The latest escapade from “queen birther,” the esteemed dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz, is moving forward quite rapidly and is hilarious and hopefully there will be no more updates during the writing of this post because HOLD UP ONE SECOND, PLEASE, OKAY?
The last time we checked in on Taitz, she was being mocked by a federal judge in an official court opinion dismissing her latest soldier-client’s suit to avoid fighting overseas until the Commander-in-Chief presents the very very secret locked-up outer-space version of his birth certificate. The judge also threatened sanctions against Taitz if she keeps filing all of her frivolous lawsuits. Taitz responded by, guess what, filing another motion — an emergency measure for stay of deployment for this soldier, Connie Rhodes.
THEN, however, Rhodes herself wrote the judge saying, Please throw away this latest motion from Orly Taitz, she is insane and I did not authortize her to do this and I will just go to Iraq, where in fact I already am:
… please withdraw the Motion to Stay that Ms. Taitz filed this past Thursday. I did not authorize it and do not wish to proceed. Ms. Taitz never requested my permission nor did I give it. I would not have been aware of this if I did not see it on the late news on Thursday night before going to board my plane to Iraq on Friday, September 18, 2009.
Taitz, who actually responds to comment requests from Talking Points Memo, tells them that she will STOP AT NOTHING, and also, Connie’s letter was probably forged.
I don’t know if this letter came from her, since she is in Iraq now and the Office -max store from where it came, states that they don’t send faxes for customers. The signature on her notarized letter from Kansas and this letter looks different.
Signed, “Orly Taitz DDS Esq.”
So that’s what’s up with Orly Taitz today.
Taitz: Ex-Client’s Letter Renouncing Me In Birther Case May Be A Forgery [TPM]
Army Captain Client Threatens Taitz With Bar Complaint: She Doesn’t Speak For Me [TPM]
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How surprising. A perfectly good and legal document, this letter from a departing soldier, and Taitz calls it bullshit.
If I had a dollar for every client who wrote to a judge to tell them I was insane and didn’t know what I was doing, I’d be a rich lawyer today.
If and when Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld are hauled before the International Court of the Hague for war crimes, I want Orly Taitz to defend them.
That’s a MAN baby!
Have you noticed that Orly Taitz’s head looks different from picture to picture? WHO IS FORGING ORLY TAITZ’S HEAD?!
Thst image is something you usually only see at a Waffle House after dark.
This woman has to be an associate of Penn and Teller. She must be a performance art project in progress. Like when Zappa made a quilt of underwear, she is making a living quilt out of the skidmarks on the Right who support her.
Orly should ask her (ex) client if she can pick up a decent wig for her, in Baghdad.
[re=415723]memzilla[/re]: Oh, please, Jesus that would be so perfect. Everyone pray this happens… quickly! kneel at your cubicle, and ask God for Bush to give this woman a call.
I wished I had a lawyer named after my oily taint.
Do all birthers have a forgery fixation?
I like how the brave captain renounces Oily’s representation only after the case is lost. Shouldn’t there be a court martial starting soon? Or should her unit just volunteer the brave captain to act as an ied detector?
Connie Rhodes,
When you call forth and summon the crazy, it will not be easily dismissed. You have, unwittingly perhaps, unleashed a power that you could not possibly have imagined. You must pay for the carnage you’ve caused by remaining joined to Ms. Taitz for all time.
She kinda looks like Michele Bachmann.
R33L ASTATE1111 YOU ALWAYS FORGET SHE SELL TEH REEL ASTATES.ALSO. DINTEST, LAWYEEAR AND REEL ASTATES1111
Where’s the long form of that letter? Huh?
Am I the only one that thinks Orly Taitz looks like a 70′s porn star? I bet she has bush for days.
Is that mascara, or is Orly also a chimney sweep?
Orly smells like mothballs. It’s true!
That dude looks like a lady
[re=415741]MARCdMan[/re]: Have you noticed that Orly, Bachmann, Palin and the Duggar mother of 19 or 20 or whatever – all have those C-R-A-Z-Y eyes???
Alien implantation of some kind???
Cue up the 2010 Oily Titz/ BaLack Yobama porno entitled “Pro-Bono”.
OfficeMax makes half of it’s money from sending faxes! Oily is a few teeth short of a set of dentures. And there’s something not quite right about her hair.
I’m guessing that she shaves her head so she can line the inside of her wigs with tin foil.
Sorry, OT I know, but this is my new ‘moran’ sign.
Speaking of Patrick Swayze in drag…
[re=415751]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Gotta be.
Historians will note that Orly Taitz was, in fact, a forgery.
“1-900-490-FREAK, come and join the party, the fast and easy way!” Anyone fast-approaching middle age who squandered countless late-night hours watching MTV in the early days should recognize that jingle and understand why it leaps into my mind anytime Oily Taint is mentioned.
I think the soldier should do a 180 and sue the Bush Admin for starting the war in the first place. That’d be rich.
Do some Photoshopping. Take a snapshot of that Beck character, maybe his full frontal from Time. Add heavy eyeliner and lip gloss, then a blond wig with a flip do. What do you see?
[re=415762]Anarchitect[/re]: The Federal ‘Lemon’ Law should apply if nothing else does.
According to Wiki-wakka, Salon has suggested she replace Paula Abdul on American Idol.
I leave it to the heathens here gathered to suggest plausible dialogue for this scenario.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orly_taitz#Media_reactions
Does one purchase taint oil from O RLY?
I would imagine that the Army, seeing as how they paid for Captain Rhodes’ education and all, gave her two choices: 1) STFU and go to Iraq or 2) Face a court martial, jail-time, dishonorable discharge and payback of the money for the education.
Lie down dogs and all.
[re=415739]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
Connie Rhodes, [change to John McCain]
When you call forth and summon the crazy, it will not be easily dismissed. You have, unwittingly perhaps, unleashed a power that you could not possibly have imagined. You must pay for the carnage you’ve caused by remaining joined to Ms. Taitz [change to Palin] for all time.
There…fixed.
Thats no dude, thats Liza Minnelli. Oh, right, forgot about that.
she’s past the orbit of rule 11 sanctions and heading straight into the asteroid field of disbarment. couldn’t happen to a nicer dentist.
Oksana Baiul really let herself go
[re=415757]TGY[/re]: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Don’t be lazy! When you use that “Handwritten Sign” software, you’ve got to use the spelchek feature!
I wish Ruth Buzzi would end this Punk’d skit already.
I keep telling people that calling up demonic creatures from the underworld is a bad idea, but will they listen? Nooooooo.
Nothing is real until I say it is!
ORLY TAITZ IS A FORGERY! I CAN TELL FROM THE KERNING OF HER EYE SOCKETS – THAT PARTICULAR SPACING WASN’T AVAILABLE UNTIL 1999.
[re=415728]Saragon[/re]: WHERE IS UR LONG NECK HEAD CERTIFIKIT ORLY!?!!1
Orly? Yarly.
If the pods can get to great Americans like Capt. Rhodes, why can’t they get to Bush, Cheney, Rush, and Glenn? Stupid pods!
[re=415731]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: No no. That’s definitely a 3am at the Steak and Egg face.
Ha. She could easily cite an AOL poll showing most people believe the letter is a forgery. You may proceed with your motion, counsel.
I have never seen that particular headshot of Orly. So she was in “Velvet Goldmine” then?
[re=415778]Scarab[/re]: OMG! THAT’S IT!
Watch this VIDEO featuring Orly Taitz, Gomer Pyle, a young Hilary Clinton, and a pre-pubescent BARACK OBAMA!
It explains EVERYTHING!
That is the fattest deployed soldier I have ever seen. These birthers stay true to form, eh?
When a gum or toothpaste commercial talks about 4 out of 5 or 9 out of 10 dentists approve, she’s that ONE.
It’s an American triumph when mental illness comes with its own steady income stream.
And yet, she makes more coherent arguments than Glen Beck.
[re=415812]A Better American Than You![/re]:
WIN!
[re=415811]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Sugarless gum is a CONSPIRACY.
[re=415757]TGY[/re]: You are forgiven for the OT. That was definitely “laugh-out-loud” funny. I know I did.
If there is a God, I beseech thee: please continue to tell this twat to “stop at nothing”. For the lulz.
Now we know why sharks are endangered. That woman is jumping them at a terrifying rate.
[re=415810]problemwithcaring[/re]: Birther by birth, soldier by choice.
She reminds me of Malcolm McDowell’s mother in A Clockwork Orange. Unfortunately I can’t find a damn picture of her online.
Claims she filed no such motion in 3-2-1…
And not only was Ms Rhodes’ signature forged, this Iraq war is a fake too.
signed –
Orly
[re=415778]Scarab[/re]: That’s EXACTLY who she looks like to me: Ruth Buzzi from the Laugh In show in the ’60′s!!
My car broke down on the freeway, Highway patrol pulled over:
Officer: Hmmmm, broken down? Did you check with the trans?
Me: But officer, Orly Taitz knows nothing about cars
Geez. The only things missing from all these stories is a Keystone Cops car chase, some oooga horns and a well aimed custard pie.
Hypothetical question: If we mail this crazy muppet-fucker a vial of baking powder with Barry O’s picture emblazoned on it, do you think she’ll break and go away?
O Rly will stop at nothing, nothing! Until all documents, everywhere, are proven to be the forgeries that she just knows, in her heart of hearts (which is in her anus), that they are.
To hire Orly Taitz, all you need to do is say her name out loud 3 times. Be Careful! Once you have summoned her she cannot be sent back to hell.
Can we just deport this creature? I’m sure we’ll have to ditch some ICBMs to balance it out with the Russians, but that seems like a reasonable sacrifice.
[re=415756]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Under the tin foil, her skull is covered with of a paste made of finely ground Risperidone.
[re=415774]Prommie[/re]: I don’t think I was the first one to say this, but Orly Taintz looks (and sounds) like Sasha-Barron-Cohen-Whatever (that Borat guy)’s newest character. How silly are the justices going to feel in a year when they’re in this movie, not realizing that the character is a JOKE?
And you wondered how he’d ever top Borat with the ridiculousness. pshhh.
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No, Dr. Taitz, I expect you to lie.”
I would not have been aware of this if I did not see it on the late news on Thursday night before going to board my plane to Iraq on Friday, September 18, 2009.
Good luck with your unit (yikes) and keep safe (really).
Signed,
Someonewhototallydisagreeswithyouoneverything
Orly Taitz, Assquire.
[re=415741]MARCdMan[/re]: Have you ever seen Bachmann and Taitz together in the same room? Wigs.
[re=415751]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: All those women you named have da crazee eyes, but they can’t touch Miss California. Did you see her at the “Values” Voter confab whining about how she’s being oppressed? Bug-eeeee. Especially when she raved about Jeebus promising her she’d be Miss Universe and now His Plan was derailed by the gays (i.e. those people without whom there would be no beauty pageants).
[re=415731]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Or banging on the doors of Wal-Mart waiting to be the first ones in the snack bar @ 7 AM.
Fuck. I just realized that when you take acid, everybody looks JUST LIKE HER. I need a nap and a banana.
I see Seka’s put on a little weight. And a lot of crazy.
Orly Taitz is Lance Henriksen in Pumpkinface: Orly Lives.
Where is Iraq’s long-form birth certificate? Also.
[re=415853]Joshua Norton[/re]: Suggested theme music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spz8_rpE0e0
[re=415756]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It doesn’t work if the hat isn’t grounded.
Sascha Baron-Cohen’s character comedy has all been downhill since Borat.
[re=415958]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I’m just afraid the women have this kind of power:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-03vYYAjA
You know what, I think Orly Taitz is doing this birtherism thing just to distract people from Glenn Beck’s doings in 1990. I don’t think it’s true, but I’m not the type to be happy to leave the truth undiscovered. All I want is for Orly Taitz to send a notarized letter proving she isn’t trying to draw attention away from Glenn Beck. I’d also like proof that her and Beck haven’t met and destroyed evidence from 1990. And, of course, Glenn Beck’s long-form criminal record and the police report from that awful day in 1990.
Oily Taint and the Wikki Wakka Weave
[re=415765]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: “Well, what I think is perfromance is very bad, is like when I girl in former Soviet Union and have sing like told by communists. Is no creativity and not freedom expression LISTEN TO ME LISTEN I AM TALKING OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU INTERRUPTING like bad time I was on MSNBC one time. And Simon will now tell you also singing is like forgery, okay I voting no.”
Did you ever get pretty drunk (not roaring drunk, but pretty drunk) and wind up in bed with a young lady who turned out to be a bit more on the beefy side than you thought at the time so you snuck out but she’d managed to worm out of you your last name so she calls you? And calls you? And calls you?
Well, she will be easier to ditch for good than Orly Taitz once you’ve “hired” her…You might have to hire another attorney to get rid of this one and then where would you be?
This scenario is adding a lot of credibility to the claim of some physicists that there could be as many as 11 other dimensions not easily discerned by us sense-bound mortals (and Orly may be living in several of them).
[re=415738]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: The brave captain is a doctor, not a grunt. Her closest brush with danger will be the chance that a nearby rocket explosion will shake the building she’s in and cause her to swallow her cheeseburger the wrong way.
She’s the one who dresses up as the deceased and interrupts the funeral claiming that body is a fraud
She’s the one who dresses up as the widow and trips the grieving spouse while yelling, ‘IMPOSTOR!’
She’s the one who socks the corpse and explains that the deceased owed her money
[re=415761]edgydrifter[/re]: She IS the number one party freak!!! Oily Freaker!!!!
I just saw a photograph of Orly’s now ex-client. Obviously, the Physical Fitness Test is not required of sawbone captains. I’m just saying.
Cant wait for her “Memba Her” post on TMZ.
es·quire n. A title of courtesy, placed after a man’s name.
Ah, another day when I can say: “Republican Party, she’s all yours”.
Life is good.
Poor Orly. I wonder what it’s like living your life in a Kafka novel.
I’d be careful. Taitz is a black belt in karate. True story.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orly_Taitz
Or Taekwondo. Or something.
My God. I just saw her on the youtubez, this Orly thing. That greyish red goo you see now on your screens is from my head exploding, also.
Lol at the ‘dentist-lawyer’ label, which for some reason keeps making me think of Sweeney Todd in a free association kind of way.
I’d hit it if I could put a bag over her birth certificate.
If it is about Orly, I will read it. I only wish she had a second home in a west bank settlement.
Dear Orly:
I don’t believe you have any clients. Enjoy your $10,000 fine.
PS – STFU.
Can you imagine Orly’s daily travails to her mail box? Can you imagine her reaction upon opening every utility bill and piece of junk mail in the aforementioned box? I can see it, now; with each bill she opens, she squawks: YOU LIE! holding the bill in complete disbelief as to its sender.
In OrlyWorld, every piece of post is potentially (read: most definitely) fraudulent beyond all belief.
$5-off any entree coupon for Applebee’s?
YOU LIE!
$60 monthly light bill from local utility?
YOU LIE!
Blatantly fraudulent material to case doubt on the president’s nationality?
Bingo!
I used to think crazy was sexy…until Republican women showed us all what true crazy was/is.
While I don’t believe in personal attacks, I must say, I believe her eye lashes are forged.
Orly Taitz, Smelly Snapper, Winking Browneye and George W. Bush. All In The Family, a tail had one too many times.
[re=415722]missannethrope[/re]: Amen. Me too.
“Esq.” ???
Exotic Space Queen?
How many forged documents has she presented in court filings so far? It seems like a good way to see the wrong side of a federal prison cell.
[re=415728]Saragon[/re]: her hed iz pastede on yay
/old
[re=415775]slappypaddy[/re]: How do we know the judge’s “order” dismissing the lawsuit isn’t a forgery?
Where’s the long-form summary judgment?
Oily Taintz, Esq. looks like a muppet.
[re=417071]BobTheBuilder[/re]: How do we know the Constitution isn’t a forgery? I mean, Thomas Jefferson wasn’t born in these United States and he was known for keeping time with Negroes. Obviously he wasn’t a true American, so who knows what he snuck into that heap of paper!
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