• May 26, 2012
DAILY BRIEFING

September 29, 2009

Braggy Iran Is Really Not Doing Itself Any Favors By Possibly Exaggerating How Dangerous It Is

by Juli Weiner  

  • The US and Friends disagree over how many nuclear warheads, rounded to the nearest jillion, Iran is building right now. Israel’s estimate is quite a bit higher than that of the US, which doesn’t think Iran could make a single warhead even if it wanted to, which it does. [New York Times]
  • Plus, unless Iran says it’s cool with letting weapons inspectors come check out just how many weapons it’s incapable of making, the US will FORBID everyone on Earth—LOOKING AT YOU Hong Kong and Dubai—from donating to Iran’s nuclear wish-list. [Washington Post]
  • Barack and Michelle Obama are very committed to playing with awesome lightsabers for as long as it takes until Chicago wins the 2016 Olympics. [CNN]
  • Najibullah Zazi, America’s famous captured near-terrorist, will be arraigned this morning in New York, where he will be charged with trying to blow it up. [WSJ]
  • Almost 300 people have died or gone missing during the Philippines’ terrible flooding. Ugh, and there are literally two more storms on the horizon. [AP]
  • Guinea soldiers engaged in horrible violence, rape, murder, etc. towards Guinea protesters, killing 87 people. Oh yes and also all this happened in a major sports stadium. [LA Times]

{ 39 comments }

greywindz September 29, 2009 at 8:26 am

“Iran want’s Nuke…eh? Let’s give ‘em Nuke…” – Tzipi Livni

4tehlulz September 29, 2009 at 8:29 am

Bibi and Ahmedinejad just should get a hotel room and fuck already.

ManchuCandidate September 29, 2009 at 8:39 am

Of course Israel wants to over estimate the Eye-ranicans nukular strength on the basis of well founded (but now infectious to the US Amerikuh) paranoia and the need to spank some Muslin heads/asses with JDAMs and 4500 pound Bunker Buster bombs. Throw in the Iranian leadership’s propensity for making bombastic overblown statements, anyone with a semblance of sense knows that things will not end well for anyone involved.

Johnny Zhivago September 29, 2009 at 8:55 am

Iran and Israel both need a timeout or be sent to bed early with no TV…

freakishlystrong September 29, 2009 at 8:57 am

Fine, FINE Iran, have your goddamn nukes already, just plz, don’t twitter about it!

contentsunderpressure September 29, 2009 at 8:57 am

Iran can just take their nikes and shove them up their arse. In a Saudi Palace conference hall hopefully.

JamesMichaelCurley September 29, 2009 at 9:08 am

Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn’t here.

Monsieur Grumpe September 29, 2009 at 9:08 am

Why is it they always want to blowup NY? Why not somewhere else, like, say, Battle Creek MI?

pondscum September 29, 2009 at 9:13 am

[re=421784]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: We’ve got a nutball here in Illinois trying to blow up a federal courthouse. Not getting as much attention because he’s, well, a nutball.

contentsunderpressure September 29, 2009 at 9:22 am

[re=421779]contentsunderpressure[/re]: nukes, nikes…what’s the diff?

Cape Clod September 29, 2009 at 9:24 am

Of course Iran wants nukes. If your army is so shitty that Saddam Hussain could score a draw against you then you need a better class of weapons.

Terry September 29, 2009 at 9:27 am

[re=421784]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

Do you have something against Rice Krispies?

facehead September 29, 2009 at 9:28 am

Wait, what’s that noise?

Nvm, just the sound of Nostradamus beating off in his grave.

Terry September 29, 2009 at 9:29 am

Hey, France! Heckuva job setting up your former colonies for independence.

x111e7thst September 29, 2009 at 9:32 am

[re=421785]pondscum[/re]: He was the one with the SUV and cell phone that were both supplied by the FBI? Sounds like they should throw that one back and hope he breeds other “terrorists” as stupid as he is.

x111e7thst September 29, 2009 at 9:35 am

[re=421787]Cape Clod[/re]: Not so shitty any more. Hezbollah fights using Iranian weapons and tactics and they do pretty well. I would expect at least the equivalent from the Iranian Army and better from elite R.G. units.

ForTheTurnstiles September 29, 2009 at 9:37 am

[re=421790]Terry[/re]: Better off blaming the UK (specifically British oil interests) for the lovely state of Iran at present. Oh, and Eisenhower helped. Some stuff happened back in 1953 or whatever that may have had some negative consequences into the future…

rocktonsammy September 29, 2009 at 9:37 am

Make Iran and all terrorist read SP and JTP’S books. Maybe they will finally sympathize with the bullshit we got to put up with and find something else to do.

Lazy Media September 29, 2009 at 9:40 am

Uh, Iran, there was this guy next door to you? Who pretended he had much badder weapons than he really did? That didn’t work out so good for him.

Hominidx September 29, 2009 at 9:40 am

This happened a major sports stadium what?

pondscum September 29, 2009 at 9:40 am

[re=421792]x111e7thst[/re]: A ginger calling himself Talib Islam. Like anyone would take that serioulsy. NAME FAIL!

ForTheTurnstiles September 29, 2009 at 9:41 am

[re=421792]x111e7thst[/re]: Exactly. And why is this shit in the press, again? They caught two losers with this same technique (one in Dallas, this fool in Springfield), and now they’re tipping their pitches in the news?

bureaucrap September 29, 2009 at 9:42 am

What is the farthest possible distance from Iran and Israel? Cuz that’s where I want to move. I’m thinkin’ New Zealand.

pondscum September 29, 2009 at 9:45 am

[re=421796]rocktonsammy[/re]: Or they will shoot themselves to stop the pain.

hobospacejunkie September 29, 2009 at 9:47 am

In Guinea they arrested the opposition leader & while he was in jail his house was ransacked & his library destroyed. Book learnin’ is feared and loathed in equal measure by reactionary elements the world over. Next time the crybaby right in US America whines about our “dictator-in-chief” let’s ask them how many of theirs were killed at their take bake ‘merica square dance. Go to Guinea, they’ll give you something to cry about.

finallyhappy September 29, 2009 at 9:48 am

[re=421784]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: A few years ago, some guy wanted to blow up a strip mall in Rockford, Illinois. I think he was going to trade some stereo equipment for bomb material(to an FBI agent). I shopped at that mall- I have no idea why someone would think blowing it up would be a good terrorist idea- except someone who would trade stereo equipment for bomb material.

Lazy Media September 29, 2009 at 9:50 am

[re=421795]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: The reference is to Guinea. And if you want to blame empires for their troubles, you can start with the Ghana Empire, followed by the Soso Kingdom, Mali Empire, Songhai Empire, and finally the French, who left 51 years ago. Pretty much all the Guineans’ fault since then, except for a brief interlude with Portuguese mercenaries in 1970.

hobospacejunkie September 29, 2009 at 9:56 am

[re=421790]Terry[/re]: Divide & conquer is a great way to subdue a colony. Tends to make a right mess, however, when you leave. I believe Congo & Rwanda are the textbook examples here. Also, Terry was referring to Guinea, I do believe.

4tehlulz September 29, 2009 at 10:00 am

[re=421790]Terry[/re]: Bonus France fail: Guess who sold Dimona to Israel?

Terry September 29, 2009 at 10:11 am

[re=421795]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]:

Guinea is a former French colony and the subject of the last item on the list.

magic titty September 29, 2009 at 10:11 am

Jules, we think you meant to say the Guinean massacre happen *in* a major sports stadium.

glamourdammerung September 29, 2009 at 10:17 am

The U.S. just needs to introduce the Israeli and Iranian leadership to Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin. Then, tell them that if they keep fucking up, we appoint one of them as viceroy to their country after the eventual war.

Kingbee September 29, 2009 at 10:45 am

I seem to remember V.S. Naipaul writing that in Africa, armies are strictly for domestic use.

Lascauxcaveman September 29, 2009 at 11:04 am

[re=421809]finallyhappy[/re]: Funny, last time I traded bomb materials for stereo equipment I blew up my speakers.

as.the.world.burns September 29, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=421802]bureaucrap[/re]: new zealand is supposed to be pretty fuckin’ awesome. i may join you….especially if the people posting the ‘obama death polls’ have their way…

Click September 29, 2009 at 11:13 am

Guinea pigs.

Gorillionaire September 29, 2009 at 11:36 am

The problem with Guinea is that all of those demonstrating, democracy loving working class people are living on top of all of those sweet gold, diamond and aluminum ore fields. Also, Western “democracies” keep selling more fancy bullets and guns to the assholes who want to hand it all over to The Man.

Snarkalicious September 29, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=421784]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Nah…go for Springfield and make the Crick look more like the crusty brown donut it is.

LowerdPeninsula September 29, 2009 at 11:34 pm

[re=421793]x111e7thst[/re]: If by “they do pretty well” you mean “Israel lit up half of Beirut in hell-fire” I guess Hezbollah has done “pretty well”.

BTW, poor Africa. Even it’s most crazy dictators can’t get the Western media’s time of day, anymore. Nearly 200 people slaughtered in Conkery? **yawn** Does it have oil?

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