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Libyan President Whatever-the-hell delivered a real barnburner at the United Nations today, in his first speech to the General Assembly. Here he is being like, “Little known fact about the Taliban: they’re pretty great!” In his allotted 15 minutes — which somehow became 60-plus minutes — he also demanded $7.7 trillion in reparations from the West for colonizing the African continent for centuries (a steal of a price, to be honest), blamed the UN for failing to stop or prevent 65 wars, and said he loved Barack Obama and wants him to be president for life, aww. [AP]

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132 COMMENTS

  1. The actual General Assembly? Or a special, sound-proof closet with a hand-painted sign that says “General Assemblee” where Qaddafi can record his own video diaries, like on the Real World? I just assumed that the UN would know better than to allow the former.

  2. [re=417653]bitchincamaro[/re]: Marketing for the new Davis Guggenheim doc It Might Get Loud. Jimmy Page is working Question Time this week at the British Parliament, & Jack White is giving the State of the State Address for both Michigan (where he was born) & Tennessee (where he lives).

  3. [re=417654]bhosp[/re]: Whoa. I guess I do miss out when I only read Wonkette’s summary and don’t bother to watch the clip. Not surprising since he’s lives in a tent.

  4. I don’t watch Fox News and I don’t watch crazies – really- no Palin, No Beck, No Qaddafi. I wait for Wonkette to tell me what was said. Ok, sometimes I see clips on Rachel or Jon or Steven.

  5. The veto-wielding Security Council powers — the United States, Britain, China, France and Russia — treat smaller countries as “second class, despised” nations, Gadhafi said.

    Quite scathing, coming from a homeless dude.

  6. [re=417661]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: I have said it many times before, maybe even on our own dear Wonkette: If it weren’t for his being a sorta douchey dictator guy, Gaddafi’s sartorial sense (and lifestyle, see: Amazonian Guards) would be imitated the world over.

    Like George Will, you will never see Gaddafi in a pair of dungarees.

  7. Remember when he claimed, like, an eighth of the Mediterranean as Libyan territorial waters and Reagan sent the USS Somedeadpresident into those waters just for sport? Good times.

  8. He looks like the apothecary who sold Homer Simpson the monkey’s paw.

    “The monkey’s paw is cursed…”

    “That’s bad.”

    “But it comes with a free Frogurt!”

    “That’s good.”

    etc.

  9. Did the translators for Khadafi and Sarah Palin attend the same exceptional advanced degree program for translating word salad to normal language?

  10. Can anybody see the whites of his eyes? He looks possessed, like Jane Boathouse from True Blood. By minute 30 he probably sawed his finger off. He could’ve just marched up to fellow Colonel William Prescott’s men and choked them all out one by one at the Battle of Bunker Hill.

  11. I’ll just nerd out for a second and then stop. When it deals with the spoken word, they are called interpreters, and with the written word, they are translators. Because you really can’t translate a speech word for word or even as faithfully as a written text. This is a little distinction that only translators and interpreters really care about, but boy do we love pointing it out to people. see above.

    When dealing with a Sarah Palin, they are called something else entirely. Retard-whisperers maybe?

  12. Gotta wonder if Qaddafi’s son and heir apparent was looking on and thinking, “Just f*cking die already you nutty old man.” Maybe Qaddafi Junior and the Kim Il kids should start a “Sons of Crazy Dictators” club.

  13. oooh I know Fox is eating this up. They were all “oh noes, Obama will be sitting 12 feet from Qaddafi…that makes him a communist/socialist/muslim/terrorist to.” Qaddafi looks like he smoked a little hashish before he went on. Never trust a man with squinty eyes my mother always said.

  14. Whoa! If he only he would breed a baby with Sarah Palin, I would take very good care of my health so as to live long enough to hear him/her speak when it came of age.

  15. [re=417686]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: Word. Totally bitchslapped him.

    But no WTF on what he is: the NYT made clear that his Ambassador to the UN/Senior Bootlick called him as “leader of the revolution, president of the African Union, King of Kings of Africa.”

    So he’s totally the shit, in Africa, also.

  16. Judging from the 2009 photo on his Wikipedia listing, the 67 year-old has added plastic surgery and Botox to the eternal hair dye in his perennial efforts to keep the Che Guevara look alive. No matter that 3/4 of the world is too young to remember who Che was (it could be worse; he might have changed to Becoming Bob Marley at some point). No matter how hard he tries, Miomar doesn’t resemble Che so much as he does Geraldo Rivera’s down and out older brother (fictive, of course).

    This is about the first time the groundhog has come out to see his shadow since Clinton inserted a missile into his tent; I didn’t miss him. He’s no doubt pimping the Taliban because he’s scared that Libya will be their next target. All that praise for civil war just might come back and haunt him.

  17. Big Q rocks the ganj pretty heavy, the CIA was all abuzz about it a couple of decades back. His short term memory is shot, as his translator will attest and on balance it’s probably made him a kinder, gentler bloodthirsty dictator. Another example of better living through chemistry.

  18. [re=417729]Cheney Guevara[/re]: I don’t think the Un has done much good in those sorts of things. And then we have their people having sex with young girls in the countries they are sent to help- Sudan, Bosnia, Congo, Burundi.

  19. Dear editors,

    I humbly request that you employ your significant influence with our friend Lori from Trend Piece to see to it that Lori produce a GODoffee magic marker doodle.

    Pretty please,

    Noonan

  20. [re=417738]risqueclay[/re]: Actually if you listen to the whole thing there were two translator. At one point the original guy just gave up because there is no translating crazy, there were long pauses with the first translator, then a young lady was brought on as a relief translator to finish this out. That speech really didn’t make any sense nor did it have a theme. The only reason he is king of kings in Africa is because he has that greeny, leafy, spendy paper. Most african governments outside of the traditional kings view him with apprehension. He only became Afrocentric once the Arab league spurned him and his nutty ways.

  21. [re=417737]dijetlo[/re]: I think you are on to something there. The CIA, NSA, DEA needs to get into Afghanistan and secretly replace all the poppy seed stocks with the ganja. Think of the synergistic possibilities!

  22. “Why did this Israeli kill the killer of Jack Kennedy? The whole world should know that Kennedy wanted to investigate the nuclear reactor of the Israeli demon,” Gaddafi said.

    Way to bury the lead, Jim.

    No wonder Obama is all “No more settlements for you, Moshe.”

  23. [re=417766]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Dammit, forgot the thread connection… “failed former Bush speechwriter bitching about Obama’s UN speech.”

  24. What would be cool is if he would play the Name Game with Ahmadinejad!

    Mahmoud-Mahmoud Bo-Bahmoud
    Bahnana-fahna foh-fahmoud
    Fee-fhi-Mo-imoud
    Mahmoud!

  25. I’ve been meaning to mount a campaign of fair play for those who are discriminated against because they look like loons. It’s unconstitutional! All I need is one guy who looks like Quaddaffi and isn’t wacko.

    Still looking.

  26. So ass-clown Khaddafi is having a like a campout sleepover at Donald Trump’s place? I suppose they’ll be up all night, combing each other’s hair, trading robes and prank-calling Hillary Clinton.

  27. [re=417740]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Actually, I think it’s spelled “Mxyzptlk”, if you can get him to say it backwards, he returns to the fifth dimension.

  28. My favorite part was wanting to move the UN somewhere else like Eastern Europe because it causes so much suffering to fly for so many hours overseas and that he got up at 4 am this morning. Those Western demons at it again.

  29. Qadaffy’s pissed cuz every time his son buys into an Italian soccer team they still won’t let him play. He doesn’t seem to understand why the defenders don’t magically part for him & let him score like they did in the Libyan league, cuz his dad is the evil dictator. This is truefax, the part about him scoring easily in the Libyan league, and buying into Italian clubs. One was Juventus, the other some backwater club run by a fat guy who was a criminal, along with his son. But I digress.

  30. does he live in a tent or is he wearing a tent?

    what the fuck– that is the most bizarre outfit have ever seen a world leader wear. love the little Africa emblem on his right breast.

  31. [re=417844]yargisbargis[/re]: I always thought they should put the UN headquarters in the third world to help the area out with the economic benefits of having the UN based there as well as maybe give a bit more incentive to the membership to try to improve the living conditions is the third world.

  32. Fidel addressed the U.N. with his customary gunbelt but (under protest) an empty holster… Mo-to-the-Q looks like he’s thisclose to whipping out a purple lightsaber and fucking people’s shit up. Grooviest authentic native costume EVAR.

    “You will be expelled from the Jedi Order!” (Bangs rag-bound boot on table:) “We will bury you!”

    Representative from Chad: “Yeah, remember when we whipped your ass in a border skirmish? We’re fucking CHAD, brah. You be suckin’.”

    “Are you threatening me?!”

  33. [re=417723]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: Ming the Merciless?! Oh god, I love you…but not in any way that could transmit Swine Flu or cooties. That was some fine commentin’ there!

  34. [quote]… Gadhafi rose and swept his robe over him … He wore a shiny black pin in the shape of Africa pinned over his heart, on his brown and tan Bedouin robes. … Gadhafi was dressed in flowing brown robe …[/quote]

    Did we forget to mention, he was wearing one or more ROBES? Brown. Oh, and tan.

  35. [re=417715]McDuff[/re]: One thing’s for sure – MQ and KJI have the same hair stylist. Come to think of it, perhaps the chemicals used to achieve such color and curl are causal. Ever noticed that women of a similar age and quaff also babble incoherently? QED

  36. The translator was definitely in over his head. Ol’ Kaddaffee-Duck will probably prominently display said head on a pike outside of his tent next week. That’s how he rolls.

  37. [re=417715]McDuff[/re]: Tune in for the Sons of Crazy Dictators Club … featuring their special guest Bébé Doc Duvalier … on Bravo at 10, right after Real Housewives of Tripoli.

    And don’t miss the premiere of The Pirates of Mogadishu this Thursday! Flavor Flav arrives in the capital of Somalia to give the boys fashion tips and check out what kind of BOO-TAY they have their hands on. Move over, Dog the Bounty Hunter! Reality TV collides with the international news of the day … only on Bravo.

  38. Seriously, I got up and he was talking, took a shower – still talking, went to work and then went to the bank and he was S T I L L T A L K I N G.

  39. [re=417653]bitchincamaro[/re]: [re=417657]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: I’ve always thought The Edge gives Qaddafi a real run for his money in terms of guitar virtuosity.

  40. [re=418015]eoberhauser[/re]: I posted something on the news roundup about how he would have made a great live blog. Then I walked around, did some shit, came back and he was still talking, but in a woman’s voice. I posted that he’d worn out the first translator and moved on to a second. And I was right, according to the newz.

    But then, he has oil, so who cares?

  41. Lesson in semetic transliteration.

    -In Hebrew, the letter J is the same as the letter Y. J is more commonly used. Jude = Yude = Jud.

    -In Hebrew, they don’t use letter vowels. So the words Jew and Jawa would look the same = Jw. The words Jude and Jedi are spelled = Jd.

    -The West has yet to invent a standard way to translate Arabic words, sounds and names into western languages. Maayamr Zqyaaaadaaaafi is just as good a way to spell it any.

  42. OMG, he looks like David Paterson; no shit.

    Seriously, though, after seeing this and then watching the outtakes from Katie Couric’s interview with Iran’s Aquavelvadinijhad, my crazy quota has been met for the day.

    Katie, though, like she did with Palin, actually got Mahmoud, in a roundabout way, to admit the historical existence of the Holocaust. Her mind-fuck of the little guy was actually rather impressive.

  43. President / “Colonel” / Chief Dwarf Thrower Qaddifi, hosting an unofficial soirée in his custom tent for the First Family of Wasilla, points discreetly at Bristol and, putting on his best James Belushi, asks Todd: “How much for de little girl?”

  44. Israel demands that you have hatred for Libya & Iran.
    You are NOT to hear or read the speeches.

    Think what John Bolton tells you to think.
    AIPAC’s MSM Propaganda 24/7

    Neocons in charge?
    Sell the 9/11 lies
    Protect the guilty

  45. [re=418549]apophaticsean[/re]: SCANDALOUS SCOOP!

    You should immediately alert the authorites that the governor of New York is sleeping in a tent in Donald Trump’s front yard. Then let’s see ’em get re-elected!

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