Wonkette
HOLY MOLY LOOK AT GOV. RICK PERRY TOUCH THIS MAN. JESUS. He’s like, well sure I’ll shake your hand old man, but before I do that, I’m just gonna pet your hair a lil’ bit, and you’re gonna have to deal with that. Ha ha ha! This is still so good, even on the 42nd watch. And it’s not a one-off thing, either: this is simply how Rick Perry greets other humans.
A reporter for the Dallas Morning News shares her petting story:
I had my own encounter with Perry’s hair affinity last weekend, after his speech in Washington. It was my first time covering the governor, and I had tracked him down in the hallway to ask about his tête-à-tête with rival Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. But the tête he was most concerned with at first was mine. With a simple swift movement, the man known to many as “Gov. Good Hair” deftly smoothed some errant tresses–before brushing off my question about Hutchison’s Republican primary threat.
Ace wordplay!
So, readers: has Rick Perry ever petted your hair, or at the very least your penis or vagina?
Gov. Perry cares about your hair [Dallas Morning News]
Well, at least in public and with people watching. Take those two factors out and all hell breaks loose.
Man knows great hair when he sees it. He’s not just an admirer, but also a member of the Great Hair Club.
Later, Perry had the Asian news reader deported. “Damned Orientals!”
Merkin adjustment!
Literally cannot breathe - too much laughing.
Heavy Petting gets you 7 years in Texas.
I get a boner when he pets teh Old. Is that bad?
Did we learn nothing from Blagojevich? The greater the hair, the greater the evil that hair hides.
total fruitcake
He must have been so frustrated when confronted with 9ui11iani’s dome. I’ll bet it was a rough going at the I-10 rest stop bathroom that night.
“this is simply how Rick Perry greets other humans.”
Can we spot the error in Jim Newell’s sentence?
Rick Perry has launched a tête offensive?! HE’S A COMMIE!
Perry was named Gov. Good Hair by Molly Ivins. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison is known as ‘the Breck Girl.’ As with most things in Texas, appearances are more important than substance.
The hell with Perry and whatever the hell he was doing to that man—who the hell is the anchor babe? Damn! I mean, you have to admit–she’s pretty hot.
Wait. Are you saying this is not a socially acceptable way to greet strangers? Why wasn’t I informed of this?
At least ass-patting is still okay. I see that on televised sports all the time.
Gov. Rick Perry pillow biter, Texas gov. Rick Perry homosexual, gov. Rick Perry santorum, TX. gov. Rick Perry manholes, gov. Rick Perry felching contest, Tx. gov. Rick Perry bottom, Tx. gov. Rick Perry top, gov. Rick Perry flamer.
Signed:
Kay Bailey Hutchinson.
He’s totally petted my pubes.
And by “pubes”, I mean hairy ass.
chascates: I thought John Edwards was the Breck Girl? Perhaps KBH could be the Dreck Girl. That name’s not taken.
Extemporanus: Zing!
Yuck. He has no idea where that hair has been.
Finally a GOOD reason for those cops to be wearing the cowboy hats!
glamourdammerung: The inclusion of the word “other”?
he’s got jazz hands
Decker: Rudy wears his bush in a pubador, so Slick Rick was fine.
I’m as touchy-feely as the next gal, but ew.
Edywin: If you’re not careful, you could catch hair piece!
Extemporanus: Pulitzer-worthy.
glamourdammerung: There are no other humans, just Rick Perry and a bunch of robots with bad hair days written into their programming. It is like the Truman Show, except nobody exists except for Rick.
RICK!
Maybe Texans should change that “He’s all hat and no cattle” cliche to “He’s all hair and no cattle.”
He wasn’t petting that guys hair is was wiping Guiliani splooge off his hand.
Def. not hair worthy of secession. Google John C. Calhoun’s crazy hair. He was a looker.
Guiliani, GOP torchbearer for why wearing a dress and ZsaZsa’s makeup doesn’t make you gay.
Rick Perry, for why porn does make you gay.
glamourdammerung: “other”
Extemporanus: you’re on a roll. can i have some of what you’re having?
he’s a petter-o-phile.
Extemporanus:Also faux crabs: kind of like those fish pieces in the seafood section.
Guvner Perry thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s hair, nor shall thou grope it.
glamourdammerung: Good point. Humans aren’t the primates that greet their kind with grooming.
chascates: And yet, despite this fixation on appearances, their widespread lack of zoning permits scrap dealers and massage parlors to open businesses right next to nice houses. “We’re free! We’re cowboys! We pet hair! Don’t mess with Texas! Yah-hoo!”
Geez, Gov, OCD much?
Extemporanus: “Tête offensive”! That’s the best.
thefrontpage: Yeah, I’d like to pet her, uh, hair.
“and also hair”!
Does Cosmo feature personal ads, perchance?
chascates: Good ole Molly. GOD I miss her.
The fucking short man in search of a balcony “helped” Perry? Giuliani, the corrupt lisping serial adulterer, can’t get out of his own way, let along help anyone else get elected to anything.
Just one serious question, did the dude ever work as a barber/hairdresser? That would explain a lot.
Is there some other way to thank a person who just gave you a blow job?
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Ass-patting is only allowed between very large men after they run into each other. It’s a gay thing, you wouldn’t understand.
Okay, that was just creepy.
slappypaddy: or a petterast
Perry will probably brush off any criticism on this, claiming it’s just how he deals with the general pubic. We liberals tend to wig out about this kind of thing too easily, toupe perfectly honest. Also, has anyone ever seen Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison in her suit? Me nether.
@Lionel Hutz Esq.: Well, damn! All that leaves is pantsless hugging!
Gopherit: I believe you’re thinking of Lt. Gov. Hanrahan.
WTF! He’s only a half step away from public ‘nad cupping.
What other strange fetishes are lurking in the mind of Gov. Good Hair.
slappypaddy: I just got a mani/petty, so I’m feeling pretty relaxed.
thefrontpage: anchor babe is KXAN’s Sally Hernandez. She’s the hawtness, and I don’t even go that way.
Edywin: And that’s why Republicans are so against the Pubic Option.
I want to see what Rick “Pet-o-phile” Perry would do when faced with the luxuriant mop perched on the top of freshly-released, nearly-vindicated!??!? former congressman James Traficant!!!
http://www.freetraficant.com/
Perry would be transfixed, and probably fondle it for hours, cooing like a gibbering baby. Either that or run away screaming.
Wugou: …the general pubic.
Ha ha ha ha ha. I see what you did there.
Didn’t another Tx Gov (Bush) like to pet bald people on the head? I hear
these Texas governors can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: And may I be the first to support your pantless hugging.
That’s a pretty smooth move, but I wonder how he feels about extensions?
Hedley Lamar: GWB has a jones for German heads of state. Likes to give them a deep shoulder rub and then watch the hair stand up on the back of their neck.
Decker: “He must have been so frustrated when confronted with 9ui11iani’s dome”
Coming after the Rick’s Petting Zoo video, this image made me throw up in my mouth. Thanks a lot.
“Only two things come from Texas, Private Cowboy…”
“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”
- Silver-haired old guy
Aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha. Guiliani = “star power” Now that is hilarious.
Wugou: He touched his hair but he’s still against the pubic option.
Every girl an boy
Needs a little joy
All you do is sit an stare
Beggin on my knees
Baby, wont you please
Run your fingers through my hair
Perry is the kind of guy who grabs and holds on to your ears when you’re eating his pussy. But you probably already knew that.
stew: Steers and Tricophiliasts?
He brushed off his “question”? Is that what they call it down there?
tbogg: Twat did you just say? I cunt hear you…
Old guy prolly had a ‘falfa or somethin’. By ‘falfa I mean boner. On the top of his ol’ head.
DustBowlBlues: Coming after the Rick’s Petting Zoo video, this image made me throw up in my mouth.
They really should check his backyard for some tufts of grey hair, hollowed-out tennis balls and bingo markers leading up to a series of tents or tunnels..
“It puts the brylcreem on its head or else it gets the internet tutorial again!
I’m still ticked off that I was like 4th on line for a Mormon kid and then Perry gives ALL 400+ of them back.
Politicians with head fetishes. It’s a Texas thing.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ALX7o6zZ7L0/So9xqIUZZzI/AAAAAAAAC1Y/7LCWVe995_o/s1600-h/Sam+Rayburn+LBJ.jpg
tbogg: And, I was like, Ewwwwww………..
BTW, wasn’t Perry a cheerleader like Dubya? I’d also like to know if he ‘did hair’ in a past life.