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HOLY MOLY LOOK AT GOV. RICK PERRY TOUCH THIS MAN. JESUS. He’s like, well sure I’ll shake your hand old man, but before I do that, I’m just gonna pet your hair a lil’ bit, and you’re gonna have to deal with that. Ha ha ha! This is still so good, even on the 42nd watch. And it’s not a one-off thing, either: this is simply how Rick Perry greets other humans.

A reporter for the Dallas Morning News shares her petting story:

I had my own encounter with Perry’s hair affinity last weekend, after his speech in Washington. It was my first time covering the governor, and I had tracked him down in the hallway to ask about his tête-à-tête with rival Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison. But the tête he was most concerned with at first was mine. With a simple swift movement, the man known to many as “Gov. Good Hair” deftly smoothed some errant tresses–before brushing off my question about Hutchison’s Republican primary threat.

Ace wordplay!

So, readers: has Rick Perry ever petted your hair, or at the very least your penis or vagina?

Gov. Perry cares about your hair [Dallas Morning News]

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76 COMMENTS

  1. Perry was named Gov. Good Hair by Molly Ivins. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison is known as ‘the Breck Girl.’ As with most things in Texas, appearances are more important than substance.

  2. The hell with Perry and whatever the hell he was doing to that man—who the hell is the anchor babe? Damn! I mean, you have to admit–she’s pretty hot.

  3. Wait. Are you saying this is not a socially acceptable way to greet strangers? Why wasn’t I informed of this?

    At least ass-patting is still okay. I see that on televised sports all the time.

  4. Gov. Rick Perry pillow biter, Texas gov. Rick Perry homosexual, gov. Rick Perry santorum, TX. gov. Rick Perry manholes, gov. Rick Perry felching contest, Tx. gov. Rick Perry bottom, Tx. gov. Rick Perry top, gov. Rick Perry flamer.

    Signed:

    Kay Bailey Hutchinson.

  5. [re=418727]glamourdammerung[/re]: There are no other humans, just Rick Perry and a bunch of robots with bad hair days written into their programming. It is like the Truman Show, except nobody exists except for Rick.

    RICK!

  6. [re=418727]glamourdammerung[/re]: Good point. Humans aren’t the primates that greet their kind with grooming.

    [re=418729]chascates[/re]: And yet, despite this fixation on appearances, their widespread lack of zoning permits scrap dealers and massage parlors to open businesses right next to nice houses. “We’re free! We’re cowboys! We pet hair! Don’t mess with Texas! Yah-hoo!”

  7. The fucking short man in search of a balcony “helped” Perry? Giuliani, the corrupt lisping serial adulterer, can’t get out of his own way, let along help anyone else get elected to anything.

  8. Is there some other way to thank a person who just gave you a blow job?

    [re=418732]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Ass-patting is only allowed between very large men after they run into each other. It’s a gay thing, you wouldn’t understand.

  9. Perry will probably brush off any criticism on this, claiming it’s just how he deals with the general pubic. We liberals tend to wig out about this kind of thing too easily, toupe perfectly honest. Also, has anyone ever seen Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison in her suit? Me nether.

  10. I want to see what Rick “Pet-o-phile” Perry would do when faced with the luxuriant mop perched on the top of freshly-released, nearly-vindicated!??!? former congressman James Traficant!!!

    http://www.freetraficant.com/

    Perry would be transfixed, and probably fondle it for hours, cooing like a gibbering baby. Either that or run away screaming.

  11. [re=418820]Hedley Lamar[/re]: GWB has a jones for German heads of state. Likes to give them a deep shoulder rub and then watch the hair stand up on the back of their neck.

  12. [re=418725]Decker[/re]: “He must have been so frustrated when confronted with 9ui11iani’s dome”

    Coming after the Rick’s Petting Zoo video, this image made me throw up in my mouth. Thanks a lot.

  13. [re=418854]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Coming after the Rick’s Petting Zoo video, this image made me throw up in my mouth.

    They really should check his backyard for some tufts of grey hair, hollowed-out tennis balls and bingo markers leading up to a series of tents or tunnels..
    “It puts the brylcreem on its head or else it gets the internet tutorial again!

  14. [re=418959]tbogg[/re]: And, I was like, Ewwwwww………..

    BTW, wasn’t Perry a cheerleader like Dubya? I’d also like to know if he ‘did hair’ in a past life.

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