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Asshole Stands Near Ice ThingThe notoriously frivolous Fairbanks Daily News-Miner appears to have been caught Making Fun Of Trig, and the managing editor has written an epic apology: “Today I must apologize to Mrs. Palin personally and on behalf of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner for the choice of words used on the bottom of Wednesday’s front page regarding her speaking engagement in Hong Kong this week to a group of global investors. We used offensive language — ‘A broad in Asia’ — above a small photograph of the former governor to direct readers inside the newspaper to a full story of her Hong Kong appearance.”

Oh, if only newspaper editors were forced to apologize every time they used terrible, first-thing-that-pops-in-your-head puns in captions and headlines… then we’d have no newspapers!

But yeah, it’s always better to call Sarah Palin an “asshole” in these situations, avoiding all of that gender crap. “An asshole in Asia” would be a Pulitzer-worthy caption, “Check Out This Dumb Asshole” a Pulitzer-worthy headline, etc.

An apology to Sarah Palin [Daily News-Minder]

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88 COMMENTS

  1. OK, what’s hilarious about this is that newspaper apologies and corrections NEVER repeat the mistake in the correction. So for the editor to repeat the insult in the apology is a fancy journalistic way of apologizing without really apologizing. Nice to see some dead tree types still have some cojones.

  2. Look at Sarah! She’s decked out in her day-glo Fuchsia Inuit finery!

    As the ancient Native American proverb has it, “Inuit today, Dirty Sanchez tonight.”

  3. Calling her a “broad” is generous. I would go with Devilcunt, Hellbitch, Demon-dam, Grendel’s mum, etc. She should be thanking the Turd Miner for a flattering depiction.

  4. “Hillbilly Grifter Takes the Show on the Road.”
    “Sarah Palin (R-Wasilla) on Hearing That the Asians are Good With Math Heads to China to Learn Trig.”
    “Crouching Snowbilly, Hidden Graft.”

  5. Nah, we must respect Sarah Palin’s womanity. Even totally retarded, running-lights-on-but-nobody-at-the-helm, one-brick-short-of-a-load shit-for-brains deserve this courtesy.

  6. “Palin Takes Tripp to China.” Isn’t that one of her kids’ names? Oh, sorry, that’s Track. I forget, Trick, Treat, Trigg, Trap, Tramp, whatever.

  7. Julie will now have to apologize to the good folks of Bareflanks, AK for calling their local paper ‘The News Minder.’ It’s Miner, dear, named for the proud people whom former governor Palin recently mocked for digging holes.

  8. Here’s a fun new contest idea: Who can be the first to think of how she will claim this was an offense to her look-I-didn’t-abort-this-retard prop baby?

  9. Many years ago, Pia Zadora was set to play a gig at San Francisco’s Bimbo’s 360 Club in North Beach. It didn’t sell enough tickets and was deleted from the schedule.

    The newspaper headline was “Pia Zadora: The Bimbo’s Show Cancelled.”

  10. But she can get away with saying (in China):
    Ronald Reagan, he was faced with an even worse recession, and he showed us how to get out of here.

    Yes, he tripled the national debt and was forced to raise taxes twice after he’d lowered them. It was said of the Bourbons of France that they remembered everything but learned nothing. Palin doesn’t remember anything and hasn’t learned anything.

  11. Making fun of Palin — what will the Troops say?

    Why not have a picture with the caption “Former Governor Visits Hong Kong, Scores $300,000 for Speech, see page 3 for details” — factual, makes the meth-heads do a double take at “scores,” and reminds all why she quit her former day job.

  12. The promo headline should have read:

    Asshole in Hong Kong causes more embarrassment for United States of America; State Department Urges Palin to Make an Illegal Visit to North Korea While She’s Over There

  13. I guess they really were trying to be mean then, because otherwise they would just have pointed out that it was a simple typo, inserting a space between A and broad because obviously the caption was intended to be Abroad in Asia. Trite but not mean. Surely Sarah is acquainted with those ol’ printer’s devils. (And right on, ericstoltz.)

  14. Please, that headline wouldn’t even be the third choice for our own NY Daily News. I continually laugh at the headlines on every page of the paper.

  15. They should have gone with Sarah Palin Sells Out to the Chinese.

    And, think, if Obama’s first big speech was paid for by the Chinese, Orly Taitz, Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh etc. etc. would never let us hear the last of it and how he was indebted to them until the end of time.

  16. [re=418807]tiger[/re]: No.

    And your black box icon is kind of trippy on my monitor. I keep seeing dark brown things shifting around in it. Does this mean I need new glasses or a new monitor?

    I’m sure there is something offensive in the above, and Megtard Stapletongue will let us know, post haste, with venom.

  17. [re=418788]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Only Palin could go to China, adopt a poor Chinese baby, name it Sprig, then bemoan how everyone makes fun of her poor little yellow baby and its chinky chinky eyes. This broad is a piece of work, I say.

  18. [re=418665]Gorillionaire[/re]: When she is President of America, I’m sure she’ll have the Supreme Court packed with sorority sisters — one from each of her nine colleges — so she may be ABLE to sue Jon Stewart. But imagine the fun when all the Justices are wearing tiaras, have sashes over their robes, and they put the opposing attorney in a soundproof booth while the other is making an argument.

  19. The alt-text is very offensive for us Igloostanians who have the utmost respect for all Ice things, such as our Ice roads, Ice igloos, Ice creams and other Ice food as well as our Ice DogsSleighNutz.
    Also, media should know by now that assholes are to be photographed inside Ice things, such as BIC (Broad Ice Cubes), and never outside BICs — to keep them fresh and mostly harmless.

    Waiting for an apology!

  20. At this point she’s probably paying these liberal members of the media to denigrate her just a li’l so she can slime her way into another news cycle.

  21. [re=418632]slappypaddy[/re]: There are some surviving newspapers, such as the Bloomington Pantagraph and the Sioux Falls Argus Record, that shouldn’t have to apologize for anything since they have silly names.

    The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner is one of them. Daily News Minder is even better.

  22. “Retarded Redneck Addresses Intelligent Yellow-necks.”

    “Why is Sarah in Hong Kong? Ancient Chinese Secret at 8!”

    “Local crazy women breaches Chinese national security.”

  23. Oh Noes! Death Panels are back and this time they’re killing Trig! Talking Points Memo headline:

    “Emanuel: The ‘Senate’s Been Clear’ On Option’s Prospects … Pelosi Dismisses Trigger”

  24. Palin earns 250 kilograms of sudafed in Hong Kong speech fest

    Levi and Todd race snow machines to greet plane

    Twig is to branch as fingers are to computer

    Palin hits snooze alarm repeatedly; burns to death in tanning bed.

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