Asshole Stands Near Ice ThingThe notoriously frivolous Fairbanks Daily News-Miner appears to have been caught Making Fun Of Trig, and the managing editor has written an epic apology: “Today I must apologize to Mrs. Palin personally and on behalf of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner for the choice of words used on the bottom of Wednesday’s front page regarding her speaking engagement in Hong Kong this week to a group of global investors. We used offensive language — ‘A broad in Asia’ — above a small photograph of the former governor to direct readers inside the newspaper to a full story of her Hong Kong appearance.”

Oh, if only newspaper editors were forced to apologize every time they used terrible, first-thing-that-pops-in-your-head puns in captions and headlines… then we’d have no newspapers!

But yeah, it’s always better to call Sarah Palin an “asshole” in these situations, avoiding all of that gender crap. “An asshole in Asia” would be a Pulitzer-worthy caption, “Check Out This Dumb Asshole” a Pulitzer-worthy headline, etc.

An apology to Sarah Palin [Daily News-Minder]

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  • shadowMark

    A Tramp ABroad?

  • ManchuCandidate

    I think that they meant “Dumb as a board in Asia”

  • slappypaddy

    shit, the one time a paper tells the unvarnished truth and it has to apologize. what’s the whirled coming to?

  • El Kabong

    they needed a picture of her speaking with the youngs. then it could have been “Palin and youth in asia”

  • dougbob

    How About “Sarah’s Muck Lucks It Out in Hong Kong”?

  • ericstoltz

    OK, what’s hilarious about this is that newspaper apologies and corrections NEVER repeat the mistake in the correction. So for the editor to repeat the insult in the apology is a fancy journalistic way of apologizing without really apologizing. Nice to see some dead tree types still have some cojones.

  • Extemporanus

    My headline was: “Visiting Foreign Cunt Tries”.

    Do I need to apologize now, too?

  • Chain Tattoo

    Look at Sarah! She’s decked out in her day-glo Fuchsia Inuit finery!

    As the ancient Native American proverb has it, “Inuit today, Dirty Sanchez tonight.”

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    Calling her a “broad” is generous. I would go with Devilcunt, Hellbitch, Demon-dam, Grendel’s mum, etc. She should be thanking the Turd Miner for a flattering depiction.

  • teebob2000

    That is so fucking funny! The apology is an epic fail, though. The Palinistas will still use it to martyr her.

  • geminisunmars

    Can we get her to just stay abroad? I mean a broad. No, wait I mean. . .

  • PabaBritannica

    Sarah leaves Todd to go searching for Hong Kong Dong

  • user-of-owls

    They should have gone with “The Yellow Man’s Burden”

  • Crank Tango

    how about “Sarah Delights with new Pacific Rim Job”?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=418640]Extemporanus[/re]: I apologize for the open bold tag. But the comment stands.


    Possible headlines:
    “Dim view in Hong Kong”

  • I Am Not Your Gary Busey

    “Hillbilly Grifter Takes the Show on the Road.”
    “Sarah Palin (R-Wasilla) on Hearing That the Asians are Good With Math Heads to China to Learn Trig.”
    “Crouching Snowbilly, Hidden Graft.”

  • TGY

    Nah, we must respect Sarah Palin’s womanity. Even totally retarded, running-lights-on-but-nobody-at-the-helm, one-brick-short-of-a-load shit-for-brains deserve this courtesy.

  • norbizness

    “Hey, That Bitch Who Quit Us Is Doin’ Shit”

  • Bypartizoa

    And when is she going to apologize for all the Klan members at her rallies during the election?


    “Asshole Fingered in Taint Probe” -Thats ones mine pulizzer

  • Gorillionaire

    When she is President of America she will try to sue Jon Stewart every miserable day. Also.

  • Darkness

    Palin’ around with Asians while a broad? I’m with Abstinence, calling her a broad is a compliment to her, and an insult to broads everywhere.

  • ChernobylSoup v2

    Dames can be so sensitive.

  • magic titty

    “Bitch Trouble in Little China” is way klassy.

  • Clancy_Pants

    How about “Ap-Palin’ Diplomate”

  • Sharkey

    “The media, already held in low regard, need to be extremely wary of that meanness slopping over into their own work.”

    Yeah, JIM.

  • ericstoltz

    “Palin Takes Tripp to China.” Isn’t that one of her kids’ names? Oh, sorry, that’s Track. I forget, Trick, Treat, Trigg, Trap, Tramp, whatever.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Pork with lemon grass and lipstick?

  • c-sick

    “Asshole Stands Near Ice Thing”….classic

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    Am I the only one still experiencing cognative dissonance over the right wing’s embracing of political correctness and feminism?

  • Click

    Julie will now have to apologize to the good folks of Bareflanks, AK for calling their local paper ‘The News Minder.’ It’s Miner, dear, named for the proud people whom former governor Palin recently mocked for digging holes.

  • Crab1

    [re=418640]Extemporanus[/re]: perfect. you should get a genius grant for that.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    If Boyce would have ended with a tag, the apology would have been perfect.

  • graceless

    How can a person without depth, get in so deep?

  • mephistopheles jefferson

    [re=418644]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: I vote ‘Grendel’s Mum.’ In fact, I think it should be Wonkette shorthand henceforth.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Here’s a fun new contest idea: Who can be the first to think of how she will claim this was an offense to her look-I-didn’t-abort-this-retard prop baby?

  • chascates

    The gloves are off, the heels are on, and the stupid Jesus Barbie holds a grudge like the Ayatollah.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Yeah, that was offensive. And so outdated. What the hell was wrong with “Snowbilly Quitter Wallows at the Trough?”

  • Extemporanus

    [re=418687]graceless[/re]: Confucius say: To shallow person, everything deep.

  • pub_option

    She saw a restaurant sign advertising dim sum, and sued thinking they were ridiculing her mathematical abilities.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=418691]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Something tells me Mongolia will be involved.

  • Lets Go Vertigo

    Many years ago, Pia Zadora was set to play a gig at San Francisco’s Bimbo’s 360 Club in North Beach. It didn’t sell enough tickets and was deleted from the schedule.

    The newspaper headline was “Pia Zadora: The Bimbo’s Show Cancelled.”

  • Extemporanus

    [re=418676]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Keep kung pao-ing that chicken!

  • S.Luggo

    Asia Destroys Land Bridge

  • chascates

    But she can get away with saying (in China):
    Ronald Reagan, he was faced with an even worse recession, and he showed us how to get out of here.

    Yes, he tripled the national debt and was forced to raise taxes twice after he’d lowered them. It was said of the Bourbons of France that they remembered everything but learned nothing. Palin doesn’t remember anything and hasn’t learned anything.


    [re=418657]I Am Not Your Gary Busey[/re]: I asked Corn if you were him and he said no.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=418686]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Dammit, WordPress. Should have been [/sarcasm] tag.

  • McDuff

    Making fun of Palin — what will the Troops say?

    Why not have a picture with the caption “Former Governor Visits Hong Kong, Scores $300,000 for Speech, see page 3 for details” — factual, makes the meth-heads do a double take at “scores,” and reminds all why she quit her former day job.

  • thefrontpage

    The promo headline should have read:

    Asshole in Hong Kong causes more embarrassment for United States of America; State Department Urges Palin to Make an Illegal Visit to North Korea While She’s Over There

  • NopantsMcGee

    “Serial Dumbass Travels Outside of Trailer Court” was their second choice.

  • I Am Not Your Gary Busey

    [re=418719]NYNYNY[/re]: Nope, he’d be more clever. I’m merely inspired by Mr. Mo.

  • torera

    I guess they really were trying to be mean then, because otherwise they would just have pointed out that it was a simple typo, inserting a space between A and broad because obviously the caption was intended to be Abroad in Asia. Trite but not mean. Surely Sarah is acquainted with those ol’ printer’s devils. (And right on, ericstoltz.)

  • nailsinthecoffin

    Please, that headline wouldn’t even be the third choice for our own NY Daily News. I continually laugh at the headlines on every page of the paper.

  • stratonike

    Well that is offensive. “A psychotic neocon” would have suited far better.

  • Edywin

    Headline: World War Three Cancelled: China loses urge to dominate US after seeing example of Average Main Street American.

  • Crazybroad

    Where’s MY apology, huh? I am seriously going to have to change my screen name now.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    They should have gone with Sarah Palin Sells Out to the Chinese.

    And, think, if Obama’s first big speech was paid for by the Chinese, Orly Taitz, Glen Beck, Rush Limbaugh etc. etc. would never let us hear the last of it and how he was indebted to them until the end of time.

  • gurukalehuru

    Shit, Bitch, Hillary has to put up with worse than that every damned day. You ain’t nothin’.

  • qwerty42

    I dunno … they don’t sound properly apologetic to me.

  • tiger

    Shoot the twunt already. Was that too offensive?

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=418650]Crank Tango[/re]: Salty and Breezy! Now with no MSG!

  • the problem child

    [re=418807]tiger[/re]: No.

    And your black box icon is kind of trippy on my monitor. I keep seeing dark brown things shifting around in it. Does this mean I need new glasses or a new monitor?

    I’m sure there is something offensive in the above, and Megtard Stapletongue will let us know, post haste, with venom.

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    [re=418788]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Only Palin could go to China, adopt a poor Chinese baby, name it Sprig, then bemoan how everyone makes fun of her poor little yellow baby and its chinky chinky eyes. This broad is a piece of work, I say.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=418665]Gorillionaire[/re]: When she is President of America, I’m sure she’ll have the Supreme Court packed with sorority sisters — one from each of her nine colleges — so she may be ABLE to sue Jon Stewart. But imagine the fun when all the Justices are wearing tiaras, have sashes over their robes, and they put the opposing attorney in a soundproof booth while the other is making an argument.

  • Hedley Lamar

    [re=418674]ericstoltz[/re]: I hear she took Trig once.

  • FreedomPoodle

    The alt-text is very offensive for us Igloostanians who have the utmost respect for all Ice things, such as our Ice roads, Ice igloos, Ice creams and other Ice food as well as our Ice DogsSleighNutz.
    Also, media should know by now that assholes are to be photographed inside Ice things, such as BIC (Broad Ice Cubes), and never outside BICs — to keep them fresh and mostly harmless.

    Waiting for an apology!

  • grevillea

    “Hong Kong Phooey: Round-eye Devil Cunt’s Word Chop Suey.”

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Enough of the Yellow journalism.

  • rocktonsammy

    ” A broad with nice ass in Asia.”

  • Violenza

    At this point she’s probably paying these liberal members of the media to denigrate her just a li’l so she can slime her way into another news cycle.

  • Bruno

    So did the broad put out with the exotic foreignerz?

  • donner_froh

    [re=418632]slappypaddy[/re]: There are some surviving newspapers, such as the Bloomington Pantagraph and the Sioux Falls Argus Record, that shouldn’t have to apologize for anything since they have silly names.

    The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner is one of them. Daily News Minder is even better.

  • Buttery1000

    I saw Asians in a broad once.

  • President Beeblebrox

    Nothing Get’s By Sarah.

  • comicbookguy

    [re=418817]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Not only that she will have the entire White House Department of Law working on the case! Yooo betcha!

  • supremecourtjester

    How about: “Yellow Journalism: Palin Comparison”?

  • Joe Spenard

    Number 1 Chinese Chicken Word Salad

  • Joe Spenard

    Here in Spenard we call it the Fairbanks Daily News Minus

  • Zorg

    If I was the mighty editor of this venerable paper, I would have gone with the more Twainian “In a Sense, a Broad.” At least, as the hed for the apology.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    “Retarded Redneck Addresses Intelligent Yellow-necks.”

    “Why is Sarah in Hong Kong? Ancient Chinese Secret at 8!”

    “Local crazy women breaches Chinese national security.”

  • Boojum

    [re=418674]ericstoltz[/re]: How about “Palin on Track”?

  • Boojum

    Oh Noes! Death Panels are back and this time they’re killing Trig! Talking Points Memo headline:

    “Emanuel: The ‘Senate’s Been Clear’ On Option’s Prospects … Pelosi Dismisses Trigger”

  • Dolmance

    I hope Trig attended that dinner with Sarah that was recently raffled off, because it’s always best to have a vegetable with your meal.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Why didn’t they go with “Ding Dong in Hong Kong Sings Same Old Song?”

  • Click

    [re=418682]Click[/re]: Make that Jim. Sorry Julie.

  • villageatrois

    Palin earns 250 kilograms of sudafed in Hong Kong speech fest

    Levi and Todd race snow machines to greet plane

    Twig is to branch as fingers are to computer

    Palin hits snooze alarm repeatedly; burns to death in tanning bed.

  • Deacon Frank Orris

    [re=418650]Crank Tango[/re]: WIN.

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