Wonkette
So overweight former baseball technician Curt Schilling will not be America’s new beloved Republican Ted Kennedy after all. Here are the known conditions that might have been factors in his proto-failure:
- He’s not even actually a registered Republican, which many political Beltway D.C. Boston insiders speculated would interfere with his ability to run on the Republican ticket
- Aggressive unpopularity
“Regardless of the amount of support and outreach that’s been given to me, it just did not make sense,” Schilling told someone at some point in response to all this. [CNN]
Ew. Why does he look all out of shape?
Plan B: Roger Clemens
rafflesinc: Cuz he is?
Schilling also said then he had been approached by party larders [sic] — including McCain — who advised he should consider mounting a campaign.
Well at least Schilling knows the kiss of death when he sees it. Now he can skip the whole campaign thing and start posting hysterically alarmist facebook status updates.
rafflesinc: Round is a shape.
Aggressive unpopularity = he’s just a dick, and no amount of groveling or ass massage from ESPN could make up for it. Though not being a registered republic would stop even a non-dick in his/her tracks.
He talks like SARAH PALIN! He should run. We need more jokes in politics; for a laugh
Shilling could revive the Know-Nothing party. He could be there chairman!
rafflesinc: look at someone pitch. It requires supreme bodily contortion. You wonder why all pitchers’ elbows and shoulders are not blow out after a year.
SayItWithWookies: Food + sex + McCain = That’s vaguely obscene.
ahem: blown out.
“former baseball technician” = wonderful. Perfectly squelches the idea that “success” in sports has anything to do with real life, as if Jim Bunning hasn’t already demonstrated that beyond a reasonable doubt.
SayItWithWookies: ‘Try mounting a campaign’, as a strategy espoused by John McCain = (allegedly perhaps, also) ‘Have you considered trying to bang Sarah Palin?’
Phillies GM Ed Wade had this guy pegged years ago: “A horse on the day he pitches, a horse’s ass the other four.”
He’s not actually a registered human, either.
Translation: I can’t campaign _and_ play 12 hours of Everquest every day.
The Republican Party has been going more in the “Darren Daulton” direction of late, what with Glenn “Croc Tears” Beck, Sarah “Fly Me to the Moose” Palin & Michael “I’m Black Too, Not Too Black” Steele, & Michael “Gay Porn” Schwartz. Schilling is too boring and contrived to compete with that A-Level crazy.
Doglessliberal: I love those pictures they take of the pitchers right after they have released the ball and their faces and arms are in some unbelievably inhuman contorted position.
The bloody sock should run.
Who do people think he is, another Al Franken? How many USO Tours has Mr. Shilling been on?
And who do the Republicans have on deck, John Rocker?
Way Cool Larry: Back in the day that look was known as “turning Japanese.”
Giving Terry Forster a run for his money in that shot.
DrThunderer: but it looks like a japanese flag.
Way Cool Larry: I know! There is no way the human arm can do that….