WORLD TRAVELER OVER HERE  12:03 pm September 23, 2009

A Children’s Treasury Of Important Lines From Sarah Palin’s Speech To Hong Kong Money People [UPDATE]

by Jim Newell

Mmm, Chinese fleshWin o’ the morning goes to the fanciful Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet, for its journalism! “Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin delivered her first major international speech today in Hong Kong at an investor conference. The speech was closed to the media, but The Wall Street Journal reviewed a recording of the event.” And published excerpts! That’s right, these aren’t your grandfather’s lame-o pre-released excerpts from the planned speech — they’re the hot hot hot transcriptions of Sarah Palin’s delivery! Oh boy.

  • “And we have a special place in our hearts in Alaska for the Pacific Rim… Personally, I’ve always been really interested in the ideas, too, about the land bridge. Ideas that maybe so long ago, had allowed Alaska to be physically connected to this part of our world so many years ago.” Indeed, the land bridge from Alaska to Hong Kong. This is a geological thing she thinks about constantly. Why did Jesus destroy this friendly friendship bridge with the Oriental bankers?
  • “So for Alaska, which is the air crossroads of the world, to this prosperous dynamic force in the world, Hong Kong, I bring good tidings, wishes for more blessing and vibrant life and even more freedom.” Aww, she came all the way from “the air crossroads of the world” to bring these friendly people many more buckets of freedom!
  • “Now I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time. Because I have spent my life closer to Main Street. That’s what I want to talk about is that view from Main Street.” USA! USA!
  • “You can call me a common sense conservative.” Hey, don’t steal Willow’s title!
  • “What happened to that Reagan legacy, the Reaganism that worked what happened to that?” Yeah c’mon wtf where is it, the Reagan whatever?? WHERE DID THE REAGAN THING GO? Todd did you flush the Reaganomics down the Porta-John again? Why do you keep doing that Todd!
  • “Our message, that we thought we were providing a real change, it didn’t take hold. The other ticket’s message of, I think a vague change, it was kind of nebulous, utopian sounding, but it did take hold. Now 10 months later though, a lot of Americans are now asking: ‘More government? Is that the change that we wanted? Oh, I see.’” We’ve got nothing.
  • “The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.” !!!!!!!
  • “The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”
  • “The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”
  • “The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”
  • “Common sense tells you that when you’re in a hole, you have to stop digging!” Come on guys!
  • “I can’t wait until we get that Reaganomics sense supplied again because we are going to survive, and we’re going to thrive and expand and roar back to life.” That is, unless *Todd* stops fucking up.

Excerpts From Palin’s Speech to Investors in Hong Kong [WSJ]

UPDATE: Hmm, that is bizarre, the link no longer seems to work. Perhaps the Wall Street Journal had a journalistic change-of-heart! Losers. Anyway, everyone hated her: “Several audience members reportedly walked out of Ms Palin’s speech 30 minutes before the end, citing ‘more important things to do’ or describing the talk as ‘too partisan and too much like a speech at the Republican convention.’”

 
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{ 193 comments }

nader paul kucinich gravel September 23, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Exporting Homeland Gestapo AND the Police State!

Crank Tango September 23, 2009 at 12:06 pm

“…the former Alaska governor addressed an annual conference of investors in Hong Kong in what was billed as a wide-ranging talk about governance, economics and U.S. and Asian affairs.”

Where “wide-ranging” = “rambling”

Judas Peckerwood September 23, 2009 at 12:10 pm

Ha! Those banker twats got exactly what they deserved. That was just a preview of Hell, fellas — no exit next time, though.

Scarab September 23, 2009 at 12:10 pm

“In conclusion let me just say; Chinese, Japanese, look at these! Thank you and good night King Kong.”

Crank Tango September 23, 2009 at 12:10 pm

and wait. wouldn’t that land bridge that “maybe so long ago[...] so many years ago” etc. etc. etc. have existed long before baby jebus and the dinosaurs?

Min September 23, 2009 at 12:11 pm

No, the marketplace didn’t fail. The economy did.

speedo September 23, 2009 at 12:11 pm

oh hohohhohohooooo

JMP September 23, 2009 at 12:13 pm

“What happened to that Reagan legacy, the Reaganism that worked what happened to that?”

Sarah, we’re stuck living with it; Reaganomics was brought back by Bush, remember, and just like the first time around it’s left us in a crippling recession with mountains of debt. Oh, and the Wall Street execs are now even richer, and the rest of us poorer, than we were back then. So yes, the Reagan legacy is alive and well.

ManchuCandidate September 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Lots of Cognitive Dissonance here:

1) Let’s see Bering Straights land bridge happened 10-25K years ago
Age of Earf according to wingnuts like Palin’s pastor is 6K.
Mentions of China in the bible = 0

2) “The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”
Common Sense? Unless she means Goldman Sachs then no.

I’m guessing that when Sarah’s grasp of ekonomikals is pretty tenuous like her grasp of reality.
Her idea of Supply and Demand? They’ll supply it when she demands it.

Madeline September 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm

I clicked the link, anticipating more lulz, but got “The document you requested either no longer exists or is not currently available”. Ominous!

rafflesinc September 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm

“I have a husband. I could have used a wife.”

gurukalehuru September 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Alaska is the air crossroads of the world? Not Heathrow, O’Hare, JFK, LAX or, perhaps, Hong Kong? Alaska? Really?

Meaux September 23, 2009 at 12:15 pm

No, wait, seriously, are you making this shit up? She didn’t really say those things, did she?

AnnieGetYourFun September 23, 2009 at 12:16 pm

[re=417309]Scarab[/re]: Win.

[re=417319]gurukalehuru[/re]: In the sense that a lot of flights fly over it, sure. Nobody fucking LANDS there.

imissopus September 23, 2009 at 12:16 pm

“Just then the Chinese guy jumps up and yells ‘Supplies!’

Thank you, thank you. Try the veal!”

chascates September 23, 2009 at 12:17 pm

But what about the troops? Nothing for the people who protect us from the heathen Communist hordes? Whoops, strike that last part.

Monsieur Grumpe September 23, 2009 at 12:17 pm

“Buckets of freedom” ????
Kentucky Fried Democracy!

Needs more also.

Crank Tango September 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm

[re=417312]Min[/re]: does that mean the economy stopped being common sense?

mephistopheles jefferson September 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm

She’s actually correct. Common sense would dictate that the people running a Ponzi scheme will, in fact, fuck those investing in it out of their money and laugh about it later at the full buffet orgy. Fail? I say ‘win’, my imaginary friends…I say ‘win’.

magic titty September 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm

“…Ideas that maybe so long ago, had allowed Alaska to be physically connected to this part of our world so many years ago.”

Poetry. Fucking poetry.

Fighting Bill September 23, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Epic fail. She spoke exactly as common sense would expect it to.

HipHopOpotamus September 23, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Did someone write this in Chinese and then enter it into alta vista’s babelfish for the Palinizer could read it?

Scruffy_The_Janitor September 23, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Dammit…I’m stuck at work and Palin is stuck on stupid!!!!

Snarkalicious September 23, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Holy shit, she’s a medium. I swear to Christ she must have been channeling Faulkner, or perhaps Kerouac ripped to the teats on a mix of Opium and Benzedrine, trying like hell to be ironic. It’s the only explanation that doesn’t hurt my brain.

V572625694 September 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Is Todd still banging Greta? That’s what everyone really was hoping to find out. And what about Levi’s mom? How’s she doing?

Wings September 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Sarah! The gift that keeps on giving.

Prommie September 23, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I have a special place in my heart for a Pacific rimjob from Palin, the idea that not so many years in the future, she may use her tongue and lips to stimulate my anus sometime not too far away to come. To honor our troops, also.

jetjaguar September 23, 2009 at 12:24 pm

“It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

jesus christ, the translators must have instantly killed themselves after that one

friendlyskies September 23, 2009 at 12:24 pm

[re=417317]Madeline[/re]: Hah. hah. The bankers have discovered a fifth columnist, or rather, a fifth blogger, in their midst. And if s/he survives Guantánamo, I will personally buy them a fifth of whatever they want.

SayItWithWookies September 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Here’s the current link: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125368057547633229.html

And wow — that’s true to form. Do the heads of people south of the equator spin in the opposite direction from ours when she talks this way?

S.Luggo September 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Did she order out? I hear that the fried spare ribs are to die for.

hobospacejunkie September 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm

A lot of Americans (probably rendered “alot” on her teleprompter) = the shouty ones to Snowbilly. Refreshing to see that even a year later a prepared speech can’t keep her from sounding like Carrie Cumjeans talking about whirled peas.

MarSF September 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Those Communist Bankers should ask for their money back.

Snarkalicious September 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm

[re=417310]Crank Tango[/re]: Meh. She’s lying to yellow (light brown?) folk for money. Jebus loves it.

the problem child September 23, 2009 at 12:26 pm
seriouscat September 23, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Remeber that one time you quit your governorship? So why do we (and by we I mean China) care what you have to say again?

eclecticbrotha September 23, 2009 at 12:27 pm

“And we have a special place in our hearts in Alaska for the Pacific Rim…”

“We cherish the practice of licking the anus of rich Chinese bankers in exchange campaign contributions.”

“Now I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time. Because I have spent my life closer to Main Street. That’s what I want to talk about is that view from Main Street.”

I would love to stand up here and speak about shit that might actually be relevant to you guys but just pronouncing all these big words is causing my braim to bleed internally, so instead I’m gonna just blather on about shit I think unemployed trailer trash finds comp-elling conversation. Oh shit, I just blacked out a little bit when I tried to say ‘compelling conversation.’ Fuck! I just did it again!”

“The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

*facepalm*

You can almost hear Randy Sheunemann fapping away in the background.

bureaucrap September 23, 2009 at 12:27 pm

“I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing…”

Actually, both Hong Kong AND Main Street probably would very much have liked to have heard her thoughts on those issues, whihc actually ARE quite important. Of course, she didn’t even know what those phrases mean, much less have any considered opinion about them.

But it doesn’t matter. The bankers were just there to stare at her boobs.

Mad Brahms September 23, 2009 at 12:28 pm

I’m still trying to parse the grammar of “became exactly as common sense would expect it to”. She’s a linguistic pioneer!

So if the Economy started failing under Bush II, and it was exactly as common sense would have predicted, then this whole mess is… the fault of Reaganomics, which is awesome, apparently? Not only can she reinvent the rules of the English language at will, she’s also skilled at time-displacement, apparently. We’re screwed, guys.

bureaucrap September 23, 2009 at 12:28 pm

“More important things to do” — pretty much anything would fall into that category.

Voyou Charmant September 23, 2009 at 12:29 pm

“The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

“The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

“The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

“The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

“The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.”

She is so motherfucking stupid.

grendel September 23, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=417336]HipHopOpotamus[/re]: Altavista? Is it 1998 again?

bureaucrap September 23, 2009 at 12:30 pm

BTW the link seems to be working again. At least it did for me. Perhaps they’re just blocking you personally, Jim.

Katydid September 23, 2009 at 12:32 pm

If Obama had any sense of humor, he’d put her on some FAA security list, and not let her back into the country.

Mahousu September 23, 2009 at 12:32 pm

My husband and my children, they’re part [unintelligible] Eskimo, Alaskan natives.
Well, for once she was accurate. I’m assuming [unintelligible] is what she actually said, not some transcription mark.

jodyleek September 23, 2009 at 12:32 pm

My cat would do a better job discussing economics than this twit. Did I mention my cat is dead?

[re=417331]magic titty[/re]: More beat poetry fodder for Shatner, I hope.

Anonymous Office Zombie September 23, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Regan is God, Free Markets, Regan is God, Common Sense, Regan is God, Main Street, Re-gan, Re-gan, Reganomics, Ronnie Mc Raygun 4evar, Bootstraps, Regan, Regan, Regan, Regan, Regan, Regan…

hiphophitler September 23, 2009 at 12:33 pm

So THAT’S

Norbert September 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm

“Now I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time. Because I have spent my life closer to Main Street. That’s what I want to talk about is that view from Main Street.”

A masterful deployment of praeteritio that would not have been out of place in Periclean Athens.

eclecticbrotha September 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Palin, whenever I want to address “quantitative easing” I do what most respectable Chinese businessmen do. I hire a good hooker.

Dashboard_Buddha September 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm

A man stumbled on a bottle while walking on the beach. He picked it up and saw that it had a cork in it. He pulled out the cork and an enormous Genie appeared. The Genie said, “Master, make a wish and I will grant it”.

The man thought and he said, “I always thought that if we had a bridge to Asia we could achieve better understanding and might achieve peace”.

The Genie replied, “Sorry master…that is impossible, even for me. No structure would be able to bridge such a vast expanse. Please pick something else.”

The man though for a minute more and he said, “Ok, I want to be able to understand Sarah Palin’s speeches.”

The Genie was quiet for a moment and then said, “4 lanes or 6?”

hiphophitler September 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm

So THAT’S who’s been writing the instructions for Chinese-made small appliances!

Terry September 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm

[re=417319]gurukalehuru[/re]:

Well, when you are trying to sleep in a hotel in Anchorage at 6am and the cargo planes start taking off one after the other from Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport, the place does seem a little crossroady.

queeraselvis v 2.0 September 23, 2009 at 12:36 pm

“Now I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time. Because I have spent my life closer to Main Street. That’s what I want to talk about is that view from Main Street.”

Because I have no idea what on earth any of this economic jibberjabber shit means, I’m going to talk about the shit that I do know: OMIGAWD NOBAMA GWAN KILL MA BABEE TRIG WIF DEATH PANELZ. Caribou fucking for the troops, also. USA USA USA!

jagorev September 23, 2009 at 12:37 pm

This was an awesome parody, Jim.

Wait, this wasn’t a parody? Huh.

Doglessliberal September 23, 2009 at 12:37 pm

[re=417366]jodyleek[/re]: I thought the same thing about the poetry. Some is just ready to go into the Child’s Treasury along with “He threw me out in Denver cuz I wouldn’t suck his dick.”

AnnieGetYourFun September 23, 2009 at 12:38 pm

“That’s what I want to talk about is that view from Main Street.”

Does the view look like Russia, perchance?

doxastic September 23, 2009 at 12:38 pm

What happened to the Reaganism? Um, I think it expanded quickly in all directions, then ran out of energy and collapsed in on itself, becoming the rapatious blackhole we now call “the financial sector.” Or, for the religious, Jesus took a giant shit on it.

choinski September 23, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Ich bin ein Pacific Rimmer!

RoscoePColtraine September 23, 2009 at 12:39 pm

The shroom cock-head that is Palin’s logic and speaking style snagged the Pacific Rim.

Hart88 September 23, 2009 at 12:40 pm

WSJ took down the article. Go figure.

jodyleek September 23, 2009 at 12:41 pm

[re=417372]hiphophitler[/re]: You make very special happy time WIN!

doxastic September 23, 2009 at 12:41 pm

When my students pull the old “well I could talk about the content from the course, but instead I’d like to focus on what’s really important–namely, my uninformed vague beliefs tangentially related to the topic,” they get an F rather than speaker fees.

econdave September 23, 2009 at 12:41 pm

Common sense tells you that when you’re in a hole, you have to stop digging!

Kind of like how we threw the Republicans out of office and canned your a**?

Mad Brahms September 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm

[re=417373]Terry[/re]: And Anchorage used to actually be a passanger stop for flights to Asia, too, back when planes needed to refuel more frequently. But that traffic has gone the way of Shannon and Montreal Mirabel.

At any rate, I suppose it was a crossroads when (ahem) Reagan was president.

slappypaddy September 23, 2009 at 12:43 pm

lemmee guess, cuzz i’m about as clueless as babble spass — she’s running for president of hong kong on the republicant ticket. that’s it, right? otherwise, inexplicable.

ChernobylSoup v2 September 23, 2009 at 12:46 pm

I’ll tell you what happened to the parts of Reaganomics that worked. They were eaten by all the Reaganimics that didn’t work. ‘Cause Reaganomics, you know, causes starvation.

yargisbargis September 23, 2009 at 12:48 pm

“And we have a special place in our hearts in Alaska for the Pacific Rim… Personally, I’ve always been really interested in the ideas, too, about the land bridge.”

Wow, she really f*cking said that. Wow. What snark can top that? I launch a challenge.

A Better American Than You! September 23, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Since Sarah is “traditional” I used Babelfish to translate into traditional Chinese and then into Dutch and then back into English. This should be the method for evaluating all her speeches.

“And we have a special of our heart in peaceful edge Alaska… Personally, I always am really interested to the idea, this way also, concerning viaduct. That idea perhaps that in former days, before permitting our world entirely, Alaska link this part of a lot of years.”

widget09 September 23, 2009 at 12:49 pm

What, what, what, no mention of the giant menacing Putin Head ?

Way Cool Larry September 23, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Of course her opening joke was a classic– why do Chinese people’s eyes slant? Oh no, not rice again! (holds side of head with both hands)

Way Cool Larry September 23, 2009 at 12:53 pm

“can’t wait until we get that Reaganomics sense supplied again because we are going to survive”

what language is this?

sati demise September 23, 2009 at 12:53 pm

[re=417343]Prommie[/re]: thats what all those guy were thinking before they walked out… having to listen to that voice and the Palin word salad had them reconsidering the cost benefit ratio.

Barrett808 September 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm
bitchincamaro September 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm

I attribute her total incoherence to a bad reaction to the all-you-can-eat pu pu platter in the green room.

(Not really; I just like saying “pu pu platter”).

RoscoePColtraine September 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Did she use the word fungible? Oil, currency, Chinese people….

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2009 at 12:55 pm

If our world is only some 4,000 years old, that land bridge must have collapsed about twenty mintues ago.

Prommie September 23, 2009 at 12:56 pm

[re=417397]yargisbargis[/re]: She would fail the Reverse Turing Test. Noone would believe there is a human in that box.

WadISay September 23, 2009 at 12:58 pm

One senior fund manager told The Times that the 80-minute lecture, and the lack of an opportunity to fire any questions at Ms Palin, was a disappointment. “You would think that with her team of speechwriters and a supposedly media-free environment Palin could have afforded to be either funny or thought-provoking, but she was neither,” she said.

I dunno, sounds like she hit the “funny” thing out of the park.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2009 at 12:59 pm

[re=417323]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Exactly! Calling Alaska “the air crossroads of the world” gives new meaning to “flyover state.”

One Yield Regular September 23, 2009 at 1:00 pm

If a land bridge to Alaska existed right now, Asia would be blasting it to the bottom of the sea.

shadowMark September 23, 2009 at 1:00 pm

In some Starbucks right now Matt Latimer is reading this on his Mac and frowning and sipping tea and thinking, Fuck, I could have done better than that. Couldn’t I?

dijetlo September 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm

Well, when it comes to common, you have to admit Sister Sara is an expert. I just wonder if it’s wise to let her loose around Chinese bankers These are the folks who finance most of our debt, I don’t think they realized just how common most of us are over here. Still, I haven’t read that she shot ping pong balls from her lady bits as she delivered her thoughts on the ekonomics which qualifies as a successful speech all things considered.
So let me be the first to say, well done ex-Govenor Point Guard, you kept your panties on and for you, that was as much as we could reasonably ask.

jodyleek September 23, 2009 at 1:04 pm

[re=417404]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I believe she was speaking in tongues.

norbizness September 23, 2009 at 1:05 pm

She’s yuan in a million!

Gopherit September 23, 2009 at 1:05 pm

[re=417315]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Hey, her 6 year communications degree prepared her for anything. You don’t blow that many people without learning a thing or two about economics.

poiuyt3000 September 23, 2009 at 1:08 pm

Note that the Times online article refers to her “Fecebook” page:
“She has recently used her popular Fecebook page to express her opposition to the Obama plan, claiming that it would create “death panels” for old people.”
This is almost too easy!

shadowMark September 23, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=417398]A Better American Than You![/re]: She’s not going to post a transcript of her speech on Facebook, just a word cloud of it.

Gopherit September 23, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=417337]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: she got paid in the low six figures for that. Fuck, I hope it was in yuan.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2009 at 1:12 pm

For anyone who read the Vanity Fair article about Levi Johnston and the Palin family, the amount of time Mrs. Palin obviously spent on her speech comes as no surprise.

Why did this group hire Mrs. Palin to come across the Pacific Ocean to speak (or, to be more precise, not speak) about international finance?

Kanye West wasn’t available to lecture on nuclear physics?

cynbot September 23, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Ha! The bankers walked out before the end. Quitters. Takes one to know one.

germansteel September 23, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Sarah is the most dangerous individual in the US of A right now. She is walkin’ talkin’ proof that you can get paid “in the low six figures” for a 40 minute speech, and still be the dumbest fucking, poorest educated and uneducable, platitude spewing moran in the world. Why – our kids might be thinking – go to school, study, work hard, and know jack shit when an incoherent boob job like her can con even supposedly intelligent furriners into paying her that kind of money/yen?

El Pinche September 23, 2009 at 1:13 pm

“Common sense tells me I should eat poison rat dick & egg drop soup.”

BerkeleyFarm September 23, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=417438]Gopherit[/re]: I saw $300,000 on Mudflats.

My question is, are there any pictures of her at this speech or reports of her appearance? Because I’m convinced that she sequestered herself from public view after major cosmetic surgery. Is she (especially her neck) looking exceptionally “rested”?

binarian September 23, 2009 at 1:16 pm

The marketplace didn’t fail. It became exactly as common sense would expect it to.

Well, discounting the incoherency of the sentence construction here, she’s kinda right. The marketplace caught up with the insane banking practices and punished the major players by sending them into bankruptcy. But Eskimo Barbie’s fellow Republicans couldn’t let THAT happen so they propped them up….see Sarah? Reganism didn’t go anywhere….it’s alive and well.

shadowMark September 23, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Tundra Grifter September 23, 2009 at 1:21 pm

[re=417403]Way Cool Larry[/re]: True Story. When we lived in San Francisco’s North Beach, the rice cooker belonging to one of our neighbors caught fire. Asked by the Fire Department how long it had been on, the answer was “About three years.”

ericstoltz September 23, 2009 at 1:23 pm
widestanceromancer September 23, 2009 at 1:23 pm

What the audience really wanted to know was whether or not her orgasms were faked in ‘Nailin’ Palin’.

Come here a minute September 23, 2009 at 1:23 pm

If I was in a hole, common sense would tell me to dig myself a staircase to get out.

Tina Fey is the best.

AbstinenceOnly Ed September 23, 2009 at 1:24 pm

“Common sense tells you that when you’re in a hole, you have to stop digging, unless you want to end up in some godforsaken shithole like China, am I right?”

TGY September 23, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=417319]gurukalehuru[/re]: Juneau is an important travel hub for caribou.

Click September 23, 2009 at 1:26 pm

[re=417346]SayItWithWookies[/re]: In that accompanying pic she looks like she may have picked up a Chin the night before.

AxmxZ September 23, 2009 at 1:26 pm

“It became exactly as common sense would expect it to” is crying out to be the new “I can has cheezburger.”

comicbookguy September 23, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=417397]yargisbargis[/re]: So I told geology, thanks but no thanks for that land bridge to Asia.

comicbookguy September 23, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=417419]WadISay[/re]: I wish she was in a media-free environment.

Satorist September 23, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Just say “thanks but no thanks” to a Land Bridge to Nowhere.

iantenna September 23, 2009 at 1:42 pm

the marketplace started eating babies?

Click September 23, 2009 at 1:45 pm

Congratulations Sarah, for showing the Chinese that America has it’s own brand of worthless plastic crap.

chascates September 23, 2009 at 1:46 pm

I still think there will be a showdown between Sarah and Michele Bachmann as to who will be the first woman President. Things could get ugly. How much farther to the right could either of them go? Who will speak in tongues first?

pub_option September 23, 2009 at 1:47 pm

The land bridge was either washed away by Noah’s Flood, or it fell down when too many dinosaurs tried to cross it. See, no inconsistency.

TeddyS September 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Governor Palin, my name is Xing Zao Jung and I am the international director for the Bank of China bond funds. Since you are obviously ignorant about economics, would you please show us your tits?

Click September 23, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=417499]chascates[/re]: Jello-wrestling could be the new debate forum!

stumpycuse September 23, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Doesn’t China pretty much own the US? Shouldn’t we be taking economic lessons from them?

torera September 23, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Actually: props to wsj for the literal transcription. I hope whoever authorized hiring her does the cliche Chinese shamefaced apology and resignation very publicly.

Gopherit September 23, 2009 at 1:54 pm

[re=417507]stumpycuse[/re]: We should take economic lessons from someone who would loan money to people like us? Hahahahahaha!

Atheist Nun September 23, 2009 at 2:00 pm

“You got Wharr in my Garbl!”
“You got Garbl in my Wharr!”

“Sarah Palin’s wharrgarbl and Chinese people speaking Engrish: Two great tastes that taste great together.”

“Ideas that maybe so long ago, had allowed Alaska to be physically connected to this part of our world so many years ago.”

Long ago ideas that also maybe so long ago kinda, also, had allowed Alaska of so long ago to be also physically connected also in years gone by to this part of our world so many years ago. Also.

octupletsmom September 23, 2009 at 2:03 pm

In her market paragraph it sounds like she’s going to start putting econometrics macro equations all over the blackboard. But SHE’S SAVING IT FOR NEXT TIME.

What a tease that woman is!

geminisunmars September 23, 2009 at 2:04 pm

C’mon – the joke’s on us: We didn’t even think she’d show up, as usual.

I wonder how many of dem Asians who thought they were fluent in English decided that they’d better take some refresher English classes after that talk?

Meaux September 23, 2009 at 2:05 pm

[re=417497]Click[/re]: WIN

teebob2000 September 23, 2009 at 2:12 pm

[re=417456]shadowMark[/re]: zomg!!!!!111!!! It’s the PM on September 23rd!!!!11

BerkeleyFarm September 23, 2009 at 2:13 pm

In response to my own query, there are photos floating around. She has definitely had cosmetic surgery. Her face and neck were looking more ironed than her jacket and the lips look just a wee bit plumper as well. It’s subtle, whoever did it did good work.

Click September 23, 2009 at 2:14 pm

So her new title is “Sarah Palin, FAG?”
Has a nice ring to it.

teebob2000 September 23, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=417539]BerkeleyFarm[/re]: The organizers probably slipped her some tiger penis tea before she went on, which, as we all know, does wonders for puffy, sagging skin.

desertwind September 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Were I to find out just how many Hong Kong dollars she was paid for this little caper, I’d bawl like a little bitty baby.

Oldskool September 23, 2009 at 2:30 pm

“…many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time.”

No way in hell did she say that. WSJ is trying to be Wonkette-ey.

Click September 23, 2009 at 2:31 pm

If Sarah cocked her head sideways in that photo she’d look like a cunt instead of just sounding like one.

GreatOldOnesParty September 23, 2009 at 2:35 pm

[re=417380]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Wtf does she mean?
Main Street, US&A; or Arterial Road 1, PRC?
I imagine the view from the latter is QUITE different from the former.
Does even half her jibba-jabba even translate into anything them Sinoese understand/give a shit about?
And I hope she mentioned “small towns” because BFE in the PRC is exactly like ours: backwards, illiterate and irredeemably racist/xenophobic.

Chickensmack September 23, 2009 at 2:42 pm

[re=417309]Scarab[/re]: You just won the whole internet with that line.

Catholics4Condoms September 23, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Growing up I was always told, “You have a lot of book learning, but you have no common sense” I got tired of being accused of lacking this “common sense”. Common sense is what appears to be the case is the case. Common sense tells us that the sun revolves around the earth. It comes up over in the east in the morning and goes down in the West in the evening…common sense! Common sense expects the market to make everyone rich. Look how sucessful Bernie Madoff got. If someone gets rich from the market common sense tells us that everyone will get rich. Let’s take our mortgage payment money to Vegas, Baby!

PerhapsSo September 23, 2009 at 2:43 pm

She is like a televangelist. The market isn’t the problem. It’s your lack of belief in the market that is the problem. Close your eyes and say, “I believe in the market!” and maybe the market will come back to life, right, Tinkerbell?

AnnieGetYourFun September 23, 2009 at 2:43 pm

[re=417346]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes, they do. Hong Kong, however, is in the northern hemisphere.

Talking Moron, Losing Face

AnnieGetYourFun September 23, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Stupid Internet Explorer, I didn’t click Submit Comment. That last comment was supposed to end with “Talking Moron, Losing Face: starring Sarah Palin”.

sezme September 23, 2009 at 2:48 pm

I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows … I have spent my life closer to Main Street.

Love how her speechwriters (BIll Kristol?) took the opportunity to use a lot of words they knew she wouldn’t understand, so that she could point out she doesn’t understand them.

? ev'rything September 23, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Thanks for the land bridge joke, Dash_Board Buddha. And Click, the plastic crap joke has won my LOL of the Thread Award.
Palin may not be good for much, but can we safely say she is the national comedy bicycle?

Crazybroad September 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Now I know that many of you, maybe you’re hoping to hear me discuss the derivations of the formula for effective rate of protection, followed by a brief discussion of the monetary approach to the balance of payments. If time allows, a quick summary of factor price equalization. Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time….

That has GOT to be the funniest fucking thing I have ever heard in my life!!!!!! I’m willing to bet serious cash that the Koreans ask her to refund her speaking fee. [re=417626]sezme[/re]: I was surprised she could even pronounce them.

Needed more 9/11, though.

populucious September 23, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Common sense tells you that when you’re in a hole, you have to stop digging!

And yet here you are, in public, talking, still.

Darkness September 23, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing

Hey, lookie, someone did a word cloud of calculated risk to write her talk.

Go Figure September 23, 2009 at 3:20 pm

SARAH PALIN ~ PALLING AROUND WITH COMMUNISTS

Airhead of the world

Uh Oh! Sarah P has a new buzzword: Common sense conservative.
Indeed, she uses the *common sense* term 9 times in the excerpts. I see great potential for a drinking game here.
I wonder how many times she actually said it in the course of the evening?

GreatOldOnesParty September 23, 2009 at 3:27 pm

[re=417650]populucious[/re]: Unless, of course, you want to get to China. In which case keep right on digging.

mardam422 September 23, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Did she use a Teleprompter?

friendlyskies September 23, 2009 at 3:45 pm

[re=417678]Go Figure[/re]: Common sense = I’ve read fewer than 50 nonfiction books in my life, including the Bible, and yet I still know more than all biologists about evolution, all economists about economics, all historians about history, etc.

It is the perfect catchphrase for the Beck/Palin left. And while I enjoy the musical sounds of Ann Coulter and George Will weeping into their witty (and now useless) repartee, we should still attack it now, before it grows out of control.

sati demise September 23, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=417719]friendlyskies[/re]: According to Levi, Sarah watches “Wedding Shows”. (I do not know what these are)

Bowdoin September 23, 2009 at 4:46 pm

[re=417319]gurukalehuru[/re]: If you draw a straight line around and up and down on a globe, they converge in Wasilla. And everywhere else on earth. It’s all in how you draw the line.

Bowdoin September 23, 2009 at 4:49 pm

[re=417339]Snarkalicious[/re]: Nope. She studied up on Miss Teenage South Carolina. A million hits on YouTube.

One more.

Click September 23, 2009 at 4:56 pm

[re=417698]mardam422[/re]: No she uses a word fluffer before going on.

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2009 at 5:02 pm

That would be a great nome-de-Wonkette: “Pacific Rimmer.”

Or, “Specific Rimmer.”

Mull_Man September 23, 2009 at 5:03 pm

[re=417372]hiphophitler[/re]: sister double win

Tundra Grifter September 23, 2009 at 5:08 pm

[re=417616]Catholics4Condoms[/re]: If sense is common then why is it so rare?

ShiningMathPath September 23, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[re=417539]BerkeleyFarm[/re]: You’re probably right about the surgery — Palin knows that because her primary competition in Carrie Prejean

lampadadog September 23, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Coming to the links late in the day, I observe that the WSJ cleaned it up by removing some of the more, ahhhh, questionable remarks. Because they are journalists, pursuing Truth.

rocktonsammy September 23, 2009 at 5:31 pm

SP + Common Sense = Thomas Paine spinning in his grave.

HEY CHINA! SEND AN EIGHT FOOT BASKETBALL PLAYER TO THE MILWAUKEE BUCKS AND YOU CAN KEEP SARAH AND BRISTOL. WE KEEP TRIG AND PIPER.

lampadadog September 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm

“Common sense” tells us that when unregulated companies are allowed to trade fabricated mortgate nothings as if they were a valuable security, the whole thing is eventually going to fall apart. “Common sense” was perhaps surprised that large companies had thrown themselves so whole-balance-sheetedly into this nonsense–depending on how pessimistic or optimistic “common sense” was feeling about “human nature” at the time.

“Common sense” tells us that “human nature” is to want to hold onto money until you are compelled to give it up. Thus, “common sense” tells us that companies comprised of “humans” don’t want to give up their money to cover things like “pre-existing conditions” or “recently hired people” or “expensivola treatments” unless compelled to do it. “Common sense” tells us that the “nature” of uninsured “humans” is to prefer avoiding bankruptcy, but also to avoid spending their money on astronomically priced insurance unless compelled to do it. I love this “common sense” and “human nature”. Beautiful stuff.

lampadadog September 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Common sense tells us that China is flirting with nationally subsidized Champions by offering them pacific rims.

problemwithcaring September 23, 2009 at 5:40 pm

[re=417507]stumpycuse[/re]: Slave labor. End of lesson.

5erfun September 23, 2009 at 5:40 pm

To paraphrase ‘Wings’: Sarah, the grift that keeps on grifting!

problemwithcaring September 23, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Is common sense the new talking/listening to “your gut”?

Steven Colbert needs to get on this.

S. Cullen Bonz September 23, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Palin was excited to go shopping for furs after the speech because she heard there was a Mink Dynasty in these here parts.

WesternCorrespondent September 23, 2009 at 6:56 pm

The WSJ also had excerpts from the speech at http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2009/09/23/excerpts-of-sarah-palins-speech-to-investors-in-hong-kong/
[re=417331]magic titty[/re]:

I can’t wait until William Shatner gets ahold of this…

you September 23, 2009 at 6:59 pm

hopefully this will be the last we hear from this alaskan twit. sarah palin was a little to close to being vice president for my comfort and no matter how funny it is to read her nonsensical dribble, the joke is still on us for living in a place that allowed her to get as close as she did…you know, give or take a few percentage points. and trig. also.

Click September 23, 2009 at 7:02 pm

[re=417938]S. Cullen Bonz[/re]: I hear Todd requested that she bring him home a pair of nicely tanned chinks.

zhubajie September 23, 2009 at 7:03 pm

She has a Fecebook (sic) page, according to the Times. Is that like Facebook for pervs?

zhubajie September 23, 2009 at 7:05 pm

[re=417340]V572625694[/re]: Hopefully he’s enjoying some HK girls.

zhubajie September 23, 2009 at 7:14 pm

[re=417365]Mahousu[/re]: Being a minority is not a good thing in China. Minzu are not more respected than Indians in the USA. Chinese people in China do NOT feel like a minority.

Click September 23, 2009 at 7:16 pm

[re=418006]zhubajie[/re]: It’s where losers go to talk shit.

Anita Cocktail September 23, 2009 at 7:17 pm

God, how I hate that photo of her. (Well, even apart from the fact that it’s her.) Her mouth looks like lady parts.

BerkeleyFarm September 23, 2009 at 7:59 pm

[re=417852]ShiningMathPath[/re]: Absolutely. Nobody in the RP would listen to her if she looked like Olympia Snowe. It’s all about the ‘starbursts’.

She looked very nice for her age before but she is definitely very competitive. I wonder if Murdoch paid for it? I was suspecting that she was hoping she could use the various slush funds but I don’t think that would go ;).

NYNYNY September 23, 2009 at 8:13 pm

[re=417352]seriouscat[/re]: They booked this when she was still governor of Snowtopia, and David Hasslehoff wouldn’t answer his phone.

NYNYNY September 23, 2009 at 8:20 pm

[re=417456]shadowMark[/re]: Wow, the word “September” sure is used a lot around here.

nailinpalinnow September 23, 2009 at 9:01 pm

Let’s not forget everyone that The Wall Street Journal is now owned lock stock and barrel by Rupert Murdoch, the one and only media tycoon that also has Palin locked into a book deal, and who also happened to arrange her Hong Kong speech.

So that’s why the Wall Street Jrn is the only media outlet that “obtained” Palin’s speech…but what light does this throw on their decision to yank the printed speech…hmmm, Rupurt thought better of it, it seems. Perhaps he intends to recycle the speech at her next engagement – after a month of practice she’s practically got all the words in the right places by now.

nailinpalinnow September 23, 2009 at 9:08 pm

And, in case anybody missed it, here is the text of Palin’s speech – as leaked by Tina Fey ; )

http://nailinpalinnow.blogspot.com/2009/09/exclusive-sneak-peek-at-tina-feys.html

ladymacbeth September 23, 2009 at 9:09 pm

sorry sarah, pretty sure ord or atl or LHR or something i’m forgetting are ‘air crossroads’ of the world.

but perhaps i’ve underestimated the novosibirsk – juneau route.

nailinpalinnow September 23, 2009 at 9:25 pm

LOL ladymcbeth, and don’t forget that all important Yakutst to Fairbanks air highway.

Robert Zimmerframe September 23, 2009 at 9:38 pm

Well, hopefully she’ll be stopped at US Customs and have all her fake designer clothes and pirated cds and dvds she bought with her talking money confiscated, also.

zhubajie September 23, 2009 at 9:51 pm

Another account of the Palinization of Hong Kong: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/23/sarah-palin-hong-kong-speech

zhubajie September 23, 2009 at 9:54 pm

What I wonder is, when she got to her hotel room, did she get the usual phone call asking if she wanted a hooker? What did she do then? Give Miao-miao a copy of The Four Spiritual Laws?

Mr Blifil September 23, 2009 at 10:50 pm

Does this mean the next installment of Nailin’ Palin will be shot in Bangkok?

Paul Tardy September 23, 2009 at 11:55 pm

Your just jealous that someone paid $63k to have dinner with her.

gargamel2 September 23, 2009 at 11:58 pm

[re=417366]jodyleek[/re]: yes, more Shatner! these are gems.

Click September 24, 2009 at 12:11 am

[re=418136]Paul Tardy[/re]: Only if she still doesn’t have to fuck him.

nailinpalinnow September 24, 2009 at 1:05 am

The WSJ playing hide and seek with the speech is somewhat dubious, if not nefarious, and I posted about these Wonkette happenings and linked back to here. If you are curious, check it out at http://nailinpalinnow.blogspot.com

Thanks Wonkette for saving the snippets you did! I too am hoping from some Shatman action regarding these and soon!

LowerdPeninsula September 24, 2009 at 1:34 am

This. is. fucking….AMAZING. Should I feel dirty that I’m impressed by her certifiable insanity? She delivers the most amzing, most creative, most mesmerizing mind-fucks of any American politician. Her thought process is like a stench so powerful, so pungent, so offensive, that it overpowers every other human sense.

CaliforniaMike September 24, 2009 at 2:16 am

[re=417499]chascates[/re]: Whoever is willing to run in the nude and blow voters will win.

avoidinggradingpapers September 24, 2009 at 3:43 am

“Maybe some thoughts on quantitative easing, but that’s for next time.” Kinda like “I’ll get back to you on that, Katie.” I bet she never did…

BobLoblawLawBlog September 24, 2009 at 3:51 am

So for Alaska, which is the air crossroads of the world, to this prosperous dynamic force in the world, Hong Kong, I bring good tidings…

And for Sarah Palin’s head, which is the air crossroads of her ears, I wish a visit to the Wizard.

Athar September 24, 2009 at 11:04 am

“Just a blank sheet of paper,” Karl Rove snickered to himself, “a completely blank sheet of paper.”

zippy123 September 24, 2009 at 4:27 pm

Maybe she’s going to demand that Metro add a Hong Kong stop to the Red line – just put the tracks on the land bridge between Shady Grove/Fairbanks and downtown Hong Kong.

zoink September 24, 2009 at 9:58 pm

wink

comicbookguy September 25, 2009 at 12:14 am

Ladies and gentlemen, I think what we have just witnessed just might be, in secret, the biggest game of high stakes buzzword bingo ever played.

That may or may not be true, but one thing is certain and that is this, if it is true, then whoever picked “quantitative” is going home very happy. “I thought she was brilliant!” he was quoted as saying.

worrierqueen September 25, 2009 at 11:06 am

[re=417319]gurukalehuru[/re]: “Alaska is the air crossroads of the world?”

Only for nukes.

alkybookworm September 25, 2009 at 2:17 pm

My god! Sarah, you know that big body of water you see whenever you go down to the docks in Wasilla? That is the Cook Inlet, a part of the PACFIC OCEAN!!! Yes, you don’t really need to visit the Pacific Rim. You’re already there.

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

JerryH September 28, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Honestly, some years ago, the Anchorage International Airport was once known as the air crossroad of the world because we had so many international flights stopping off to refuel, and board passengers and cargo, however not all did the cargo and passenger thing! The last I heard the term was about 30 years ago, so don’t know if it is still considered that now. I use to be an air traffic controller here in Alaska back then !

And I DO NOT support anything concerning Caribou Barbie !!!

Just sayin !

gogoto October 23, 2009 at 4:43 pm

fuck you sara palin for maken it a spor to kill wolks gist fuck you

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