“Trent Franks” is some degenerate sad sack who had two options: become a celebrated onomatopoeic actor in pornographic films, or run for Congress in Arizona. At random, he chose the latter option, and thank goodness he did, because now America has been given FAIR WARNING that its President, Barack Obama, is an “enemy of humanity.” So THIS is whom we are Taking America Back From: its President. Frank Franks Sex Trenton or whatever will not stand for this, no sir!

The very first thing Obama did upon (not even correctly!!) taking the Oath of Office was to demand that all the Foreigns—well the Foreigns that count, in the Christian sense—abort their babies with actual American currency, somehow, like maybe literally/physically (?) or even just in a financial sense! In other words:

“Obama’s first act as president of any consequence, in the middle of a financial meltdown, was to send taxpayers’ money overseas to pay for the killing of unborn children in other countries. Now, I got to tell you, if a president will do that, there’s almost nothing that you should be surprised at after that. We shouldn’t be shocked that he does all these other insane things. A president that has lost his way that badly, that has no ability to see the image of God in these little fellow human beings, if he can’t do that right, then he has no place in any station of government and we need to realize that he is an enemy of humanity.”

Trent Franks probably should have chosen to do porn.


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  1. So it’s the “little” part he’s hung up on in the human begin question? No problem with the last president sending actual American people to some God-forsaken shithole on the far side of the planet to kill and be kill by “big” fellow human beings. But heaven forbid that we should allow medical aid money to reach people who might use it to dispose of tiny clusters of undifferentiated cells that might, baring accident or misadventure, grow into a fetus and then into a person.

  2. Is there some “biggest Congressional troll” contest I didn’t hear about?
    And hey, Republicans — how’s that reconnecting with your values shit going?

  3. I’m cornfused, (R-wackenhut), how can aborting feti in Europe be the very first thing Obama did as President and at the same time, he is “a President lost his way that badly”?

  4. “I got to say, if he can’t see the image of god in these little fellow human beings, how is he ever going to see our Lord and Savior in a grilled cheese sandwich?”

    I admire his Frankness.

  5. I kind of like the idea that, inevitably, one’s career options come down to “porn” vs. “everything else”.

    I must have been absent at school the day that they gave that standardized test.

  6. Judging from that photo Trent Franks has made that funny face where you pull down the corners of your eyes and pull up the corners of your mouth WAY too many times.

  7. This guy’s real problem is with Michelle Obama. He is obviously a-feared o’ women & feels a strong need to put them back in their places. At night his fevered dreams alternate between Michelle physically abusing him & Michelle holding a baby-sized version of him in swaddling clothes.

  8. Has there ever been a more untrustworthy looking character elected to the House of Reps? Based on that picture Franks would stand out among the shadiest looking critters imaginable.

  9. [re=421954]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: I know, I know. It’s a curse, I tell you! Did we mention that every one of the people at this “Taking Back” conference are morons? We need to mention that they are all morons, lest anyone forget that they are indeed all a bunch of morons. Thanks!

  10. I would have thought I’d eventually become desensitized to all these show-offy middle aged white congressmen displaying their raging hard-ons for fetuses, but it’s still creeps me out.

    I’m sure he’s a rabid supporter of the death penalty.

  11. Someone explain how advocates for killing foreigns all the time are against killing ‘not actual foreigns yet’ all the time. Go.

    [re=421963]elburrito[/re]: Snap!

  12. The three words in the American Lexicon of wingnuttiness which strikes fear in the hearts of those who read or utter them are: “Abortion,” “Homosexuality,” and “Evolution.”
    Ok, there’s a fourth word which is now the most menacing and frightening to the nuts and it is “Obama.”

    Four words = The end of humanity.

  13. Obama’s first act as president of any consequence
    Obama’s first act of any consequence as president

    I could tolerate an English only amendment to the constitution, if only because it might force the republicans to actually learn English.

  14. [re=421974]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I’m sure he’s a rabid supporter of the death penalty

    And wars. The killin’ done in wars is the holy kind of killin’. Not to mention the holy kind of suffering from sending the wom’n and chilr’n and olds of your enemies fleeing into neighboring countries. Ah, the godliness, it does shineth upon it all.

  15. I’m a dem staffer and have met Rep. Franks. He is an impressive and kind man. I do not agree with everything he says, but I’m more upset by comments on this blog. Are we equating war deaths with abortion? No connection there people, I’m sorry. As for Franks picture, he had cleft palate surgery. Argue his statement, not random lies or, god forbid, grammar.

  16. [re=422006]S.Luggo[/re]: And looking at the map on his page, it’s about as gerrymandered a district as Twinkletoes Hammer delay could have ever devised in his wettest of wet dreams.

  17. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: Oh jesus. Please tell me how the disregard for human life is different than the perceived disregard for human life, as far as abortion is concerned.
    Can’t I sit here and say all the civilian people set on fire in these absurd wars should have never been born…because really, what’s the fucking difference?

    Anyway, you’re defending the asshole that calls the President an enemy of humanity? Nice…

  18. Wiki facts about the chromosome challenged congressperson:
    1. For war
    2. Against online poker
    3. Can’t couple w/ spouse to make babies (needed the “services” of a surrogate)
    4. Believed Barry was a citizen before he didn’t believe it
    5. Doesn’t dance (the Hammer is safe, it would seem)
    6. Doesn’t believe in global warming

    Wrt 2 & 3 and abortion stance, I’d say he has serious poker issues.

  19. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: I’m afraid I have to agree hillrat. War deaths are in no way similar to abortion. People who die in wars have wives, brothers, sisters, parents, friends and leave a much bigger wake of grief and heartbreak. And what does war inevitably boil down to? Somebody wants to take what someone else has, which is a noble justification for killing.
    (You may now re-engage your brain, if you have one.)

  20. Christ, it’s only 2009 and the wingnuts are going with the full retard. Just imagine the insane and inflammatory accusations the wingnuts will concoct the closer we get to the 2010 elections. Someone better tell them that they are blowing their steaming wad of gooey crazy too soon.

    p.s. – hillrat, WTF?

  21. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: Fuck you, we’ll argue grammar if we want to argue grammar, and I don’t believe for a second that Franks is a kind man, or that you are a Democrat.
    Fuck yes we are equating war deaths, and capital punishment, with abortion. If you’re against abortion because you’re against death, then you should be against all death. If you’re against abortion because you’re Randall Terry, or one of his asshole followers, then you are just flat out being an asshole and we hate you, hate you, hate you.
    If you’re upset by the comments on this blog, get yourself gone.

  22. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: You seem to soft-hearted for this…this internet joke website about shitheads in government. Maybe after your tenure as a staffer is up, you could go teach kindergarten or something?

    Can’t a single thread go by anymore without some mewling concern troll or wannabe right-wing firebrand showing up and bringing everybody down?

  23. [re=421974]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: and the money may go to help some destitute prostitutes not spread teh aids so much.

    [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: yes, we equate ‘war deaths’ and ‘abortion’ because the religious right advocates killing live grown people if they support a womans right to abortion. Why do they discriminate? a life is a life, right? If abortion is killin’, then Killin’ grown sentient people is killin’ by my book.

    Franks said a traitorous thing against the POTUS, thats his statement, and he is teh suck for saying it.
    Franks wants to enable rapists to pick their baby momma, and force pregnancy on all other women in America.
    Does he just want more white babies or does he like sticking his nose in other peoples medical freedom and privacy?

  24. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: No one is equating war deaths with abortion. Everyone is pretty much agreeing that the death of post-birth feti, especially for a LIE, is so much worse than a chosen abortion as to be incomparable.

  25. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: Okay. His statement was stupid, impressively so. And he’s a U.S. Congressman, making stupid remarks for the record. We’re just making comments on a blog. Which is worse?

  26. [re=422033]SmutBoffin[/re]: Yeah, what’s with all the effin’ trolls lately? Used to be we could could just sullenly hunker down in our little corner of the ‘net and snarl/sneer snide comments to each other in peace. Now look.

    You don’t think we’re getting all famous-like, do you? Because that would actually suck.

  27. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: He certainly was “impressive” with the way he called our nation’s president an ‘enemy’ who hated life on the simple black-and-white issue of abortion. I’m sure the “pro-life” nutjobs buying guns and plotting how to kill the President, knowing their views are OK because an elected representative has stated the President is an “enemy” who wants people dead, are impressed too. That’s very “kind” of the man to do to for the purposes of ratcheting up hate in people for electoral gain. Or who knows, maybe to get the President killed, with that kind of talk it’s sure conceivable that’s his motive! If only he were more subtle, I’d be impressed!

  28. Waaah! Why are you people so mean? Libruls are supposed to be nice! I’m nice! You are not. Why are you not? You say mean things, why?

    This is a MOTHERFUCKING WARBLOG, bichez. Deal.

  29. [re=422000]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Congressman Franks’ website only accepts input from his constituents. So, for instance, if you live in Surprise, AZ (ZIP Code 85374) you can send him an email.

  30. [re=422035]bonghitsforjesus[/re]: Yes. Per the righttards amongst us; Get the Gubment outta our lives, healthcare reform=socialism. They seem to develop collective amnesia when it comes to ‘bortion, or uh…Terry Schiavo.

  31. To: Taking Back America Crowd
    From: The Real World

    No. You cannot have it back yet. Maybe never. We are not through with making you foam at the mouth, talk silly and dance like Tom DeLay.

  32. “Republican Congressman, now that’s a name no one would self apply where I come from. But then there’s a lot about Republican congressmen I don’t understand, and a lot about where they come from likewise.”

  33. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: Right-wing Christians are like little children when it comes to morality. They find it easy to have limitless compassion for the idea of a human being, but not so much for actual living human beings. Actual human beings do things we don’t like, which makes it much more difficult to muster up that good old Christian compassion and forgiveness.

    But I’m an atheist, so what can I possible know about morality, right?

  34. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: so you are more upset by comments on a blog than by a sitting congressman who refers to the president as an “enemy of humanity”

    Bull fucking shit. Go back to servicing congressman hairlip you trolling fuckstain.

  35. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: As a campaign staffer, your little statement say everything that needs to be said about why we all dislike you snot nose punk hillrats. Now go get your boss another mocha at Starbucks and leave the adults alone.

  36. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: Being polite got us 8 freaking years of C-Plus Augustus and the Cheney Regency. I was a nice person before then. Nice gets you fucked over. Fuck that.

  37. First of all, the funding of clinics that provide information on abortion as well as many other reproductive health services means that more people in Africa will now be given things like condoms which will prevent the spread of HIV and will save lives. It also supports clinics who provide pre and post natal care and women’s health generally. Cutting these services — as Bush did — was not something that supported “life.”

    Anti-abortion people are not “pro-life.” They are just “forced-birth.” They don’t give a rats ass about infant mortality in this country. Or maternal mortality. They don’t give a shit about the health of the fetus — and they care even less about the health of the mother (whose health actually does have something to do with the end result of a pregnancy being a baby that is not just healthy but alive). Once the fetus is a viable “life” they care even less about it. This is just about controlling women. They are terrified by what happens to women, and to societies, when women have control over their bodies and especially their reproductive destiny.

    So it is relevant to bring up someone’s support for the death penalty and war when discussing abortion because it is part of the hypocrisy over the rhetoric of someone claiming they are “pro-life.” If they were pro-life then they would be supporting pre-natal care and universal health care and free day care and better funding for public schools and cleaning up the environment and various other things that make it possible to bring a life into the world and raise it so that it has the opportunities for “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

    The Republican extremists — which is now redundant — are really supporters of a culture of death.

  38. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: The only thing believable about your statement is the fact that you would make it on a humor blog instead of doing work for your Democratic member of Congress.

  39. However, I do agree that it isn’t really that funny to make fun of a person’s scar for cleft palette. Even if that person is a total fuckwit.

  40. I’m enjoying this escalation of rhetoric from “Obama is a threat to America!” to “Obama is a threat to humanity!”, and look forward to the upcoming “Obama in a threat to the galaxy!”

  41. [re=421972]freakishlystrong[/re]: Dude, all this crazy makes Obama look super-sane and adult-y. I’m guessing Rahm probably sent him a fruit basket. A fucking fruit basket.

  42. [re=422113]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Obama wants to appease the Spider Monsters of the Zorgnax system in their desire to construct singularity bombs and solar computronium shells!

  43. [re=422096]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: I called his DC office and the Legislative Assistant’s there said – “Well, he needs to clarify his statements. The Congressman meant “enemy of un-born humanity.” Jesus fucking Christ, that would be hilarious if it all wasn’t so sad.

    So please, hate on his staff too.
    # Tom Stallings
    Chief of Staff

    # Bethany Barker
    Press Secy.

    # Lisa Teschler
    Exec. Asst.; Scheduler

    # Tina Ramirez
    Foreign Policy Advisor

  44. [re=422096]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: Oooo, tanks! I’ve been hunting, hunting, hunting for just such a lovely epigram:

    Anti-abortion people are not “pro-life.” They are just “forced-birth.”

    Off to make a coupla posters for the geezers picketing our new Planned Parenthood clinic – we have two groups of middle-aged combatants parading around, pro-choice vs the pro-fetal-life-only.
    Guess the rest of us either have jobs we must attend, or YouTube videos to shoot so we can rise to the heights of skoalrebel…or posters to spray paint and glitter…should I use splashes of carmine paint, or is that too corndog?

  45. [re=422151]problemwithcaring[/re]: On the other hand, the congressman is an “enemy of post-born humanity.”

    Yes, the nonsensical phrase “enemy of un-born humanity” is so sad it’s funny. What does that mean? You are an enemy of everything that is not born human? Rep. Frank is an enemy of puppies and kittens! Rep. Frank is an enemy of rainbows! Rep. Frank is an enemy of sweetness and light!

    Ironically, it also implies that a person is an enemy of those of us who are not “born again” which would presumably incluide Rep. Frank himself.

  46. [re=421991]Jim89048[/re]: Like everyone else in my home state, he wasn’t born here:

    Us non-Native-American native Arizonans are much more liberal. It’s all the assholes who move here that vote for the other assholes that move here.

    Oh, and btw, he was appointed to the “Arizona Governor’s Office for Children”; and “served as vice-chairman of the Commerce Committee and Chairman of the House Subcommittee on Child Protection and Family Preservation.”
    Ten-bucks says this guy gets caught, in black-face, doing something deadly and embarassing with an underage member of the same sex.

  47. [re=422015]sati demise[/re]: Zing!
    Pro tip: Surprise, AZ is a reliably rightwing district. If it were moved to Mississippi, the only thing that would change is the humidity. Congressman Nutcakes has job security.

  48. [re=422158]GeneralLerong[/re]: Forcing a woman to have sex at gunpoint is rape. Forcing a woman to give birth at (metaphorical) gunpoint is … “pro-life?”

    What are these fucktards even saying?

  49. [re=421972]freakishlystrong[/re]: These yahoos are always going on about Obama and Rahm and their “Chicago politics.” Well, maybe it’s time Rahm REALLY did get all “Chicago” on this a-hole. I’ll donate the baseball bats if it will result in some leg breaking.

  50. [re=422201]BeWoot[/re]: there be Mormons living there….not Surprised about that at all.
    Mormon=forced birthers

    I am in red red Yavapai county…keep wondering why this place is so wretchedly Republican
    But there are pockets of resistance growing here in Prescott.

  51. [re=422151]problemwithcaring[/re]: thank you. I sent a respectful letter to each, about how degrading, insulting, demeaning, disrespectful and dirty Mr. Franks liar statement was and that I would work to unseat that dumb ass in the next election. Mr. Franks should apologize to Hopey.

  52. Enema of Humanity!?!? Well, from what I have seen, Humanity could use an enema. Pretty full of the stuff, especially in some parts, like Arizona. Go for it, ramming speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!

  53. Franks is a fucking choad. One of the boundaries of his district begins about a mile away from my house. He’s one of the many truly awful shitbags that hold office in AZ.

  54. Next we have a Republican standing in from of his adoring throng and saying, “When you are alone in the woods, lynch the n*gger.” Then claiming it was a first aid lesson and he meant “When you are alone in the woods pinch the chigger.”

  55. [re=422011]hillrat85[/re]: Wassup hill-rat? This is America, free speach still exists as far as I know, ie, we can say whatever we want to say, so, go have sexytime with your mom/dad.

  56. [re=422252]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: [re=422331]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I appreciated what was implied by the glimpses of a dancing michael jackson.

  57. [re=422100]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: I actually sort of have a thing for cleft palate scars, but I didn’t want to be mocked as much as hillrat85.

  58. [re=422252]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Lovely bowtie/ pre-pube boy placement. Touching, in fact.

    [re=422151]problemwithcaring[/re]: Meant to say “un-born humanity”? Not buying that. Not even in the context of a forced-birth speech. Maybe he was supposed to say “un-born humanity”. Maybe that’s what the speechwriter put in for him. But I think he knew exactly what he was saying.

  59. [re=422502]Autochthon[/re]: His own parents were greatly appalled when he came out of surgery. They thought the doctor said when it was all over he could have a cigar.

  60. [re=422203]HuddledMass[/re]: Dunno what these forced-birther fucktards are saying about being pro-life. I intend to drop off my posters for the pro-choice crowd merely in hopes of escalating the fray. Maybe if I use some big enough sticks someone will get clobbered with one of my posters. That would be fun.

    But whenever I’m unlucky enough overhear some pro-life arglebargle, what I actually hear is that they believe women should be the sex slaves of middle-aged men – the holy boly version of that sicko in California who kidnapped, raped, and imprisoned that little girl for years.

    So that an Arizona district heavily infested by Mormons should have a weisswurst as a representative doesn’t surprise me.

  61. His appearance shouldn’t be a surprise. When you’re that heavy into the dark Sith arts, shit’ll happen to your face (and your dick shrinks).

    Seriously, though, what’s the over/under on the president getting called a honest-to-goodness “nigger” by a sitting congressman?

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