Wonkette
It’s the future in Hong Kong already, which means that all the details about Palin’s mega-secret speech to some investment company have arrived! Oh but first of all, Mazel Tov to Meg Stapleton, who will not be needing to feed some terrible lie into Google Translator only to at first frantically discover that there is no “English-to-Asian” option and later have to explain in Korean or Tagalog to the Hong Konger investors that Sarah “would house speech Vanity Fair mom wink values.”
Oh but the speech, you know, blah blah something about Main St., and how Palin is unhappy with absolutely everything about American government except Ronald Reagan, who is LITERALLY dead. And head’s up, Palin has decided that what China really needs is a “mechanism” for dealing with the Uighurs. It is not immediately clear from contextual clues that Palin knows what a Uighur is (was?), but what’s crucial is that she definitely thinks it (they?) need (needed to?) be dealt with, somehow.
Pic is crying for alt text…
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Hockey Puck claims that the financial meltdown happened due to government interference. Most economists say it was the lack thereof but she’s making progress, communication-wise.
I really appreciated her insight that the financial collapse was caused by too much government interference/oversight.
This lady is certainly world leader material. Of what country, the debate is still open.
Everyone knows this was a joke, right? They were drunk when they decided to invite her, obvs.
>Palin has decided that what China really needs is a “mechanism” for dealing with the Uighurs.
I think that was an offer to house all the Uighurs at Guantanamo Bay; the Chinese would have to provide the torture, though.
I’m just stunned that anyone would pay money to hear her speak. Just give a 3 year old kid a couple cups of coffee and you’ll get the same result for a lot less money.
She looks genuinely surprised to see the design that she picked.
Terry:
How about the country of Florida?
“And head’s up, Palin has decided that what China really needs is a “mechanism” for dealing with the Uighurs.”
Other than the mechanized instruments of torture already in use? A wood chipper, perhaps à la Fargo?
Prommie: I’m presuming that it got back to them that the world is LITERALLY her oyster, and they invited her out of fear. KNEEL BEFORE YOUR NEW OTTER OVERLORD, ASIANS!
Mazel Tov indeed. Palin has notorious Nixon Jew-counter Fred Malek working for her as an “adviser.” Obviously Palin is planning to remake US America into the Fourth Reich should she ever become president. Only Jack Ryan, or maybe Neo, can save us now.
When she says “Main Street, USA” she is referring to the unpaved mud trench that runs through the center of Wasilla.
The report I got was that Palin started talking about a bunch of re-hashed laissez-faire stuff then Jean-Claude Van Damme ran in and kicked some people in the head then Sarah nailed up a copy of the ten commandments then things got strange.
@ifthethunderdontgetya: Sarah Palin unveils plan to wipe out U.S. national debt by increasing the size of coinage. “Suddenly, we’re 20 times richer!”
Some attendees were disappointed by her focus on her home state and her attacks on President Obama.
“As fund managers we want to hear about the United States as a whole, not just about Alaska,” one told AFP. “And she criticized Obama a lot but offered no solutions.”
If these people weren’t living on the other side of the planet I’d say they’re dumber than Palin herself. But since they do, I’ll just say: “Now you know what we’ve had to put up with since the 2008 elections.”
Terry: “This lady is certainly world leader material. Of what country, the debate is still open.”
Pffft. It’s Nigeria, of course. Caribou Barbie has 25,5 million in oil royalties she needs your help in transferring into the country.
And BTW, her speech was at a confab sponsored by CLSA, a subsidiary of a French bank. Why does Mooselini hate America?
chascates: This South African news source suggested she was still harping on death panels, too.
[One U.S. delegate said] Palin blasted Obama’s proposals on health care, reiterating her much-contested belief that the plan would include a bureaucratic “death panel” that would decide who gets assistance[...]
Yeah, she really is stumping for the Hong Kong voters in this rally speech.
Perhaps Palin can apologize for her Malek misdeed by calling Stephen Colbert’s 1-888-OOPS-JEW and apologizing. Though that’s not really what 1-888-OOPS-JEW was set up for.
I remember when the Alaska quarter came out. I told someone that there was a tiny floatplane with a shooter (babble spass?) leaning out of it shooting at the bear. They were looking at the upper right of that coin for several minutes before I cracked up and gave it away…
MARCdMan: She’s actually thinking, “Gosh, have quarters always been this big? Now yer talkin’!”
shadowMark: There you go again, you media folks, disrespecting our brave troops fighting for our precious first amendment liberties that you abuse by makin’ stuff up about me, also.
the problem child: I think she is referring to that thing the guy used to kill the turkeys…
“We’re not interested in government fixes, we’re interested in freedom,”
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.
If she were to adhere to hardcore republican “Values” shouldn’t she be at home, barefoot & pregnant.
Yes, because, really, government stepping back and not regulating things worked out oh-so-well in the U S of A, whereas those annoying Canadians, who had all sorts of rules on their financial industry, are really sucking, what with zero bank bailouts or collapses.
Also.
Serolf Divad: Exactly. It’s like going to a Megadeth concert, expecting to hear Prince.
Let us recall the Dixie Chicks and wonder how many breathless blog posts on red sites we’d be seeing if a Democratic wannabe clown went to China and criticized President Bush or US foreign policy during his term.
I can just see them lining up for the fainting couch now!
Serolf Divad: Amen to that.
MARCdMan: She is…she picked that design while on one of her meth benders…
Caption: It’s coming right for us! (tears poster of coin to tatters with submachine gun)
Holy Cow!!: It’s like she went over there & burned her draft card. Or bra. Ew. (I am not one of those men who want to see Saggy Sarah naked. Barf.)
She used the word “nebulous”. Her speechwriter is obviously evil in a good way to make her learn such a word.
4tehlulz: the problem child: I think she means give them all adjustable rate mortgages.
Note to Simple Sarah: Freedumb and government interference aren’t popular concepts in Communist China.
So, she disrespected our president while on foreign soil? BOYCOTT HER CDS!!!
When I see Bible Spice unveiling artwork, somehow my mind goes to this
Canuck13652: You can’t write “future” without first writing f u.
Terry: World leader? Nay, the Universe! My vote is for Exalted Grand Cyclops of Uranus.
“And head’s up, Palin has decided that what China really needs is a “mechanism” for dealing with the Uighurs.”
A Final Solution, if you will…
They get SP, we get Asian porn, fair trade we can believe in.
China’s entire 4,000 year history has been a series of “mechanisms” for dealing with regional issues. So while the 1.3 billion Chinese may have been keeping an open mind about this “Sarah Palin person,” they now all know without a doubt that she’s someone who has absolutely no idea what she’s talking about.
Prommie: It was quite literally a sort of joke. The CLSA investment group’s tradition has been to invite someone in the news who may well provide entertainment, not necessarily be informed or informative. In other words, their invitation fell just short of that radio stunt where the Nicolas Sarkozy impersonator called Palin. They knew exactly what they were getting.
REM summed her up in their song “World Leader pretend”.
So she read a speech that Randy Warmonger wrote for her.
and…..is there any reason to give it any attention?
One could just sign up to follow Randy’s tweets if thats what you wanted.
Apparently her check for this gig was “in the low six figures”. Come on, shadowy global investors. I’ll take the gig for half as much next year, and make AT LEAST twice as much sense.
Sarah Palin: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler.
Is it wrong to hope that quarter topples over and crushes her, also too? She’d make great fertilizer.
The Church of Realism: What did you mean when you said, “Feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey, donkey donkey”?
mookworthjwilson: I love it when you can post arcane News Radio bits and someone gets it in like 10 seconds. I fucking love this site.
Death panels for Uighurs. I knew it!
Sarah Palin needs to visit North Korea and get sentenced to 12 years of hard labor.
You won’t see Bill Clinton going over there to rescue her, either.
“CLSA, an arm of French bank Credit Agricole, said it closed Palin’s session to the media after she indicated that she would have to adjust her speech if reporters were present.”
How galling is it that there’s some exclusive platinum-member bat-shittery available only to the elites? What about Joe Six-Pack, Sarah? WHAT ABOUT MAIN STREET?
TheJerkStoreCalled: At the Values Voter Summit Bill O’Reilly got an award for media courage. The ceremony was closed to the press.
Exporting Police State & Homeland Gestapo
rocktonsammy: Sorry, but it’s a bad deal. The good stuff is from Japan. With China you just get the human trafficking of abused farm girls with bad teeth. But then again, that might still be a fair trade for SP. Also.
Does Palin realize that the term “Uighurs” is not a racial slur?
So is she wearing schoolgirly kneesocks in that picture, or S&M leather boots - & which would be more likely to give you nightmares?
Discuss.
4tehlulz: Actually, right after the speech, she went down to the front row, referenced that section of her presentation, and made an offer of help. The ‘mechanism’ she had in mind, as it turns out, relates to her new side business: Travelling Cotton Gin Sales Rep.
Prommie: It was a joke, and they were not drunk. I have it from someone in the hedgefund industry that these guys invite oddball speakers all the time, for entertainment. It’s how they roll. And they treat the whole thing with utter deadpan and seriousness - that’s half the fun. Palin was invited purely for shits and giggles.
A “mechanism” to deal with the Wiggers? Like a “Final Solution”? God, can she be any more unaware of the English language?
Fuck you Sarah, and the snowmobile (oops, snowmachine, my bad) you rode in on.
widget09: Nah, she’s got daughters for that now.
She frow it in da rake! She in pray now! Berry up, wonkaroids.