Wonkette
Oh this is amazing, you should watch. (IF YOU ARE AT WORK THEN PUT ON HEADPHONES.) The lovely Values Voters Conference is taking place in DC this weekend, and every Republican worth his or her salt is there, telling off the gays. The organizers of this event, however, appear not have set up a satisfactory reporting section for the credentialed news networks, like MSNBC and even Fox(!), whose correspondents are being accused of RUDENESS while one wingnut or another is trying to speak on stage. Also: will your editor and possibly Liz Glover be stopping by this conference at some point tomorrow? Perhaps… [YouTube]
C’mon, the last guy was looking for temple for the High Holiday…
Funnier than shit thrown at a fan.
I’m a big fan of Chris Parnell and Maya Rudolph, but that sketch sucked ass!
Get the fuck out. Will you please leave. Jesus loves you. I paid to be here and I can’t listen. I can’t hear what the guy on the stage is saying and I paid to come here. Get out. You are very rude. Jesus loves you.
Roscoe loves Christards!!!
The stink-eye from the Dick Armey impersonator around 2:40 is priceless.
let’s hope our Wonkette returns safely. how was that townhall meeting a few weeks ago?
At science fiction cons they sing filk songs and have a costume contest. Do these people sing filk songs and have a costume contest?
To be completely honest about this, I don’t think they were all that wrong for asking them to stop interrupting the hate speech they paid to hear.
qwerty42: If the last townhall our Wonkette attended is any indicator, Jim or Liz will return from this event knocked up and ready to pop.
Smart money’s on Jim.
Yeah, whatshismuffin can’t possibly step outside to do his standup from out front. Sort of an entitled bitch.
Funny how they only got concerned about all the noise he was making after he started reading off the list of seminars they were having.
Also, those rugged individualists sure seem to have a lot of conferences and meetings, don’t they? I guess when you know you’re right, you need constant reassurance of that fact. Which is probably the same reason schizophrenics talk to themselves constantly.
I love the MSNBC anchor yelling “INTERVIEW her, Brian!” into his ear while “Rudey Ruderston” is trying to tell the stage-whispering, Your-Commie-Manners-Make-Baby-Jesus-Cry lady that he’s a credentialed member of the press with every right to be there. INTERVIEW HER, BRIAN!!!
Voyou Charmant: Joe “Mr. Teen Decorum 2009″ Wilson would undoubtedly agree.
men in black alert at 1:40
Fair is fair, Jim, so please remember to bring your M16A1 Semi Automatic Weapon of Righteousness to WingTardiCon ‘09!
So ya, thought ya might want to, go to the show ?
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow ?
SayItWithWookies: “I guess when you know you’re right, you need constant reassurance of that fact”
That would be why severe Christians must listen to only Christian radio, watch only Christian TV and read only the bible. If they aren’t mainlining jeebus 24/7, they get twitchy and ascairt.
get a load of saturday’s agenda. what a load. these peeps be livin in the parallel universe. flatland or somethin.
Get off my lawn!
widget09: Indeed, widget.
Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
Get them up against the wall!
There’s one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me,
Get him up against the wall!
That one looks Jewish!
And that one’s a coon!
Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
There’s one smoking a joint,
And another with spots!
If I had my way,
I’d have all of you shot!
And here we thought Roger Waters was being a bit hyperbolic.
slappypaddy: That agenda is going to be my new wallpaper.
And you are?
My name is Linda Putz.
‘Nuf said.
I also liked the way the sheeple backed off when the security dudes showed up at 1:40.
Sheeple I say, Sheeple!
SayItWithWookies: It’s too bad that we don’t have an anonymous venue in which we can reflexively reinforce each others’ well-entrenched worldviews.
bitchincamaro: I thought she said Linda Plex, rhymes with buttsecks.
Capitol Hillbilly: Right. Putz. As in butzsecks.
What’s that thing in your hand, and why is that feller shining a light on you HENGH????
Jim, dude, it looks like a great spot to pick up angry, hateful, vehement chicks.
Extemporanus: ow! that hurt. musta been truth or somethin.
Voyou Charmant: That’s what I was thinking. The MSNBC guy was being a dick-head.
May I add that the media being dicks in no way mitigates the gargantuan dickedness of the bunch of jacktards who call themselves “Value Voters.”
Any journalist attending that event who’s not facing the stage and repeatedly screaming “Keep f-ing that chicken!” is simply not worth his or her salt.
Extemporanus: Touché — but hey, I talk to people who disagree with me. I just come here when I’m tired of all those people being wrong all the time.
slappypaddy:
Agenda:
True Tolerance — Panel discussion on why angry black men won’t allow pretty young white girls to speak into microphones
Obamacare — Panel discussion of Barry Sorento’s disingenuous and uncivil commentary on angry black men talking away microphones from pretty young white girls
Global Warming Hysteria — One climate scientist reacts to angry black men taking away microphones from pretty young white girls
Thugocracy — A reading of Ayn Rand’s prescient delineations of the epistemology and ethics of angry black men taking away microphones from pretty young white girls
“Don’t touch my microphone.”
I love it when the TeeVee interviewers say that.
I love this one!! Why aren’t they teaching it at MIT and Caltech and all those liberal science-y schools?
GLOBAL WARMING HYSTERIA: THE NEW FACE OF THE “PRO-DEATH” AGENDA - CABINET ROOM
Dr. Calvin Beisner, National Spokesman, Cornwall Alliance for the Stewardship of Creation
It’s the latest wingnut theory that links abortions and global warming!
Well, now at least we know what they’re teaching in Science classes at Liberty University!
So who’s making the money off these gullible wingos by staging this hatefest? Why isn’t the MSM following the money? How many of these barely disguised Klan rallies are planned for the near future?
Boorishness is a core value.
I’m torn. The attendees are a bunch of backwards right-wing fucktards. But the reporter is a supremely punchable douche. Who to hate, who to hate…
Okay. I’ll go with hating the fucktards.
JSDC007: It’s the latest wingnut theory that links abortions and global warming! I thought you were kidding.
It’s somewhat ironic that the value of these chuckleheads to society approaches nil.
What was wrong with stepping outside to do the report? What value was added by reporting during the presentations? Dicks, dicks everywhere and not a drop to drink.
Those nuts are too funny, in a dangerous sorta way. There she was whispering like a librarian because a wingnut was speaking, when last week I’ll bet she was with the Tea Klux Klanners yelling and screaming with twisted faces and ugly signs out on the DC Mall. She had no idea how hypocritical she looked.
So can we burn the whole convention center to the ground like in a recent movie about Hitler?
Could Nora O’Donnell’s eyes get any farther apart?
BadKitty: the same goes for FOX N00z
leave me at your own risk: It’s not about what’s right, it’s about who’s right.
BadKitty: I’m now convinced that “balanced” is wingtard speak for “Insanely Slanted in Our Favor”
Excuuuse me, but I believe you mean the talented and beautiful Liz Glover.
Wow. Well, here’s to hoping there’s an adequate psychiatric treatment coverage component to whatever form “Obamacare” finally takes, because there’s clearly a significant need out there.
RoscoePColtraine: Who’s right? Who’s left? Whose rights? Who is left once you filter through all this crap. The guy could have easily stepped outside to do his stand-up.
ain’t nobody got no manners no more nohow.
reporting in the true spirit of diogenes, who used to masturbate in the town square whenever he fucking felt like it.
Jim & Liz, whatever you do, do not look them in their eyes, the can steal your soul
It’s like the minute the cameras went on they went at it like moths, flapping their appendages wildly into the light, so much so they couldn’t even tell that one of them was there to promote the event and the worldview. Hysterical flapping (or is it fapping) ninnies all.
This is by far the funniest sketch ever from Mike Nichols and Elaine May!
Buzz Feedback: in my book, wide-set eyes are a sign of beauty– as long as they aren’t too far apart, then it becomes freakish. But Norah is totally babelicious.
leave me at your own risk: The incompetent event planner who invited the press but never designated a spot for them is totally to blame. But that incompetence is hardly surprising; after all, these are people who clearly don’t care for details.
OMG they think we dreamed up global warming as a new way to abort post-born fetuses or whateverthehell. No wonder they’re so pissed. I’d be pretty pissed, too, if I had to juggle that much hate and paranoia between trips to the wrapped sandwich table.
Riling up the oldies, these clever seminar titles clearly are. Some old liberal is gonna get a blanket party back at the rest home come Monday.
Good thing these attendees weren’t the same ones screaming and chanting to drown out discussion in other public forums. Oh, wait…
Monsieur Grumpe: As a friend of the TeeVee reporter, and as a TeeVee reporter, the Wicked Witch is here to report that that microphone probably costs more than the hecklers earn in a couple of months. They couldn’t afford to replace it if they broke it.
However, methinks the Peacock would gladly buy a new microphone if Brian had whacked each of the hecklers ON LIVE TV.
Heh.
Gotta love the goons who came in and REMOVED THE HECKLERS. There is hope in this world, thank Jesus!
TPM now has video of the Faux N00z reporter’s contact with the CHUD attendees. It’s pretty damn funny, too.
God it sounded like Stephanie Tanner was up in there with all the “how rude” shit going on. Fuck these people.
Moleman v2.5: It’s good! The oldie gives him a very intimate heckling.
Come the rapture, that room will be totally empty.
There couldn’t be a clearer demonstration than this why we need more on site reporters of color.
leave me at your own risk: My snark pistol misfired there. What I was trying to say was this: If I was a reporter on an assignment, invited by a group of Jesus freaks to cover their funny conference, I’d have done exactly what this guy Brian did. Step out? What for?…The show is in here!
Rick Sanchez needs to be there too after his tirade at Fox today. He’d probably punch Ms Manners and her buddies. Or maybe he’s got his own stun-gun by now.
Jesus Christ. Last week we had t-day, now these assholes will make be hanging out in all the best bars, looking really hungry and pretending that they just want to talk to these people about the Lord’s plan for them.
I’m staying in so no one tries to prostatelytize me.
grandpappy paddy tells this story around the electric fire on cold winter nights:
“many many many many many years ago, when there were only three television channels, every telephone was connected to a wall by a line, and the only computers were as big as small trucks and lived in air-conditioned rooms, i was a young journalist and was taught, as were all the young journalists, that one of the worst things a journalist could do, almost even worse than making things up, was to become the story instead of reporting the story.”
then grandpappy paddy chuckles, farts, burps, passes out, and we put him to bed.
slappypaddy: Your grandpappy was right. Smelly, but right. Listen guys, it ain’t right when their side does it and it ain’t right when our side does it. The press was invited to cover the event. It would have been helpful if the press coordinator had mapped out where reporters should stand. In the absence of clear directions from TPTB and in the presence of persistent complaints from attendees who wanted to hear the presenters, I say in all earnestness to the reporters: walk the fuck out the door and do your stand-up outside the room. Or, so help me, I’m going to take this fucking microphone and cram it down your fucking throat. *Paging Serena*
OMG! Tina Fey leaked this advance copy of Palin’s speech to Hong Kong businessmen!
http://nailinpalinnow.blogspot.com
I wonder if they will bring up Delonte West to bone up their racial sympathy card.
They could say he’s Kenneth Gladney who Second Amendment rights are being violated by those crackers in PG County.
leave me at your own risk: I love those kinds of reports! “I’m standing here downtown in the dark, where something happened several hours ago in that building over there behind me…” and so on. Plus, I thought the MSNBC dude was more Terry Jones than Chris Parnell.
Extemporanus: I was thinking Kristen Wiig.
We’re nearing the anniversary of Dan Rather getting beat up at the 1968 Democratic Convention. I hope we see more reenactments.
Value Voters??? Are they going to have a straw poll on what the best special at Walmart is this weekend?
GreatOldOnesParty: I thought that’d been known that for years.
Prof. Junk: Also.
“Get off my summit!!!”
More of Nora O’Donnell’s legs please. I have so missed her since her preggers days. Also.
God, these people are so unattractive, so unpleasant and so disagreeable. But the defining quality that they so strongly radiate is they’re all deeply, profoundly mentally unbalanced. Neurotic, hateful, cranky and paranoid.
Robert Heinlein once pointed out that paranoia is a disorder that affects fundamentally bad people. These are fundamentally bad people.
How I’d like to bite all their motherfucking fingers off.
I agree with a few others, here. The very idea of inviting reporters to a “Value Voters” conference, and then not planning it well enough so that the reporters wouldn’t be heckled is just stupid.
That said, I’d like to punch little Brian Pigshit in his pig face, just because he seems like a total smug reporter prig. And, I hope that “Dont’ touch the mic” becomes journalim’s “Don’t taze me, bro.”
Lastly, anyone see the Fox heckler? I think it’s even funnier than this one. An old just randomly toddles up to the reporter looking dead into camera the entire time (instead of at the reporter) and does another one of those weird librarian-like heckles to the reporter. It’s hilarious.
That woman put her cheek on the reporter’s arm. Was she coming on to him?
Catholics4Condoms:
She was rubbing her tits all over him at the end, and she’s kinda hot in a Milfy Fascist sort of way, I would’ve stayed for that.
Do I have to pay for a ticket to this chucklefest to know what was the content of those speeches? Is there a video? A transcript?
Also, anyone have the Fox video?
NVM, I found the video from Fox.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m0bllEM_8o
Ha, I like how the Fox reporter first tries to tell the guy that he’s giving them exposure and spreading their message, and then when the guy still heckles, the Fox guy sounds really sad and disappointed. “But I thought you social conservatives liked me!”
Oh great. The “true tolerance” speech is a campaign all about fighting the pro-gay policy.
http://www.truetolerance.org/
Funny how the more clean cut and preppy they try to make teens look, the more gay they strike me.
You should have seen the litter of Value Voters attendees who careened over to Good Guys, Camelot, Archibald’s and the Palace Friday night and Saturday night–they loaded up on whiskey, bourbon and beer, tipped the dancers, paid for “private dances,” got into fights, four of them got arrested for disorderly conduct, and a whole crew of them went to some diner about 3 a.m. Sunday and ordered dozens of early-morning breakfasts, some of them still with dancers from the clubs. Then there was something about a late-night, after-hours party at some townhouse on C Street on Capitol Hill, and that party apparently went on until 5 a.m.!! There was some rumbling about a late-night, or early morning, run to a nearby 7-11 for certain health products, Dorito’s, liters of Diet Cokes, and several boxes of Slim Jims.
WadISay: Come on Jesus! Help us, Dude!
TVarmy: The MSNBC guy had more balls than the Fox guy. He faced a bunch of people, including one guy who gave him a Dick Cheney-ish stink-eye.
All the Fox guy had to face was a guy who looked like Henry Gibson’s great-uncle.