he always has

Obama Now Sails Under The Flag Of Commie Red China

Treachery! The wingnuts have a new thing to type about: “We now have solid confirmation that the communist government of China did in fact raise their flag above Washington, DC for the first time this past Sunday, September 20, 2009.” Obama, OPEN YOUR EYES! “The communist government of China now owns a great deal of US debt and factions of their military threaten to launch a nuclear strike against the United States over possible conflicts involving our allies in Taiwan. They used to only be able to threaten to destroy the west coast of America, but due to the theft of our two stage missile technology, during the Clinton administration, China now has the nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and delivery systems to attack every major city in the United States.” These strikes will of course happen tonight, during Jay Leno or whatever, because of the flag thing. [WorldNetDaily, ALIPAC]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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127 comments

  1. germansteel

    I heard they were going to bomb the shit out of us in retaliation for sending Sarah Palin over to Hong Kong for her speech today.

    I don’t blame them.

  2. imissopus

    In retaliation thousands of American citizens now plan to march on Washington with tiny egg rolls attached to their hats.

  3. SomeNYGuy

    Wait until Chimpy McFlightsuit shuffles off this mortal coil and they discover the Saudi flag tattooed on his left buttock.

  4. give us a bob

    I wonder how many local goods or products that were even tangentially involved in producing this flag ceremony, and in covering it, were shipped to their final destination via train. I wonder how many of those goods or products may have originated on the West Coast (or dare say, even further West). Finally, I wonder how many of the goods shipped by rail may have therefore traversed sections of the original Transcontinental Railroad.

    Just wondering.

  5. WhatTheHeck

    This is where Sarah (Queen Esther) of Wasila, swoops in to lead the counter attack, holding up the armies of Gog and Magog for the returning Jeasusto smite.

    For god’s sakes, Jim, get your conspiracy theory right.

  6. user-of-owls

    Drudge sirens to look for:

    On the CCP being Obama’s new homies: GREAT PEEPS FORWARD!

    On slumping sales for ‘Audacity of Hope’: LITTLE READ BOOK!

    …oh, there’s more.

  7. ManchuCandidate

    Red China has 20+ ICBMs that can reach most of US America, only a few carry multiple warheads.

    US America has 450 Minuteman III ICBMs that can reach out and touch China + 500 or so Trident II SLBMs and all carry multiple warheads.

    Most importantly, why would China want to blow up it’s biggest customer?

  8. facehead

    OT, but I was over at the Drudge and saw they fixed the Fox Greta ad (no doubt this is due to my threat to organize a million grammarian march on Fox headquarters).

  9. Pithaughn

    Of course way at the bottom of the “article/rant” at WND, they deflate the entire premise of their anger with this “A spokesman for the American Legion told WND that if the proper protocols are followed, there should be no issue with the actual display of a Chinese flag, especially since diplomatic visits routinely include the display of foreign flags. ”
    I’ll tell you what, if the Legion is ok with it then by gawd they should shut up already, and quit whining about the 70 million china mans that got rubbed out by Mao. Have they even caught up to what the US guvmint has done to the injuns right here in merica?

  10. Werefrog

    In America you flag pole, in Soviet China pol(ice) flags you! Obama would have been wise to heed the timeless warning of Yakov Smirnoff.

  11. ManchuCandidate

    [re=417966]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
    Fuck. It’s its not it’s. Who do I think I am? Fox News’ or Greta Van ‘su’stren?

  12. One Yield Regular

    [re=417953]imissopus[/re]: In retaliation, I urge wingnuts to burn everything they own – EVERYTHING – that’s made in China.

  13. AbstinenceOnly Ed

    Thank god! For a second there, I thought they were coming after my Chinese fag!
    Nobody puts my B.D.in the corner! Nobody.

  14. Snarkalicious

    [re=417966]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yeah, China is only communist in terms of population statistics. The few rich-ass fuckers at the top aren’t sending shit this way but consumer electronics, polo shirts and ‘Made In America’ product tags.

  15. Jim89048

    I wonder how many times the US American flag has flown at the Olympics following a curling match? kin’ Canada City wins alla time!

  16. dijetlo

    Five stars for the five new superstates.
    Hockey, Kinky, Inbred, Dumbass and Crowded. As a resident of Crowded, I can only salute our New Chinese Overlords and suggest, its about fugging time.
    Kuddos on the new natioanal motto “Hu is your Daddy!” Also

  17. slappypaddy

    yes, it’s true, and a sad sad day it is. the communist capitalist government of china, after a fierce firefight with the valiant teabagger brigade of the ayn rand wing of the freedom party of the shadow government of the benighted states a-murky, raised its bloody standard over the smoking ruins of our blasted temples of liberty. it wasn’t reported by the msm, they’re all part of the conspiracy of silence. spread the word! tell everyone you know!

  18. Dave J.

    Well, shit, if we fly the Chinese flag above this country, then won’t they be *unlikely* to bomb us?

    CLEVER THINKING!

  19. SomeNYGuy

    [re=417982]Snarkalicious[/re]: Accompanied by the fine-print instructional notation, “Insert cock here.”

  20. comicbookguy

    [re=417990]slappypaddy[/re]: The teabagger revolution didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to!

  21. The Station Manager

    [re=417992]Sharkey[/re]: Hahaha, faaaaaantastic. I was pretty sure this was even less than a non-story. Thanks for the confirmation.

  22. Atheist Nun

    Let he who doesn’t have 1,000+ items in his home from Teh Wal-Martz stamped with “Made In China” cast the first stone…

  23. pampl

    I’m not sure ALIPAC understood their target demographic when they named themselves after notorious negro militant Cassius Clay.

  24. qaf

    Yes, the Chinese own lots of our debts and are planning to bomb us in order to profit from making all that debt unrecoverable by annihilating their biggest customers. Not to mention the world financial collapse that would shortly follow.

    Clearly coherent thought is in short supply these days.

  25. god.was.stingy

    “China now has the nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and delivery systems to attack every major city in the United States.”
    Good thing World Net Daily readers live in caves and zeppelins. Even there, they should watch out for the melamine attacks! Damn those tasty White Rabbits.

  26. glamourdammerung

    The missile technology theft bullshit claim is yet another conservative lie. The theft was discovered during the Clinton administration, which is like blaming Obama for Abu Ghraib.

  27. Numbat Dundee

    Shagua da bizi Meiguo ren! Meiguo ren tai pang. Meiguo ren bu congming. Women bu yao mai zheige!
    Dui bu dui tongzhimen?

  28. glamourdammerung

    [re=417962]Extemporanus[/re]: “How do we know that wasn’t just footage from the 9/12 Teabagger March on DC?”

    There were not enough signs with racist slurs on them.

  29. dijetlo

    [re=418028]Numbat Dundee[/re]: Dui gui-lo.
    I realize mandarin is the national language, Putahngwa Tsei, but Cantonese is just cold bangin’ sexier than mandarin by a factor of ten, all those soft little “la’s’” and “lo’s” and that little turned up “mah?” at the end of every question. That and when you speak mandarin you look and sound like your eating rancid shit.
    Hai ‘m hai, yi m Tsi, mah?

  30. Neilist

    “Chinamen?” Did someone say “Chinamen”?:

    Col. Andy Tanner: …The Russians need to take us in one piece, and that’s why they’re here. That’s why they won’t use nukes anymore; and we won’t either, not on our own soil. The whole damn thing’s pretty conventional now. Who knows? Maybe next week will be swords.
    Darryl Bates: What started it?
    Col. Andy Tanner: I don’t know. Two toughest kids on the block, I guess. Sooner or later, they’re gonna fight.
    Jed Eckert: That simple, is it?
    Col. Andy Tanner: Or maybe somebody just forget what it was like.
    Jed Eckert: …Well, who *is* on our side?
    Col. Andy Tanner: Six hundred million screaming Chinamen.
    Darryl Bates: Last I heard, there were a billion screaming Chinamen.
    Col. Andy Tanner: There *were*.
    [he throws whiskey on the fire; it ignites violently, suggesting a nuclear explosion]

    WOLVERIN . . . . .

    What?

    Really?

    Last week?

    Oh.

    Sorry.

    Never mind.

  31. glamourdammerung

    [re=418024]qaf[/re]: You mean like how Obama belongs to a racist Christian chuch, and is muslin? Or how Obama is socialist and facist? Or how he is black and arab? Or has no principles, and is a hardcore Marxist, etc, etc, etc.

  32. SomeNYGuy

    [re=418047]Neilist[/re]: Indeed, Red Dawn has become too poignant and sore a subject to mention since the death of Irving Kristol.

  33. Numbat Dundee

    [re=418046]dijetlo[/re]: But when Beijingers speak Mandarin they all sound like pirates with those “arrrrr”s at the end of every second word. You’ve got to admit that’s cool.

  34. qwerty42

    [re=417970]Pithaughn[/re]: …if the Legion is ok with it then by gawd…
    they’re obviously commies. pinkos. probably in charge of death panels.

  35. Neilist

    Oh, one more thing:

    Would someone PLEAZE tell Ray Comfort, whose book “refutation” of Darwin is featured in the middle of the page, that the title is not “Origin of THE Species,” but rather, “Origin of Species”?

    (You FUCKING IDIOT.)

    [re=418052]SomeNYGuy[/re]: “Sore” as in a bad case of the piles? Or Bill Kristol? Hard to tell the two apart, really.

    WOLVER . . . .

    Oh, never mind.

  36. doxastic

    No wonder these assholes fuck up foreign policy at every turn: Hey, China holds a great deal of our debt and provides our sinking middle class with cheap goods–ANTAGONIZE THEM UNNECESSARILY!

  37. Hopey dont play that game

    I think we should have a contest: America’s next outrage. Contestants create obvious lies in the hopes of fomenting the next wingnut outrage. Photoshopped documents, internet rumors, NRO-style logical fallacies all earn bonus points.

  38. dijetlo

    [re=418053]Numbat Dundee[/re]: How can you not like a language where your expected-la to just stick sounds in-ma at random intervals because you feel like it-la?
    Mandarin is all barking and hissing, Cantonese is like a song.

  39. comicbookguy

    [re=418061]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Even though my fake Tatooine birth certificate never took off with Darth Idiots, count me in.

  40. comicbookguy

    [re=418058]Neilist[/re]: If the Book of Revelations is any guide, getting the title right doesn’t matter anyway.

  41. dijetlo

    [re=418057]Tommmcatt[/re]: How do you think they ended up with a billion Chinese?
    [re=418062]Numbat Dundee[/re]: Depends on the Pao in the qi.

  42. ManchuCandidate

    [re=418072]hillarys_left_nut[/re]:
    I don’t see an issue considering that this is what the Olds/Stupids/Insane who flock to WND would call yellow tinted folks like me.

    Besides, ole Nellist loves being a misanthrope from time to time.

    [re=418077]bago[/re]:
    Besides, I’ve never thought of Bekc as Gordon Jump. More of a malevolent Les Nesman.

  43. the problem child

    Wingnuts going crazy over the “red” chinese while $ Palin is raking in big bucks in Hong Kong. Messy!

  44. Tommmcatt

    [re=418062]Numbat Dundee[/re]:

    Actually, I was thinking more of those athletic young men’s gymnastic teammembers… but it’s all good.

  45. Sparky McGruff

    I was on the Capital Mall this weekend, and I was “letting my freak flag fly”. Top that, Red China!

  46. sigerson

    Does anyone find it amusing that the Republitards have chosen “red” as their team colors? Redstate.com and all that. Wasn’t that long ago when “better dead than red” was a common statement in conservative circles. Now they’re proud of being Red?

  47. GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=417966]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The paranoia of a Chinese attack on America is fucking ridiculous. I spent 4 semesters studying modern China (1880s to present) and I can definitely say this: They aren’t nearly as paranoid of us as we are of them.
    They nuke us, they lose customers.
    We nuke them, we lose everything we use.

  48. Mad Brahms

    The real dissonance is that the right can somehow denounce China for being tyrannical and abusing human rights, while Palin pushes for a solution to the Uighur “problem”. I guess crazy muslins are crazy muslins.

  49. glamourdammerung

    [re=418100]stew[/re]: I sent that to tips earlier.

    I hope they execute the responsible parties, instead of shopping around for a deal like they did for Eric Rudolph. Having a Justice Department not entirely run by nuts might help this time around.

  50. ifthethunderdontgetya"

    [re=418116]glamourdammerung[/re]: I hope they execute the responsible parties…

    You mean Rupert Murdoch and such as, also?

    It is about time!
    ~

  51. druranium

    [re=418100]stew[/re]: I was wondering which nutbag would be the first to have blood on their hands. Batshit Bachman wins this round. They are starting slowly by murdering census workers, then FEMA employees, then perhaps a stab at the illegitimate black muslin liberal terrist nazi who is camping in the white house.
    In light of this development, I can’t help but posting this link that you have probably read 23 times before…http://www.fuckthesouth.com/ (Needs to be annotated to point out that hangings and draggings don’t really occur anywhere else in the country)
    And yes, we have “the south” here in librul southern california too, (Hesperia, for example!) so before you go thinking I’m agreeing we should damn a geographical region with a broad brush – I promise I am not.

  52. Neilist

    [re=418072]hillarys_left_nut[/re]: Well, how about “Celestials”? “Sons of Heaven”? “Mongol Hordes”? “Yellow Per . . . .”

    Oh, sorry. I started reading a column about the last time Peggeth of Nooningstonshire ordered take out from the Hunan dive around the corner . . . .

    [re=418079]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Nothing personal. But at least you’re not an Irish Catholic.

    Generations of alcohol-fueled inbreeding. Generations!

  53. glamourdammerung

    [re=418123]ifthethunderdontgetya[/re][i]You mean Rupert Murdoch and such as, also? [/i]
    Telling someone to do it and doing it are different levels of guilt legally. While I agree they are responisble, I would have no issue with them being fined and losing broadcasting licenses if this nonsense keeps going.

    [re=418124]druranium[/re]: This is not the first instance of a wingnut killing someone since the election.

  54. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    And the

    Actually, after watching the Olympics last year with a million perfectly choreographed performers playing drums in perfect unison, I’m rather sad to see that DC fell so easily to such an apparent rag-tag assault. God, have we become fat and lazy.

    [re=418052]SomeNYGuy[/re]: I understand that the entire Kristol Family weeps every night that Irving did not live to see Red Dawn be hailed as the most visionary docudrama in the history of film. If only Reagan had had some balls…..

  55. Neoyorquino

    So tedious. I once worked in municipal public affairs for a small border city. The populace just about soiled themselves when a Mexican consulate was established, and began flying the Mexican flag. We had a few flag courts with the flags of other countries alongside the U.S. flag, and I would routinely (1-2 times per month) get inquiries about why our flag was not flying higher than the others. I studied up on the U.S. Flag Code more than I ever wanted to, committed to memory the phrase “When flown with the national banner of other countries, each flag must be displayed from a separate pole of the same height” . . . and even went so far as to call the U.S. State Department Office of Protocol. After a lengthy conversation, the cordial and long-patient woman I spoke with said essentially, “the U.S. is a free country — you can fly any flag you want, and the government won’t tell you what flag you can or cannot fly. You could fly the Communist flag over your house if you wanted to (W’s admin, BTW). Our primary concern is that the U.S. flag be displayed respectfully, and we would expect that those of other countries be displayed in such a manner also.”

  56. Go Figure

    See– The teabaggers were right! Obama IS a Communist!!!! Clearly he pals around with them.
    But wait! Sarah Palin is in Hong Kong…….SHE IS PALLING AROUND WITH COMMUNISTS!!!

  57. GreatOldOnesParty

    [re=418149]hoosiermama[/re]: you rock!

    [re=418124]druranium[/re]: This is scary…

    [url]http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g178/Nyx9_2006/BachHeidi_Fleiss.jpg[/url]

  58. Crank Tango

    Ten bucks says “fed” was in all caps.

    And they found his computer, which probably has the info for the houses he made it to, so it’s just a matter of time til they get to the asshole that did this.

    And, and, those fuckheads came out saying they are proud of bachmann today. Really boner? Really can’tor? The GOP is proud of this.

  59. zhubajie

    [re=417999]user-of-owls[/re]: China is in an alternate dimension; no one care a rat’s ass about any of this stuff.

  60. Jim89048

    [re=418151]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: OMFG, Heidi’s my neighbor. Is Bachmann like her mother? Because I’d like totally NOT want to see that here, like evar.

  61. glamourdammerung

    [re=418156]Crank Tango[/re]: The lunatic fringe is already trying to claim ACORN did it to make the lunatic fringers look like nuts.

    LOL.

  62. zhubajie

    [re=418035]Leopolt[/re]: It is true that a nap after lunch is one of the constitutional rights of China. You are also free to walk down the street drinking beer or sit in front of your store and suckle your baby. Free to have them crap on the sidewalk, too.

  63. zhubajie

    [re=418150]Go Figure[/re]: Not in Hong Kong.[re=418092]sigerson[/re]: I always thought that was strange. Conservatives always used to be Whites, and Liberals were Reds.

  64. Bearbloke

    [re=417992]Sharkey[/re]: Looks like the souvenir photo of the ceremony where Bush officially sold the US to China, for cash (Euros, please) and stock options to Bush that vest in 10 years…

    [re=418177]Marmel[/re]: Has there been any comment or statement from her office, yet?

  65. gurukalehuru

    Speaking of things found in Kentucky Cemeteries, why haven’t we been hearing much about Steve Nunn?
    Also, Hart County and Clay County both have 4 letters.

    Also, why isn’t Wonkette all over the Mackenzie Philips thing? It has sex, drugs and references to 60s pop culture all over it. I’d have thought it was right up our Creek Alley.

  66. Claws Nomi

    dijetlo:

    That kind of dialect preference is highly personal. For example in northern China at least, people think certain southern dialects can make men who speak them sound too soft and indecisive because they’re not sharp, crisp enough, and the trailing sound at the end of sentence make it sound like you’re negotiating/asking for permission. A classic example of this is the cognitive dissonances created whenver the Luo Xiaohu character in Crouching Tiget Hidden Dragon speaks: he is supposed to be this desert eagle/lone wolf type, but he is super soft spoken, even more so that the spoiled girl he’s chasing after.

    And you should see the reactions I get when I tell my non-Chinese speaking friends directions to my favorite restaurant in NYC Chinatown: just go down on Mott and then take a left around Mei Dick (http://www.yelp.com/biz/mei-dick-new-york). Sexy indeed.

    zhubajie: in Russia during the revolution the communists were the Reds and the Czarists were the Whites, so in most communist countries white is associated with conservative. Is it true here in U.S. as well?

  67. plowman

    When we’ve spent our last equity-line dollar on cheap crap at Walmart and the Chinese missles come screaming in over what’s left of the polar ice-cap I just hope Jane Velez-Mitchell chooses MY fallout shelter to huddle in…

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