• May 27, 2012

Tom DeLay Wins All Of Dance For The Second Week In A Row!

by Juli Weiner  9:43 am September 29, 2009


Yes yes yes yes. Tom DeLay’s second appearance on the the dancey weight-loss pyramid scheme show was last night! How big of a success was it, using DANCE as a metric? Let’s just say “mazurka”! It is crucial that you watch this video immediately, as towards the end, Tom DeLay nearly drops the Cheryl lady on her skull, and every time the video is played, it looks like he gets closer and closer to actually doing it. Anyway, watch Cheryl and Tom flail around to a harsh-sounding tango—a performance that earned them 18 sequins out of 30 feathers. [POLITICO]

{ 38 comments }

Darthhippy September 29, 2009 at 9:48 am

Why, would you do that to us. Your loyal fans don’t deserve that travesty. I approve, keep up the good work.

Colin Firth-Certificate September 29, 2009 at 9:48 am

how they gonna keep them down on the farm in Sugarland after that?

KilgoreTrout_XL September 29, 2009 at 9:48 am

Oh jesus. I think I’m going to sympathy-vomit for that poor girl.

DoctorCulturae September 29, 2009 at 9:49 am

I don’t know about any of you, but I’ve put in my call to Dr. Kevorkian’s office. What’s next? Toileting with the Rich and Famous?

WIDTAP September 29, 2009 at 9:51 am

I have stepped on a woman’s toe or two, but never attempted to step on her face.

Monsieur Grumpe September 29, 2009 at 9:58 am

Frankenstein does the Tango. If he was any stiffer he could start a new career as a surf board.

FlownOver September 29, 2009 at 10:01 am

Mr. Obvious sez:

Looks like he can’t go to his left.

Still, this will go in his highlight reel for the benefit of all the 300-pound father rapers waiting for him in lockup.

skoal rebel September 29, 2009 at 10:03 am

gayest thing i ever seen seems the liebrals want to turn everyone gay hell i aint ever ended up at no truck stop in the middle of the night with a peter in my mouth don’t listen to the h8ers

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 29, 2009 at 10:06 am

Delay will be using all this fine dance training for when he becomes a power bottom in federal prison.

finallyhappy September 29, 2009 at 10:11 am

An ad that means something to me- that isn’t the really hot guy from FIT. I love M.C. Beaton- I didn’t know there was a new book.

hobospacejunkie September 29, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=421819]skoal rebel[/re]: Tom Delay has for sure found hisself at a truckstop with a dick in his mouth on more than one occasion. And Kathy Griffin wasn’t there to knock it out, either.

greywindz September 29, 2009 at 10:13 am

It’s tough to control while dancing with a hard-on…

prizepig September 29, 2009 at 10:17 am

As a former ballroom dance instructor, I feel qualified to make this judgment: Tom Delay is an unfeeling monster who is lousy in bed.

TGY September 29, 2009 at 10:17 am

As a gigolo, let me state that monkeys can be trained in dance choreography given enough time, providing you can get them to stop flinging their poo. The Hammer’s routine was all about Cheryl until the end, when it was about him and he flubbed it. This is why pro-am competition is so popular in the States: the professional can make up for the failings of the amateur. To a point.

you cannot be serious September 29, 2009 at 10:19 am

I would want a Silkwood shower after the bug man put his hands on my bare skin.

hobospacejunkie September 29, 2009 at 10:20 am

Wait a minute. This is called Dancing with the Stars. Who’s the star in this duo? All I see is an anonymous woman & a corrupt politician (redundant?) who’s been indicted.

AnnieGetYourFun September 29, 2009 at 10:23 am

[re=421815]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: My dad is so inflexible that he can’t even do a normal shoulder-check while driving. He has to turn the entire upper half of his body to see that no one is in his blind spot. Compared to Tom Delay, my dad is a floating, dancing yogi.

PalinsAfterbirth September 29, 2009 at 10:25 am

That is soooo pre-op!

memzilla September 29, 2009 at 10:26 am

[re=421821]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: This is a prelude to The Hammer’s next Federally Sponsored gig, Mincing Behind The Bars.

Aflac Shrugged September 29, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=421828]greywindz[/re]: And God knows there’s no bigger hard-on than Tom DeLay.

yargisbargis September 29, 2009 at 10:33 am

[re=421833]hobospacejunkie[/re]: DWTS is chock-full of stars!! You obviously are not up on your 80s sitcoms and VH1 reality shows!!

hobospacejunkie September 29, 2009 at 10:42 am

@yargisbargis: You are correct, yes. Also, my sole exposure to DWTS is via the Wonkett & TRMS on MSNBC. And so all I’ve seen is The exTerminator with his partner, the obviously cursed Cheryl. She must’ve been some kind of evil in a previous life to have earned this horrible fate.

Canmon (the Inadequate) September 29, 2009 at 10:44 am

Delay/Cheryl 2012

denver_80203 September 29, 2009 at 10:49 am

He was trying to catch a glimpse of her nipple.

freakishlystrong September 29, 2009 at 10:49 am

Delay will be the wife in Federal Pound Me in the Ass prison. Hell, he’s the wife on DWTS..

CaptainMorgan September 29, 2009 at 11:22 am

He clearly tripped over the line to his colostomy bag.

DemmeFatale September 29, 2009 at 11:46 am

The horrifying “dancing” was a perfect match for the awful accordion (circa, Poland 1943) “music!”

nightshift September 29, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Reading comments about DeLouse as a power bottom, hard-ons, etc. I’m bulemic now from barfing so much!

Way Cool Larry September 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=421931]DemmeFatale[/re]: indeed — that music couldn’t have been cheesier

Johnny Zhivago September 29, 2009 at 1:23 pm

I’d actually watch Delay dancing to “Flim Flam Man”.

yellowdogdem September 29, 2009 at 1:28 pm

When I think of Tom Delay, I think of roaches. I picture them coming out of his pockets.

Accordion-o-rama September 29, 2009 at 1:36 pm

From the scowl on his face, Delay has just realized his partner a brown person.

Joshua Norton September 29, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Tommy would be well advised to start learning how to dance backwards. I’m sure that Big Louie won’t be too happy if he gets his feet stomped on by the bug man at the Penitentiary Homecoming Dance.

iburl September 29, 2009 at 2:55 pm

I keep hearing the sound of 6:31 into this video when I see this a-hole prancing around:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tjWYEMQ70w

Guppy06 September 29, 2009 at 3:38 pm

I’ve seen Japanese humanoid robots move with more fluidity and grace. Did Tom get all his joints removed and replaced by pneumatic pistons, ala Dick Cheney?

StoneAge September 29, 2009 at 4:19 pm

That looks strangely familiar… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE6P-lwS0lQ

FreshCliches September 29, 2009 at 5:16 pm

What’s the exchange rate among sequins, feathers, and whore diamonds?

lampadadog September 30, 2009 at 12:44 am

12 sequins = 1 feather
500 feathers = 1 whore diamond

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