Wonkette
You know who’s a badass? This guy, Dean Allen, Republican candidate for state adjutant general (oversees National Guard-y, emergency management stuff). Just look at the way he pulls that trigger on his AK-47!
Say there’s a flood somewhere in South Carolina, okay? Well Dean Allen will fucking shoot that fucking flood, as adjutant general. But he’ll have to get another gun to do it, because look at this: he’s giving away his AK-47 in a “raffle” at his campaign kickoff event this weekend. But the winner will have to go through a standard background check, because Dean Allen is very Responsible.
I hate to say it, but it would be pretty cool to unload a few rounds from an AK-47. Plus, bar-be-que!
Adjutant General? Do they also elect a Postmaster General? Isn’t the governor responsible for this stuff? Also, him shooting at a flood reminds me of a recent SyFy Channel movie where a moving black hole menaced St. Louis. When it approached some soldiers early on, the dumbfucks fired their weapons at it. Plot FAIL.
Fucking poser. If he was a real Republican, noone would get his weapon unless they pried it from his cold, dead hands.
Tommmcatt: Embrace your inner love for guns and barbecue. We’ve got plenty of both in Texas!
I hope he flashes that piece in front of Jesus, so that Jesus can take it away from him, stick it up his ass and pull the fucking trigger ’til it goes “click.”
hobospacejunkie: black hole vs. st louis = boring. black hole vs. S.C. = I’m decked out in my singularity gear, salivating for the trees to start stretching.
Semi automatic only? What’s the point?
Thanks Wonkette!
Whenever my wife is watching Househunters and says something like “when we retire we ought to look at the Carolinas”, I always have a handy set of bookmarks like this one to show her.
The place they are getting barbecue from is called the Hog Pen, which is also another way of saying South Carolina.
BTW, the remark about “10 minutes of training so you don’t accidentally shoot a right wing radical”, does this imply that it’s 10 minutes of training to shoot other types of people on purpose?
I think in some states, that would be a “terroristic threat”
For all you hippie peaceniks out there who hate and fear the military, let me explain that each state National Guard (comprised of Air Force and Army elements) has an Adjutant-General, usually a two-star, who is appointed by the goobernor, usually on recommendations of the NG, everywhere but fucking insane South Carolina, where they apparently elect the dude. The goobernor is titular head of each state Guard activity (or “commander-in-chief, as Snowbilly liked to call herself) but the AG is the day-to-day boss.
There was a mini-scandal within the Army a few years back where lots of state AGs didn’t meet Big Army’s standards (like having a college degree) for commissioned service, let alone flag rank.
Some of the foregoing is undoubtedly wrong.
Tommmcatt: Never did an AK, but the M-16 was some fun, even on the 25-meter range.
From Allen’s very own blog:
“If you’re down there trying to look at the people coming across the border, maybe a lot of them are just motivated by economics, and they want a job washing dishes or cutting grass. But I can’t tell Jose Cuervo from the Al Qaeda operatives by looking at them, because they cut their beard off. It’s like trying to get fly manure out of pepper without your glasses on, you know? I mean, not a racist thing, but they’re all brown with black hair and they don’t speak English and I don’t speak Arabic or Spanish, so if they don’t belong here and they don’t come here legally, I want to know who’s here… The illegal Hispanic population, it’s definitely growing…I can tell you just from how many you see when you walk in Wal-Mart, and you drive down the street and you see buildings now with writing in Spanish that says ‘tienda,’ which is Mexican for ‘store.’ You didn’t see that even a year or two ago.”
Vid says: “10 minutes of training (so you don’t shoot any right wing radicals by mistake)”
If I’m getting an AK-47, it’s for the express purpose of shooting right wing radicals. Shit, I’m wiretapped now, aren’t I?
This is why you shouldn’t elect a freaking military leader… SC is the most f-ed up place in the country I am now convinced.
The vid’s title “Machine Gun Social” sounds like a remake of “Steel Magnolias” gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I think if I ever shot a right-wing radical, it wouldn’t be ‘by mistake.’
If I ever have a rock band, I’m going to name it Machine Gun Social.
Just for the record, I believe he’s shooting an AR-15, not an AK-47, in the video. The DC snipers used an AR-15. I guess the SC sniper will use the AK-47 he wins in the raffle.
Mark my words, there will be many new little potential racists birthed in about 9 months from this Saturday in that pohdunk little town. Nothing gets the gonads fired up like BBQ and spent brass!
Machine Gun Social would be one helluva name for a rock band.
One Yield Regular: :-0 . Just friggin’ :-0 . Who ARE these people, and how do I get them off my planet?
One Yield Regular: He can’t tell Mexicans from Arabs just by looking (’cause they’re all Mexican), but he *can* determine someone’s immigration status, just by looking, at WalMart?
Dude needs some different eyes.
Scoops McGee: Yes. He’s Not firing an AK-47.
Now why would any patriot want to give away a Chinese made weapon? Huh?
Anyone who knows firearms knows that automatic weapons are for people who can’t shoot. In general, the safest place to be is right in front of them. Watching this guy twitch while he fires shows that he couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat (thank you, Bull Durham). Man up and use a single shot weapon, ya pussy. And now back to my chai latte and light arugula salad lunch while listening to NPR.
One Yield Regular: But he’s not a racist. Some time I’d like to get a definition of racism from one of these guys. If it’s something worse than what they are, I can’t even imagine what real racism might be.
Lucky2130: Min: “Helluva name for a rock band” would be a good name for a political fundraiser activity.
Take THAT, Lindsay Graham snuggle party/free dildo giveaway!!!!!!!!!
How much extra for the blowjob?
Sweet Jesus. The wingnuts have their own Facebook thingy, just for people who WRITE IN ALL CAPS, where they can outdo each other’s wingnuttery. Pure heaven. And Dean baby has his page here, oh yeah: http://www.tcunation.com/profile/DeanAllen
Why does he hate US Merika? Why not give away a gen-you-whine US Merika made AR-15 or M-16?
Buzz Feedback: Easily rectified. Trust me on this.
One Yield Regular: “I mean, not a racist thing, but they’re all brown …” wins the day.
One Yield Regular: What an asshole. First he tells me he doesn’t fucking know Spanish. Then he fucking tells me tienda means “store”. YOU LIE!
The slogan for this patriotic pig-out of BBQ’d bullets is: “Shoot first, ask for seconds later!”
“Music by Roger Buckner.” Does it get any more White KKKulture (thank you, Glum Bleek) that that?
That would put a meth freak to sleep - and they probably have one or two of those down there, as well.
One Yield Regular: Ha ha, at least the Mexicans “invading” Walmart don’t have mullets. These alien brown people would be a welcome relief from the usual Walmart shoppers. In the interest of full disclosure, I have been in a Walmark twice: once when my Dad (who didn’t know better) wanted to see if they had some socks and once when my sister (who should know better) wanted to go there for some cheap, useless item.
ericstoltz: I seriously think some of these people assume that if they’re not actually lynching minorities or dragging them behind pick-up trucks, then they’re not racists. That what I took away from David Brooks’ column last week, anyway.
Johnny Zhivago: what if we want to shoot right wing radicals on purpose? Because somebody is gonna have to sooner or later.
ericstoltz: Well, see, for them it’s not actually racism until there are crosses burning and people hanging from trees.
One Yield Regular: He’d be a lock for SC senate with that rant.
Min: I’ll be one of your groupies, or should I say “bluepies”!
AK-47? What kind Czech, Chineese, Russian? Bet it’s one of those cheapos they make in Pakistan. Don’t fall for it all AKs are NOT the same.
The Wal-Marts in northern MN are completely different. The time I ever see confederate flags (in Minnesota!) are decals on trucks parked in a Wal-Mart parking lot. I avoid the place like the plague but the few times I’ve walked in there, I swear I heard “Dueling Banjos” on Muzak, although it was almost drowned by the sound of all those polyester-clad thighs rubbing together.
— The sweepstakes is being held in conjunction with a “machine-gun social” at Allen Arms Indoor Shooting Range —
Followed by the hanging of a census taker.
norbizness: It depends which Jesus he flashes it at. Leafblower Jesus…meh. MS-13 Jesus? Now we’re talkin’!
Time to teach these assholes a lesson again. Somebody call William Tecumsah Sherman and tell him to get ready to march.
Shootin’ guns, drankin’ beer an eetin’ barbeque??!? This southerner just pitched a tent in his pants! Yee haw! Where do I sign up?
For $10 more, shoot the targets of Barry in a Hitler stash??
What a way for a teabagging fat slob to spend an afternoon, shove some pork ribs down your disgusting shit-eating pie hole, then gettin your chubby hands on a commie Kalashnikov firearm to fight commies takin the cuntry.
yellowdogdem: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=43
One Yield Regular: Congratulations, buddy! Ya jess won yerself an AK-47!
Most well-nuanced satire that I’ve read here in months—utterly, hilariously believable. (It was satire, right?)
Hell, I’m a liberal and I almost bought an AK-47 kit yesterday.
Why should only the crazy Republicans have all the weapons, y’know?
Then again these people do things like this: http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20090925/NEWS/909250328/0/BUSINESS/Pickens-County-woman-injured-trying-to-pet-bear
So it shouldn’t come as a complete surprise.
Scoops McGee: :::A-Hem:::
AKT-ually, the DC Snipers used a Bushmaster, which is a “clone” of the M16, but in semi-auto only.
In contrast, the “AR 15″ is the original version as designed by Eugene Stoner, and as initially issued to the US Air Force. It is different from the M16, or M16 clones such as the Bushmaster, in a number of ways, e.g., the AR does not have to Forward Assist; the rifling on the AR does not have a great a “twist” as the M16.
You can get a semi-auto M16 clone for around $900, depending on the juridiction. Full auto versions are illegal in many states, and you have to pay the federal licensing for machine guns. Also, a full auto M16 is much more expensive.
In contrast, a real AR-15, in good condition, is worth a lot more money, in part because they are much rarer.
Okay, back to the movie . . .
WOLVERIN . . . .
Oh.
Sorry.
[I know you were all waiting for the above. And would have been disappointed had I not helped out.]
One Yield Regular: It’s like trying to get fly manure out of pepper without your glasses on, you know?
Um, sorry, don’t. Fly shit=pepper :: Al Qaeda=Mexicans? What does this EVEN mean?
One Yield Regular: Sounds like Allen needs to get with the program and learn spanish.
He’d shit his pants in San Antonio.
I wouldn’t pay $25 for an AK-47, and I wouldn’t use one to shoot at anything I was actually trying to hit. LAME.
+1 on the AR-15 comments. That’s a much nicer machine.
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: You know, that gives me an idea.
If someone brought a bear to the next Rick Perry rally…
Pithaughn: As per my reply above.
user-of-owls: NO BRING THE BEAR!!!! Gunz + wildlife + grills for BBQ = disaster for the bear in South Carolina!!!
Oh wait– read past the the Rick Perry part, though it would certainly have the same outcome in TX, as well.
Right-wing gun terminology FAIL. They are offering a 20-round MAGAZINE to shoot, not a clip. A clip holds rounds which can then be fed into an internal magazine, like on the M-1 Garand. Jesus Christ, show some self respect, wingtards!
I was just about to ask where Neilist was, but duh.
greggvl: Was it a real, live, Soviet-made demilled parts kit? I have been looking for one of those with no luck. I collect Soviet small arms, and what I’d REALLY like is a full-auto AKM, but they are impossible to get, because of some silly Cold War-era ban. I’d settle for a demilled wall hanger, like the Ppsh submachine kit I have. You can buy crappy AK clones made by our ACTUAL enemies, but not collectible, historically interesting AKs made by a defunct one.
user-of-owls: OH! I GET IT!! I just saw the story of Rick Perry petting the reporter on the head. Sorry. A bit slow today.
Just semi-automatic rifles? That’s all they got? Sheeeet, any candidate looking for my vote needs to let me shoot off some RPGs and grenade launchers.
Johnny Zhivago: It’s not so bad here in North (and getting Norther by the day, thank god) Carolina. In fact, SC was put there so that we Tar Heels could have a convenient neighbor to mock.
ericstoltz: Apparently the conservatard FB has been infected with a Palinizing virus, as seen by the first comment on Mr. Allen’s wall:
Hi Dean, I remember you from Team Sarah, we were friends there also.
Neilist: I was just waiting to find out whether you would leave a comment before or after masturbating to the story. Judging by the time stamp, I’m assuming you left it after. (Not during, right?!)
Either way, props on the knowledge drop, sir, and for keeping the spirit of Dirty Dancing alive. Nobody puts you in the corner!
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: This is why when you read the instructions on a replacement fan belt it starts by saying “SHUT OFF ENGINE”.
Extemporanus: What kills me is that not only did he say it (and somehow managed to be quoted by the New Yorker), but that he felt proud enough about it to actually post it on his blog.
Also, if by “Greeenville” he was attempting the Southern phonetic spelling, he blew it. It should be “Greeenveeeull.”
Extemporanus: Before, Ex. Always before. That way it doesn’t get all over the other . . . weapon.
Gun-toting Progressive: He’s using one of the 30-round (Guaranteed To Jam) magazines in the second clip. Not a 20. Just sayin’.
Extemporanus: Before, Ex. Always before. That way it doesn’t get all over the other . . . weapon.
How many is he giving away? Are they made in China?
Johnny Zhivago: Go to Thailand or some place cheap and far from the USA.
Hopey dont play that game: Taiwan wants to sell off a bunch of elderly M1s, former military aid to Chiang Kai-shek.
One Yield Regular: Seriously, was that satire. I have neither the patience nor the stomach to look up his blog, if it does, indeed, exist somewhere on the fringes of this series of tubes.
LowerdPeninsula: I only *wish* that was satire:
http://www.campaignsitebuilder.com/templates/displayfiles/tmpl56.asp?siteid=2659&pageid=49266&trial=false&blogid=4613
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/12/17/071217fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=all
One Yield Regular: Gah. Ugh. I genuinely have nothing to say.
As a South Carolinian, let me just say — I am so embarrassed. I am so very embarrassed. It has been a horrible summer for those from our state, and it promises to continue, our politicians not having had access to public health care to fund the brain transplants that they so desperately need. At the beginning of the Civil War our last really witty politician, James Petigru, remarked that South Carolina is too small to be a Republic and too large to be an insane asylum. Clearly he was wrong, so wrong. Here we are, a giant insane asylum. I am waiting for the rest of the country to realize this and provide appropriate medications through the drinking water to prevent us from further embarrassing the entire country. I’m sorry, truly sorry, for the stupidity, ignorance, boorishness (if Noonan hasn’t called Joe Wilson a boor she clearly doesn’t know one when she sees him), and gutter morals to which my home state has exposed the world.
The AK-47 is a Communist made weapon. How un-American ! This is just more GOP Conservative buffoonery and short-sightedness.