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INCONVENIENT DEFINITIONS

Bill O’Reilly Has Absolutely No Idea What The Public Option Is

It begins thusly: Bill O’Reilly announces that it is a good thing the public option is dead, because now the President can work on making sure the government will start to provide cost-effective, reliable health care for people who cannot afford private insurance. And then some gal from the Heritage Foundation is like, “Hmm, are you sure, Bill, that you want this? Because what you just described, it seems like something you don’t want.” It is at this point that O’Reilly realizes he has LITERALLY just said he loves communism. Ha ha, whatever though, because he 100% covers his tracks by assuring this sinister woman that he personally doesn’t want a bunch of socialists ordering him to retroactively abort the seniors in his family—Christ no—but he thinks that this might be good like for poor people. [Daily Kos]


12:28 PM on Fri September 18 2009
By Juli Weiner
2984 Views

  1. snideinplainsight says at 12:34 pm, September 18th, 2009

    If they just renamed it “O’Reillycare” I’m sure everybody’d vote for it and we’d be done by next tuesday. Because really, everybody wants this - the wingnuts just don’t want it if it has Obama’s name on it.

  2. lulz, wut?????

  3. He’s more interested in the falafel option.

  4. Shot at Wolf says at 12:35 pm, September 18th, 2009

    He’s just trying to get Barry over to Fox on Sunday morning.

  5. So, he’s in favor of a marketplace where Socializm can be sold? I haz a confuze.

  6. bitchincamaro says at 12:36 pm, September 18th, 2009

    @ 0:29 Billo looks to notes for help with her name and muffs it into his wrist. Do it live, fucko!

    (I think I’ve seen her on Extreme Ultra Office Porn as well.)

  7. user-of-owls says at 12:36 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Bill, this is why doing it fucking live is not your friend.

  8. norbizness says at 12:37 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Evidently the Murdoch Company nanites have had difficulty in locating O’Reilly’s brain and converting him to full-froth objectivism.

  9. Serolf Divad says at 12:38 pm, September 18th, 2009

    I think I saw the Craiglist Ad that the Heritage Foundation put out to hire this gal:

    Right Wing Think-tank wants mercenary spokesperson to sell unconscionable ideas to the American people on TV. Must look like Tina Fey. Will pay $$$$$$$

  10. bitchincamaro: Please your source sir! to the Extreme Ultra Office Porn, I mean that also.

  11. norbizness: Your words imply that there is a non-frothy degree of objectivism, or even that there are DEGREES of objectivism at all. I don’t think so, sir. Go full foaming-mouthed, godless, internet-trolling, fanatical Galt, or go the fuck home and pay taxes and move out of your dad’s basement and shit.

  12. Serolf Divad: So I guess Sarah Palin finally canceled on them?

  13. So messy!

  14. magic titty says at 12:42 pm, September 18th, 2009

    “I don’t want people to have health care but they should in fact have it.”

  15. ragepotato says at 12:43 pm, September 18th, 2009

    It’s okay, Bill. No one actually understood what the public option was. Essentially, your health insurance sponsors defeated a meaningless abstract concept by screaming that gubmint was gonna get all up in your fat pill and dick pill prescriptions. The fact that it was called the public option meant nothing whatsoever. It might as well have been called “the yard chocolate yahtzee” option.

  16. Way Cool Larry says at 12:44 pm, September 18th, 2009

    he really should be more careful– he really screwed up by letting some humanity show through his lizard mask

  17. norbizness says at 12:45 pm, September 18th, 2009

    To Fox News, the only acceptable completion of a sentence that begins with “I think poor people…” is “…should be harvested and their organs sold on the gray market.”

  18. I feel like, to some extent, O’Reilly really doesn’t know what he believes. Like many right-leaning Americans, he’s led along by the Republican Party, with all their talk of Patriotism, to think that the right is for everything they like and the left is for everything they don’t. But these aren’t actually EVIL people, just people who have been misled, so when they speak their mind on these key social justice issues, they don’t realize that they’re on the opposite side of what they really believe.

  19. magic titty: I suppose it’s good that Bill O’Reilly feels he can be honest that what he actually WANTS for America is the worst thing that could happen to America since the first inaugural address of George W. Bush.

  20. SayItWithWookies says at 12:47 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Bill just got fooled by the sly rhetoric of the commies who want to give insurance to the people who can’t afford it. It seems like a reasonable idea, until you realize that it’s secret code for death camps.

  21. Now there’s a candidate to compete with Wolf Blitzer on Jeopardy!

  22. WHOOPS! Literally thousands of seniors just changed their minds on this whole health care thing.

  23. PlanetWingnuta says at 12:57 pm, September 18th, 2009

    will obamacare pay for Bill’s batteries for this vibrator that he sits on while making sexual harassment calls?

  24. Reminds me of Dan Quayle, who when asked what would women who had an unwanted pregnancy do if abortion were outlawed, said “they could just get a little d&c.”

  25. Bill O’Reilly gives a firm ‘No’ to socialized healthcare. Wait, ‘Yes’. No, it’s definitely ‘No’. That is correct: yes, repeat ‘no’.

  26. watershed: They were against the death panels before they were for them. But it’s easier logic for them to just say they support whatever the right wing supports.

  27. Cape Clod says at 1:08 pm, September 18th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Its just like those sneaky liberals. Slying putting the word ‘option’ into the name of their plan to confuse Billo into thinking that they are going to take his insurance away and force him into getting group insurance with poor people.

  28. magic titty says at 1:09 pm, September 18th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: And he’d like an option that would allow him to be blown by top-heavy associate producers who can keep a secret.

  29. m_supercomputer says at 1:09 pm, September 18th, 2009

    The current level of right-wing nutjobs think Billo is in fact not conservative enough and should have his timeslot taken away. Who do they think should take his place? Ann Coulter.

    Seriously. No part of that is a joke. IT’S COME TO THIS.

  30. miquonranger03 says at 1:10 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Why don’t they just call it the “Nobama Totally Republican Thingy, We Promise, :D, ^_^!” plan? They’d pass that today if they renamed it that.

  31. Godot: Reminds me of my Mom in the Reagan era, when she was a Republican who favored abortion rights, equal opportunity for women and subsidized day care but got mad when I pointed out to her that this made her a Democrat.
    She’s an Obama-loving Dem now, thanks to GWB.

  32. miquonranger03: Limbaugh Limited Liability Legislation

  33. bitchincamaro: Yeah, this is her, in that moment after she let her hair out of the bun, and before she whipped off her glasses and jacket.

  34. Lesson of story: Glasses on a right wing tart, don’t make em especially smart.

  35. WadISay: !ay carumba! Yes! We want Heritage Foundation minx porn! And we want it now! She can moan talking points, I don’t even mind at this point.

  36. AbstinenceOnly Ed says at 1:33 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Death to O’Reilly! Basic human decency is for liberal pansies. Bring in Ann Coulter, who paid for his adam’s-apple-ectomy his own damn self!

  37. Lascauxcaveman says at 1:34 pm, September 18th, 2009

    TGY: Don’t worry about Bill. It’s Friday afternoon, so he’s still gonna get that envelope from the insurance lobby discretely passed to him. It’s not going to be as fat as last week’s envelope, but he’ll still get it.

  38. Sick Puppy says at 2:07 pm, September 18th, 2009

    TGY: miquonranger03: Limbaugh Limited Liability Legislation

    Limbaugh Obviously Limited Official Liability Offering Legislation, or LOLOL for short.

  39. hobospacejunkie says at 2:14 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Those glasses are only good for being splooged on.

  40. Public option is dead. Now “pubic lotion” might be something Bill can get behind.

  41. Extemporanus says at 3:26 pm, September 18th, 2009

    “Barack Obama is going to pull the plug on falafels!”

  42. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 3:40 pm, September 18th, 2009

    It is a little known fact that FOX News has a pen full of Heritage lackeys in a spare lot next to their studios. When ever they need an expert, they cull one out, wash off the fecal matter with a fire hose, and then put them in studio to give the latest insane right wing talking points.

    At FOX, this is known as fair and balanced reporting.

  43. Accordion-o-rama says at 4:20 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Reusable headline #47:

    Bill O’Reilly has absolutely no idea what ____________________ is

  44. Just keep fucking that chicken, Brillo.

  45. TIRED OF LIBERAL NUTS says at 5:34 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Are you people for real? When you liberals disagree with someone, rather than making a legitimate arguement for or against something your answer is to “call them names, make fun of them for the way they look, speak or belittle their intelligence”. Is this what you call fair and balnaced? Do any of you really think Bill O’reilly really gives a flying f#@! what you people think of him.

    Talk about bigots.

  46. SomeNYGuy says at 5:46 pm, September 18th, 2009

    spymoose: Would it be too rude to call you a pinhead?

  47. SomeNYGuy says at 6:43 pm, September 18th, 2009

    Sorry, spymoose, my previous comment was actually a reply to TIRED OF LIBERAL NUTS. You have to respect the integrity of a conservative who decries “name-calling” but starts name-calling before he types a comment — it’s already there in his nym!

  48. Maybe Bill-O will finally get that generic prescription strength bag of dicks he wants so badly

  49. Bill talks so much and always over his guests, who might be able to assist him with information, that he misses a lot. Getting factual reports from O’Reilly is an exercise in futility, and if I ever watch The Factor, it’s purely for laughs, because I love makin’ fun of Bill.

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