Wonkette
Oh man, we’re sobbing. Watch all of it if you can. Most devastating critique of the Obama administration yet. [YouTube]
FRIDAY FUN VIDEO
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34 seconds.
What is this thing?
His keepers are taking him to county fairs around our fair Republic, passing him off as “human.” Who wouldn’t, for 50 cents a peek, take a chance at confirming that unlikely claim?
Flavored dips are gay as hell.
Awesome, I’m so glad this brave American’s voice is finally getting the platform it deserves. skoalrebel for RNC Chairman!
“He’s taken every right we have away”
Except the right of drunken rednecks to make apocalyptically embarrassing YouTubes.
I particularly like the *fap* *fap* sound effects there in the early going.
This isn’t Mckenzie Phillip and dad’s “love” child, is it?
I eagerly await his manifesto.
consider the source.
That, my friends, is “white culture.”
Although, srsly, banning flavored snuff? That’s some lame ass nanny state stuff, right there.
The inefficacy of those death panels is, thus far, stunning.
Here is the answer to Katie Couric’s question to Glenn Beck about what he means by “white culture.”
Take away fuck and you’ve got 7 minutes of silence.
And why do these crackers use European words like fuck?
Boomhauer is more articulate.
He forgot to say that he’s make Whip-It’s legal. Cause I think he took a few hits before he started the video.
No self-respecting redneck uses flavored dip. Wintergreen is acceptable. All others are queer as a football bat.
there’s no way a human being like this actually exists.
True ‘Mercan
Favorite teevee: NASCAR, Cops, Glenn Beck
Drink: Natty Ice
IQ: 54
Take that, Jimmy Carter and your allegations of racism.
You know, the acting is superb, but what truly makes this video a work of art is the pacing. That minute and a half it takes him to put a pinch of dip in his gob, the repetitive forward bends to his spittoon, the Pinter-esque pauses in delivery, even the complete immobility of the camera until that last disorienting minute make this a monument of great American filmmaking.
I tapped out at 2:10 — This guy needs his own show on Faux News by Monday.
The missing Huckabee?
faketree78: He later says, “If I was President, I’d make EVERYTHING legal.’
Skoalrebel/Palin 2012
Downtheroadapiece: This IS his manifesto. What? Do you think this mouthbreather knows how to write?
“If I was the fuckin’ president I’d make ever-thing legal.”
SPCA libruls. Sayin’ it’s illegal to fuck farm animals.
Seven plus minutes of crazed chubby wingnut ranting? I don’t think I’m going to help you out with that one, Wonkette. Nice try.
I laughed, I cried, I ordered new TRUCKNUTZ!
It’s also good to see AOL is still going strong…
In his high school yearbook he was voted “Most Likely to Be Found Dead in a Pool of His Own Vomit.”
I have the bootleg of this and it’s even better. On the bootleg when the dirctor calls “Cut” you can hear Paul McCartney saying, “Come on, one more time, but with energy, come on, with energy!”
Is he wanking or what? Wouldn’t surprise me. Great future as a TV personality, too.
Wild Cherry Methsi-Cola.
Listlessness? Check.
Pale skin tone? Check.
Lethargic? Check.
Swollen face? Check.
THIS MAN HAS HOOKWORM. Which you can catch from human feces.
Makes sense, as he obviously dumps behind a tree in his backyard.
Come here a minute: you beat me to it; but it’s so true innit?
For you non-inbred liberals, that fap fap fap you hear is the sound of him packing the can of dip. It makes it easier to pinch the perfect amount out of the can. Real kids learn to do this by the time they’re eight or nine. It takes practice.
Trash so white you can see through it.
Did he pick up something from the floor and eat it? Right around when he’s talking about saying “nigger” and not being a Nazi…
ragepotato: I made it this far before the queasiness turned to nausea.
PALIN / SKOALREBEL 2012
Holy shit; get this “thing” a Fox News primetime show immediately!
And yet, he manages to breathe, speak, and dip skoal from the same hole. Hmmm, must have taken years to master. I also enjoyed the home decorating “tips and idees.” Why throw out that broken stove when it functions perfectly well as a desk?
Highlight for me is at 1:09 when his narcolepsy kicks in due to his getting overexcited.
i just keep waiting for him to puke or pass out. also, what the shit is going on on his stovetop? is that a simon says?
how did he manage to turn on a web cam and then post this video?
His family tree is a stump.
Never have I come across such a fiery controversy since the Jimmy Dean Sausage Scare of ‘07…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM
A few observations:
x I’ve got a delicious chaw in right now. And I promise I’m not gross.
x Hot pocket “crispy sleeve” or whatever it’s called in the background.
x Dude looks like he’s Chris Christie’s kid.
So it’s true - the girl Glen Beck raped and murdered back in 1990 had in fact already bore him a cretinous slack-jawed tobacky chewin doughy pantload.
Sweet Christ.
Mocowbell: HILARIOUS!
Either that (what Mocowbell said), or the evil spawn of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.
teebob2000: Narcolepsy was my first guess, but then I realized he couldn’t possibly have been awake during any of it.
The defibrillator on the table behind him does show some level of foresight.
Too bad that the battery will be dead due to compulsive sack shocking when it comes time for his lard pump to need the inevitable goosing.
I will say that his ASCII text art on his youtube homepage ROCKS OUT!!!!!!11
problemwithcaring: True dat:
“Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol’ Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An’ lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It’s real easy, man.”
- What is on his stove top?
- Why is his computer in the kitchen?
- When he bends over, is he spitting out chew, or sucking something?
- How can this guy even run a computer?
- Why is it that all these right-wing men (excepting Ann Coulter) seem to have moon-faces?
- Why didn’t he put on a clean shirt?
So, do we think he’s hammered or just Forrest Gump slow?
If you can’t handle the whole thing, drop in @ 3:30 where he dials up the racism, and bitches about Youtube “censorship.”
A. It’s good to know that I can now say “nigger,” so long as I’m not making a Nazi sign when I say it.
B. This is magical.
Cue the banjos.
What flavor chaw goes with a garbage bag full of gold spray-paint fumes?
how the hell can satire compete with shit like this?
Click: Sorry about shorting you the ‘n’ Glenn, I was holding out just in case I needed it later to spell nigger.
Can’t even bother to look his ‘puter in the eye.
As a half-breed jew myself, I am glad to hear the religious-affiliation-confusion has come full swing - aparently Pres. Obama is no longer a half-breed muslin. Now he’s a N#$%*R Jew!
From his youtube homepage comments. And it’s 12 hours old so I know it’s none of us:
i don’t advocate hitting women but I if i ever saw your mother/sister(same person) I would superman punch that diabetes having cunt right in her fat fuckin jaw for not aborting your repulsive ass. Make sure you stay in the middle of that trailer fatty or you’ll tip the shit over ASAP you obese uneducated human cancer. I hope your entire racist, welfare collecting, family of fat retards dies in a minivan crash you 900 pound excuse for a human.
Click: I’m gonna pull a Frist, and diagnosis Mr. Schkoalvo here as someone suffering from accute, late-stage necroplepsy.
Re: The stove. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen, or he has a stove in some other room of his home (trailer?)?
Joe the Plumber, your 15 minutes are up. Skoalrebel is the new face of the Republican-Confederate Party. They’ll be adding a Skoal plank to their platform, because that’s what God wants.
Come here a minute: Win. Whither, Copenhagen fine cut?
Noonan: He makes Gump sound like Hawking - and Hawking sound like Noonan.
Ugh… I knew 4 seconds in that he’s from Kentucky… Classic Kentucky-Dumbfuck drawl… (I’m from Kentucky originally, you see - but I escaped!) Disgusting.
Has Bill Kristol put on a little weight?
Extemporanus: I hear he keeps his dead sister in a cooler for those times when he feels like having a cold one.
Noonan: “Anyway, like I was sayin’, Skoal is the fruit of the South.
You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, Skoal-kabobs, Skoal creole, Skoal gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple Skoal, lemon Skoal, coconut Skoal, pepper Skoal, Skoal soup, Skoal stew, Skoal salad, Skoal and potatoes, Skoal burger, Skoal sandwich.
That…that’s about it. Oh yeah. Obama is gay as all fuckin’ hay-ell.”
RobertP: I’d consider him a prime suspect if I thought he could spell “fed.”
This is the face of the Republican party. Regard on its majesty. As Bill Maher says, not all Republicans are racists, but if you’re racist, you’re almost certainly a Republican.
“Obama is a nigger-slash-Jew.” That’s a good one.
Noonan: Alright, I’m quitting right now.
His dog got sick of listening, so the guy had to make a video.
No one has even asked the obvious question here: If you want the taste of whiskey, why not drink some whiskey?
Flavored dip? What a fucking candy-ass.
iantenna:
You’d think that people would have had enough
Of silly love songs
But I look around me and I see it isn’t so
Some people wanna fill the world
With silly love songs
And what’s wrong with that?
I’d like to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I can’t explain the feelings plain to me
Say can’t you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me
Now can’t you see?
What’s wrong with that
I need to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you
Love doesn’t come in a minute
Sometimes it doesn’t come at all
I only know that when I’m in it
It isn’t silly, no, it isn’t silly
Love isnt silly at all
How can I tell you about my loved one?
How can I tell you about my loved one?
You think that video is good, you should hear him play guitar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuwXNKlTbKI
is this for real? Like, seriously?
You never go full retard….everyone knows that…!!!!!!!!
i pity him and appreciate his entertainment value too much to make fun of the poor man. these are tears of laughter and sadness. And then more laughter.
Noonan: You missed the class ring on his finger. So he is ejuk8id.
Click: He probably would’ve spelled it “def”, thereby making ACORN the prime suspect.
It’s not nice to make fun of someone who has taken a severe blow to the head.
a chaw is a terrible thing to waste. but it is not the cause of our young, punch-drunk rebel’s distemper. what we have here, my friends, is tragic evidence of the price one pays for a lifetime of corn syrup abuse.
it could happen to someone you love!
Can we online vote him for Poet Laureate?
Ted Nugent jerks off this every 2 hours
Bring me Solo and the wookie!
(I’m surprised nobody else went there yet.)
Too bad the USA doesn’t have SOCIALIST!!!111!! health care. Dude seriously needs to see someone about all that snortin’ and loogie-clearin’.
You all realize somewhere in the near future one of his buddies will stumble into all of your comments and tell him about it?
I can’t wait for Part Deux and the wrath he unleashes on the Wonkerrs…
timmy_the_tooth: Still a better musician than Huckabee
timmy_the_tooth: Apparently there is still a market for jean shorts.
is this a Mensa audition video?
Why yall trippin , he’s just COLD DIPPIN THE COPE STRAIGHT !!
Click on his friends and take a journey through the Land of Retardation and Skoal. I didn’t realize that there was a whole underground subbacultcha of tobacco chewers on the youtubes.
“Man, if I was president I’d make everything legal. I’d definitely make prostitution legal.”
Is it right to infer that this beautiful Appalachian specimen might have trouble getting laid?
It’s amazing that this moonshine fueled tirade started because Jimbo can’t get his mint Copenhagen. Imagine the uproar if Barry was to outlaw Trucknutz! He and all his cousins/brothers would be rioting in the dirt roads all across Bumblefuck, USA.
Can this retard blow hisself or something? For the record, we are not proud of you being a ‘murkin.
“Goddammit, Bobby!”
timmy_the_tooth: sounds like his amp goes to 11.
timmy_the_tooth: I didn’t think it possible but his “guitar playing” may actually be worse than his “talking”
Do you think he’s single?
Noonan: Last person I saw with some dip, he was classy about it: carried around an empty Snapple bottle to spit in.
Well, now we know where to find Sheer “Am I An Idiot?” InSannity’s kid brother.
Seriously- if you’re going to crash from a week-long meth tweek, maybe filming it for YouTube isn’t the greatest idea.
I am seriously looking forward to the video he promises next. Personally, I think he has about as much chance of completing it as he does of standing up. Not his promised “Gonna stand up for…” - just standing up.
For the record, I think that’s a portable propane (gas) stove behind him. The thing with all the crap on it. If he ever cleans that puppy off and tries to use it to cook dinner, this situation could very well resolve itself.
His dip can says “Cope.” He certainly can’t.
I do understand his burning desire to legalize prostitution. Everybody deserves one try at sex with another human being. And that appears to be the only one he’ll ever have.
I would guess he has a meth problem but he is way too fat for that. And I fully support socialist indoctrination in our schools if it made more children literate enough to read the surgeon general’s warning on the snuff package.
Um, he makes lots of videos of himself and his various stages of dippage.
No wonder he’d make prostitution legal.
bfstevie: Ding ding Winner!
skaboomizzy: They should start a band and call it Huck & a Round.
I’m pretty sure this is what an IQ of 72 looks like on Oxycontin. In Dixie.
A few months from now he’ll be at an AA meeting, and he’ll get up to introduce himself with the intention of explaining how he was once so drunk he posted a 7+ minute rant on YouTube that spread all over the internets, and he’ll get as far as “Hello, my name is…” and the whole room, in collective exasperation, will go, “We KNOW who you ARE.”
AnnieGetYourFun: After posting this eHarmony video profile? No way.
Banning flavored tobacco? Have you ever tried those Camel flavored cigs? Mandarin Mint, Izmar Stinger, Twist, and Creamy Mellow Mint? That’s like inhaling dessert, only it’s better than dessert, ’cause it’s smoke. Fuckin’ awesome treat right there, amigo.
I’m with Clem here. Impeach the Nazi Jew.
Wait…Nazi Jew? How does that work?
The issue of flavored dip is a big one, people.
Today we’re all Skoalrebels.
26 seconds. Right to where he shoves the can of dip into the webcam. If it were a rodeo bull I’d have won like 3 times over.
Scruffy_The_Janitor: He and his friends are laughing at us on Twitter.
Extemporanus: that’s no table, you candy-assed, live-in-more-than-one-room liberal; it’s a stove.
Just think: under a single-payer health system, we’d all have to share the cost of cutting out his cancerous tongue.
obama wants to ban flavored dips right after he forces you to pay for facebook and get mandatory sex changes, we will not stand for this
I see that Bobby from King of the Hill is all growed up.
One day he actually got to sleep with one of those girls
But it made me feel awful
‘Cause she charged him fifty bucks.
And it was twenty for everybody else.
I’d hit that, unless it’s E-legal in his state.
Southern by the grace of god, y’all.
21 seconds.
WheresMyJetpack?: I LOVE me some vanilla cigarettes, too.
I confess, I didn’t make it through the whole video… but I recommend you check out his other youtube selections. You can see the many moods of his stove top, and find out how he looks with a moustache!
c-sick: You’ve apparently never been to the Wal-Mart in Cocke County, Tennessee.
AnnieGetYourFun: Oh, this clip really needs to end with a voice-over that says “And ladies: . . . he’s single!
Drop that thing in boiling water and see if it jumps out.
I’m pretty fuckin’ pi-issed.
snoidoid: and why does he have a lawn chair in his kitchen?
AnnieGetYourFun: Technically. He’s covered in head lice and scabies, so I guess you could say he has a lot of hangers-on.
Made it to 4:02. Now to read the youtube comments for what I am sure will be an intelligent discussion.
He declares Obama a “fucking nigger slash Jew,” but he wants everyone to know he’s not a real racist because he ain’t got no Nazi signs on ‘im.
Also, it’s real important to him to make prostitution legal. Have no idea why.
I’m proud to be an “Obama fucking supporter.” In a heartbeat, if I didn’t think Michelle would kick my ass.
“We all got the freedom of speayach… the freedom of expression…”
Yes. And what a fucking burden it is…
An American flag AND a Confederate flag together? The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.
Seriously, he got himself all worked up and then turned off the camera so he could go kick his dog or something.
Rebel flag, y’all, all tha way. I’m a ‘true fuckin’ American’, you can tell ’cause I got a flag from when we wuz all white traitors tryin’ ta destroy the Union.
He has a whole children’s treasury of fun vids. It should be E-legal to have this much fun.
And girls, he’s single!
jodyleek: So, it’s like getting a whole entourage for the price of one? Sign me up!
OK, now I’m starting to feel bad for the boy. He last logged into his YouTube account about 30 minutes ago. He likely saw that he had 19,000 views and went, “Fuckin’ A! I’m famous!”
Then he started to read the comments. I’m sure he’s on his way to buy more ammo right now.
And here’s where he’s from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmonton,_Kentucky (96.7% white)
Then again, if he plays his cards right, Hannity will have him on next week as a guest.
RobertP: I knew this guy was from Kentucky too. I’ve never lived in the South but this is what I learned from the various anti-Obama voter clips shown during election campaign: how to recognize the accent of a Kentucky hillbilly racist fuckwit.
Glad to see you’re all having fun laughing at poor people. Pretty good reminder of why it’s inadvisable to visit Wonkette.
AutomaticPilot: Yaybuls: haha, jinx!
after having lived the longest year of my life in west virginia….yeah their out there jerry.
WheresMyJetpack?: Oh geez. My brother lives in Edmonton (transplant). I hope that’s not my niece’s baby’s daddy.
So there, Piltdown Man doubters! You wanted proof? You GOT it!!
This guy is one dip that could use a lot more flavor — and a lot less Hillybilly Heroin. (Five minutes was all I could handle, and that was four too much.)
Trying to fight off the urge to squeal like a pig after that one.
greg: He keeps a defibrillator on his stove? That doesn’t sound very safe.
This linguistic virtuoso also plays music! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f7ogX2u-I8&feature=channel_page
Glanton: We’re mocking ignorance not poverty.
Glanton: Wait. This guy’s poor?
Glanton: We’re not laughing AT him! We’re laughing WITH him!
Wow. Just wow.
Glanton: Jesus christ - you mean this stupid fuck is also POOR?
As an old Buckeye I can tell you that in Kentucky the bottom of the Coke bottle says “Open Other End.”
Palin/This Guy 2012
notwavingbutdrowning: Let me guess: you’ve got plenty of poor friends? Or: I’m not a classist, but …
Now I cannot stop watching all of the videos and they’re just making me all headachy and dizzy.
Hey wait addictive, headachy and dizzy those are the side effects of dip too.
This dudes a genius.
Where is the rage about clove cigarettes? That’s what I want to know.
George Oscar Bluth: Masterpiece.
Though I wonder how this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvxS_bJ0yOU&feature=related
found it’s way into the related category for this mouth breather.
Crab1: By 2012 this guy will be married to Bristol. Or Willow. Or both. And he’ll be bopping Trig on the sly.
Glanton: Okay, you’re right. We ARE laughing AT him. Not because he’s poor, but because he’s retarded.
Needs more spittin’
Glanton: Family. There’s coal mining in northern states too. You don’t know anything about me. Poverty isn’t an excuse for bigotry.
Extemporanus: Well given the fact it’s a gas stove with obvious leaks in the line, at least give him credit for going with smokeless tobacco.
Seriously, though, the majority of the comments posted here in response to this video are _at least_ as repulsive as the video itself. My fellow progressives always seem hot for social programs & helping the impoverished until they’re presented with a poor Southern person. Then it’s fair game to run wild with despicable classist ridicule. Good job, everyone. Pat yourselves on the back. You went to college, this guy most likely didn’t. Yer doin GREAT
Click: i can’t stop laughing…..the line of the day.
If you go to the youtube page for this video, you will discover that “Skoalrebel” has made 184 videos — One hundred, eighty-four!!!! — on this set of topics. Apparently all with the camera in basically the same place, and his body in basically the same position (from the frame accompanying each title). All of them seem to be about chewing tobacco and/or Obama, with a clear preference for the former and distaste for the latter.
I don’t believe a man this stupid knows how to use The Youtube.
Glanton: Please. Is this your first day?
That Nigger Jew better not take away my Fun Dip.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fun_Dip
Click: Win. Oh man I am so stealing that line.
Glanton: You went to college, this guy most likely didn’t — Peggy Noonan? Peggy? Is that you?
This is the greatest thing I have ever seen, and I could only hack about 40 seconds of it, that was enough. The lawn chair in the “kitchen,” the stove covered with crap, including, as noted above, a hot pocket browning tube thingy. You know there is a couch and a refrigerator on the porch, unless there is no porch, in which case they’re just sitting in the dirt at the bottom of the stairs. And I would pay to see what vehicle sits on blocks in the yard. This is Amurrica, ladies and gentlemen, the pigfucking fucktarded illiterate racist skinsacks full of shit. Whats amazing is that they think we look down on them, and consider ourselves superior. I mean, amazing that they have enough awareness to figure it out.
Glanton: Poor? What with a webcam, internet access, a stove AND and a toaster oven, with flavored snuff coming’ outta his asshole?
Please, for us unemployed canned bean-eaters ’round these part, that lonely mobile masturbatorium is the height of genteel nobility.
Thats the brother Larry the Cable never talks about.
Glanton: Is it okay for us to make fun of self-righteous gas bags?
Glanton: i think you’re probably lost. double back to the church and take a right turn, you’ll be home free.
i made it less than 10 seconds before laughing myself out of breath
Glanton: i sympathize with the poor-dom as it is a part of my roots. I scoff at the idiocy because eradicating that is the only way to become un-poor.
I’m impressed that he actually phrased nigger/jew as, “nigger slash jew.” Gives me an indication that he has some grammar knowledge hiding somewhere within that Skoal-infused melon of a crackerhead of his.
I feel better about our futures in the hands of today’s young people.
Prommie: Lookout honey, Glanton’s going to chew you up and spit you out like a sickly brown wad of minty flavored ABCC (already been chewed chew) before she turns on her heel and stomps indignantly out of here.
Sorry but apparently he is taken (or at least he was back in March):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOO-DPZm40Q&feature=channel_page
Glanton: I am having a FUCKING BLAST laughing at poor people. HA HA HA, stupid fucking poor people. Hey, Trampy McPovertyson, why you so POOR! HA HA HA!
There is great fun to be had scrolling through the 184 other videos, for changes in the background mess. The stove area is much clearer in others.
The killer, the detail that just makes this completely perfect, is that he has a portable butane hotplate sitting on top of his stove. Everyone has heard Jeff Foxworthy say “you might be a redneck if, your working TV is sitting on top of your non-working TV.” Well, this gentleman takes it a a new level, his working stove is sitting there on top of his non-working stove, and that is beuatiful.
Suds McKenzie: Fucking win.
Glanton: Your opinion means the world to me. I can’t believe we’ve failed you, the arbiter of how your “fellow progressives” should act. I will make sure to conform to all of your stereotypes in the future.
The joke, I’m afraid, is on the Wonkette community. The guy is pretty obviously a left-leaning MFA candidate — I’m guessing Tisch, maybe Yale — whose thesis project is some sort of an Anna Deavere Smith-style one-man show exploring white, male, southern stereotypes and how the election of Obama has stirred up atavistic racial and tribal tensions. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that he’d been Semiotics at Brown for undergrad. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what good performance art looks like. Watch this guy. He’s gonna be big. Like: two-week string of sold-out shows at La MaMa big.
Glanton: “…the majority of the comments posted here in response to this video are _at least_ as repulsive as the video itself.”
This here is what we college-educated types call moral relativism. We also call it bullshit.
More proof Darwin’s theory has it backwards. We owe the higher animals a sincere apology.
Glanton: This is a humor site, and if you are offended or have no sense of humor, don’t come here. Poverty is no excuse for ignorance and racism. I think Mel Brooks does it best — don’t just disavow Hitler and his followers, make them objects of laughter and ridicule.
Glanton: I would probably almost agree with you…but he had to let the camera run after 3:30…
timmy_the_tooth: you should hear him play guitar
That’s “GIH-tahr” thank you.
Click:
He’s never denied it, I heard.
fromhils: Jessica Jones, eh? God, she must be 12 or 13 by now.
bored with gravity: This dude is obviously at least as deserving of scorn as Hitler, you’re right.
Prommie: Uh-huh. The grocery/garbage bag hanging from the stove dials, the oh-so stylish ray bans melting in the pilot….
Glanton: What you are seeing is the facade of nervous laughter hiding the deep down hope that this is really a parody but knowing that even if it is, the material to make it exists in the north, south, east and west of every corner of this good earth. No place has cornered the market on ignorance.
Should we really be making fun of the mentally ill?
We are?
Oh, ok… carry on, mates.
Glanton: Really, shouldn’t you be letting your son fight his own battles?
I kept expecting to hear him either art or retch when he leaned over. In his drunken/ stoned/ coped-up state, I don’t think I could have held off for 7+ minutes. See, he is good at something!
Glanton: Classist! Oooooohhh, the libtard sin. Great thing ’bout murrica is that to a great extent, class is not strictly a matter of birth. With the same amount of money, one can buy a bunch of guns and ATVs, strew the yard with cast off furniture and childrens toys and examples of one’s amatuer taxidermy, and live in a grimy cave littered with fast-food wrappers and spit-cups, drunk and stoned on Busch Light and meth, or one can, well, pick up the yard, plant a little perennial garden, tastefully decorate even the most humble home and, oh my god, keep it clean, put together a cool little wine cellar composed of great but little-known $10 and under wines from Argentina, Spain, and Bulgaria. Oh, and read books and shit, too, and speak with proper grammar and pronunciation.
Oh, fuck, well, I guess the point is, if not having any shit on me means I am a royalist, then so I am. If the wonderful culture of the heartland values dirty houses, dirty yards, greasy crap food and obesity, and if looking down at these things makes me an EEE-leetist, well, yup.
Lazy Media: It may be almost as gay as flavored dips to say this, but - WIN.
I kept expecting to hear him either fart or retch when he leaned over. In his drunken/ stoned/ coped-up state, I don’t think I could have held off for 7+ minutes. See, he is good at something!
Almost 200 comments and no one has refuted the Skoalrebel’s claim that banning flavor dips is fuckin’ gay. See? There is a common ground between red states and blue states. Hope lives!
Glanton: Your trolling concern is duly noted, Concerny McTrollypants. Note for the future: It’s stuff like “my fellow progressives” that always gives you guys away.
This creature is really an accurate representation of what Trig Palin will be like in 18 years… It’s uncanny.
And really, he’s not signing off because he’s “too pissed” to go on. I do believe he’s about to go fuck a chicken.
“I’m gonna stand up fer whats right,” while sitting down.
Also, I wonder what that shirt smells like.
Glanton: as an old wonkettie who misses more often than he hits, i can tell you you’re missing. try again, but with a lighter twist. you must have some wit hidden in you somewhere. think of it as your secret butterfly treasure, yearning to be free, and let it go as though you were doing drag for the very first time.
Prommie:
Oh, it singes my libtard heart, the burning knowledge therein that I am better than fat tub of shit in exhibit “A”. I know, I know, all humans are equal and deserve an equal, fair shot but…I am TOTALLY more equal than that dude, and 1000 times more deserving of the lifestyle the advantages of my birth entitled me to.
I am ashamed to feel like that, but I do. I look at turdboy there, and I do.
Zashikibuta: Not true. A person with Down’s Syndrome would never be this hateful. It’s a lack of genetic diversity, not extra chromosomes that’s to blame.
Can Wonkett at least try to be more spiritually nourishing? Must we always traffic in cruelty and fun at retards’ expense. Glanton sees much room for improvement on our progressive beacon of tolerance internet site.
imissopus: He hates “niggers,” but I bet his country-ass loves rap music. They all do.
When he said shit about “Definitely makin’ prost’t'ooshun’ legul”, my skin crawled in fear for those poor theoretical whores.
Glanton: What on earth makes you think this turd didn’t go to college. I had the pleasure of going to the University of Georgia and this gentleman certainly would not have been out of place there.
Also, is he saying that Obama banned “whisky dip” or “whisky dick”? If its the latter I would think he would be happy about it.
Click: I stand abashed and suitably chastened.
…but imagine if Corky from Life Goes On were raised by Sarah and Snowtrooper Palin.
Marsupialboy: Thinking about this makes me happy. Thank you.
AnnieGetYourFun: Most likely. I cannot imagine anyone being married to THAT.
Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, what a planet.
Zashikibuta: I have been in Corky’s presence…he is an asshole, even without being raised by the snowbilly…I really never thought I would ever have the balls to say something bad about a person with a disability like that, but his assholeitude, at least when I met him, really was beyond belief…
OK, I’m late to the party but come-fucking-on. This HAS to be a live action South Park episode.
Maybe liberals should rethink expanding broadband internet service into rural areas.
3:16 ladies and gentlemen. 3:16
Glanton: Glanton, get-the-fuck-outta-here. You’re not a progressive. Progressives have a sense of humor. And a functioning brain stem.
He looks like the type who uses a Jiffy Pop smoke alarm.
mookworthjwilson: In that case I stand abashed and suitably chastened.
biznesskommunity: Are you kidding? Every minute this guy is inside sitting in front of his webcam is a minute where he is not outside lynching somebody.
teebob2000: I think a hyphen might have been more correct.
These days though, Hebraic African is more respectful.
mookworthjwilson: My fellow progressives always seem hot for social programs & helping the impoverished until they’re presented with a retarded celebrity asshole. Then it’s fair game to run wild with despicable non-retarded, non-asshole ridicule. Good job, everyone. Pat yourselves on the back. You went to college, this guy most likely didn’t. Yer doin GREAT
Thanks to Glanton for introducing a fun new kind of post. These just write themselves.
This is good and all but did you hear him shred some “Smoke on the Water?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTnKkl5wJck
this is an awesome glimpse into the future of the GOP.
George Oscar Bluth: Leo Fender would be so proud.
Match made in heaven.
Why are they all congested and marble mouthed?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6jEBfOrFDw
George Oscar Bluth: Sounds like he put the microphone in the rear end of his dog.
This is one of those “hard working white people” Obama had problems with during the election, isn’t it?
fromhils: oooooh, and shirtless, BONUS
He has been neutured, right? I mean, on the off chance that some one-toothed balding scraggly-assed meth addict actually gets wasted enough to have sex with him, he ain’t gonna reproduce, right? Poor fucker is so inbred already, I’d hate to see what would pop out.
mookworthjwilson: Now I don’t feel so bad for my occasional (all too frequent) laughs at his expense.
mookworthjwilson: You just hate Corky because he’s poor.
I’m sorry but this totally sets of my BS alarm. Semiotics at Brown - that I could believe.
Greatest Channel Comment EVAR:
i don’t advocate hitting women but I if i ever saw your mother/sister(same person) I would superman punch that diabetes having cunt right in her fat fuckin jaw for not aborting your repulsive ass. Make sure you stay in the middle of that trailer fatty or you’ll tip the shit over ASAP you obese uneducated human cancer. I hope your entire racist, welfare collecting, family of fat retards dies in a minivan crash you 900 pound excuse for a human.
In case no one has said this yet, THANK YOU JIM NEWELL! This is the best present EVER! I’m gonna get drunk and watch it again and again.
BadKitty: Pop’s the wrong verb. You were looking for ooze.
Voyou Charmant: Fatty Love! Nah, he’d beat her if she ever came home without his Cope Whiskey flavurred diup.
Cheney Guevara: the “slash” was actually freudian, a welling up of what he wants to do to the blacks and jews.
I’d hit it.
0:34 — that’s for fags. that’s how faggots do it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlPZq8llJJ4
also mouth cancer rules
I can not stop watching this motherfuckers videos.
hobospacejunkie: I’d run it over in the name of the gene pool.
Smoke Filled Roommate: check the comments and his other videos, that really is his GF.
Skoalrebel/Santelli ‘12!
Voyou Charmant: wow. i went there and watched about 27 seconds of that. you and glanton and the king of the dipshits have taken me right around the corner of myself. suddenly i’m seeing on my youtube a very limited and lonely young man and maybe i’m not seeing straight, but it hurts my heart.
WheresMyJetpack?: 10 females to every 7 males, and he’s probably not the worst looking either. So maybe he does have a chance! (or maybe he’s gay since he like flavored snuff)
Glanton: registered poor here, and I’m offended that you must think all poor people are stupid. Nobody said anything about his income til you showed up, they were all mocking his ignorance.
Fun fact: most poor people vote Democratic! (oh, but maybe blacks don’t count as poor to you, because they’re lazy, unlike this hardworking white American?)
Voyou Charmant: Did he say by “Blue Purple?” Okay, now I feel bad.
Click: Nevermind, he was overmodulating. Turning the sound almost all the way down I can make out “Deep.”
Voyou Charmant: His “husky wintergreen” video apparently has a ‘translate’ button associated with it.. lmao
He may live in South Central Kentucky but he has a Southwest Virginia accent.
And to think that if this jackass could get his bleary ass off the couch and to the polls he’d cancel out my vote.
Bring me another bottle…or better, bring me some whiskey flavored dip…
Glanton: You bastard, you screwed my buzz!! It’s friday evening!!!Come back and be serious and shit on Monday.
How many fucking videos can he fucking make where all he does is say fuck and shit and fucking dips some flavored shit?! Apparently way too fucking many. And his guitar “playing” sucks. And under-educated people don’t have to be racist and poor people don’t have to be ignorant. The use of the n word and the confederate flag were the frosting on the shit sandwich for me.
Check out the classic jam, “dipin before i got to bed”. He shows off his new prescription for anti-psychotics at 1:14! Good times.
oh MY god. Inbred, cross-eyed, and obese is no way to go through life son.
It’s a nice sentiment, but… all men are NOT created equal
No worries. See all that crap on the stove? This guy dies in a kitchen fire 3 minutes after he posts the video.
This will get lost in this long line of comments, but the only thing I can think of is a South Park episode… “They took r jobz”
This guy is so boorish!
Glanton: If he were rich, he’d be Senator Schkoalvo(R-KY).
Now who can argue with that? I think we’re all in debt to ‘Skoalrebel’ for stating what needed to be said . . .Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age. (Thanks Mel).
I can’t stop watching his other videos.
Today we are all skoal rebels!
In “going for my permit today and dippin” skoalrebel muses about how it’ll be “like his 10th time” taking his driving permit test, some toothless dog that barks at him, and of course, dip.
How can Obama survive that devastating critique?
By any chance is this the kid that crazy lady from the primary who was yelling about “inadequate black man” gave for adoption?
Happier times for our now-pissed-off hero: free dip a whole five can roll of grizz str8
slappypaddy: Palin Slash This Guy in 2012!
Skoalrebel from Edmonton Kentucky, which according to the 2000 census, the median household income was just over 18,000 and over 31% live below the poverty line. So hopey(or n****r/jew) gives this dude a 800.00 tax cut and wants more people to have healthcare, signs a bill allowing guns in national parks and hes the worst president ever?? Yup appalachian inbreds, keep voting against your own ecomonic interests, maybe 50-75% percent of ya can live below the poverty line in another generation.
If this deliverance extra ever did try to get a match on eharmony I definetly dont want to see Ms. Skoalrebel.
Someone pleeease get him a Lightsaber.
I almost puked like 5 times watching the whole thing.
Leaf mah boy ahlone! Ur crusifixn him lak u did Britnee when she wuz under tha stress a few years ago. At least he is bein tru and not wearin a wig wif a fake Muslin accent!!!11!!
I think we’re witnessing a Rain Man level of autistic intelligence here. I know I wouldn’t be able to organize 187 videos purely based on the type of chewing tobacco I was experimenting with at the time. Someone put this kid on a bus down to Huntsville, NASA needs him…
So THAT’s the guy that does Boomhauer’s voice on King of the Hill!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3C_wLCZ18M
Looks like my favorite youtube channel just done jumped the shark.
Y’all are actually seeking out and WATCHING, of your own volition, this turd-tard’s music videos and so on? What, this excruciating display wasn’t ENOUGH for you? This lifestyle(/form) is a REVELATION to you? As though they’re not out there every single goddam day, rocking themselves back and forth as they sit at bus stops, wheeling stolen grocery carts full of cheap beer and store-brand chips and opened packages of beef jerky down the sidewalks, perusing guns and cubic-zirconium jewelry at the pawn shop, struggling to haul their whale-like bodies through the Wal-Mart parking lots, smacking their kids in the Dollar General Store, staring gape-mouthed at anyone not wearing a gimme cap and overalls and aiming their 2nd-Amendment-by-God rifles at you from their rusty belching pickup trucks because you’ve still got your Obama bumper sticker on your Toyota? Are you saying this sort of display isn’t COMMON, EVERYDAY HUMAN BEHAVIOR in your snooty-patooty corners of this great nation? You are? Really? God, can I come live with you’uns?! PLEEZE?!! PLEEEZE!!
Click: Note to self: do NOT kill someone whose job it is to keep track of EVERY HOUSE HE’S BEEN TO and NOT destroy said record. Better luck next time rednecks.
Suds McKenzie: so true.
Inpeach Obama!
is it me, or does he actually get MORE coherent and intelligable after shoving his face fulla dip?
Here’s his, excuse me, ‘Mr. Superman’s’ myspace page.
he has a “racing mower”…
Ha ha ha ha ha! His occupation is listed as “certified sex machine” HAAAAAAA ha ha ha ha ha ha…
GreatOldOnesParty: wait. that was in his favorites. nm.
Smoke Filled Roommate: The number one song on his playlist is by…CREEEEEDD?!
At his first rally with Joe Plumber we’ll learn he’s only 10 years old.
Oh lawls! I do declare I’m getting the vapors!
Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll succumb to that case of consumption he’s working on.
Glanton: Oh, looky everybody! A (probably) rich (probably) white liberal overcome with guilt! He’s like the polar opposite of Stank Breath McGee in that video up yonder. Which, by the way, I could only watch about 50 seconds of because Holy Shit I hate poor people! Just like Glanton does, except that I’m more than willing to admit it, instead of projecting my deepest prejudices unto others, anonymously, on the internet, like a pussy.
Bufford T. Justice: This guy looks a lot like Private Pyle and in “Full Metal Jacket” Private Pyle never got the chance to hump on down to the Perfume River after nailing his name in the pages of history so these videos might be like SkoalRebel’s version of nailing his name in the pages of history and we’ve helped.
I’m 12 years old and what is this?
shadowMark: If only he’d check out with an M-14 lead snack as well.
Apparently , he doesn’t have the sophistication of a Copenhagen man. They say “negro” and their shirts look like they were washed 5 days ago instead of 30.
Scruffy_The_Janitor: Well Said
Some of the best comments ever. Thanks.
People on The YouTube are giving him a tongue lashing.
His friend posted this message 8 months ago: “My Grandpa and Grandma both chewed snuff,or tobacco, and both went to heaven when they died.”
Really? I mean. Really? Is this what the internets have come to?
Note to self: Avoid Kentucky at all costs
Cheney Guevara: Ah, but it wasn’t actually a simple labeling of Obama’s heritage. (Jew??) It was more along the lines of a “socialist/communist/nazi/marxist/librul/homo” string of the worst possible epithets you could spew at someone, at least according to this pumpkinhead: nigger and jew.
I’m thinking one would be well-advised to slip on a pair of diphthongs before walking across this gent’s shotgunshack floor. (thanks Lazy Media)
Tundra Grifter: Does it also say, “Shake well before inserting in vagina”?
What no grammaw yellin from the porch?
I guess it was Cletus’s day to clean the house.
Is this the Trig Palin of Christmas Future?
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=95712634&albumID=704938&imageID=2166969
He’s bald because he has cancer and is going through chemo. I bet you all feel horrible now, don’t you?
Bufford T. Justice: Of course, when it’s revealed that he actually has cystic fibrosis we’re all going to feel like complete shit.
freeatlast: Does he have health insurance? If he does, is it perhaps gov’t run?
My schadenfreude needs to know!
Smoke Filled Roommate: You are an asshole for linking to that. Thank you.
I didn’t know Ricky from Trailer Park Boys had a youtube account.
When skoalrebel sees all those negative YouTube comments he’s gonna be so inbarrassed.
freeatlast: Cancer, huh? Guesses in order of likelihood:
1) oral
2) lung
3) stomach
4) esophagus
springfield_meltdown: Agreed. Upon further review it appears to be a PBR overdose with a possible chaser of some raw green homegrown.
freeatlast: chemo? aint medicinals aginst teh Buyble in Kennetuck?
freeatlast: If he survives, I think it’s safe to say we’re going to be hearing from him again someday and not in a good way.
freeatlast: I know the first thing I do when the doc tells me I have cancer is grab a big ol’ hunk of Red Man and stuff it into my slacked jaw.
Click: freeatlast: I dunno, it sorta balances out all the nice people in the world who get horrible diseases, no? I kinda wish everyone like this would get the cancer, and let it leave my fucking friends alone. Glanton, does that make me a bad librul?
I was watching this video at work when my boss asked me if I could come in tomorrow… I think I’ll spend half the day transcribing this. I think the hearing impaired would get just as much of a kick out of this that we are.
Glanton: Poor and stupid are two very, very different things. If any poor person in Kentucky or West Virginia wants to go to college, here’s the ticket:
http://www.berea.edu/about
I don’t think they have a class in how not to be a bigot, however.
I don’t know if anyone has said this but..
My problem with Bubba here is not that he is fat, poor, probably lacks hygene…that goes without saying…my problem is that he’s the type
who thinks he deserves a lot of things, like prastatu’ion, without having to work for any of it
Tundra Grifter: As Mr. Ron White has famously noted, the difference between poor and stupid is that you can’t fix stupid.
Famous Glanton’s: 1. A 19th century hired gun for the Mexican government whose assignment was to massacre Apaches. He and his posse got out of control and started wasting any and everybody, until some Quechan Indians killed them. He figures in a Cormac McCarthy novel. 2. Black Republican political associate of Dick Thornburgh of Pennsylvania who is now the head of a broadcasting group in Philadelphia. 3. Is there much of a difference between 1 and 2? (This will be a study question in Peggy Noonan’s class.)
RobertP: I knew he was from Kentucky from the screen grab. I give up.
Smoke Filled Roommate: Jesus Christ, the guy’s got SIX HUNDRED EIGHTY-THREE MySpace friends.
Not to mention Glanton.
I love the inspired way he starts his video, hawking up a huge wet cough. Movie magic.
BobTheBuilder: Movie magic —
1) REC
2) Blair Witch Project
3) Whatever the fuck this video is
4) Cloverfield
Whatever the fuck this video is I liked it better than Cloverfield but less than the Blair Witch Project.
Someone needs to take his Copenhagen away if he’s going to use Skoal in his screen name. Those two things are as different as George Jones and Travis Tritt, or Alabama and Auburn.
slappypaddy: Wow, slappypaddy, I think I love you.
One hundred eighty-four youtube videos on hatin Obama and lovin dip? Too much time on his hands.
Someone buy this guy a gift certificate to the University of Pheonix. Someday, he too can burst into flames…
Best youtube comment:
“thischild was left behind”
freeatlast: not really. i figure the cancer is his punishment for using the word nigger so much.
Guppy06: I would have gone with ” Bring me Skoal and a cookie” and then seen if anyone figured it out.
Smoke Filled Roommate: that’s the worst myspace page in teh history of myspace pages
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t858-16FRdc&feature=channel
This one doesn’t make quite a political stand, but he jams half a can of that crap into his mouth, can’t keep it in there, and someone keeps smacking him with a flyswatter
Y’all didn’t grow up in TX obviously if you didn’t know what the “whap, whap, whap” was.
Only candy asses (sorry dated myself) dipped anything other than Copenhagen. The Skoal users were considered wimps but still part of the club. But FLAVORED DIP was for complete pansies!!!!!
Even in the rich well healed neighborhoods of Houston we had a few of these. Though somebody of this guy’s intellectual status could have only come from the “real” south.
(It’s true, Texas ain’t a part of the south, course then the south ain’t Texas either, I guess that’s a good thing?)
Glanton/Denby 2012! (though it must be said that banning snark is fuckin’ gay)
Yep. There’s a big dip involved here.
AnnieGetYourFun: He’s got indoor chairs that double as lawn furniture. What more could you ask for?
Let the EEEEEEGLE SO-O-O-O-AAAR…
Like it’s never SOO-OOO-AAAA-AAA-RRED BEE-FOOOAAAARRRREEEE!!!!
Excellent! Can we begin the Obama Terror now? And round up these class enemies and exterminate them now? Please?
This is so focking depressing. I just finished telling my Glenn Beck watching, Palin supporting, gay marriage abhorring, teabagger of a Grandmother over cocktails about how my generation (the 18-25 year old youngs) don’t care about race, sexuality, abortion, or any of the social issues the Republicans have won on in the past, and how basically conservatism is a dying ideology. And then I see this fat bastard. I just realized that we will never evolve past this. Americans will always be prejudiced and self-destructive. Americans will never follow in European footsteps and stop being such pubescent bitches. We’ll never grow out of religion, sexual repression, and self-centeredness. I’m moving to Sweden. And I’m taking the FIT trainer with me.
*doesn’t. Also, the one good thing about this video is that we have finally found a logical and coherent voice for the teabaggers/birthers/deathers. He is obviously a much better choice than Glenn Beck. He actually makes more sense. Also.
Glanton: I know plenty of poor people who didn’t go to college but they are not bigoted morons. You are just being a dick.
AnnieGetYourFun: Oy, not funny alla suttin:http://www.youtube.com/user/jessicaannjones#play/all/uploads-all/1/m6jEBfOrFDw
There will be spawn.
Ugh, link fail. Just finished reading the thread and someone else had already pointed the girlfriend out, anyway. She hurts my heart more than he does.
What is the symbol on his hand, please?
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=95712634&albumID=704938&imageID=2166969#a=704938&i=3169594
I am not smart enough to know these things.
These are the best comments ever.
How can you not be persuaded by that finely-articulated speech?
In my dream, skoalrebel was locked in a room with Lady Noonington to discuss the pros and cons of Hopey.
In one video he says Im fuckin pissed and in anothe he says im fuckin happy and i cant tell the diff
I have made a tribute to SkoalRebel, true American, using the pictures from his MySpace page. This is the most important movie you have ever seen.
http://s691.photobucket.com/albums/vv276/wonkettribute/?action=view¤t=ATributetoSkoalRebel-Large.flv
note to all the kaintucks and others similars: if’n you doan wanna have the fun bein made a-you-alls on the internets, doan be makin fools a-yersells on the same an such. you do know what a fool is, doncha? well, go look in the mirra, it’s that thing over the bathroom sink where you kin see everthang in the bathroom, only backerds.
note to all the supercilious libtards: someone has to do the dirty work. carry on.
Worst. Chickenfucker. Ever.
Let me guess, Clat County, right? I’d know that jive anywhere!
One more time ( must have been that Harvard journalism course)
Let me guess, Clay County, right? I know that jive anywhere.
loquaciousmusic: A beautiful tribute to a beautiful ‘Merkin. The Smiths soundtrack was a lovely touch, really complimented the soulful/misunderstood nature of skoalrebel.
Ye Olde Fap-Smith: Thanks, Fappy. While I was standing in the shower this morning, it came to me: when Morrissey wrote that song, he was writing about SkoalRebel.
comicbookguy: What a truly unpleasant image you have conjured up on a Saturday morning.
I was just listening to an NPR story about people who object to the Orthodox Jewish practice of Kapparot (i.e. waving a chicken around over your head in an attempt to transfer you sins to the chicken). I guess those chickens have it easy compared to the ones who live near Skoalrebel’s trailer.
The Dancing Israelis of 9/11 in NYC
now demand
The United States start & fight more wars for Israel.
Ventura Sheehan Perot Paul Nader McKinney Kucinich Kaptur Gravel Gonzalez Clemente Choate Carter Baldwin Anderson
Arguing with you, sir, would be like arguing with a dining room table. A dining room table heavily laden with fast food, Hot Pockets, Vienna sausages, PBR beer and Skoal and dirty socks.
loquaciousmusic: you win today’s special webby award.
loquaciousmusic: Speechless.
loquaciousmusic: Fucking Brilliant.
Also, that’s a Star of David on his hand, albeit, misaligned. He was probably trying to draw it while looking in a mirror. I know, I know. This seems like a contradiction, but he’s more complex than he leads on. He smokes Kool cigarettes. Also.
I just keep coming back for more. It really is the gift that keeps on giving. His girlfriend’s Insecurities & Beauty VLOG is precious.
I’m not so sure he’s as stupid as he looks. When he declares that he’d make prostitution legal (5:26), he clarifies: “I’d definitely make prostitution legal. NOT ILLEGAL. LEGAL.” This is surely self awareness. He can appreciate that the average viewer can’t tell the difference between his pronunciation of the two words due to that big dip that he’s sucking on and the bag of marbles tucked just under his tongue.
Holy fuck. When I looked at the YouTube video last night there were about 800 views. Now there are 45k! Let’s just hope that he keeps on huffing long enough to allow more people the opportunity to see that ignorance is still alive and well…but currently distracted with dippin.
Reminds me of this great Onion story:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28559
loquaciousmusic: For the record, I haven’t watched the original youtube video because I try to avoid things that I know are going to make me want to die, but this stirring tribute of made me realize something awful. I feel sympathy for this creature and this is why, no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to give up on the god forsaken land of my birth. He is just a sad excuse for a human being and cannot be happy. Although, no one in eky is happy. It is the most depressed area of the county, and really for good reason. I just want to smack him upside the head and read him a book and take him to the dentist. And this is why my life will be wasted and miserable.
King of the Dipshits: I was just posting the shit out of that on FB. What the fuck is with religious people?
loquaciousmusic: A beautiful and moving tribute to a face that’s launched a thousand spits.
This guy is a class A jerk. He was my professor in my “Exchange Rates and International Capital Markets” class at Yale. He gave me a B because I wouldn’t buy into his elitist tirades. Smart people can be such assholes sometimes. And another thing, just because your tenured, its no reason to dress like a slob. It just pisses me off man.
This here fella is in a house trailer - I mean - who has a stove right behind him as he posts? Amirite?
Ok I’ll admit I could not watch beyond the first 41 seconds.
But I will say this guy is a winner!
I think if Glenn Beck can have a show, this guy should too.
How about: “Trailer Trash Matters” for the title?
I love that his stove probably does not work (or maybe he can’t afford to get the propane tank refilled), and he is now using it as a desktop.
That may be a major cause of burnt-to-the-ground trailer house fires.
His compelling & down home banter are a perfect compliment to the Beck hate forum.
He may appeal to the whole meth head/hillbilly demographic the FOX network has been missing!
OffTheRecord: I just want to … take him to the dentist
Yet the pygmies appeared relaxed now—at least until Amy came crashing back through the underbrush. Then there were shouts and swiftly drawn bows; Amy was terrified and ran to Peter, jumping up on him and clutching his chest—and making him thoroughly muddy.
The pygmies engaged in a lively discussion among themselves, trying to decide what Amy’s arrival meant. Several questions were asked of Munro. Finally, Elliot set Amy back down on the ground and said to Munro, “What did you tell them?”
“They wanted to know if the gorilla was yours, and I said yes. They wanted to know if the gorilla was female, and I said yes. They wanted to know if you had relations with the gorilla; I said no. They said that was good, that you should not become too attached to the gorilla, because that would cause you pain.”
“Why pain?”
“They said when the gorilla grows up, she will either run away into the forest and break your heart or kill you.”
– “Congo,” Michael Crichton
loquaciousmusic: Stunningly poignant.
Why isn’t this charming Gentleman married?
Prommie: As for the car on blocks, I’d guess a Camaro, or a Trans-Am. Generically-speaking, it’s a Trans-Camaro. I get my information here:
http://www.drbukk.com/gmhom/park.html
AnnieGetYourFun: No shit. How does something like that even start; it doesn’t make any sense. First of all it would take a much bigger bird if you are going to have any chance of transferring a whole years worth of sin - I’m thinking an albatross or perhaps condor but they would probably really mess you up if you grabbed them by the wings and started waiving them over your head.
Jim89048:
…the thoughtful placement of ‘found objects’ such as matched grocery carts, yard appliances and an exercise machine evokes that majestic sensation. Vandals and thieves take heed! There are five dogs chained up in strategic places, along with 25 cats who amazingly, all looked exactly alike! The camera couldn’t capture the love of animals that permeated the atmosphere. Truly, this home has earned the title, a Great Mobile Home of Mississippi.
I’m going to be thinking of “yard appliances” all weekend now.
loquaciousmusic: An inspired work of true genius, like Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind/Goodbye English Rose” video. Now if only SkoalRebel’s life were to be tragically cut short it would be perfect.
Jeebus H. Copenhagen Christ!
Exactly what, Dippity Douchebag, do you have to lose? You have absolutely nothing that anyone (including the gubmint) wants.
Now, put another whiskey dip in yer trash can mouth and go back to rimming yer mutt.
shadowMark: Back when the intarwebz were still new, and so was my 1st digital camera, I sent them a picture and it got published! It’s on this page, the one from CA:
http://www.drbukk.com/gmhom/other.html
My first shot at fame, and here I am all these years later wishing I could be skoalrebel…
Jim89048: The anasazi trailer park is my favorite.
Jim89048: You’re making me want to go find my BillyBob Teef and wear them around the house for a bit..
Glanton: We’re laughing at stupid people, not poor people.
Is this guy featured on RedState as a Common Sense American Hero yet?
He definitely qualifies as the next asshole to represent conservatards following Joe Wilson.
Next teabagger sign:
SKOALREBEL IS RIGHT!!
Skoalrebel anagram: Bleak Loser! Wow, this is just starting to depress me now..
This charming gentleman represents the Republicans’ entire remaining base. They should run this as a campaign ad for 2010.
Jim89048: Your next shot at fame–the one that will pay off–is when you hook up with filmmaker Werner Herzog. Those pictures are a Werner Herzog film just waiting to happen. Maybe even a Herzog trilogy. Get Final Draft and do the screenplay(s). I hear Mischa Barton is out of work again. I would make her SkoalRebel’s obscure object of desire. Who should play SkoalRebel? That could be the next big Hollywood scramble.
shadowMark: I might just go with the more readily available talents of loquaciousmusic: , whose photo montage made me laugh ’til I cried, as if I had any tears left after viewing skoalrebel’s original work…
Smoke Filled Roommate: Depress you? SkoalRebel’s thread is still happening after more than 382 posts and Peggy Noonan’s thread has bogged down at 85. This is better than Meghan beating Beck. This is a happyface time and not an ironic Watchmen kind of happyface with blood on it. Well, maybe a happyface with tobacco spit on it but not ironic tobacco spit.
Glanton: So intolerant!
Jeez, I am totally late to the party.
I made it to 3.44, but those weird faces he made cramming snuff in his mouth were too much. LOVE the comments on his youtube page, especially the guy who wrote:
God that’s hot.
Shove more of that chew in your mouth, baby.
Oh yeah, mooore.
GOD YES SHOW ME YOUR SPITOON
Too funny! Oh, and Come Back, Glanton! Did we scare ya?
Someone please alert skoalrebel to the existence of porntube. I imagine he & his ladyfriend could cook up some hot Kentucky love for our viewing pleasure. Copenhagen as sexual enhancement device.
Much as I’d love to hang around and help push this thread to the 1K comments mark, it’s time to head off to the Harvest Festival of Deep-Fried Foods and Dirt Track Racing with the rest of the villagers. bbl
I know I had seen that picture before! It’s in the OED under the word “Inbred”
Glanton: My two grandfathers were both immigrants to rural Pennsylvania and uneducated; one worked as a bricklayer and the other as a coal miner — both non-union. They were SO POOR my father’s job as a child was to hike along the railroad tracks picking up coal that fell off trains — that’s what they used to heat their house. My mother’s job as a child was to wash clothes for the boarders her parents took in to meet the rent. But somehow both those families had enough brains to insist their children finish high school and get work. This second generation saved their union or military wages and insisted their children go to college.
How many generations do you think skoalrebel’s family has been in this country, where public education and public libraries are available, even in the former Confederacy? What do you suppose the reason is that he can’t take a shower, spit out the chaw, quit spewing profanity and racial invectives, and act like an adult human? It’s not as if he’s totally stupid — he knows how to record videos and post them on the Internet. He’s got enough money to buy a camera, a computer, chewing tobacco, food, and rebel flags.
Awwww, he’s poor. Boo hoo. That gives him the right to call our president a “nigger/Jew”? That gives him the right to feel repressed because prostitution is illegal? That gives him the right to claim he’s a “real American” and the person who regulates tobacco sales is not?
Skoalrebel is a fail, but you, Glanton, are an epic fail.
Perhaps he should use a funnel to more efficiently cram tobacco into his mouth. Always worked for me!
I have written to Hero Builders and requested that they begin manufacturing a Skoalrebel Action Figure. I would pay up to $3.95 for such a thing.
Jukesgrrl: Well said. Win.
Flavoured oxycontin is still available, right?
Just give him the country!
I agree that his race-baiting is a Freudian Slip, but think you are all missing the term “nigger/Jew”. He’s not talking about about racismz, he’s talking about “SLASH”. He just wants to see some good ole Blacks-on-Jews pr0n!
Preferably anything with Naomi Russell, Kelly Devine or Daphne Rosen.
However, his redneck ethnicity won’t let him acually express these urges so he takes out his frustrations on teh Preznit.
Full. Frontal. Stupidity.
The girlfriend appears to have gone, sort of; her Myface reveals that her current love has two babies and she’s sooo happy just keeping house. Skoalrebel’s says that no girl will go out with him, he doesn’t know why, and it’s pissing him off.
@3:13 of his “100 subs” video — in which Our Hero packs a whole can of dip whilst grunting objections to being fly-swatted and flicked at with a lighter — is the deathless line “Ah unnaa mo uh the fuckin dennis there’s suhin rong wi mah fuckin tuuuth.”
Glanton, this critter is able to vote.
GreatOldOnesParty: So–just for instance, to illustrate the concept–we’d have Barbra Streisand dressed as Captain Kirk and Barack Obama as Lt. Uhura.
Barbra/Kirk: Lt. Uhura, open a hailing frequency and… Say, you are looking ravishing today.
Obama/Uhura: Captain, please, we’re on the bridge.
(Barbra/Kirk crosses to Obama/Uhura)
Barbra/Kirk: I don’t care who knows. I can’t hide my feelings any longer.
(Barbra/Kirk kneels and buries her head between Obama/Kirk’s legs and under his scarlet dress.)
(Spock pointedly stares into his science viewer. Chekov and Sulu pointedly stare ahead at the main screen. Scotty openly stares at Barbra/Kirk and Obama/Uhura, a big engineer smile on his face.)
– Something like that? Or is that too Trekkie?
shadowMark: Oops. I was…enjoying…typing that too much and messed up the final stage direction. Should read:
(Barbra/Kirk kneels and buries her head between Obama/Uhura’s legs and under his scarlet dress.)
notwavingbutdrowning: Boy do I hate to be such a lurking troll. And let it be said that I don’t buy Glanton’s argument that poverty is being mocked here. But your use of “moral relativism” betrays a complete lack of understanding of what it is, and I have no idea how it could possibly describe what Glanton is saying. In order to prevent you (a nice seeming person) from embarrassment when you use it in real conversation, here is a primer: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/moral-relativism/
Trigg! You are all growed up!
Glanton: I guess your feelings about this are going to depend on whether you think our friend Skoalrebel has the ability to be other than the way he is. Whether free will is possible. I am not sure. As to humor, I find nothing about the video lolworthy other than the narcoleptic behavior. But it does not follow from my lack of amusement that those who are amused are morally flawed. They just think he talks funny and is cartoonishly stupid. A video of a very rich celebrity talking stupid would inspire laughter in these same people, so the explanation of reaction as classist doesn’t seem plausible.
By the way, here’s a privileged person being filthy and talking stupid!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyF1BVHABoI
BrownPenance: I love filthy stupid celebrities. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onqZv-w707I
Jukesgrrl: You go grrrl!
g00gander: No one with Down Syndrome is that hateful.
BrownPenance: Non Sequitur.
shadowMark: slashy. VERY slashy.
Jukesgrrl: well put.
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
I am so glad that you guys identified him as a Kentuckian. I was worried that this was his first commercial, and that he was going to run for Governor of Oklahoma. He’d have a good chance of winning, you know…
BrownPenance: wavingnotdrowning was referring to the fact that Skoalrebel would consider it moral to have sex with his relatives. Try to keep up.
Jukesgrrl: great rant!
timmy_the_tooth: Guy can’t even play power chords worth anything. 2 things: camera position and editing?
He didn’t say anything about healthcare reform. Will he need a public option when he has to get surgery for his mouth cancer?
“Dixie Classics”, his t shirt proudly proclaims–=he is indeed that, and so much more
I just pray that when he stands up for what he believes in, he doesn’t kick over his ‘mud bucket’
——wait, Obama is banning Cope Whiskey dip?? Sheeeeeit now aahm piss off too!!!!
Click: WIN! Thank you. Brownie was really starting to bring the conversation down (up?)
Glanton: The England Lowland planters abused the freedom-lovin’ Ulster Scots-Irish so much, they lit out across the Catoctins, the Blue Ridge, through the Cumberland Gap and settled into the hollers of Western Virginia and Kentucky…they had to kill many Tuscaroras, Monacan, and Cherokee, so their progeny’s progeny’s progeny could live in squalor, just like they did back in their peaty holes in Killyclogher, Ballygawley, and Loughmacrory. They were the sepoys and vanguard for the conquest and settlement of the near “beyond the pale” frontier in the Eastern United States. And stayed there. And became consumers of Hot Pockets and flavored snuff.
Here’s a quote from 1844 , by John L. “Manifest Destiny” O’Sullivan about Kentucky:
Curiosity is natural to the soul of man, and interesting objects have a powerful influence on our affections. Lo these influencing powers actuate, by the permission or disposal of Providence, from selfish or social views, yet in time the mysterious will of Heaven is unfolded ….Thus we behold Kentucky, lately a howling wilderness … become a fruitful field; this region, so favorably distinguished by nature, now become the habitation of civilization….We behold the foundations of cities laid, that, in all probability, will equal the glory of the greatest on earth.
O’Sully would probably want to reconsider his opinion on the Kentucky Project, on seeing this young lad, so full of promise and vigor.
You really think this mouth breather (or his contemporaries) would care for any idea of social uplift? These Ulster descendants just want to be left alone in their isolation and squalor, free of entanglements with anything resembling a central authority (benevolent or otherwise). These are the descendants of the assholes that Washington had to bring up short in the Whiskey and Shay’s Rebellion in Pennsylvania, just as the country was getting started and was in jeopardy of destruction.
If Young Racialist Kentuckian had a brain in his head and the aptitude, he’d qualify for what would have to be his dream job:
U.S. Smokeless Tobacco Co. - Undergraduate Intern Brand Management
• Assist in development of marketing programs.
• Execute promotional plans, product, packaging, and point of sale materials.
• Advise Brand Manager of competitive activities and marketing trends.
• Provide day to day direction to agency and cross-functional partners on project basis.
• Analyze business results/program results and makes recommendations for future plans.
• Analyze competitive marketplace trends and makes recommendations on actions to address them.
With all his ingenious blending of various snuff and chaw stuffed in his gob, he’d be a natural!
But, alas…
Has anyone noted that Obama hasn’t actually “outlawd” flavored snuff? He signed a bill, passed by Congress, that creates FDA regulation of tobacco products, under which the FDA this week started a ban on candy and fruit flavored *cigarettes* aimed at children. As yet, there is no ban on whiskey flavored Copenhagen dip.
Speaking of dips … over 180 YouTubes? Recorded from a lawn chair in front of a non functioning stove in a camper kitchen? He is not an inbred mouthbreather, he is the Appalachian Andy Kaufman! People … this is performance art!
Oh Lord have mercy. I’m never admitting to having been born in Kentucky ever again.
schvitzatura:
Very well done. *applauds and raises beer*
interesting objects have a powerful influence on our affections.
Hence TruckNutz.
The Jindal/skoalrebel tickit will pwwwn you stupid moran libz reel good in 2012!!11!!1
Gaaaah! He skates! I’d like to see him down at my Negro-Jew infested local park so we can run his ass over like the poseur he undoubtedly is.
my life goal is to get ALL the dip
lulzmonger: well, no one has ever seen skoalrebel and bobby jindal together at the same time, in one place, so that might be problematic.
and
MFAWG:
yeah I seriously doubt he actually skates.
and Bill Saffire is dead. not a good week for the old conservatives, eh?
Crank Tango: Dammit! He was the one ex-Nixon speechwriter who managed to redeem himself subsequently. I used to read “On Language” religiously, when the NYT was my local paper. Now it costs something like $4.75 an issue for remote delivery, so screw ‘em.
Unlike most other old dead white conservatives, Safire was occasionally useful and entertaining. I will shed no eagle tears for him though.
jasper f. krone: yeah I used to read it a lot too–you can read it online on the NYT site tho, but I confess it has really bored the crap out of me in recent years, so I usually just read “the ethicist” and whatever else in the magazine that looks good.
I wonder: are we fighting for access to health care for this man? Not that I will stop fighting for health care, assuming that this is the case.
But it would be so fucking ironic.
octupletsmom: Yes. And yes.
octupletsmom: No, he’ll be dumb enough to try think the public (free) plan is a conspiracy to vaccinate him with pig aids. He’ll also hide from the census. Win, win!
octupletsmom: In 10-15 years someone’s gonna have to step up and do something about his bypass surgery and lip and mouth cancer.
King of the Dipshits: ZOMG (so to speak) was not that NPR chicken story creepy? Chickens dying, in New York City, for the sins of 21st century New Yorkers? Not chickens being sacrificed in a primitive jungle society in a third-world country. Chickens being sacrificed–to die for someone’s sins!–on a NYC sidewalk!
Take those people and drop them deep in a plaguey jungle, out of sight of civilized people like, say, myself. Please.
Nobama needs to fuckin bring back Arrested Development. Fuckin gay as HELL!
loquaciousmusic: That was almost . . . poignant. (Damn you Morrissey for your capacity to evoke sympathy in the midst of our derision!)
Cowboys can no longer buy Vanilla and Strawberry Long Cut Skoal? Gay as hell! What will big brother do next to emasculate our population, ban rainbows?
spencer: I’ve done some research and I found you can buy edible underwear ( “the more you lick the better they taste” ) in ten flavors, cherry, chocolate, forbidden fruit, mint, passion fruit, pina colada, pink champagne, strawberry champagne, strawberry chocolate and vanilla but not in tobacco flavor.
Is this what the elites call a “market inefficiency?”
So I sent our retarded a friend an youtube message. I told him his username was lame, and gave him some suggestions:
* Powerskids
* ViolentFart
* …And you will know me by the Trail of Dip Spit Cups
* Blarrggh Cffggh Arghhkckkckk
* zZxenophobicrazorxD
* MyMouthNeedstoDie
“I’m not showin’ a Nazi sign….”
::time passes::
“He’s a Nigger/Jew…….”
Cognitive Dissonance?
Come here a minute:
Yeah, but banning them is apparently even more gay. Who knew?
On the up side, we can see a little evolution in process here. Note the unusually small aperture where a mouth would be. In a few generations, this individual’s offspring are likely to have no mouth at all. They’ll simply have a dimple where the hole used to be. Makes feeding difficult. Suspect we’re looking at something pretty close to the end of the line.
Jukesgrrl: well said.
schvitzatura: Also, Kan-tuk-kee, the “dark and bloody ground.” These are my ancestors. Fortunately some of them managed to get the hell out of the hollows and backwoods and mines and the shallow fucking end of the gene pool. (Some of them married Cherokees. Biodiversity is a good thing.) Thanks to goddamn gubberment programs like public schools and the GI Bill. And thanks to goddamn socialist worker organizing interference in practices like child labor. Granddaughter of Wobblies. Woot.
BrownPenance: The SEP! Good Lord. Kudos on being more pedantic than I am. Did I send you a link to a glossary of literary terms so that you can read up on the categories of satire and comedy so as to better inform yourself of the difference between finding something funny versus finding something worthy of derision? No. Why? Because we are all half-assed smart-asses here. Join with me in being a moran.
Anyhoo, I stand by my use of the philosophical category of “bullshit.” It is my field of expertise.
MortSinclair: I guess Daddy Dipshit will just have to insert the tobacco up the poor thing’s ass..
notwavingbutdrowning: They are my people, too. The Depression sent them up the Ohio Valley looking for work, and eventually the war effort demanded a lot of rubber products so it paid off. Grandparents went back to Kentucky after retirement. Maybe that’s why I can’t give up deeyup, but not flavored, cuz that’s–well, you know…
Being a retard isn’t notable, hell our last President, his Vice President, Secretaries of State and Defense were all a couple of fries short of a happy meal. A dim witted racist red-neck is no more worthy of comment than a fart smelling liberal, but this chuckle head transcends all normal boundaries. When it comes to repulsive beliefs, speech and habits this guy is the individual for whom the phrase “Beyond the Pale” was invented. He appears to be a fusion of good ole boy, Boy George, Forrest Gump and Nathan Bedford Forrest rolled into a single snuff pinching package and the cherry on this ice cream sunday is he appears to have mastered the internets and the you-tubes. Amazing.
We need to get teams out into that God forsaken hellscape he calls home before that gerbil he’s, no doubt, got decomposing in his lower intestine goes septic and we loose this example of mans de-evolution back into the lower primates forever. The future of the Republican party might be at stake here!
Oh. My. God.
springfield_meltdown: Oh. My. God. Definately the meth. Look at the face.
Glanton: Nah. we laugh at rich people, too. Troller.
dijetlo: Skoalrebel is the new Ivory-Billed Woodpecker?
I hate to say it, but an Ivory-Billed Woodpecker could post a better vid than this cracker-slash-poo… I don’t know if an ivory-billed woodpecker can dip… but I’d give an ivory-billed woodpecker a dip…
(Ah, but how much dip would a woodpecker dip if a woodpecker could peck dip?)
boy_howdy: Yeah, but it would be mired in secrecy. Elvis, and all that. Anyway, birds are our superiors, and not to be taken lightly.
jasper f. krone: Therein lies the difference between birds and tards, and the proof of avian supremacy. Birds are the evolutionary remains of dinosaurs. Tards are the mortal remains of what was once the GOP.
GUYS
HEY GUYS
HE’S BACK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ONd3gpdkYM
I missed him.
skaboomizzy: I think he needs to get off the Seroquel..
first off the throat clearing in the beginning was deliciously sexay
secondly, (I am sure this has been asked before but) is he high, drunk or really just that retarded?
Lastly, there is no question that this mouth breather has or will breed and for that I am scared.
Thank God for the Electoral College!
His vocabulary is inpressive for an imbred. Imdeed it is.