Um… Cosmopolitan has WON whatever time of day allotted for sex! Let’s also throw in 1982, Cosmopolitan has also WON 1982, for this was the year when Scott Brown, the Republican running around in bad faith pretending he has a chance at winning Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat, was awarded the magazine’s prestigious “America’s Sexiest Man” centerfold, which is like the “Ted Kennedy seat” of gay pornography. Ahh, he is naked, so so naked!

Your Wonkette Morning Editor has been trying to zoom in and study this important historical document from 1982 A.D., but the glyphs from this time period are almost prohibitively small. Here’s what we are pretty sure is happening:

The 22-year old Brown is 6’2″ and is nicknamed “Mr. Muscles.” Went to Boston College, adorably sexy, likes tall girls with beautiful legs and also hair. [OMG I have hair!!!—Ed.] Also this special lady shouldn’t always wear jeans, because seriously, jeans? What is this, 1982?

[Cosmo via Ben Smith]

Donate with CCDonate with CC


  1. Did Scott watch too much pornography as a 10-year-old, at that crucial point in a boy’s life when he really really dislikes homosexuals, because he doesn’t want to fall into homosexuality? I’m not saying he did. Then again, he hasn’t denied it, either.

  2. [re=417171]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: The fact that he’s able to cover everything with just his wrist seems fairly impressive; or rather, indicative that he is, well, rather unimpressive.

  3. I guess it’s only appropriate that his constituents see him the way most of the Republican caucus will. Although for the real Republican experience they should turn out the lights and get drunk, then call their wives and say they’ll be home late.

  4. [re=417220]JMP[/re]: HA. That’s an old modeling trick. Turn the thermostat down to -15 and presto, changeo: rock hard nips, nonexistent goodies. Tingly goosebumps, also.

  5. Remember when we wouldn’t let girls be Miss America because they posed for nekkid pittures when they were 22? I think this is clear evidence that the world has changed for the better.

  6. That was 27 years ago? He’s aged well. Still got great posture and a distinguished-man haircut too. Would even give Ensign a run for the prettiest-senator title.

Comments are closed.

Previous articleHere Is The Set List From The Asian Stop Of Palin’s Clowning Tour
Next article