Haha, Steve King, a Republican congressman from Iowa, did a really funny impression of misunderstood hyperbole last night on wingnut radio! He goes: The problem with the “slippery slope” argument—i.e., if the gays are allowed to marry other gays, there is absolutely nothing stopping them from marrying their own gay parents!!—is not that it’s hilariously overwrought, which it is, it’s that it has not been taken far enough.
Because seriously, what is stopping these calculating gays from all getting together and marrying every single other gay??
“If relationships between individuals cannot be prohibited by the state legislature, then there’s no ban that can actually be constitutional that would ban group marriage and it wouldn’t have to be for reasons of, let me say, love or lust, it could be reasons of profitability or avoiding taxes or accessing benefits,” King said.
“So in the end, this is something that has to come with a, if there’s a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal.”
God, the LEAST of America’s problems is if two rogue atomized gays get an individual marriage somewhere! Fear the inevitable collectivized group gay marriage, which would logically require that 100% of America’s tax benefits and Medicare and defense budget be funneled towards this homosexual singularity.
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That sounds like something read breathlessly at an auctioneer’s pace off a series of index cards during a freshman debate tournament, with about the same level of logical connection.
Of course, I’m being kind. This is Exhibit RRR in the Basic Human Dignity v. King trial.
So if Mackenzie Phillips had consensual sex with her father he could have married Denny Doherty and Cass Elliot could have adopted Denny and then Mackenzie would be her . . .
Hey, wait! Mormons already are doing this group marriage thing and they’re avoiding taxes and Mitt Romney can’t be President.
Or something.
All I have to say is thank jeebus Mackenzie Phillips is not a lebsian!
These freaktoids used to be in charge! GAH111!111 It’s a wonder God didn’t send us an asteroid, you know, just to put us out of misery.
THANK GOD, ONLY SEVEN DAYS UNTIL COCKTOBER!!!
Thanks, Steve, for pissing all over my dream of marrying Levi Johnson and the FIT Personal Training guy. Bastard.
Well, I’m convinced.
So people are going to get group married so they can get a tax break or some other benefit? King’s right — that is indeed horrid. Such rights are solely the purview of America’s corporate entities, and any infringement on these by actual human beings is beyond the pale. I mean, imagine the chaos that would result if every individual thought he had the same rights as Exxon.
Today, we are all MacKenzie Phillips.
Mmmmm, event horizon
I reject all slippery-slope arguments. They themselves constitute a slippery slope–where will it end?
…geez, he describes gays like they are the “borg”!
“let me say, love or lust, it could be reasons of profitability or avoiding taxes or accessing benefits,””
And this would be different from hetero marriage how? Also, he forgot to mention getting away from one’s parents, which is why my (now ex) wife married me.
“this is one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal.”
Ummmm… what? This makes Glenn Beck’s frog metaphor look downright logical.
Actually, although I’m NOT a polygamist myself, what is the overriding state interest that gives government the authority to prohibit multilateral committed relationships? Just Askin’.
This weekend I was going to have a beautiful Wiccan ceremony and marry a wonderful frog I’ve loved for years and years but some TV lunatic boiled my fiancé alive. The psycho bastard.
And how long will it be before King is found toe tapping at a Des Moines truck stop?
Marriage was invented so people could pool resources. It’s only recently that people have been marrying for “love or lust”. He must hate all marriage, then! I think what this guy is really saying is, let’s just have America be one huge swingers club. HE FEARS COMMITTMENT!
So if the USSR had only allowed gay marriage their little experiment with Mr Marx’s theory would have worked?
So mass (gay) marriage is the first step towards a socialized society where every one is (gay) married to every one else? Do the moonies know this? Someone alert Liz Glover!
Homosexual Singularities linked by fabulous Einstein-Rosen bridges decked out in holiday-colored bunting with vendors selling candy and ice cream. Who could possibly be against that?
Me thinks that this Iowa Daddy wingnut is taking the whole “leather daddy/sub boy,” “coach/jock” role play stuff he reads about in Inches magazine a bit too seriously.
The gays love fabulosity, wingnut daddy.
The gays do not love the socialism of agricultural subsidies for which all of Iowa is famous.
Unless those grains are distilled into tasty spirits.
Those pretty blue eyes say he has the balls to match.
Wow! I never looked at it that way.
But then again, I got past the 3rd grade before dropping out to sniff glue full time.
I propose mandatory gay marriages for any pol who says gay marriage has zombie-borg cooties. If they really believe god kills a kitten every time gays marry, then they’ll take one for the team and actively demonstrate it.
“So in the end, this is something that has to come with a, if there’s a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal.”
And this is why they really oppose universal health care.
[re=418320]hobospacejunkie[/re]: “Homosexual Singularities” deserves to be a new band name.
[re=418305]Redhead[/re]: King obviously attended the Sarah Palin School of Obtuse Speechifyin’.
Does this mean I am married to Steve King now?! What about my cats?!
Do conservatards speak some kind of secret Hobo English, intelligible only to other street corner maniacs? Because I do not understand what the fuck is coming out of the mouths of King, Bachmann, Palin, et al. It is foreign.
Yeah, if you let gays get married then all the usual boundaries on human behavior will be demolished and pretty soon you’ll have people claiming they have to raise taxes to do stuff like “provide for the common defense” or “promote the general welfare“. We can’t do that, it’s SOSHIALIST.
[em]“a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined”[/em]
Like where the state tells you that you can not marry someone?
I had forgotten how the Soviet Union was so tolerant and encouraging of homosexuality. Thank you, representative King, for reminding me.
[re=418288]chascates[/re]: Ahhhhhhh! So that’s what they were talking about in the lyrics to “Creeque Alley.”
If your sacred institution can only survive with help from the state (read: at gunpoint ) then what does that say about said institution? This person is a very crappy fear monger, he can’t articulate the fear well enough to scare a reasonable person. He should stick to ficticious barrels of yellow cake.
[re=418320]hobospacejunkie[/re]:
Hehehe.
You should be writng for these Wingnutz.
Now we can finally realize the utopia of free-love commune living that eluded our hippie parents. But do I have to keep my hair long and grow a beard? It itches!
[re=418295]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: sorry, you take Levi- I am adopting and then marrying the FIT guy- so as to tie in the Phillips and King stories
What stopped mackenzie phillips from marrying her dad?
Next thing you know, they will let furries breed.
Dear. Rep. King,
I’m sorry you missed the memo when you got married, but for future reference:
Separate. Checking. Accounts.
Jesus H. Being married to one person was annoying enough. Ain’t no way in hell I’d marry an entire group! Only one person gets to bitch at me at a time.
I thinkee Stevie Kinky wants to get group gay married, ne c’est pas?
[re=418346]graceless[/re]: Wouldn’t have worked, he was spending too much time in Chynna.
I’m for abolishing marriage all together. Legal marriage, that is. Tax breaks cuz you’re only fucking one person? Fuck you! However, if you wanna have some archaic rite with the gowns and the bottle smashings go right ahead, ya backward freaks.
Would the gay singularity still be a black hole? A gay hole? Are we, as a society, being sucked into the gay hole? This metaphor is going places!
What’s to prevent group gay marriage, Representative King? (A) Deciding who sits on which side of the aisle. (B) Making the seating chart. Can you imagine all the screaming and hair-pulling while that goes on? Oh, Mary.
finally. Some alt-text. Thank you Juli. Personally though I think he should marry his hairpiece.
BTW: King has a plan to depopulate the Hawkeye state on its gay homosexuals. See the link at his website: “Request a Fag.” http://steveking.house.gov/
Steve King should just go back to writing long, obtuse, but bestselling novels.
Oh, wait. Never mind. This Steve King is a windbag of a different sort.
Is there any evidence that this king person is in fact opposite-married? Methinks he doth protest too much.
[re=418333]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Forget about liberals vs. conservatives. In the end it’s all going to come down to civil war between the dog people and the cat people.
[re=418365]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: I’ve also heard marriage eventually leads to obesity, so there’s that.
“‘You always are watching pornporn -> now your a total fucking homo -> you find anuther homo and keep making out with him -> Socializm -> hitler/faggy holocaust -> gay agenda profit.’
I’m steve-o king and I think this message is awesome.”
I’m convinced.
In a sane world, this would be the tipping point that exposes Republicans’ “doing anything other than giving money to the rich and bombing arabs is socialism!” as nonsensical rhetoric. Good thing for Republicans this country is tarded beyond recognition.
[re=418293]Darkness[/re]: Don’t kid yourself. They’re still in charge. This (the “Obama Administration” and Dem majorities) is just recess. Things’ll be back to normal in November 2010.
That’s the craziest bullshit I’ve heard…..today.
His logic is impeccable and irrefutable. Clearly this has been part of The Gay Agenda from the beginning.
OH NOES! The US will turn into one giant gay dance party!
I tell you, teh gayz have a Five Year Plan. They’ll increase steel production by 10% and anal lube output by 50%.
[re=418403]Scoops McGee[/re]: Did you see the Glenn Beck frog v
boil?
[re=418303]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: The difference is in the Jeebus.
I think the most serious problem our country faces is that Republicans are constitutionally unable to write a coherent sentence.
[re=418305]Redhead[/re]: It’s a football metaphor. All Republican males must use football metaphors, lest it be discovered that they are actually gay.
From a very hypothetical, academic, angle it’s an amusing scenario he’s painting. no snark here. just playing devil’s advocate.
[re=418371]S.Luggo[/re]: and think of the arguments over who’s paying for the liquor, not to mention the increased probability of a drunk uncle/ex-boyfriend/Mother in law showing up.
[re=418420]randomsausage[/re]:
May I interrupt at this point as a resident Wonkette homosexualist and point out that there is no such thing as “anal lube”. It’s just general, all-purpose “lube”.
I mean, we buttfuck with it all the time, but let’s not limit its use, ok? You can use the silicon-based stuff to keep doors from squeakling.
[re=418331]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Maybe Schrödinger’s Fag could open for them?
Well, nothing left to do but nationalize the buttsecks industry. Spit or astroglide, comrade?
Someone hasn’t been watching their Schoolhouse Rock:
Steve King has sponsored 43 bills since Jan 7, 2003 of which 42 haven’t made it out of committee and 1 were successfully enacted.
[re=418351]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: We’d have to use science to produce the first offspring. Get me the corpse of Marlon Brando!
[re=418323]Click[/re]: Ba-zing.
I’m not the biggest Star Trek geek in the world but I’m pretty sure that the vessels of the Romulan star fleet run on Homosexual Singularity Hyper Drives.
I propose sticking a particle of Steve King’s brain in the CERN Large Hadron Collider…then we’ll be assured of finding the elusive Higgs Bosun.
That or “top” quark condensate will rip a gay hole in space-time, sucking the known universe (including Steve King) into a bung singularity…the end.
Nambu–Jona–Lasinio, y’all!
[re=418400]V572625694[/re]: I’m in denial for sanity’s sake. Leave me alone, all right?!
[re=418536]Paterlanger[/re]: Homosexual Funkycoolhelmet Singularity Hyperdrives. (Confession, I never saw anything but Classic Trek. I gave up Teevee a loooong time ago.)
Don’t forget that Gay Marriage would allow for men to marry turtles. of the boxed variety.
[re=418301]jasper f. krone[/re]: Sheer genius!
King’s argument is based on a common misunderstanding among American conservatives that the number two is logically indistinguishable from any number larger than two.
Gays will assimilate you. Resistance is futile. You will be adapted to service us.
“one of the goals they have to go through is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal.”
There’s evidently a problem with the azimuth calculator on my gaydar device. I had totally assumed him to be a bottom.
Ever since I found out that jerking off means you’re gay, I’ve wanted to gay marry myself.
Is this dope saying that love and lust are two different things? What a tool.
Marriage is nothing more than sexual favors in return for goods and services.
Why do conservatives love prostitution so much?
“everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone”
This is how old-fashioned families always worked, Steve. Especially pioneer sod-buster families in western Iowa.
Jeez, once upon a time, we were represented by Berkekley Bedell, the inventer of monofilament fishing line. Now this fool, who looks like he’s never had dirt on his fingers. No wonder I live abroad.
Zhu Bajie
Grassley and King had hot dirty buttsecks together in the men’s room between the snack bar and the John Birch Society booth in the Varied Industries Building at the Iowa State Fair. If it ain’t true, prove it to me with a long-form affidavit handwritten on magical Kenyan toilet paper and notarized by Orly Taitz.
Iowa’s getting famous again. Where’s Slipknot when ya need em?
[re=418995]AlexisHidell[/re]: yes. why won’t they just release the evidence? what are they hiding?!!
I thought the ‘homosexual singularity’ was that time things got a little crazy after everyone else went home.
Nice bit though, Juli…
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