those things? wtf?

  20. Crank Tango

    [re=422781]Click[/re]: I wonder how wide his stance is on eyepatch underwear?

    something tells me guys like ole melty cheeseface here don’t actually give a shit about any life whatsoever, brown, gay, or otherwise, but they are merely saying they do because a substantial portion of their base cares about nothing on earth besides abortion. I might be wrong tho.

  21. BlueStateLibtard

    I almost long for the days when any carefully reasoned criticism against Chimpie was met with, “How dare you criticize him, he’s the president and you must respect that.” On second thought, no, I don’t, it’s much more amusing watching them implode like this.

  22. hobospacejunkie

    @Crank Tango: Cynic! Also, Frent Tranks has yet to deny that he likees to have pre-teen boys blow him in church confessionals. Until he denies this despicable practice he should be condemned all ’round. No pre-teen boy should be molested in church by this man. For shame!

  23. sati demise

    I wrote him a letter, reminding him that those “pro-life” crazies killed a DOCTOR in his own CHURCH…….

    and that the crazies do not have access to good mental health care right now in this America.

  24. MortSinclair

    Does that guy have any maxillary cheekbones or a jaw? It’s like his face is boneless. He looks like Mr. Plankton on SpongeBob. Yuck.

  25. chascates

    All these fools have to do is pass a bill drafting all zygotes into the armed forces at conception. You couldn’t murder the troops, you betcha’, and Jeebus knows we’ll need the little critters to die for us sooner or later.

  26. Crank Tango

    [re=422800]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I know, right? Well, either he has yet to see the error in his life-loving logic, or there is none at all. In which case, we might as well stop trying to use logic to confront these assholes and start using flamethrowers, or accusations of rape, either/or.

    And look at the guy. Either he is molesting pre-teen or late-blooming boys or he is swimming in lobbyist trade.

  27. RandomWonketteer

    So, does that mean if you’re not human you’re fine? or if your an unborn not human?
    I am confused.

  28. Hopey dont play that game

    But this guy is thoughtful and wise according to a taint-sniffing pederast who made the mistake of commenting on Wonkette earlier today.

  29. SayItWithWookies

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Eh, that’s Newsmax — they’re about a notch shy on WorldNetDaily-style crazy. Hell, I don’t even think a first lieutenant would take any of that shit seriously.

  30. Athar

    Wow, they have racist Cracker jackass disease in Arizona too? The CDC had better get that vaccine ready and pronto!

  31. RandomWonketteer

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Question. Coup from the military, or the militant? Better Question. Does it matter?

  32. Crank Tango

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I stopped after the assertion that a USA American coup would be orderly. I cannot imagine how fucking insanely our cities would erupt if they tried that shit. I would gladly become an insurgent.

    Wolverines!

  33. BlueStateLibtard

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Crazy, crazy, so basically because the turds lost the last election (one won fair and square) they’re advocating endless rivers of blood in the street. Oh but wait, I forgot, it’s Obama who’s supposedly the “enemy of humanity.”

  34. Athar

    [re=422805]chascates[/re]: “Onward Christian Zyotes, marching as to war . . .”

    It does have a ring to it.

  35. Aflac Shrugged

    Sometimes, family planning involves killing unborn fetuses. That’s wrong.

    Authorizing non-lethal torture of those fetuses, however, might save American lives. I mean, it’s dark up there, and you never know where you’ll find a potential Muslim lurking.

  36. AnglRdr

    So what, is BHO going around and rubbing pregnant women’s bellies uninvited? Is that how he’s antagonizing fetuses? Or is it fetii? Foetii? Foetusess?

  37. Crank Tango

    [re=422838]Click[/re]: that’s what you get for using a standard flag. Where is chuck norris, flag stylist when you need him?

  38. Jukesgrrl

    [re=422830]Athar[/re]: “Wow, they have racist Cracker jackass disease in Arizona too?” Yep, it’s the Southwest, emphasis on the SOUTH. But here, the disrespect isn’t restricted to African-Americans, it’s spread around to Messicans and Injuns, too. But they go to church every Sunday and pray to the invisible on behalf of the unborn, so hey, they’re going STRAIGHT to heaven.

  39. Atheist Nun

    Gee, Trent Franks, that sure is a lot of backpedaling you did there! Maybe you should compete in the Tour de France, backwards?
    (Or, alternately, go fuck yourself.)

  40. kudzu

    What a pussy. He can’t even stand behind his own statements. He needs some broad coming out and spinning his verbal turds to hide their true meaning. Typical Repug. Fuck him.

  41. Athar

    [re=422855]Jukesgrrl[/re]: They’ve got that “one way ticket to heaven” and nothing much else, of course they won’t give it up.

  42. obfuscator

    i’ve been watching finance committee amendments being offered for about… 3 hours now. what a bunch of turds.

  43. Crank Tango

    [re=422857]Click[/re]: Ahhaha. ya got me. All I have left is an unused accusation that “Trent” “Franks” is the enema of humanity. May I also speculate that his name is actually trenton, making him Trent-on-Franks? that’s a burn, right? Hmm.

  44. Hunger Tallest Palin

    Those strange, thin little lips. Like two worms are mating on his face. Yup. A few well placed punches would plump those suckers right up.

  45. hobospacejunkie

    OT: Why oh why must MSNBC foist David Shuster & his nasally whiny soprano on us in Keith O’s absence? How did someone with a voice suitable for braille get hired by a television news network? Continued journalism FAIL. Oh, and fuck the pseudo-democrats who voted against a public option & for the deaths of 45,000 people per year due to lack of medical insurance.

  46. El Pinche

    [re=422880]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Yeah, kind of makes me wonder why I’ve donated to the Dems and HCR. Right now, it makes me wonder why I should give a fuck, anymore.

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Is John L. Perry is pseudonym for Alex Jones? I’m waiting for the conservatards to accuse Obama of being a member of Bohemian Grove. Soon we’ll see Hannity infiltrating a secret Bohemian Grove gathering in the woods in hopes to film Obama commit human sacrifice.

  47. SayItWithWookies

    [re=422833]Click[/re]: They’re not going to stop being out-and-out crazy, but there are going to be fewer of them. The longer the Obama administration goes without looking like some scene out of the The Turner Diaries, the more Americans are going to realize all this alarmism over nothing is just ridiculous.

    Remember, when Obama got the nomination, Republicans were licking their chops and talking about what an absolute disaster this was going to be for the Democrats. Then he palled around with terrorists and America-hating radical preachers while being a Muslim non-American whose ties to Rick Renzi were on the verge of being exposed, right there with the Michelle “whitey” tape. Then he was nationalizing GM, promising to bankrupt any power comany that even tried to use coal, killing grandma, sending some crazy empathatic Hispanic to destroy the Supreme Court, apologizing for everything America did, giving Israel to Hamas, and on and on and on and on and on.

    At some point, when you’ve been jolted by the goddamn cattle prod enough times, you just stop jumping. The American people are just about there, and the Republicans — if you thought they were oblivous to the facts in 2006 and 2008 — are in for the surprise of their lives in 2010.

    Not that the crazies aren’t still dangerous — but they’re increasingly isolated, fortunately.

  48. S.Luggo

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]:

    http://www.newsmax.com/john_perry/obama_military_coup/2009/09/29/266012.html
    “Obama Risks a Domestic Military ‘Intervention’”
    September 29, 2009

    A la:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Days_in_May
    Seven Days In May.
    In the remake Glennda will be General James Mattoon Scott.

    Remake: General James Mattoon Scott believes that the Public Option will make America socialist, will destroy the white culture of the Founding Fathers, and will leave the U.S. open to the assault of images of semi-clothed prostitutes (women) on EuroVision. With his helpmeet Sen. Grassley at his side, he seeks to overthrow the racist government of the Kenyan president Obama.
    Tension mounts

  49. Roger the Shrubber

    Just so you know, matching double brackets in a comment elide the text within but leave the outer brackets. And the text was funny. Well, I thought it was.

  50. chascates

    [re=422888]S.Luggo[/re]: But the Constitution was just fine under Bush/Cheney? Do these loons realize it was Bush that started the bank bailouts? Or that Chrysler was one ‘nationalized,’ i.e. given a shitload of money? I suggest we start a grassroots program to convince them that the Rapture will only take place for people who are gathered in Alaska and who’ve been there for at least a few years. And it’s coming in 2011 so they better high tail it.

  51. Darkness

    [re=422885]El Pinche[/re]: secret Bohemian Grove gathering in the woods in hopes to film Obama commit human sacrifice.

    As long as he starts by sacrificing Karl Rove. Oh, wait, you said *human* sacrifice.

  52. NYNYNY

    In the land of unborn humans, the one-eyed monster is king.

    Trent, you suck. A real Goldwater/Goebbles/Taitz Republican would have had his press secretary Hallie Mills came out and be like “What Trent wanted to say was ‘Obama is the motherfucking enemy of god damn humanity’, but there were some kids in the room. He also drew this picture of Obama sitting in a tree eating a banana he wanted me to show you. I’ll now be taking questions.”

  53. Neilist

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: [re=422831]RandomWonketteer[/re]: [re=422834]Crank Tango[/re]: [re=422888]S.Luggo[/re]: On the day of the soon-to-happen Right Wingnut Military Coup, I’ll have just one thing to say to you people . . .

    WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh, and “Wanna buy a gun?”

    Okay, TWO things to say to you people.

  54. Crank Tango

    [re=422909]Neilist[/re]: hell yeah on both counts. I’m not dumb enough to want to take on the military, but I will murder the shit out of some teabaggin zombies after the shit hits the fan.

  55. chascates

    Starting Wednesday Arizona residents may carry weapons into bars. Trent Franks may offend some of those as a Washington insider so he’d better watch his step. Some of them rugged westerners may not go for forced births.

  56. chascates

    [re=422918]Marmel[/re]: The interesting take from that article is that everyone right wing politico has to move farther to the right and say something more outrageous to get any airplay. With Palin, Bachmann, Beck, and the rest that’s a very tough row to hoe. By 2012 the GOP may be claiming that Obama is a pod person and Biden is a clone who was replicated while on a train trip.

    Hell, we may see public exorcisms and politicians talking in tongues before long.

  57. Jukesgrrl

    [re=422898]NYNYNY[/re]: Ah, but he’s not officially a “Goldwater/Goebbles/Taitz Republican.” His very own Website says, “Congressman Trent Franks is a conservative Reagan Republican.” He’s got the conservative part down, but Trent’s having trouble with that Great Communicator thingee.

    His Website adds, “…he has spent most of his life working on children’s issues and trying to build a better future for all children … high profile sponsor of … the Dangerous Crimes Against Children Bill … Director of the Arizona Governor’s Office for Children … Chairman of the Arizona State Children’s Cabinet … Trent founded and served four and a half years as Executive Director of the Arizona Family Research Institute, a non-profit organization associated with Dr. James Dobson’s Focus on the Family, where he further sought to advocate and advance public policy to protect children and families …”

    May I be the first to introduce Pedo Bear into the conversation?

  58. S.Luggo

    [re=422896]chascates[/re]:
    Like Scalia, Bush/Cheney are “Originalists”, who look back to the Constitution’s Sumerian text to find the Constitution’s original meaning. “If in your eye and your eye alone a slave offendeth thee, cut off a limb, unless that dog gets a subprime mortgage. In the temple of Baal, the cutting shall be calleth affirmative action.”

  59. shadowMark

    [re=422920]chascates[/re]: When Pat Robertson ran I saw a video clip of him speaking in tongues. And Palin had that ‘witchcraft’ ceremony in some Alaska church that looked a lot like an exorcism.

    I’m afraid the only thing left for the Right is to start invoking the real Old Ones and accuse Obama of being a follower Cthulhu.

    I note that Dreamland Toyworks just happens to have added a black “My Little Cthulhu” to their assortment of Old Ones.

  60. NYNYNY

    [re=422924]Jukesgrrl[/re]: God Allah Almighty his resume is depressing:

    2 years of college at a Kansan-Arizonan Baptists College when he was 32

    appointed by Republican Governor Evan Mecham (later impeached) to head the Arizona Governor’s Office for Children…no-bid contracts…favors…investigations

    founded the Arizona Family Research Institute, a nonprofit organization affiliated with James Dobson’s Focus on the Family

    president of Liberty Petroleum Corporation…consultant to PAT BUCHANAN

    And…http://www.citizenlink.org/CLNews/A000009701.cfm …???????

    In the event of a right-wing coup, dibs on this guy’s head. :) Wolverines.

  61. Marmel

    [re=422920]chascates[/re]: For me, the hilarious part is that these jackasses think they can say one thing in their little christofascist bubble, and then pretend to be mainstream when the MSM is rolling their cameras.

    Like when that tool that runs the teaparty was all “Hey, we’re just patriots!” to Anderson Cooper and then he pulled out some of his blog posts.

    These people are all over the map, and soulless.

    And I revel when they twist in the wind,

    http://marmel.com/2009/09/enemy-of-logic-calls-obama-enemy-of-humanity/

  62. demian

    That dude looks super date-rapey in that picture. hot.

    I like how “conservative” has become interchangeable with “pussy”. It’s handy really.

  63. iolanthe

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Oh yeah. Jesus. I dropped that tonight as a tip to Wonkette. These fuckers (although note that Perry promises it will be civilized, and probably … fun!!!) are actually talking about a military coup to “solve the Obama problem.”

  64. junkscience

    I like him. He is concerned with fetuses (as I am) and has a (lazy) bedroom eye. I’d fuck him if he lost 10. But who wouldn’t? Who is this guy? I like a man in a tie. Thanks Wonkette!

  65. zhubajie

    Franks has a very weird expression on his face; why? Does he have a frankfurter up his butt? Maybe the Baby Jesus Butt Plug?

  66. zhubajie

    [re=422834]Crank Tango[/re]: No,there won’t be a coup. There’s going to be a Rwandan/Bosnian style civil war with everyone raping and murdering everyone else. “Flee the wrath which is to come” as Jesus said.

  67. smitallica

    Now be fair. With that harelip, what he actually said was “Mwesident Obama is a nemmunny of unbown wyummanniny.” Let’s be journalistic, people.

  68. arewethereyet

    [re=422920]chascates[/re]: to my ears they’ve been talking in tongues for quite some time now.it may be foreign to most of us but the teabaggers, they understand.

  69. dijetlo

    [re=422949]iolanthe[/re]: It’s just his senility talkin’ don’t let it bother you. In a healthy political party their would be a howling chorus of Republicans calling him disloyal, of course the Republicans aren’t a healthy political party, so who knows. Maybe he will be banned from the wack-a-doodle fringes of the American body politic or perhaps he’ll replace Micheal Steele as head of the RNC (fer schizzle!).

  70. jodyleek

    [re=422820]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: That article has been scrubbed from the Newsmax site. Do you have another linky-link for it?

  71. Deacon Frank Orris

    [re=422886]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I hope to the FSM (praise be unto His Noodly Appendages) that you’re right about that.

  72. Egregious

    [re=422920]chascates[/re]: Chascates, what you say is soooo true.

    I can see it now: “Mr. President, what is your response to the claim of [INSERT NAME OF SOUTHERN GOP CONGRESSMAN], that you intend to feed off of the brains of white babies, you are the son of Satan, and that Satan is a socialist?”

  73. bamaboy

    These sort of attacks need to answered, couldn’t the Obama admin close the closest Air Force or Army base? We’ve got too many of ‘em as is and most of ‘em are in wingnut country. Save money.

  74. Catholics4Condoms

    I was going to challenge him to go before the International Criminal Court in The Hague if he thought BHO is “an enemy to humanity” Now he just has to go before the International Fetal Criminal Court in Colorado Springs.

    But where was he for the past 8 years? Abortions were still being performed under GWB. Not to mention the pregnant Iraqi women who miscarried when they got too much shock and awe. How come he never called GWB a criminal to (unborn) humanity?

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