Oh ho ho, a little feedback! Eh, we’ll just make fun of you, instead of complaining to the corporation Twitter. Smooth move with the “bytes” though… Hey wait a minute! Aren’t you supposed to be voting on any number of public options right now, for your JOB? [Chuck Grassley's Twitter]
GRAMPA CORNPANTS
September 29, 2009
Best Chuck Grassley Twitter Ever
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{ 102 comments }
Old douche.
I’d rather complain to SkoalRebel, you non-spelling piece of shit, Grassley. Get back to “work.”
Pls try commntng in forum that duznt make u sound lyk a brain-damgd 13-y.o.
Byte me, Grasshole!
Jesus, Grassley. Now you can’t even bother to type out “abwhore”?
Chuck Grassley: Past the Point of Pretending to Care About Reform.
go fck urself, Chuck.
Those of u who abhor the thoroughly corrupt & atrocious healthcare system N this country, get fuct HAHA!
-CGrass
Kinda touchy there Chuck. I thought you would be used to a character limitation since you grew up in the era of the smoke signals and later that hi tech shiny thing called a telegraph.
What about those of us who abhor Chuck Grassley? Who do we get to complain to?
“140bytes”
My inner geek is crying at this…crying so very very hard.
why does this old pedophile say “byte” when he means “character”? Is it because he has no character?
CHK 6R45133 |Z TEH 1337 H4XX0R
[re=422460]Crank Tango[/re]: There’s no mention of bytes in the Jeebus bible, so Chuckie is fucked either way.
Cksckr.
A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. ~William Strunk, Jr., The Elements of Style, 1918
And a Senate no unnecessary douchetard obstructionist cranks…thanks Iowa!
and yet look…he managed to write skool and school in one tweet. what a twat.
Look, Senator Grassley. I provided captions semi-professionally for years, and it’s just not that hard to stay within a given character limit. It simply requires reflection and above average editing skills. Any sensible person would take the 140 character limit as a pleasant, robust challenge to his or her ability to be brief and to the point. It certainly is NOT a mandate to pollute the gene pool the way you’re going about it.
Child molesters tweet “skool” too. I saw that on “To Catch A Predator.” Has Grassley denied that he molests boys? No? Isn’t it high time he did?
[re=422463]CrunchyKnee[/re]: lucky for him there are no bags of dicks in the bible either. not like I would know. I do believe there was something about “sheaves of shafts” tho.
[re=422465]FMA[/re]: chcknfckr!
[re=422460]Crank Tango[/re]: Byte is terms used by hipsters savvy about the intertubes.
twitter doesn’t want you using their bandwidth any more than we do, chugass.
check it out! by calling you “chugass,” i saved 7 characters!
(see, it can be done – properly, no less – in less than 140 characters.)
Chuck is simply assuming everything’s encoded in the 8bit (1byte) UTF-8 character encoding standard .. Which was invented in 1992 .. Which should give you some idea of how his mind works.
Bytes? Anyway, how is skool shorthand for school?
Maybe you, Chuck, should stop the twatting and get back to work, eh?
More innovation from the man who invented “cornholing”
What hath Grassley twat?
Against death panels for Pops
Pro death of English.
Having singlehandedly defeated “science” and “reason,” the Republican war on eloquence began.
CRY emo Chuck Grassley CRY
damn i did just try to tweet a message in 140 characters using “school” and grassley was right, i couldn’t do it. if only twitter allowed for 141 characters
Hey, Chuck, shutting the fuck up and doing your job would take less than 140 “bytes” too. Love, an Iowan.
1 in 11 iowans uninsured
ashol
Chuck is speaking in hiphoperanto! Everybody bounce!
That isn’t Chuck, it’s his AA. I think her name is Liz.
I propose that he shortens his last name to Assley. I’m all about solutions.
also everyone stop flipping out about using byte interchangeably with character, you’re being out-internet-nerded by a deranged old man
Tell me Chuck, did you go to one those fancy private schools? For boys only maybe?
[re=422473]S.Luggo[/re]: oh, so then it’s more confirmation that it’s not him tweeting his twats?
I wonder if he can eat a bag of dicks in under 140 bites? My guess is: probably, with some tips from lin-z gram.
[re=422483]jetjaguar[/re]: Can Lauri Apple PLZ PLZ PLZ make a drawing of Emo Chuck Grassley?
Shut UP CHUCK! Your lack of character(s) is showing.
“45,000 Americans a year die because they lack health insurance”
How about that. 62bytes.
Jim, I now share your strange hatred/fascination of Chuck Grassley.
But seriously, Sen. Grassley, I hope your goddam kidneys fail after Iowans kick you out of office for being such a fucking toolbag for the insurance industry. But oh wait, you’ll still have GOVERNMENT-RUN MEDICARE, FUCKFACE.
Seriously, though, Sen. Fuckface, I wish you could feel what it’s like not to have healthcare. Because it sucks wondering if today is going to be the day that you get a disease, go bankrupt, and die.
[re=422458]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: The people of Iowa.
I gotta say, I will look forward to dancing on the grave of Twitter some day.
Yes, the entertainment value of watching old white men express themselves like 12 year old “skool” kids is fine and often hilarious, but I’m starting to think that indulging these shameless idiotic blowfish is just not right. I keep waiting for the old “if you give them enough rope” adage to come fo fruition, but I’m losing hope here.
Who subscribes to Assley’s tweets besides the people who think he’s a chugass and wish to mock him? (Thanks, [re=422475]fork-wielding maniac[/re]: and [re=422492]Rumproast[/re]: — do you two realize you were made for each other?)
Next thing you know, he’ll be downloading a text generator from AOL c. 4.0 where you type in what you want and it GeNeRaTeS a MeSsAgE lIkE tHiS, except in rainbow colors. And >~*~[( )]~*~< appended to the beginning and end.
LEAVE CHUCK ALONE, TWITTER. Can’t you see he has enough on his hands already? I mean GOD. It’s hard enough for the man to be on Twitter all day— and what. WHAT? You want him to WORK somewhere ELSE? WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS COUNTRY IS?
And to those hoo thnk chck gasly isnt wrking? Well why don’t you just complain to Chuck about it.
if u lernd to rite Chuck u cud do 140 & not sound like cretin, viz:
Those who abhor my use of “skool” should try keeping a message to 140 characters. Twitter, not I, merits your febrile umbrage.
It’s 1 fucking letter, dickweed. Make the effort.
[re=422473]S.Luggo[/re]: Only the silly savvy. With the worldly unicodes and all, them characters are actually 4 bytes each. 2 bytes if the system sucks at unicode but tries a little. And since twitter supports the unicodes quite well, I’d say ol’ chucky is off by a factor of 4 in his oh, so pretend to be hip little message there.
Lame. Republican. As usual.
[re=422467]schvitzatura[/re]: from the long-lost days of utilitarian beauty, yer quotin strunk, yr brekn my hart.
I don’t know, I think I can fit “school” into 140 chars —
school, school, bo-bool
banana-fana, fo-fool
fee, fi, mo-mool
school
That’s just 63 chars. Hey, let’s do “Chuck” —
chuck, chuck, bo-buck
banana-fana, fo-fuck
fee, fi, mo-muck
chuck
Hey, look, “chuck” rhymes with “fuck.”
From WaPo:
Sen. Charles E. Grassley (Iowa), the top Republican on the committee, acknowledged “shortcomings” in the U.S. health-care system and said he was “not arguing for the status quo.” But he maintained that “a government-run plan is not the answer.”
Such a plan, he said, “will ultimately force private insurers out of business” and lead to “single-payer health care” in which the federal government runs health insurance and the health-care system.
“The government is not a fair competitor,” he said. “It’s a predator.”
ntrtbz r nt yr frndz
Tips for Assly: 1. You didn’t need that “e” anyway. 2. “abhor” = h8 3.”skool” is not cool when you are thanking educators.
[re=422506]HipHopOpotamus[/re]: On a related note, I wish Chuck Grassley had hopped on to the internet bandwagon years ago, so I could see his GeoCities (or Angelfire, I don’t discriminate) home page. Would he have added html that would have a cursor being followed by a picture of his head? Would half the pictures of Bald Eagles superimposed over an American Flag he hotlinked to not load? The world will never know.
What would Chuck Norris do?
I officially ab-whore that giant piece of flabby white yuckness having the ability to skool anyone on anything beyond “how to perform a solitary reacharound” on the Assciated Content material.
[re=422505]Jukesgrrl[/re]: alas, i can’t take credit for “chugass;” that came from the other chugass article this morning. but i’m new to the wonkette and can’t make this intertoob link back for proper credit.
let me try:
[re=420971]snarkalicious said it here.[/re]
He’s just provin’ up his street cred. Now, if someone would just pop a cap into his wrinkled old-man butt…
Maybe his next tweet will be about how he’s ‘havin a hella time’ installing a 60 hp light bulb.
I’ve been meaning to ask: Is there a polite way to respond to “Follow me on Twitter”?
If he’d written “hate” instead of “abhor” he coulda added a y and o to that u.
U are not kool, Chuckie-boy.
Cry Chucky cry. Make your mother sigh. She’s old enough to know better…
He’s a skool rebel.
8bgrtzdx chg, snt kool:’skool’
dush!
iz in ur snate bein ashole
Thank you everyone for sharing the hatred we librul Iowans have felt towards this moran for many years now. I just wish some of you were local residents with a decent political record because we really could use a better opponent for his seat in 2010. Without that, I doubt a petition for Chuckles to stop being such a twat will do any real good.
[re=422526]HipHopOpotamus[/re]: It would probably look something like this.
Also, if you want to talk to yourself, you can do that without the internet.
Chk Grssly iz a vry srs and bzy prson. He cn’t be btherd to spll wrds rite. Twitter mkes hm do it, so STFU!!!1!
He’s a thought Chuck: Don’t use Twitter if you don’t want people to make fun of you for writing like a retard. WOuld that extra letter really have pushed you over into 141 letters?
Sigh. Yet again, Lois Grassley West rolls in her grave, crying “All hands on home row, Chuck! ALL HANDS ON HOME ROW!”
[re=422558]Sharkey[/re]: You get points for that one!
Dera Twitter:
Wont you help Senatur Grassly with smellcheck? He says it is yur folt he is supid.
Birthfully yurs,
Bubba
Grassley twitted this right before the twit in question:
“Previous Twitter was abt my “Ask Chuck” webcast weekly I do”.
YODA.
[re=422529]fork-wielding maniac[/re]: You must be new to the Tubez altogether; giving credit is SO not-new-media. But since copyright is king in my book, I admire the anachronistic effort. And don’t forget to wield your fork on the very tasty Rumproast.
The Twitter Corporation: A subsidiary of the Kroft-Wyler Industrial Cartel
[re=422603]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Since you appear to be rewarding claims of copyright ownership, I would like to take this opportunity to assert one that I have for the word “SkoolRebel”, and hereby request that all points awarded to [re=422558]Sharkey[/re] in your [re=422591]earlier comment[/re] are immediately transferred to my account.
Thank you, and good day.
[re=422687]Extemporanus[/re]: But… but… that was my only point! Now I’m back to zero. Oh well. Can’t fight the law.
[re=422698]Sharkey[/re]: Oh, alright, we can share.
It’s the kind of bipartisan solution SkoolRebel would’ve demanded.
[re=422687]Extemporanus[/re]: Yes, that’s the problem. He didn’t include a “C Extemporanus,” so of course I assumed it was his work. The Tubezsters are so busy with their cut and paste, they have no time for the law.
Is there anything sadder than an old white guy from Iowa trying to be cool?
NO U! diaf CHUXXORZ.
[re=422732]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I © what you did there.
[re=422732]Jukesgrrl[/re]: “He” may or may not be the correct pronoun to use when referring to the Sharkster. “It” is probably the most correct.
As much as I hate TwitteЯ, I шould like to see them do some kiиd of handшriting based twitteЯs. I’m guessiиg GЯassly wЯites some of his letter backшards since he probably supports home skool
Writes “abhor”? On Twitter? Does he realise how much stress he is putting on the delicate fabric of space-time?
Why couldn’t he have it as “OMG INBD!”
[re=422477]Varchar[/re]: Ahahahahahahahaha. Exactly what I was thinking, fellow computer nerd!
Yippie! We’ve attracted and honest-to-goodness, national-level politician as a troll!
Luv U 2, Chck.
Original:
Those of u who abhor the use of shorthand “skool” for “school” ought to try to Tweet a message in 140bytes. Pls complain to Twitter
Edited, space made use of:
If you abhor the use of “skool” for “school”, try tweeting in 140 characters–it’s a bitch.
(PussyAssMoney Rimjob Palin’sTwat)
Aargh! Came here to show off my short message skillz but about a zillion people beat me to it.
Twitter is a language—can’t you read?
Twitter is a language—can’t you read?
So…
GRASCII, GRASCII, GRASCII…
GRASCII, GRASCII, GRASCII…
Because if it’s not l337
Then it’s
the Tweet,
the Tweet,
the Tweet,
the Tweet,
the Tweet,
the Tweet,
the Tweet
That will bring us together…
If it’s not l337
Then it’s the Tweet
Then it’s the Tweet
That will bring us together…
So…
GRASCII, GRASCII, GRASCII…
GRASCII, GRASCII, GRASCII…
GRASCII, I won’t text “No”. How could I?
888888888OOO88OOO88OO8888OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZOOOOZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
888888888OOOOOOOOOOO8OO8OOOOOOOOOOOOZ$Z7ZOZ7ZOZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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88DDD88OZZ8O$Z$ZZ$$77I77I?I$7$$II7II??+=++?IIIII+=~:::~??7++++?$77ZZOOZOOOOOOOOO
8DNDD88OOOOZZ$$7$77777I$777$$77II+7?++=~~~=+III???+$==$7?+??77++77$ZZZ$ZZOOOOOOO
88DNDOO8$88$OOO$$+77$77$$777$77I???7I+~=~Z$?77777IZ+,,$$7?$?+Z$$I7$ZZZZOOOOOOOOO
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8O+$OI+IIOD87Z7OZO$$7$$Z$$77I+I+==~~++=~,,.,,~=I+::~+?+=~,,:~~::~==+OOOOOOOOOO8O
88?7Z?++?88Z=I$ZZZ$$7I$$$777I?7?++=+=~:::,.,,~?+===:~????+++++,,:=+?OOOOOOOOOOO8
88Z=OI++?IOZ=++$ZZZ$7I77$$$II7III?++==~~:,,,=+?I7II7I7777III77,::=+IOOOOOOOOOOOO
888$7$=~=?Z8Z?$IZO$$$II77777I7II??++==~~:::=+~?ZZ$ZNDD8Z$$$ZZ~=~:~+7OOOOOOOOOOOO
8888787~~=ZODOZ7OZZZ$$7II$$7I7II???++==~~~~?=~=OZO88888OOOOZ=~+~~~+7OOOOOOOOOOOO
888887OI?++~~$ZZZOZZZ$77I7$$7I?+??+++===~=+=~:=???I7$888OO7?=:~=~~+$OOOOOOOOOOOO
8888D8$+Z77I+?ZOOO8OOZZ$7I$$II?++++++=====?=~:~=??I????+??+==::=+=+OOOOOOOOOO8OO
88888887=+I=+=IZ8OOOOZZ$$77$$I???+??+++=+?=~==~~===++?+??+===~~~?++OOOOOOOOOOO88
888888887I=+++?+ZOOOOOZZZ77$$7I??????+++??==++++++=+=====~==~==~=++OOOOOOO8OOO88
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88OOOOOOOO88D8DD888888OOOZOOOZZ$77Z$I?+=+II77$7I?====:~++~+=+?II?+O8OOOOO8888888
88OOOOOOOO88D8D88D88888OOOOOOOO$7I$Z7I?+?III???IIIII?+++++?II??I??OOOO8OO88OOO88
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###### ######## ### ###### ###### #### ####
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## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ##
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I hear a whirring…banhammer?
He cares for our tax dollars like he cares for an extra letter in the word school. God Bless Grampa Corn Pants!
take out the banhammer ken…yeah that’s it…take it out…slowly.
by the way is there any hope chuck has a facebook account cause i would like to call him an asshole on it…srsly.
Are you allowed to tweet twice, like one after the other? Because that would give you 280 characters. If you tweeted 3 times, you have 420.
Nope, there’s no doubt about it, chuckles. You are officially a retard.
Byte me.
HE’S NO NAIL
“Thanks Ms Keehn for inviting me to speak to students from Blairsburg, CAL & SE Hamilton schools. Great Qs from 200 students at the town mtg.”
Exactly 140 characters, motherfucker. And in English, too.
[re=422958]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: [re=422994]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: I left a comment apologizing for this late last night, but it’s no longer here. Perhaps it was banned?
The gist of it was: Sorry if my drunken, 2 AM, byte/twitter/character-related Grassley portrait at the end of a near-dead thread fell flat and offended you. I have no intention of repeating it.
However, as a commenter in otherwise good standing who’s left hundreds of well-received comments, it seems a bit harsh to deliver (or any other commenter, for that matter) an extrajudicious “nader et al.” sentence for an isolated misfire, especially when “NPKG” left thousands of equally (if not more so) annoying comments for a year while not even attempting to be relevant or funny.
I’ve always been a fan of your commentary, so your calls to lop off my head are a little disappointing. But if it makes you feel better to have me banned, then I suppose there’s not much else I can say…
Whoa, I said what I said tongue-in-cheek. This is, after all, Wonkette, and there is no reason you should be taking it so personally. I just said what I metaphorically heard; not advocating for your banishment for what was obviously somethingout of character. I had actually assumed that someone had hijacked your account.
[re=424207]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: Whoa is right. My last comment was redonkulously humorless, unlike the oddly disappeared one I’d left which was entirely more lighthearted. Thanks for responding in spite of that.
I think I just woke-up, saw my comment missing, had visions of NPKG’s corpse in my head, coupled with the knowledge that Jim’s fond of banning in batches, and that calls for execution made by certain commenters here carry weight.
Plus, I was still in a rather foul mood due to the discovery that someone had relieved their bladder in my morning bowl of Cheerios.
Oh yeah. I had a question for you in my missing comment: Lowerd/Lowered? Is that like a home/away thing? His/hers? Ineffectively anonymous pseudonym? It took me the longest time—and a Google search—before I stopped questioning whether I was imagining things every time I saw one of your comments…
(btw- Thanks for the hijacked account idea. I’m totally going to use that if I ever run afoul of the Wonkettathorities.)
[re=422956]Extemporanus[/re]: Can you Blingee that for me please. It is the only way my simple mind will understand. It ought to have some bats, bloody teardrops, fedora and smokin’ cigar.
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