Wonkette
By the Comics Curmudgeon
If Carl Jung were alive today, he’d see political cartoons as a shortcut into our collective subconscious. Those brave few Americans who continue to read newspapers have the honor or seeing the darkest, foulest recesses of the human mind barfed out daily onto editorial pages everywhere. In order to fulfill their appointed role of shocking a jaded nation, the cartoonists select only the most depraved, taboo-violating subjects for their art. What we’re trying to say is that this week’s cartoons are all about awful stuff, so brace yourself before you click the clicky and see the things in store for you.
What else but our collective sub-brain could have spawned this freakish image, in which Man’s highest achievement — the United States presidency — is fully mingled with the arboreal realm from which our primitive ancestors emerged millions of years ago? In this fever dream, Barack Obama is transformed into a swaying, graceful tree-being, like the Ents from the Lord of the Rings movies, but black. But while he might look friendly and approachable from afar, and seem defenseless to those who would do him ill, watch out! Get too close and he will literally teabag you to death, in the face, by dropping a grotesquely swollen “nut” onto you.
All this brings up an important point: is depicting Barack Obama as a tree, with rough, brownish bark, racist? It’s not a question that would have occurred to anyone before last week, when Jimmy Carter spoke out about racism, which he invented, and which did not exist before Jimmy Carter mentioned it. Anyway, here’s a fun fact: did you know that William S. Burroughs didn’t publish any novels during the Carter Administration? That’s because he spent the entire four years transfixed by a vision of the grotesquely grinning president brandishing an enormous needle, promising endless amounts of smack if Burroughs would only sit calmly and stare directly into his eyes.
Barack Obama is not interested in fulfilling your needs in this way, however. In fact, he’s more about the tough medicine! For instance, no longer will the fat, ass-tattooed denizens of Eastern Europe be able to hide behind their so-called “missile shield,” which does not currently exist, would not exist for years, and when built would have the same power to protect them from Russian nuclear attack as an actual shower curtain. But now that Obama has so cavalierly cast aside this non-existent future boondoggle, Vladimir Putin can look and laugh at all of their fleshy bits! And then nuke them or whatever.
After the nuking, of course, we’ll get to have that war with Russia we’ve all wanted for so long! Now, you negative nellies are probably viewing that prospect with horror, what with all the wars we’re currently fighting and the fact that we don’t have enough soldiers to fight them, and isn’t Russia, like, bigger? But! There is in fact a huge reserve of military manpower, which is middle-aged suburban dudes who doze off in their chairs while watching the news, and would just love to join the army to fight in all the wars, except their harridan wives won’t let them, for some reason. This is absolutely true! It was revealed in this political cartoon, which ran in newspapers, apparently!
With the military manpower crisis solved, Barack Obama was free to dedicate his time to his hobby: consorting with whores. Metaphorical whores! In this case, the “whore” is the National Endowment for the Arts, and Obama is “paying” (paying) it to “fuck” (produce art for) him. Ha ha, it’s 2009, and we’re somehow talking about the National Endowment for the Arts again, how did that happen? It’s also possible that the NEA-whore is the National Educators Association, but in the whore-john relationship between a union and a politician, isn’t it usually the other way around? Anyway, Obama is going to screw this dead-eyed artist/teacher silly, for money, is the important thing.
As punishment for his whoremongering, Barack Obama was ritually cooked alive and then eaten, the end. This cartoon is the first cannibalism-themed cartoon in human history in which a guy is being cooked in an enormous pot, and the guy being cooked in black and the guy standing by hungrily is white. This in turn probably means that racism is over forever. Take that, Jimmy Carter!
If Carl Jung were alive today he’d be really old. And Dog only knows what he’d make of “Dreams of My Father.”
But the part I don’t understand is why the last cartoon features a gigantic burner on the desk in the oval office, with a plus-sized frying pan. Does teh Prez usually cook large meals for the staff during the workday?
“Nudity And Cannibalism And Whores”
Friday night at the RNC offices? I guess only if the whores are 14 yr old boys.
We’re doomed.
How dare Barack Obama inject race into American politics, by being black?
Incidentally Colbert was ON last night.
Seriously, that’s the lousiest group of political cartoons I’ve seen in a long, long time.
TWO Glen McCoy comics? You must really fucking hate the shit out of us!
Re: Glenn McCloy. They don’t call it “performance art” for nothing.
Two Glenn McCoy cartoons in one day, I need a shower.
OH MY!
Uh, you know what? These are some of the most gawdawful, stupid, just plain bad “editorial” cartoons in ages, and some of them do smack of passive-agressive racism and conservatism. Hey, dumb cartoonists: If you’re racist and conservative, just come out and say so, and don’t hide behind stupid cartoons. What a bunch of moron cartoonists.
Perhaps the guy being cooked isn’t actually black, but merely very well done.
If people were paid according to their talent McCoy would be starving and homeless.
R. Crumb is alive and well and living in France: The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb
So you went for Lord of the Rings for your tree imagery, rather than Myrrha, the Greek woman who was turned into a tree after she fucked her own father? Clearly one of the two has more ass-fucking involved, and it ain’t Middle Earth!
Didn’t “the Wizard of Oz” have talking trees? I know an episode of “Family Guy” does. That would make the American Taxpayer Peter Griffin.
Yeah, all over American suburban white guys are just DREAMING of getting their fat asses out of their Lay-Z-Boys to go fight the tururists. For freedom! What a dumb shit that cartoonist is.
Wait, there’s a war going on in Afghanistan?
Guppy06:
I’m not so sure about that…..
Actually, it’s the National Education Association.
Comics Curmudgeon, just in general, a brilliant smackdown!
Obama is not being cooked</i. in that last one; he’s just taking a hot bath, the way they do it in KENYA, obvs.
I’m OK with the double dose of McCoy, as I am currently up to date on my blood pressure meds, and can therefore handle it.
Hey, Josh, I’m sorry I didn’t get this in before the submission deadline. But according to Jim Trever of the Albuquerque Journal, President Obama appeared on AT LEAST 13 DISTINCT TELEVISION NETWORKS LAST SUNDAY!
How come I always thought that editorial cartoons were supposed to be humorous? Clearly I was misteached.
Wow. If they ever make a Nobel Douche Prize, McCoy has that sucker sewn up.
Glen McCoy is upset that Obama hired his mother, Nea?
jasper f. krone:I don’t know the Albuquerque Journal and based on this guy’s cartoons- I don’t want to know it.
That whirring noise is Mauldin and Fischetti spinning in their graves.
So…All quiet on the Donna Barstow front, I take it? Ever since I wrote a blog post about her, my computer literally will not let me access any of the places where she goes to blather. Surely she has some weird thing that doesn’t make any sense and yet still manages to be racist somewhere, right?
Extemporanus: Cajun, also.
Tommmcatt: Yeah - there’s tons of gay hobbit fan fiction out there, written by adolescent girls about 6 to 8 years ago. My older daughter was one of those girls. Now my younger one writes gay anime fan fiction with cross-dressing anime characters. Not sure I understand it, but apparently it’s all the rage.
LOL! @ thinking the NEA was for the National Endowment of the Arts, though, it makes it even funnier because the word “endowment” is in the name.
r.e. the 2nd McCoy cartoon, with the hooker, I would like to point out a couple of stories that the MSM is really, seriously under-reporting.
1. The murder of Bill Sparkman
2. The murder of Steve Nunn’s girlfriend
Hell, they were all over that O.J. shit.
Why is Obama wearing a Nixon mask? Do NEA whores have some kind of mask/sociopathic demagogue fetish?
Ugh, in the shower pic, Eastern Europe’s chin just morphs into the left man titty. Hideous. I’ll be having nightmares for certain.