rumors on the internets

The Democrats Now Have The Bomb, Thanks To Arlen Specter’s Treasonous Ways

  • Heavens to Betsy! Illegal immigrants are trying to steal Lou Dobbs’s job! [True/Slant: Marcelo Ballve]
  • HE DID IT. He did it. Matt finished Infinite Jest, the novel. He read all of it. And he did not care for it. [Matt Yglesias]
  • Barack Obama will create a special death panel for your beer. [TPM]
  • Web 2.0 is here! And Jesus Christ, it sounds hella boring. [The Caucus]
  • Arlen Specter is a rotten traitor! Where to begin? Okay, first of all: he switched sides with Benedict Arnold during the Revolutionary War. And then he helped the Russians build Sputnik. And then he attacked the USS Cole. And then he defected to the Democrats. Enough is enough. Boo Arlen! Yay Toomey! [RedState]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Extemporanus

    HAHAHA Matt! The jest’s on you!

  • Bruno

    I thought we are on Web 4.0 by now? Anyway, reading legislation online is no doubt hellah boring

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Lou Dobbs is going to try that frog trick – with Mexicans on tonight’s show.

  • hobospacejunkie

    Joe Sestak for Senate! Kick Arlen to the curb. Apart from being obviously untrustworthy, we don’t want to get into a Robert Byrd-type situation. Arlen doesn’t look much like a spring chicken, but could linger, half alive, for years.

  • Brendan M.

    [re=418905]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Well, he’s already dead inside.

  • AxmxZ

    Oh great, now we have to hide both the white wymmens AND the beer from this terrifying Negro!

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=418903]Bruno[/re]: Hey isn’t going to open a real can of worms if people start reading these bills BEFORE they’re voted on?

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=418913]AxmxZ[/re]: Don’t forget to hide your guns too.

  • JSDC007

    Well, lets make sure the illegal Mexicanese don’t get dental care and free, shiny dentures! For without blindingly fake chompers, no Mexicaneses will ever look or talk like Lou.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Health insurers have a 3.3% profit margin, less than the 4.6% average for all businesses in the country.

    Karl Rove should’ve been a used-car salesman. I can’t look at a single statistic he uses without thinking that it must be some sort of slim thread of truth completely covered in lies, distortions and skewed angles. And now he’s fearmongering about beer? I don’t think even Robespierre went that far.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=418905]hobospacejunkie[/re]: You’re right!

    Arlen Specter is “Mike the Headless Chicken” reincarnate.

  • slappypaddy

    oh, matt, matt, matt. if you don’t like it, don’t read it. unless you’re getting paid, and then all you have to do is skip around in it, string some footnoted distortions together about it, save to file and print. that’s how i got through college. summa cum laude, man. (state university.)

  • Pithaughn

    [re=418928]Extemporanus[/re]: Well well well, Ext have you been to Fruita? It’s a one track heaven nowadays. Especially now that the drillers have thinned out some.Not quite as liberal as Telluride but still a big improvement over the Grand Junkkktion crowd.
    For instance, a local GJ news boy says the other night, “The president is on Letterman, if anybody would want to watch that”

  • Pithaughn

    [re=418924]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Only 3.3 % eh? That is a nice margin to make with OTHER peoples money! Rove is one sly devil. Brewers take raw materials and add value to them. Insurers take your money and invest it in breweries, until your spouse finally wins a decades long court battle with them at which time they finally reimburse your survivors for the denied test that would have saved your life.

  • Extemporanus

    Nope, never been. I tend to stay clear of towns that encourage people to keep fucking that headless chicken.

    So messy!

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=418940]Pithaughn[/re]: Oh, it’s not even 3.3%, I’m sure. Private insurers have huge overhead percentages — around 15% or even higher. The difference between the overhead and the profit is probably sucked out into executive bonuses, junkets, lobbying and a bunch of other things to make the actual profits look smaller. And it wouldn’t be surprising if Rove is figuring the huge chunk of the country’s medical expenses that go through Medicaid and other forms of care in which the overhead is much smaller.
    Considering there are so many ways to skew that number — and that Karl Rove is using it — the quick answer is to write it off as a complete distortion.

  • Snarkalicious

    I would pay good money to see a messican wearing Lou Dobbs’ suit, delivering a thinly unveiled message of racism/intolerance to messicans during Lou Dobbs’ time slot. At least fiddy pesos. 100 if it’s delivered with a deadpan face in an obviously fake Chinese accent.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    Heavens to Betsy? Heavens to Murgatroid!

    I’m sorry but it just had to be said.

  • bhosp

    And liberals all like Joe Sestak (or at least they should).

    No one likes Arlen Specter. He deserves some kind of award for being so unlikeable but still winning 6 (6?) Senate elections.

  • miquonranger03

    I have the bomb! Great! Now I can kill those fetuses faster and eat their stem cells! M’m m’m good! Stem cell casserole with steamed broccoli and sauce is a cheap, easy, and fast meal on a Friday night when you’re tired! Except for Ann Coulter, of course, because all SHE eats are the bones of fetuses. That’s why she’s so bony. *rimshot*

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Maybe that high-profit beer has clouded Dobbs’ judgment. Maybe it uninhibited Arlen “Phil” Specter and made Foster Brooks Wallace run a thousand pages long with Infinite Juice. It has perhaps affected the visual learning skills of remedial readers in Congress. As the ancient Chinese wrote, “Cut off the ears and the sunglasses fall off.” Sounds like a job for Barry’s second term.

  • spraklepeapooh

    ha ha! lou dobbs said he has fleas.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    After working at it on-and-off all day long, I’m finally done with Matt Yglesias and I feel . . . well, I don’t quite know how I feel. I was determined not to let reading this difficult column become a “difficult” process and just resolved to read a sentence then read the next sentence then read the next sentence (modified, as necessary, for footnotes and such) and not spend too much time worrying about whether or not I was understanding everything that’s going on. Consequently, I enjoyed myself reading the column—it’s funny, clever, etc., has some great set pieces, blah blah. Also some weak points. But by the end this has added up to . . . what, exactly? I don’t really know.

  • heroinmule

    Matt Yglesias is the reason David Foster Wallace killed himself.

  • Simba B

    Matt Yglesias is the reason David Foster Wallace killed himself.

    No shit. Nothing makes me want to throw things more than Yglesias’ blog, except for one thing: his commenters.

  • widget09

    I think you left some of the evil deeds Arlen Spector was behind, such as: Pearl Harbor, The Mei lie massacre, the burmuda triangle, 911/01, and the holocaust.

  • LittlePig

    Rove’s “software profits” angle is pretty dopey, too. If all the software folks did was remarket products made in universities (like pharma does), he might have a point, but as back as Micro$oft is, at least they steal from for-profit entities.

    And hell, Belgium owns Budweiser. Is Rove more worried about foreign nation’s profits over those of US America? HENNGH?

  • JadedDIssonance

    Funny to see literary discussion on a blog…

  • Barrett808

    Re Specter: You forgot the “magic bullet” theory.