Oh my god David Brooks. He too is indignant about the suggestion that a bunch of these racist slob tea partiers are racists. He saw some of them talking to black people last weekend, during the 2.9 billion person (according to conservative blog estimates) tea party march! He was running — which he is wont to do, you see! — and saw that a few of the blacks were having one of their “raps,” and some tea partiers were there with them, listening to the rap. Then he explains that populism means hating people who live in cities, none of whom have jobs or work hard.

You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I go running several times a week. My favorite route, because it’s so flat, is from the Lincoln Memorial to the U.S. Capitol and back. I was there last Saturday and found myself plodding through tens of thousands of anti-government “tea party” protesters.

They were carrying “Don’t Tread on Me” flags, “End the Fed” placards and signs condemning big government, Barack Obama, socialist health care and various elite institutions.

Then, as I got to where the Smithsonian museums start, I came across another rally, the Black Family Reunion Celebration. Several thousand people had gathered to celebrate African-American culture. I noticed that the mostly white tea party protesters were mingling in with the mostly black family reunion celebrants. The tea party people were buying lunch from the family reunion food stands. They had joined the audience of a rap concert.

Because sociology is more important than fitness, I stopped to watch the interaction.

And this sentence is where most of you probably stopped reading the column, correct?

But there is so much more sociology for David Brooks to babble about! Here is why there is no racism behind the more insane parts of the teabaggers:

The populist tendency has always used the same sort of rhetoric: for the ordinary people and against the fat cats and the educated class; for the small towns and against the financial centers.

And it has always had the same morality, which the historian Michael Kazin has called producerism. The idea is that free labor is the essence of Americanism. Hard-working ordinary people, who create wealth in material ways, are the moral backbone of the country. In this free, capitalist nation, people should be held responsible for their own output. Money should not be redistributed to those who do not work, and it should not be sucked off by condescending, manipulative elites.

What you must understand is that every person in every city does not work hard or produce wealth, and is an elitist, and likes to take the money of the “wealth-creators” in, uh, Mississippi, maybe, to fund 27th-trimester abortions and the spread of AIDS to puppies. This is what the “moral backbone of the country” hates; the populaces of such cities as New York, where every citizen works for AIG and takes money from the people who believe in free labor.

Now of course the following assumption has been creeping into the mainstream, and yet, how aggravating!: liberals and Democrats and anyone who does not live near a farm is happy about the multi-trillion dollar bailouts. This is the fundamental assumption of David Brooks’ column: that the “elites” who complain about teabaggers being retarded and racist somehow are delighted about government bailouts of major corporations who fucked up. Non-teabaggers don’t simply shout “STOP TAKIN MY MUNNIE YOU BLACK FAT CATS,” because many of them try to work with the various terrible choices this country has been left with, like responsible adults.

They are immoral and worse than racists, because they call people out on their racism when they see it, which makes them debate-stiflers and welfare queens, also.

Have a good weekend.

No, It’s Not About Race [NYT]

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  1. Wait, which ones are the condescending manipulative elites that Brooks is sucking off? The Democrats, who tend to limit their affairs to members of the opposite sex, or Republican NAMBLA members/furries/toe fetishists/DC Madame clientele, etc etc?

  2. If any of those black food vendors became president, I’m sure some of said baggers of tea might have
    a problem with it. Oh, and quit the sociology and keep exercising. Douche.

  3. “You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I go running several times a week. My favorite route, is through Rock Creek Park because it’s so flat, has hidden alcoves, and … um never mind”.

  4. Yeah, cause US Americuns always demanded to see birf certifik8s of their preznits.
    I remember reading about the huge outcry and demands to see JFK’s and Ronald Raygun’s.

  5. These two groups [i.e. blacks and teabaggers] were from opposite ends of the political and cultural spectrum.

    And yet we live in a nation in which some people see every conflict through the prism of race.

    One essay. Two sentences. No fucking sense.

  6. Ed Kilgore, writing at The Democratic Strategist has his own take on David Brooks'(“unintentionally hilarious”) article:

    …Now David is a Yankee, so perhaps he can be forgiven for believing that mingling with black folks, listening to their music, and allowing them to prepare one’s food are things no racist could possibly do. If that’s the case, of course, there’s never been any racism in the Deep South, and neo-Confederate sentiments really are and were just about abstractions like “states’ rights.”

    Unfortunately, the Brooks column never much rises above this sort of superficial argument that if there’s any evidence of non-racism among Obama opponents, then even mentioning racism is an outrage. …

  7. When I read his column this morning, I wondered how long it took Brooks to write something that was not just 180 degrees removed from reality, but was so jaw-droppingly wrong that the words themselves would actually warp space and time to form their own Continuum of Fail.

    His basic premise was that since he saw white people eating food that was prepared by black people, and listening to music that was played by black people, that there was no racism, QED.

    By his reasoning then, whenever I, the OWG (Old White Guy), eat halal chicken, that means that there can be no terrorism in the world.

    Brooks’ new job title: Tea Klux Klan Apologist.

    How many brains of wingtard opinionators can fit on the head of a pin?

  8. LOL.

    What a douche.

    I too ran down the mall that day and oddly enough saw a rapper on a stage. The people in front of said “rapper” were a confused white lot who didn’t quite know what to do.

    As it turns out, said rapper was a conservative rapper (yes, I know, that’s like being both dead and alive at the same time), who was mouthing anti-Obama songs. Well, the black folk at this black family reunion thing suddenly realized that this rapper wasn’t lil Kim and moved away. I heard a couple of black girls saying: “Where did he come from? Who is that? Get me outa here.”

    Of course they said it all in a sexy, sassy, black girl way that no one but sexy, sassy black girls can quite get right.

  9. “The tea party people were buying lunch from the family reunion food stands.”

    Like it’s even humanly possible for those people to walk past food and not stop.

  10. “Money should not be redistributed to those who do not work, and it should not be sucked off by condescending, manipulative elites.”

    David Brooks is jealous, as he wants to be the one getting sucked off by condescending, manipulative elites.

    As for the filthy lucre made by degenerates who live in icky, immoral cites, it should all go into farm subsidies and gratuitous wars in random countries to entertain those who get farm subsidies, because they are moral and productive, and not negro ACORN Muslins. Also.

  11. Down heah in tha dirty South, we know that populism and racism have never had ANYthing to do with each other. No, suh! It’s liberal elites behind them sheets!

  12. “Well, I don’t have a machine for peering into the souls of Obama’s critics, so I can’t measure how much racism is in there.”

    Well, David, you could (correctly) apply some sociological methods to take a stab at it.

  13. “Money should not be redistributed to those who do not work, and it should not be sucked off by condescending, manipulative elites.”

    Who’s sucking who off now?

  14. “Hard-working ordinary people, who create wealth in material ways, are the moral backbone of the country.”

    Interesting. Hard-working enslaved people, who created wealth for others in material ways, were the economic backbone of this country. Also.

  15. “mingling” — how quaint

    “sociology” — ooo, scientificate

    “sucked off” — como picante!

    “condescending” — speaking to and for himself

    and all the “isms”, they’re so sparkly!

  16. — Jefferson advocated “a wise and frugal government” that that will keep people from hurting each other, but will otherwise “shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned.” —

    Hence, the lash and a federal government which allowed slave labor.

    That was brilliant, Brookie. Bril-lee-ant. Your visa has now been revoked. Back to Canada for you, dickwad.

  17. Seriously. Out of the 60 to 70k people at the Tea-Bagger event, did enough of them mingle with the darkies to count as anything but a statistical outlier in the first place? Next time we have these two groups in the same area at the same time, we should GPS tag the Baggers ahead of time to find some hard data. For sociology.

  18. Listen here liberals, as long as no one burned a cross it isn’t racism! Calling the President a “lyin’ African”, not racist. Saying the President should “go be president of Kenya”, not racist. Signs depicting the President as a witch doctor with a bone through his nose, not racist.

    Sheesh, you guys are so sensitive.

  19. [re=414713]Cicada[/re]: “Listen here liberals, as long as no one burned a cross it isn’t racism!”

    I think CNN’s still got that one up in the air as either racism or satire.

  20. “So, David, would you be willing to put up your guest room in your luxuriantly appointed DC townhome for an itinerant teabagger during the next protest?”

    “Heavens, no! That’s a stench one can never get out of the Italian leather!”

  21. P.S. The best ‘shorter’ version of his column is here: “If there’s one thing that 19th century American history teaches us, it’s that racism has played little part in this nation’s politics.”

  22. [re=414650]dum librul[/re]: Applebee’s don’t have no fancy salad bar…you must be thinkin of communist hangout (because rubies are red) Ruby Tuesday.

  23. As to his redistribution of wealth argument (you can tell I can only read little bits of this bs at a time): Far be it from a humble person with nothing but a meager Masters Degree from a lowly state university to tell Mr. Brooks anything, but isn’t the whole point of communism that the people who produce shit are supposed to get their fair share from the fatcats who own shit? That labor has value?

  24. [re=414662]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’m pretty sure that we are getting this in lieu of our weekly analysis of PurgingTons NOONmartinihempshiresville. The “Brooks went running and saw no racism” title is pleasantly reminiscent of the “Peggy went on the street and saw a Mexican” meme we adore.

    It looks like Peggy won’t have to bend over for Mr. Newell today.

  25. “it’s so flat, is from the Lincoln Memorial to the U.S. Capitol and back”

    I run this route too but I also include Capitol Hill as part of it. Wuss.

  26. I saw a real aerial picture of 60,000 Moran march. I saw no burning crosses or clusters of white hoods.

    Racism does not exist in America. Levantate Borregos!!

  27. Nothing is more typically American than denying the obvious! Racism does not exist! There’s no global warming! The passenger pigeon is not extinct!

    When denial no longer works, the same people turn to conspiracy theories. It’s not my fault that my roof is caving in, just because I didn’t fix it for 40 years! Jews made everything too expensive! etc. etc. This is another reason I keep on living in China. Chinese people have a lot of can-do spirit, Americans these days don’t.

  28. [re=414732]DustBowlBlues[/re]: What I meant to say in addition, is that I’m sure a sociologist of Mr. Brooks’s caliber would know the true goal of communism. He must have studied theory in addition to research methods.

  29. My degree is in sociology. Dave must have missed the day they covered “cognitive dissonance”.

    [re=414693]P Drizzle[/re]: I was reading somewhere that he was black. And I thought, “wow, a non-incarcerated teabagger of color”. Your link has now shattered my worldview that we are all, regardless of melanin content, equally retarded.

  30. “Jefferson’s philosophy inspired Andrew Jackson, who led a movement of plain people against the cosmopolitan elites and killed off a fuckload of Injuns.”


  31. [re=414687]One Yield Regular[/re]: And if those negroes were selling the kind of food our coloreds sell, it was deep fat fried. And what teabagger can resist that? I wish Brooks had extended his argument to point out that the teabaggers were eating food that had been handled by the coloreds and not looking at it to see if the brown had come off on the food before they put it in their porky mouths.

    Even supposedly smart conservatives have no ability to discern irony. That’s my meme today, that conservative aren’t funny because they have no sense of irony.

    Oh, gawd–Brooks just came on the Newshour. Why isn’t Jim liveblogging this?

  32. Cities have never created wealth despite how much we earn from our service industries and finance jobs. The only people who create wealth are the producers of government cheese

  33. There’s no anti-Semitism in America either, which is why no Jewish family has ever felt compelled to change its surname to something bland and WASP-y like “Brooks.”

  34. Hey David, what are you doing in DC? Don’t you want to connect with real Americans? Right now is the best time to buy in Overland Park, Kansas! You can find yourself a nice, moderate, unpretentious Midwestern-tudor home on a white-flight cul-de-sac near a Home Depo. Why torture yourself mixing with all those elite, wine-drinking scumbags when you have the power to be among your people?!

  35. [re=414747]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: Thanks. That’s why the OK DemocratIC Party has a Carl Albert Day rather than a Jefferson-Jackson Day Dinner. Since we were the catcher, not the receiver in the Indian removals, Jackson isn’t a very popular figure among many in our party. Jefferson is, because no one knows what a crazy fucker he was.

  36. [re=414711]Snarkalicious[/re]: I noticed that the mostly white tea party protesters were mingling in with the mostly black family reunion celebrants.

    Mr. Brooks, ever the innocent, did not realize these were “squares” trying to score some sweet “dope.”

  37. “Money should not be redistributed to those who do not work.”

    But I’ve redistributed my unemployment checks already to my landlord, the grocery store, and several medical marijuana collectives. Should I not have done that?

  38. I just love the image of the Tea Klux Klan (thank you, SlappyPaddy) mingling with the Black Family Reunion Celebration attendees and buying soul food from them, then lingering with their greasy fingers to rock out with some good ol’ fashion hip hop jams. Dang! I’m sorry I missed the fun.

  39. [re=414760]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “Since we were the catcher, not the receiver in the Indian removals, Jackson isn’t a very popular figure among many in our party.”

    So is it really any wonder why the conservatards love themselves some Jackson? If anything you’d think they’d be demonizing him as the original “Death Paneler”.

  40. [re=414769]imissopus[/re]: I shop those Lake Forest collectives, not too far from Saddleback Church, and I know that’s certainly not wrong. Local Republicans demand the best and at a cheap price.

    Re: Babbling Brooks

    What coloured glasses did he use not to see the racism sprawled from sign to sign?

  41. I invite the hard-working moral backbone of the economy to create wealth by stopping using everything the liberal, educated coastal elites, top-notch university research centers, innovative secular scientists and engineers invented and developed, liberal movie makers and musicians created as well as all government services. Let them create wealth.

  42. Ah, the conservative argument against reality. “I went outside for a walk/run and saw that people were not, in fact, clawing each others’ eyes out directly. I guess things are way better than the liberals/Democrats/economists have been telling us.”

    Logic FAIL.

  43. Brooks would never eat that food, so it was revealing to watch the rubes he publicly identifies with – at least in public, out of political necessity – eat it. Right out of the hands of black people.

    He should do his next column on all the mechanisms used by the elites throughout history to co-opt populist rage for elite ends and enrichment. The Iraq War, corporate Nashville music, draft riots, nativism… oh, yeah, and racism.

  44. [re=414774]GreatOldOnesParty[/re]: No, no, no. Death Panels are people who might conceivably help arrange hospice proceedings for white Olds. People who slaughter non-white indigenous folk are called Liberators.

  45. [re=414785]hoosiermama[/re]: Should be RAW. Although I hate watching her talk. She’s so much more tolerable on paper. In person she is so boring that people just flop over and die after speaking to her.

  46. [re=414716]dum librul[/re]: To be fair to CNN (and I really shouldn’t), when South Park burned the lower-case “t” it was pretty certainly satire. But it wasn’t exactly targeting the black people, per se…

  47. [re=414809]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Her column this week was about 9/11 changing the lives of young people. SUCH a bore, and no insipid poetry to make me laugh, either. I might have died after reading the column, but I didn’t finish it.

  48. [re=414758]ChernobylSoup v2[/re]: Are you kidding? A gay son might actually tell me where the good restaurants are or hook me up with a decent haircut. A teabagger son-in-law would do nothing but eat my food, yell racist platitudes at my friends, and fart up the furniture. I speak from experience (sort of).

  49. I threw up the coffee in my mouth first thing this morning when I read that phony piece of shit column. Uhhh…when was the last time people showed up at a preznit appearance with lethal weapons strapped to their bodies? Bigots hating Jack Kennedy because he was Catholic, I remember that, and how it ended.

    David Brooks is an ass.

  50. [re=414737]coochiemama[/re]: OT, as well, but after the OK kids are stupid headline, I was thinkin’: Back in my Seattle Employee appeal board days–it was unfortunately called the Civil Service Commission. I got a lot of calls from people who thought I was the federal hiring office.

    Back in the 80s, when the mayor was a pal and the Deputy Mayor was hubby’s best friend (and I knew that we were all Democrats in a non-partisan govt.)–and Reagan had just been elected– a lady kept going on and on about how she’d been to the federal building and there was no one at the CSC office, EVER! When I finally had enough, I said, “They’ve had so many budget cuts and layoffs that’s there hardly anyone left working there. Congratulations, Ma’am. This is the government getting off your back. It’s what you voted for.”

  51. In this free, capitalist nation, people should be held responsible for their own output. Money should not be redistributed to those who do not work, and it should not be sucked off by condescending, manipulative elites.

    Why does David Brooks luv the Death Tax and hate fine Americans like Cindy McCain, Tori Spelling, Tom Friedman and Paris Hilton?

  52. [re=414760]DustBowlBlues[/re]: catcher not pitcher. Fuck this ragweed and all the pollen. Global warming has given the DustBowl rain, and it isn’t killing my sinus passages. Which is why I believe Al Gore was right.

  53. Seriously DustBowlBlues, and PULEASE don’t anybody accuse me of blog pimping,
    burning gas and ethanol produce invisible but toxic gasses and YOUR Environmental Prostitution Agency is doing a disgraceful job of informing you that cancers, emphysema and asthma, not to mention the wholesale destruction of vegetation (that would be food) is the result. Find out why you should be screaming about the poisons you are breathing.

  54. David, David, David…

    How shall I say it? “You Lie?”

    Dude…I was in DC for three months. Many things happened to me there. One was that I learned the jogging route along the National Mall (“from US Congress to Lincoln Memorial, and back…”). Another thing that happened was that I saw your Weeble-like doughy ass from behind after you passed me on the street. If you are running some kind of loop around the Mall with any regularity, your pace must be somewhere around a 45-minute mile. It may be a flat route, but it’s 5 miles nevertheless.

    Looking forward to your upcoming correction.

  55. Um, yeah, right, Brooks, like all the yahoos walking goggle-eyed through the Castro love the gheys, too.

    But given the general Organizational FAIL of the Tea Klux Klan party (cf: that idiot congressman complaining that Metro didn’t anticipate his needs), I wouldn’t be surprised if they, um, kinda forgot about food vendors and stuff like that.

  56. [re=414809]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Well, all I got to say is the stagehands need to do a better job of hiding the intravenous Tanqueray drip this time, and in propping her up more effectively in her chair. When she was on last month or so, she had to really lean over the table to keep herself from sliding under.

  57. “One could argue that this country is on the verge of a crisis of legitimacy”

    One column at a time..

    I like to think of myself as a Hamiltonian-Jeffersonian-What’s Happening!!onian with a hint of Weezie.

  58. Well, I’ve been waiting all day to get in my annual Rosh Hashanah joke but Wonkette has given me no opportunity because they are a bunch of anti-semitic Ahmadinijad-loving holocaust deniers. However, since David Brooks is Jewish, I guess this is my last chance.

    You’ve heard about the rich Jewish guy in Beverly Hills who gets upset every Rosh Hashanah because his daughter thinks she’s supposed to blow the chauffeur?


    Thanks, and tip your waitresses! I’ll be here all week!

  59. [re=414812]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: “Her column this week was about 9/11 changing the lives of young people.”

    didn’t read it*, but it** sure has. of this*** country’s young people, it** has killed or wounded thousands, while leaving millions of the rest with an object lesson in just how evil and incompetent the government of a major nation can be. and just how stupid and obtuse a slender**** majority of that nation’s people can be.

    ***the benighted states a-murky
    ****sometimes very slender

  60. Years ago I went with a crew of my fellow young crackers to a club where Ike and Tina (and the Ikettes Review) were playing. About half the crowd was black. For about four hours there, it was all love, kisses and Tina torching the place like you wouldn’t believe. When it ended, we all went our separate ways. If we were going to become enlightened about other American cultures, it was going to take a lot more time, effort, and understanding, and without the music to make it easy.

  61. scratch the scummy film off his column — not hard to do — and it fairly well reeks of thinly-disguised self-loathing.

    yeah yeah, he wants to be black. shoot twenty feet of jism and have a stable of foxy little whores. a girlfriend named samantha etc. etc.

  62. If only these birther patriots had gotten their keen room-temperature IQs involved in 2000 and demanded to see the documentation that AWOL had attended any of the required Texas Air National Guard meetings in the 60s and 70s! And they could have demanded proof about the girlfriend of his that he allegedly forced to have an abortion in 1973? And where were they when he spoke to a writer for a proposed book about him in 1998 in which he plainly stated that if he were to become president, he would invade Iraq and have a successful time in office? And the birther buffoons could have focused their laser-sharp attention on the $5 trillion that Dumbo added to our national debt to finance massive tax cuts for the wealthy and 2 criminal, lost wars for oil (doubled our national debt in 8 years!)

  63. [re=414874]Scoops McGee[/re]: In the 80’s, I used to frequent long-defunct punk shithole City Gardens (now it would be considered an ‘alternative’ shithole) located in Trenton, NJ. It was on Calhoun St. pretty much in the ghetto. Sometimes we’d go to a corner bar to get take-out. Every time we were the only white people in the place but were treated with respect (after the occasional “Daymnnnn what the fuuuuck?”- “No, no they cool.”) Happy to fucking be there and the feeling was reciprocated. Good, good times.

  64. Bill O’Reilly at Sylvia’s in Harlem 9/21/07: “There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, ‘M-Fer, I want more iced tea.”

    David Brooks on the Mall 9/13/09: “There wasn’t one Teabagger screaming,first I want some of that fried food, then I’m going to F- your daughter”.

  65. [re=414884]Suds McKenzie[/re]: And the people in Slyvia’s were too polite to scream, “Shit, there’s that motherfuckin’, lyin’ asshole Bill O’Reilly.”

  66. And a ‘winner’ in the Smooze with Sarah eBay scam:

    ‘A true fan of former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is shelling out $63,500 to have dinner with her.
    Cathy Maples of Huntsville, Ala., was the winner Friday of an Internet auction to aid a charity that benefits wounded veterans.
    I fully support the military and our people that fight for our freedoms,” said Maples, a defense contractor who owns her own business.

    Of course a war profiteer would like to thank Sarah Palin and support her.

  67. “sociology is more important”

    The only interest these shitfucks took in Sociology was placing all those “FREE SPEECH IN COLLEGE?!! JOIN THE YOUNG REPUBLICANS” flyers up in every Soc class when they thought nobody was looking.

  68. I was there and my friend and I were cracking up because when the Teabaggers noticed that they had stumbled across the Black Family Reunion, they looked terrified. Many of them clearly were looking for another way around. Also, the obesity on both sides was fairly disconcerting. The Teabaggers did show interest in all of the fried food, but I don’t think means they aren’t racist.

  69. [re=414907]Queen Alexandra[/re]: Behold the unifying power of fried food.

    I would pay serious money to watch Chappelle’s take on teabaggers. Where are you Chappelle when we need you so?

  70. [re=414850]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: hilarious blingee
    [re=414868]hiphophitler[/re]: hilarious response

    Teabaggers like fried food so that means there is no racism. This is basic sociology, people.

    Brooks is always at his most fatuous when he’s attempting to be intellectual and academic.

    Also, there’s this:
    “In conjunction with The Atlantic Wire, National Journal asked its panel of Congressional and Political Insiders to rank, one-through-five, those columnists, bloggers, and television or radio commentators who most help to shape their own opinion or worldview. New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman received more points than anyone else, with support from both Democrats and Republicans.”

    David Brooks ranked second.

  71. David, David, David! “Hardworking, ordinary people” do not create wealth! Everyone knows JOBS are CREATED by BUSINESSES and wealth ensues. Get your conservative mythology straight, dammit.

  72. Since the WSJ doesn’t have a new Peggy Noonington column since last week I’m going to speculate that she was taken to rehab when found in a pool of her own vomit, due to an accidental overdose of sleeping pills and cheap gin.

    I see nothing to indicate anything else.

  73. Brooksy is getting pretty smug now that the tea-bagging public has temporarily shelved “Hate Jews” from the top three items on its to-do list.

  74. [re=414662]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You leave Lady Peggingham of Noonington out of this, Sir Shorts of Shortsshire, or the House of Lords Ethics Panel will investigate your cotton sourcing!

  75. The main thing that David Brooks couldn’t get over was the fact that there was no difference between the Black Family Reunion and any other festival in Washington, DC. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship. There wasn’t one person there who was screaming, ‘M-Fer, I want more iced tea.’

  76. What’s really infuriating is that as a rule, Blue States get back a fraction of what they pay in income taxes, while the rest of it goes to those goddamn Red States who need our dollars to keep them from resorting to cannibalism. Also, it costs a lot of money for those states to lock up so many millions of their citizens, not to mention all the food stamps, welfare checks, farm subsidies, battered women shelters, school textbooks and assorted meth suppression programs. Why, without sucking up our tax dollars, they’d have to actually cut up their own sheets to make their Klan robes, instead of getting them through a catalogue. (The silly bastards all get their Klan robes by mail order)

  77. Let me see if I have this correct.

    So he claims he saw a few decent acting teabaggers, which means that the majority are just “a few bad apples”. Just like the mercenaries in the Middle East, the guards at Abu Ghraib, the amount of convictions and cronyism in the Bush Administration, Catholic priest sex offenders, fraud from “no-bid” contracts, the Becktards that shoot at people because “Obama is going to take their guns away”, etc, etc, etc.

    However a couple of low level employees in ACORN acting like retards somehow equals the end of Western Civilisation.

  78. Tom Tancredo has eaten in a restaurant in Colorado, thus necessarily eating food prepared by a Latino, and therefore (despite his border fence mania and demands to deport everyone whose skin is anything other than lily white) he is not a racist. Wow, that was easy.

    Didn’t Bill O’Lielly eat in a restaurant in Harlem once, expressing shock that he wasn’t eaten by black cannibals? Obviously not racist.

    Wait, didn’t pretty much all slave owners eat food prepared by. . .

    I think Brooks has achieved a goal that once seemed impossible. He has eliminated racism!

  79. David Brooks is a cynical, Darwinist asshole, like most of the people out of the University of Chicago. Which is located in a small, simple fishing village called “Chicago”.

  80. [re=414901]Paul Tardy[/re]: Referring to yourself as a Tard is an insult to violently retarded people everywhere, who, while using less rational brain capacity that a Labradoodle, still internally at least desire not to let every bit of communication with the outside word be useless ahistorical bullshit.

    So listen you cum-soaked sphincter, when you can trace your ancestors only as far back as a great-uncle in Detroit due to the fact that your parents’ parents’ parents were bought and sold as chattel for 400 years, and you therefore must go through elaborate mechanisms to recreate a basic human desire for familial connections, then I will listen to what you have to say about the Black Family Reunion.

    Until then, stfu Troll.

  81. [re=414957]problemwithcaring[/re]: “…still internally at least desire not to let every bit of communication with the outside word be useless ahistorical bullshit.’
    [re=414959]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: “Excellent form, man.”

    yeah. Okay.

  82. “…people should be held responsible for their own output.” Yes, Dave. And you call that shit you do “work”???

    My Western Pennsylvania steelworker daddy used to grab the remote as soon as he saw Brooks’ face on the TV screen. He couldn’t have known if Brooks was a liberal or a conservative; he never listened to a single word on the mere basis that Brooks looks like such a pantywaist. George Will and Tucker Carlson got the same treatment. “College boys … whatda they know?” Click! Jack Germond was Dad’s idea of a pundit. Prejudice: once in awhile it CAN be a beautiful thing.

  83. The root of Brooks’ misleading assertions is that those hardworking Americans might in fact head to a nice dinner at Applebees with the ostensible intention of hitting the salad bar, but what he doesn’t mention is that they inevitably end up ordering a meal that starts off with the Chicken Parmesan Tanglers™ and Dynamite Shrimp, before going on to gorge themselves to blindness on Quesadilla and Surf & Turf Burgers, finishing off with a “guilty pleasure” Triple Chocolate Meltdown® finale – but hey, they deserve it!

    Under Obama’s socialist agenda, they’ll probably be FORCED to eat at that (what did they call it again?) “Salad-Bar”.

  84. Oh, yeah…that David Brooks – did an article on Franklin County, PA some years ago. Don’t think but about three people in Franklin County, PA read it though.

  85. [re=414966]Jukesgrrl[/re]:On the subject of Pantywaist Pundits- I’m trying to remember the name of a current “pundit”, the young-ish black rightwinger with the lazy eye who makes Brooks look like Hulk Hogan??

  86. [re=414678]qwerty42[/re]: Some teabagger twits posting on Politico last weekend were chortling about barging through the Black Family Reunion Celebration and disrupting things on their way off the Mall.

    Not racist, per se, but certainly that peculiarly Republican joy in anarchy and causing misery for others…

  87. Now stop making fun of the steatopygia-afflicted teabaggers. They try and get some exercise every single day – they work out strenuously to maintain their black belts in buffet. Listening to Rush and watching Pox News all day is hard work – it takes lots of calories.

  88. Off topic: I need some help, ASAP from my fellow Wonketters. I live on Amelia Island, FL. My only family is a very rich man. A surgeon. He has about $50 million dollars in property here, and he lives on an estate large enough, with horses, stables, and nannies, and illegal mexican help, and of course he is a rabid republican. He takes more trips off the drug companies that most of us could ever imagine. Hey has houses, condos, etc. all over the world.

    I am disabled. He and I have had a big falling out because, if I support health care for the poor he will no longer write prescriptions for me for the medical supplies and antibiotics I need to survive. He has called me a “NIGGER LOVER”.

    Anyway…the point of my post…There is a very large CNN bus down the road from me tonight. I thought about making up a sign, maybe two signs…n. I would like some suggestions about the signs. I’d like them to be VERY CONTROVERSIAL (and entirely contrary to what I actually believe). I’d like these sings to reflect what EVERY RICH PERSON I KNOW actually BELIEVES about poor people, black people, our black president, etc. In other words, I’d like the signs to get me on CNN…so I could honestly reflect what people in the south actually believe.

    Can y’all help me create a sign or two? I want to be out in front of that bus early a.m. I can arrange for pictures.

    Suggestions, please. Really provocative, so that it reflects what I’ve just told you.

  89. [re=414988]SparkleKitty[/re]: You are asking us what to do about someone that is violating ethics rules?

    You could just report him, but I have a feeling this is some sort of Breitbart conservitard nonsense.

  90. Bottom line: If I make some pitiful little sign stating, “Healthcare is a right”, I’m going to get pushed and shoved to the back of the line, and probably to the ground.

    If I hold up a sign that says, something to the effect, “rich doctors hate that a nigger is in the whitehouse”, or that “Sambo better not touch my medicaid”,it will make a point. I want the sign to be outrageous. Completely outrageous. And I want CNN to carry it, because I suspect that there is a teabagger party going on that I’ve not jeard about. The CNN bus wouldn’t be here otherwise. They are trying to paint a story that EVERYONE in the south is a racist idiot…and people are so afraid of standing up here…I willl stand up, and I will take the shoving, and shouting…they can’t take my life. and if they try, I’d like the WORLD via CNN to see it.

    I’m angry…and if I go to the trouble of making a sign, I’d like it to be a sign that reflects this ignorant south that I live in.

    thanks guys…

  91. [re=414989]glamourdammerung[/re]:
    You would be wrong. I want to make a statement. If I am mistaken, then you all please feel free to correct me.

    But, make no mistake. If that CNN bus is in town, it is here to reflect opinions against healthcare. Maybe I am just wrong: I would just like to reflect the HONEST VIEW of how people here see the president, and see any help for the poor. I have pretty much no voice here. If I hold up a little sign, amidst the majority, I will have no voice.

    But, I do understand nobody being able to help me. Please just disregard my request. It could possibly get someone in trouble, and I would never want that.

    I will come up with my sign on my own. And it is so going to get me knocked down, but I don’t care.

  92. [re=414990]SparkleKitty[/re]: There are plenty of actual teabaggers making racist signs and giving embarrassing interviews. Aside from the ethical issue of lying about who you are and what you believe with the intent of slandering a group (hint: that is WRONG), there is actually no need for you to do it in the first place. Trust me, these folks aren’t changing any minds with their over-the-top ZOMG COMMUNISM! bullshittery.

  93. The smartest minds I know are here. I didn’t mean to lure anyone into something immoral. I just wanted a couple good ideas. But if I did anything wrong, I apologize. I will figure it out on my own,.

    Goodnight, all. Wish me luck with that CNN bus!!

  94. Ya’ll are right. I was wrong in my thoughts. The bus will just pass without me. People like me, who are angry, just don’t show up. We’re too outnumbered by the Glenn Becks. I was called a Brietbardt (whoever he is) , and so I’ll just sleep in tomorrow and let CNN roll on by.

    No wonder liberals just give up.

  95. [re=414996]SparkleKitty[/re]: Jeezalu. There are tons of things you can do that don’t involve lying and trying to incite racial division. You could go out with a pro-reform sign (which you say is pointless). You could go out without any sign, on the chance that someone will interview you. You could look online and see if there are any pro-reform folks in your area planning to go.

    But yeah, the health care reform folks are probably better off without you if the only thing you’re bringing to the table is dedication to a sleazy, ethically challenged strategy.

  96. [re=414980]slowuncle[/re]: “On the subject of Pantywaist Pundits- I’m trying to remember the name of a current “pundit”, the young-ish black rightwinger with the lazy eye who makes Brooks look like Hulk Hogan???

    You must be talking about former Cheney aide Ron Christie, who’s confused on so many fronts it’s not even funny. People like him aren’t created of nature; no, this guy was congealed in a lab, somewhere. I’m talking about Darth Plagieus-type soul-creation shit, here.

  97. [re=414989]glamourdammerung[/re]: Smells like an ACORN thing to me, actually. “Hai guiz, look at the crazy racist things Wonkette writes about Obama!”

  98. [re=415000]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: Yeah, that’s him-Ron Christie. And let us not forget Tucker Carlson—-easy to tell that the shitheel still seethes daily about the indignities visited upon him by his high school’s bullies & jocks

  99. [re=414996]SparkleKitty[/re]: Just join the group “Billionaires for Wealth Care”.

    Best satire of the health care debate …..the right thinks they are on their side until the truth dawns on them, hey, they is makin’ fun of us …at least I think they are, not sure. etc &c

  100. [re=414996]SparkleKitty[/re]: breitbart is bart simpson’s german cousin. they used to get together for fresh snark milkshakes at the martyr’s complex. they’d sit and play rounds of “is he waving or drowning”, an obscure teutonic game with roots in the middle ages. once they tired of that, they’d while away the hours by focusing the energy of their anger into the rechargeable batteries that powered their lives.

  101. Apparently, a small town here in WA is hosting Glenda baby next Saturday to give him a key to the city’s liquor cabinet. Meanwhile, across the state, in what some suspect was a pre-‘Beck Day’ training exercise, the good folks at one of our state’s crazy institutes decided to take an insane killer along for a fun trip to the local fair, presumably so he could enjoy some of life’s basic necesseties such as cotton candy and pony rides. Turns out the dude was slipperier than a greased pig – and despite the diligent pursuit by an insane clown posse, the cuckoo has not been returned to his nest. I only share this story with you because I find it rather curious the way we human beings will fear and despise a crazed lunatic – unless he happens to be rich and famous – in which case we hand him over our keys.

  102. Forget the anthrax.
    Divide and conquer.
    Protecting the guilty.
    Sell the 9/11 cover-up.
    Pure propaganda via media.
    New PR face in the White House.
    AIPAC Neocon stage management.
    Same puppet masters behind the curtain.
    Follow the orders of the “Federal” Reserve.

    Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura

  103. Dear Editors:

    I typically do not speak for the majority in here — a polite disclaimer indicating that only I might pay any attention to my ravings. (Even though I don’t.)

    That said, I believe I speak for most when I say that leaving us over the weekend, alone and unsupported, with David Brooks amounts to actionable abuse, a Crime Against Humanity, and/or a Crime Against Nature.

    You will be hearing from my lawyers in the near future. In the interim, I suggest you consult your consciences.

    Very truly yours,


  104. [re=415032]Neilist[/re]: To make matters worse, Peggy Noonington hath weighed in on the Sunday morning showings of sermons and matins and prayers. She findeth the Moor of Kenya is ever so “boorish” when he speaketh in his uncouth tongue upon the subject of physicks and apothecaries and other matters of the welfare of the mortal coil.

    We cannot be expected to handle this on our own. A complete psychological breakdown is immanent. I will be forwarding my medical bills to the Wonkette offices.

  105. [re=415033]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: However much Margaret “Peg ‘O My Heart” O’Noonington may enjoy sitting on the cool veranda of the manor of Tara, using lady-like sips of a watery mint juleip to wash down dainty fist-fulls of vicodin for the “Female Troubles” that prevent her from taking full advantage of the dusky buck she employs to fan her aging “charms,” I strongly suspect that Our Peggy experiences an almost overpowering desire to refer to Our Nation’s Foreign-Born President by one of the more charming Southernisms, to wit: “Uppity Nigra.”

    And even if she does not, it is the Christian Duty of Wonkette Editors to make us think that she does. Particularly over a long weekend. Rather than leaving such in the clutches of a panty-waist like “David Brooks.”

    My attorneys tell me that such gross breaches of editorial responsibility can be addressed by way of a class action lawsuit. We’ll be filing in Delaware shortly.

    [“Boorish”? Peggy, dear heart, let me freshen that drink for you. (Where’s the hemlock?)]

  106. [re=415033]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: Noonington is swoonington, jeez.

    She was so frantic , to think- she was replaced on Wonkette by Brooks! That Yank. The Villagers are buzzing about Peg losing her Friday entry into the Library of Congress So she, in desperation, for the attention of Wonkette……. disrespects our fine POTUS.

    Noonington has joined the teabagging movement. obvsly

  107. [re=415035]slappypaddy[/re]: In a word: “No.”

    But then, “Do we want to be a ‘class act?,’ he inquired, David Denby-ishly.

    To which we responded, in a collective voice that started as the faintest whisper, but ended as a Mighty Wind: NO!

    But again, I speak only for myself — despite the whole Multiple Personality Disorder thingie.

  108. And what especially annoys our rural white populists — ACORN?? Hatred of ACORN is a reaction by wise and thoughtful Jeffersonians to condescending manipulative elites?? Could have fooled me, looked like a racist reaction to poor dark folks. And to further confuse my poor brain, those fine rural white populist Jeffersonians like Dick Cheney, who to me looks like a one-man condescending manipulative elite industry.

  109. [re=415038]chascates[/re]: Reagan was a character. He is what pieced together of every conservative part and characteristic to make a veritable, conservative Frankstein’s monster, of sorts. ‘Tear down this wall! Reagan smash!’

    [re=415034]Neilist[/re]: “wash down dainty fist-fulls of vicodin”

    Can a fistful of anything ever be described as ‘dainty’? lol What I can agree with is that leaving us here with this story, unsupervised, is, indeed, criminal negligence of the highest degree, and I will most assuredly be seeking recompense.

  110. [re=415040]LoweredPeninsula[/re]:

    Dear Lowered:

    I, for one, refuse to get into a discussion regarding Ms. Noonington’s “dainty fist,” including, without limitation, into whom or what said appendage may have been inserted.

    This blog has standards to which I, for one, make an effort to adhere. However low those standards may be. Or perhaps more accurately: “However subterranean those standards may be.”


    I am,

    Very truly yours,


    P.S. The lawsuit, “Victims Of Negligent And Irresponsible Wonkette Editors vs., et al.,” will include opt out notices, as per FRCP 23, to all members of the purported class.

    The real issue is whether this “David Brooks” is named as a third-party intervenor. The analysis is complicated by the patent uncertainty as to his species: Are “panty-waists” truly persons under the 14th Amendment?

  111. [re=415041]Neilist[/re]: Nseilist, Amendment XIV, Section 1, Clause 1, reads:

    “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”

    It depends on whether a “panty-waists” is a person/human or not. I air on the side of a panty-waist being an extra or subterrestrial being, or something else entirely. But, hell, if corporations can be granted personhood, who’s to say that our conservative Supreme Court wouldn’t also rule that panty-waists are also persons covered under the 14th Amendment?

  112. [re=415044]LoweredPeninsula[/re]:

    “If It Please The Court:

    To respond, briefly, to the question raised by My Learn’d Opponent, Mr. LoweredPennisula: Under opposing counsel’s intepretation of Sec. 1 of the 14th Amendment, the acknowledged and notorious panty-waists commonly known as “George Will” and “Tucker Carlson” would have to be considered as “human beings.”

    As I am sure this Court appreciates, even if My Esteemed Friend At The Bar does not, such an assertion is patently absurd, and subject to judicial notice as such in this, or any other, jurisdiction.

    Having resolved this issue, I will not waste the Court’s time by addressing the question of whether George Will and Tucker Carlson should be collective referred to as “panties waist,” “panty waists,” or simply “Annoying Little Pompous Shitbags.”

    Respectfully submitted,

    Neilist, Esq.
    Neilist, Neilist, Neilist & Neilist LLP
    Counsel for Plaintiff Class of Victims of Negligent
    And Irresponsible Wonkette Editors

  113. Good Monday morning Wonketteers!

    The morning chatshows said that last night was the American televsion awards – and not one of out Wonkette Overlords liveblogged it? I thought you Yanks loved your telly…

  114. [re=415055]NYNYNY[/re]: Don’t know, but news says that insane killer and escaper from county fairs whom I wrote about earlier has been recaptured. That means we’re safe until next Saturday when the 912ers are taken off their Thorazine for the entire day.

  115. [re=415047]Neilist[/re]: Neilist, in all seriousness, I’m on your side. Not sure whay I’m even being playfully and continually seen and refered to as an ‘opponent’. Think of me as a counsel colleague.

  116. [re=415064]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: My having wandered into the unwell territory of feminine hygiene products is evidence that:

    [re=415040]LoweredPeninsula[/re]: “leaving us here with this story, unsupervised, is, indeed, criminal negligence of the highest degree”

    I will be joining [re=415041]Neilist[/re]: as one of the “Victims Of Negligent And Irresponsible Wonkette Editors vs., et al.,”

  117. I hate to bring this up but not only were we left to fend for ourselves with the likes of Master Brooks and Mistress Noonington, on Saturday we faced the horror of yet another article about John Edwards’affair in the New York Times, and not just any article. No, this column included the following sentence:

    “Mr. Edwards once calmed an anxious Ms. Hunter by promising her that after his wife died, he would marry her in a rooftop ceremony in New York with an appearance by the Dave Matthews Band.”

    How can anyone be expected to survive that sentence’s assault on the frontal lobe — especially when we have been left utterly defenseless — abandoned by the editorial staff of Wonkette?

    I will defer to the legal experts with regard to the matter of a Truth and Reconciliation commission. And the involvement of the Hague.

  118. [re=415067]notwavingbutdrowning[/re]: My god, this is out-and-out aggravated assault! A dead wife, and a pending marriage to feature the fucking Dave Matthews Band? Oh, the crazy douchebag quotient; she burns!

  119. I know all you Norte-y-Sud Americanos are asleep, or preoccupied with working your way through your last 10 grammes of meth, but are there any wingnut rumbling around the Fox-fact that Obama is going to seize control of the UN Security Council today and declare himself GOD-EMPEROR OF EARTH to fulfill his destiny as the Marxist Negro IndoMuslin Antichrist, as predicted by Jerry Falwell in 1987?



  120. Boorish? Oh, no, no, no, no, Ms. Noonan. Those of us on the left condemn him for being too conciliatory, too non-partisan, too calm and collected when the moment calls for screaming hysteria, and those on the right condemn him for not being a right wing sociopath, which, to their racially transcendent credit, is much the same as they would have done to president Hillary Clinton, but boorish? Did you just pull that word out of a hat?
    There can be no denying that Barry has style and grace, elegance and eloquence. Even those on the right who compare him to Hitler admit that he gives a good speech.
    Actually, I think I’ve figured out why you dislike him so much. He is much like your idol, Ronald Reagan, except blacker, younger and not as dead.

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