Wonkette
FINE, ‘ANY CONSPIRACY GOES’ COMMENTER IS BANNED: The commenter “nader paul kucinich gravel,” who likes all half-fringe politicians, right or left, has been banned. We thought it was funny (maybe six months ago) that all of his/her comments were shaped into little pyramids! Oh, well.
Elitists.
YAY!!! Our Wonkett is once again 99.999% spam-free!
Fucking trogdor his ass.
i would like to say i will miss him, her, it, or them, but some lies i just can’t tell with a straight keyboard.
I would put forth that Bill Clinton, Rush Limaugh and Aunt Jemima have formed a secret cabal to bring down Cartoon Network and infiltrate my tinfoil jock-strap.
Suddenly the median funny is so much closer to the mean.
Pyramid shaped? Was that the point? I was sure it was just random babbling, kind of stream of consciousness, where some thought enters your head and you put it down, and then — hey, a bird flew by the window, was it a cardinal…can’t be sure because that Cheney is such a dweeb, but his daughter, which one was gay, okay now really, you know we can’t just let this sort of thing continue because Rand Paul is the living embodiment of everything we hold sacred unless it was Alan Greenspan’s first night with Andrea Mitchell at the Inn at Little Washington, do you think he was surprised because I don’t, having seen her myself one night at a club in Fells Point.
That’s how you do it. Or go read Finnegan’s Wake.
slappypaddy: Use one of those ergonomic ones.
Who?
I hope he/she/it cries his/her/its eyes out, and then his/her/its fingers off.
So that whirring sound wasn’t the UN black helicopters, it was the Banhammer…
Wonkett: moran-free since 2007!
every fambly has its schizophrenic paranoid bachelor uncle…used to be folks would just tolerate / ignore them, but now they send them off to the death panel, i guess…….
Burninatin’ the countryside
Burninatin’ the peasants like 9/11
Burninatin’ all the sheeples and their thatched roof cottages!
Never met the gent, but if he pissed Jimbo off enough to pull out the BANHAMMER, that’s good with me
I’m stoned
“Burninating teh Intarwebz!”
I started skipping over his comments a while ago. That kind of crazy is no further away than a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s. Dilute! Dilute! OK!
Speaking of, I usually never watch the guy (seriously, I’d acknowledge otherwise if true), but Glenn Beck is exhilarating today, he has 5x the average insane conspiracy claims that are put forth by his 9-12 (read: lament how neat it was around 9/11) studio audience saying Barbara Boxer and the UN are working to take kids away from their parents if the kids do or don’t do homework. Everyone in the room thinks there might not be the U.S. dollar in 5 years!
This is the grandiose conspiracy stuff that makes Beck think the CIA will poison his food, causing him to eat his own poop everyday.
Pyramids were good enough for the Egyptians, I’m just saying…
This guy reminded me of GoodCelery! over at Glenn Greenwald’s UT. Cryptic declarative sentences broken up into McKuen-like free verse. Glenn is a tolerant guy, as far as allowing all sorts of content to stand in the comments, but eventually he broke after too many page-hogging OT artistic posts and set his interns to deleting the comments as fast as GC could make them.
I’m ok with the banning, is my point.
That was an actual person? I just thought it was some kind of conspiracy haiku bot that white cunts like me don’t get.
Like all pyramid schemes, this one was destined for collapse from the get-go.
What most people aren’t aware of, however, is that Kucinich was only involved because he was being blackmailed by Paul who had photos of Gravel going down on Kucinich’s wife while a completely nude Nader whipped them both with the business end of a bloody seatbelt.
SO, it’s kind of a shame that Kucinich had to be punished for misdeeds committed by the other three. But such is the merciless wrath of the Almighty Hammer of Ban: So messy!
I didn’t think NPKG was all that bad, just sort of simplistic and kneejerk.
Perhaps there’s some intermediate punishment that could have been given, like, “If you must make critical comments about the current administration, please at least be a little clever about it, so at least we can admire your rhetoric even if we disagree with you, instead of just name calling. Therefore, we sentence you to be suspended for 24 hours, during which you must read Strunk & White’s “The Elements of Style”.”
Something like that.
V572625694: That’s how you do it. Or go read Finnegan’s Wake.
Or
go write it,
and sell copies mistaken
for the original, Finnegans Wake
Nothing like a good banning to convince conspiracy theorists of the error of their ways.
Or so I assume, as they suddenly stop spouting off. Come to think of it, my logic might need a little work . . .
we didn’t
start the fire
it was always burning
nm
SayItWithWookies: Many times I was planning to sit down and read the complete label of a Dr Bonner’s soap bottle. I went through Ulysses, but not Dr Bonner’s.
Oooh mob justice! So swift! So effective!
Bowdoin: You might have better luck with sales writing The Bibble.
Wait till he finds out that Alex Jones is actually a United Nations spy whose mission is to drive people crazy so they’ll vote for Lyndon LaRouche and the Queen of England can be put on trial by the Illuminati.
Gopherit: Lightning bolt! lightning bolt! lighting bolt!
Bowdoin: Also,
go make it,
and sell copies mistaken
for the original, Dr. Bronner’s.
Newell burninates the Fringe!
Now I have to play the Trogdor song on Guitar Hero …. goodnight!
Not good news. I’m sure NPKG was my brother-in-law, and now Thanksgiving will have an additional serving of lunicy now that his only outlet has banned him. Thanks buckets.
sezme: Jim writing “ban” on his chest after hammering him was kind of in poor taste though, don’t you think?
You won’t be laughing when you find out that the Knights Templar were behind 9/11.
Er ist ein crusty brown berliner.
You’re going to feel so stupid when you find out this was Mike Gravel himself. You gone and done made him throw his laptop into the lake.
Now I have the urge to play the trogdor game
Mull_Man: I think I know that fellow. He’s a MUD troll with a communications degree. His navy SEAL training provided the perfect background in his later role as a mall cop. He probably owns every neat toy the moment it becomes publicly available… but none of the kids will play with him because he won’t wash.
That’s your B-I-L? Fuck, dude. I’m so sorry.
Mull_Man: it looks like this “blog” could use some updating tho…
http://gravelkucinichpaulnader.blogspot.com/
Speaking of poor taste, the world’s bookshelves will be desecrated November 17:
Going Rogue: An American Life by Sarah Palin
The title alone merits an extrajudicial banhammering right in the crotch cave.
Extemporanus: I think I just went rogue in my pants. Or is that “pulling a mccain”?
Extemporanus: Will this be part of the “Rogue Warrior” series from Richard Macinko? Lots of Navy Seals action and fist-fights and stuff?
That guy needs a blog. THEN WE’LL ALL PAY FOR OUR SINS
Crank Tango: Damn. I guess he does have a blog
Jeez, bit o’ a hair trigger, eh? Nader Paul WTF did of course bring the crazy, in wholesale lots, also.
shadowMark: No. That’s “Going Commando”.
Crank Tango: The only way McCain’s even able to “pull a McCain” nowadays is if Lieberman helps hold his hand in an ‘O’ shape while Graham furiously yanks his arm up and down while screaming in fake Vietnamese.
What you did was definitely “rogue”, as no one with even a modicum of control over their own genitals would voluntarily allow them to physically manifest a sexual reponse to Palin.
OReillysVibrator: I just hope Glenn doesn’t figure out the swine flu vaccine is a Pelosi plot to indoctrinate his viewers.
shadowMark: Sorry! I totally fucked up!
The correct title of Palin’s book is actually Going Rouge: An American Wife.
I think it’s going to focus on her time spent moonlighting at the Buck-Nekkid Beaver Barn Bar & Buffet, back when she and Todd first hooked-up, and PAC money was but a starburst in her wandering eye.
this might be OT, but then again this is a thread about NPKG, so whatever.
What I want to know is, has anyone on the right figured out that if they kill off acorn, then acorn can’t be the big bad wolf anymore, and they will have to go back to 911-Hitler-911-Hitler, etc, instead of 911-acorn-hitler-acorn-911-acorn-hitler-911….?
Is it just coincidence that this “Newell” person moves so swiftly on this Monday, after being threatened with a lawsuit by my Dental & Flossing Issues associated counsel?
I think not!
Mmm. Closer to the day Wonkette is paultard-free.
A girl can dream anyway…
Wow, its like that picture of Jesus in the middle of the dolphins. The pyramids just APPEAR!
Helps to smoke a bit first.
He/she was pretty irritating and did not even have a sufficient sense of entertainment to periodically post naked pictures of him/herself, to increase the uncomfortableness…so fuck ya, BANHAMMER…YAW!
Extemporanus: “Gravel going down on Kucinich’s wife . . . .”
A post like that is meaningless — even cruel — without pictures. Please correct at your earliest.
There’s a phrase I learned from you, gentlemen & ladies, which I carry in my heart of hearts. I use it at my third job, where I read this shit all day long, and it never fails to lift my spirits at least a little bit:
“and now he’s banned.”
Crank Tango: Blogwhore.
Neilist: I don’t have one of the wife, but I did find one of Nader, Paul, et al. that’s pretty over the top insane. Needless to say, it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
Fire away!
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it’s a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there’s a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
Tony Giardino: So who’s in this Pentavirate?
Stuart Mackenzie: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. “Oh, you’re gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!”
Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate “The Colonel”?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!
I think you guys just banned my older brother. I’ll have to call him and ask.
teebob2000: Last post, Thursday, March 20, 2008.
LAY-ZEE!
~
Extemporanus: Going Rouge — Finally, the behind-the-scenes account of the slutty flight attendant look. If the book has lots of photos, that’s a book I’d read.
And I bet they’ll get more interest from Drew Barrymore for the film version because Going Rouge sounds more girly than Going Rogue.
I
too
have
often
felt the
need to stack
my comments into
little pyramidal piles
of obnoxious, pretentious
diarrhea of pointless, precious
conglomerations of contrived un-funny.
Lascauxcaveman:
Very
Funny
HaHaHaHaHa
Effing proportional fonts…
Lascauxcaveman:
I
am
jeal
ous of
your sup
erior pyr
amid. u lay
words like a
jew lays bricks.
“Pharaoh” Fawcett RIP
sezme: The greatest name nobody ever heard of was a lineman for the Chicago Bears back in the days when Red Grange was a teevee announcer, maybe the first. It was, phonetically, Bibbles Baughel. I can’t find it anywhere Googling, but Red always managed to name him at least once a game, and the Bears played every Sunday in the early days of teevee.
If Mr Baughel had become a preacher after his career was done, he might well have gone with Holy Bibble as a catchy autobio title.
Thanks for the opportunity to bring back Bibbles Baughel. Wonder whatever became of him.
In death, a member of project wonket has a name, and his name is on his blog for what its worth.
I like to think of the conspiracists as poetic informants.
Bowdoin: I founded him!
(\_/)
(O.0) - I’m Bibbles!
(>!<)
(”)_(”)
Lascauxcaveman: e. e. cummings and goings
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Ohhh Bibbles! You’re such a character!
But where’s your sidekick, Kitz?
Where are we going to get our “Jews did 9/11″ remarks in pretty much every topic now?
Bruno: Not only does he have a blog, he also posts his wacko pyramid conspiracies all over the place, from salon to videogum.
That’s cool, Jim, but I’m still mad that you banned Sara K. Smith because she had a baby. For shame!
idiot son of an asshole: but that might just be a joo conspiracy to make him look retarded.
glamourdammerung: JEWS DID THE PYRAMIDS!!!!!!!11111!!!!!
NaderpaultardWoWfaggotjizz, I commented with Tony the Tiger, I knew Tony the Tiger, Tony the Tiger was not a friend of mine. NaderpaultardWoWfaggotjizz, you’re no Tony the Tiger.
AbstinenceOnly Ed:
I thought
aliens did the pyramids
ron paul!@11!!1!!!aliens are u.n.
http://www.youtube.com/user/ryanshaunkelly
sorry, I know it’s no skoalrebel, but still…
Crank Tango: ah I guess he doesn’t actually have any videos on there. never mind.
but its thoughts were so succinct, everyone is at fault equally, no nuance why did it just … oh ya the antisemitism and stupidity
that dude is now commenting at Rawstory:
http://rawstory.com/2009/09/centrist-dems-spokesman-nixed-public-option/
but was it the conspiracy views or the general incoherence that were the problem?
Naked Bunny with a Whip: I’m still pissed he raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.
Please don’t ban me because my comment is shaped like a straight line!
I am grateful, dear Wonkett, though I had long ago learned to skip over this person’s inane “comments,” consigning them to the ghertto of my mind.
Man, it’s been a long time since we’ve had a good ol’ fashioned commenter execution.
Do another one, Jim! I want MOAR BLOOD.
It doesn’t always make the phunny hats:
http://rawstory.com/blog/2009/09/attorney-oklahoma-bombing-tapes-appear-to-be-edited/#comment-34130
I guess only in reply:
http://rawstory.com/blog/2009/09/attorney-oklahoma-bombing-tapes-appear-to-be-edited/#comment-34286
MGBYG: yeah I think when he posts as ryanshaunkelly they aren’t the same copy + paste ee cummings jerkoff fests. but I could care so little I am not going to pore through all his comments to verify that. Or is it pour? hmm.
This will only confirm in the banned’s mind that the Wonkett is a combined conspiracy of the gingers & the j-o-o-s.
Johnny Zhivago: No wai! SHRINERS DID WTC
MGBYG: No, it still is, he’s just bumped up against the character limit and the rest of the longer lines wrap around.
Extemporanus: I didn’t need to see that.
As I’m sure other people have noticed, those same word-pyramids are posted verbatim on the YouTubes and various other Interweb sites. I don’t know whether that means they are composed by a bot or just posted by one, but either way, Tardbots are NOT OK. Because, you know, they could be recording my keystrokes to steal my World of Warcraft account! Motherfuckers. Also.
Flanders: I’m sorry. Blame Neilist.
President Beeblebrox: .Knights Templar all the way. They did the same shit when they took Jerusalem back in the ’sades. Funny hats and little Model-T’s.
My favorite fringe politician was Davey Crockett. As for the guy you banned, I really enjoyed his book about fear and loathing in Las Vegas. (Oh, and Shadow Mark, I beat you to the rouge joke yesterday.)
Uh-Oh, late to the party and missed the troll. But: The last time I was interested in a literary gimmick like “stacking words into a pyramid” it was done by Jack Nicholson in a movie directed by Stanley Kubrick. You, word-pyramid-commenter, are No Nicholson and/or Kubrick and/or Stephen King! Be gone!
Socialists!
Vision and Prayer
User Rating:
7.3 /10
(6 votes)
Are you
Who is born
In the next room
So loud to my own
That I can hear the womb
Opening and the dark run
Over the ghost and the dropped son
Behind the wall thin as a wren’s bone?
In the birth bloody room unknown
To the burn and turn of time
And the heart print of man
Bows no baptism
But dark alone
Blessing on
The wild
Child.
Dylan Thomas
Whoops, better version (no one is reading this anyway);
Who
Are you
Who is born
In the next room
So loud to my own
That I can hear the womb
Opening and the dark run
Over the ghost and the dropped son
Behind the wall thin as a wren’s bone?
In the birth bloody room unknown
To the burn and turn of time
And the heart print of man
Bows no baptism
But dark alone
Blessing on
The wild
Child.
|o _ |_ _|_ |
||(_|| | |_ |\/
_| /
._ _ o _ _ ._ _ _|
|_)(_)|_>(_)| |(/_(_|
|
_ _.|_|_ _ _|._ _._|_ _|o _ | _
_>(_|| |_(/_(_|| (_| |_(_||(_ |
InKnockYouUs: I liked mine better.
t(>.<t)
\ (^_^) /
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Mommy, make it stop!
is ken gonna take out his banhammer again….can i watch?
Extemporanus: Man, you’re drunk.
SayItWithWookies:
I love that soap.
Extemporanus: You know, there never had to be a rule banning ASCII art before… This is why we can’t have nice stuff.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/AOS70PBTROSZF
Extemporanus: Your messages look like C++ programing language. I will miss the conspiricy theory nutbag word clouds though.
Atheist Nun: According to Crazy Sundays, Papa Hemingway writing on the beach at Malibu showed a pledge of Fitzgerald’s the love scene with The Maria from For Whom the Hell Nose leading in a pyramid shape down the page to the climax where the world turned and stuff.
What is this thread about, again? We got lost, and ended up on this road somehow. Can you tell us how to get back to reality?
Ÿ¿ñð¶Ø±“¶£Æ¢ðߥ³ makes perfect sense to me.
as
for
me and
my house
we serve the
lord Trucknutz
Extemporanus: So’s your mother.
Burninating the crazies makes me smile. Thanks Ken for unleashing Trogdor.